Fair enough, I would in no way defend Kingmaker as the best CRPG I have ever played, but at the same time I appreciated it for what it was and the only time I got annoyed and put down the game was because of its RTwP, I didn't experience the same frustrations that you did. But I also am not looking for a linear game that lays out the story for me and I just click through it like a visual novel. I read books on an eReader for that. I do feel like going from one point of the map to another to talk with companions is every single Isometric CRPG and not really a fair criticism, especially since talking to companions and others gives a lot of lore, backstory, builds the characters and is essential to any RPG. Was Pathfinder a wealth of well written dialogue, not really - I think that is a fair criticism.
Another fair criticism for Kingmaker is that when it first released it needed still a lot of work, and with the ways they added options much of the Kingdom management criticism doesn't hold anymore, if you don't like that aspect just turn it off now. I personally like the challenge of it and did a playthrough where I just let the whole thing roll itself out without reloading, and I managed it and it was interesting.
As for wanting the computer to think for you, you may need to wait for better AI that can anticipate what you want to sell and what you don't. And just because a video game can't address everything to make it like real life, doesn't mean they should do away with real life details completely, would I take all the details you listed out, totally, are most of those even possible today - not sure.
Also camping in POE1 was too simple and basic, it wasn't even needed in most cases, or at all on normal difficulty. Limiting camping supplies was smart, but you can accomplish much the same thing with limiting food. One thing I like about DnD is the fatigue factor when you don't rest, again adds another layer of difficulty and planning.