I dreamt I was stuck in a Maniac Mansion'esque point and click adventure. I'm not sure if that is at all related to watching Everything Everywhere All At Once, but probably. I'd post more details about the dream, but what happened in it is curiously out of grasp. I remember dreaming and the topic, but the details are gone.
Anyway, I debated with myself whether or not I should post an honest opinion or not, but I will. This will be like the many times my friends dragged me to a movie and then asked how it was, and I usually say fine or okay, with the unsaid implication that fine isn't as good as it sounds, and okay was worse than that. I said it before, but I've been also asked if I like films at all. Which I do. *sigh*
So, before getting needlessly verbose, here's a TL;DR: The film was fine, and it's my turn to be the meanie zucchini for a change. Which is fine too, because that's usually my role when talking about films anyway.
For this to make sense, I'll have to explain a bit more - and spoil the end of the book series, so take care. In King's The Dark Tower, Ka is a wheel. Ka is a concept of fate, destiny and destination the people in this world have. As such, and even though a whole lot of people were disappointed with the ending of the book series, it makes sense for the protagonist of the series, Roland, to eventually end up exactly where he started. Albeit with the slight variation of having the Horn of Eld, an item of some importance, in this new turn of the wheel.
The Horn of Eld in this case is me not hating the film, which makes it different to the last time the forum - back then before Interplay went belly up and some of Black Isle's staff founded Obsidian - agreed that there's a movie of year (or better) to watch. That, back then, it was also a film containing some martial arts, namely Kill Bill Vol. 1. As I said, the difference between this and Kill Bill Vol. 1 was that I hated watching Kill Bill for a myriad of reasons. There's a fine irony here insofar as I've mentioned to someone that I will hold off on watching Everything Everywhere All At Once because I'm afraid that it will be another Kill Bill repeat. Misgivings were overcome by this thread being overwhelmingly positive about the film, and what do you know, the wheel turned. I should have stuck with my initial feeling, really - and that was based simply on the reactions of posters, not even on knowing anything about the film. Alas.
I did not hate Everything Everywhere All At Once, but I also don't think it is movie of the year material. For any number of reasons, many of which are spoilers. I'll try to post some general things before marking everything for whoever still wants to watch it.
Anyway, the first, and most subjective of it all, is the casting of the film. I like Michelle Yeoh. I also like Jamie Lee Curtis in most of her roles. Even if @Bartimaeus hadn't pointed out that Waymond is Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, I would have noticed that, because apparently he was directed to simply act like Shorty in the film during the times he wasn't told to act like Jackie Chan. Which is, luckily, most of the time. He also often still sounds like Short Round. Although that last part is an issue that fused with knowing two versions of the film, the original, and the German dub, therefore it is hard to attribute this entirely to, I don't know, either Ke Huy Quan as an actor or the direction. To add some further insult to the injury, he looks like Harry Potter throughout most of the film.
Right at the start I was thrown into a film where the main cast consisted of Michelle Yeoh, someone you don't cast simply for a role as small business owner in the US, Chinese Harry Potter and Jamie Lee Curtis as tax auditor, and while the film at least proceeds to show off that Ke Huy Quan is indeed a good actor, the overall impression of the cast was pretty immersion breaking right from the beginning. I can't put this any other way but to say that I think this movie would have benefitted immensely from not having big name actors attached to it.That said, I liked most of the opening, and I enjoyed the film up until the point they had the first action scene that went on for what felt like an hour.
That said, let's move the thing that saved the film: The core of it, the message, if you will. Chinese Harry Potter's take on life is wonderful, and the resolution to the character's problems is great. And yet, therein also lies an issue, yet again. There's so much more of that which could have been in the film, instead of, well, protracted action sequences that serve no purpose. If there's one damning thing I can say about it is that I actually sat through the action and contemplated skipping the film ahead to the good scenes.
Imagine how much that takes. I don't even skip the really bad episodes in series I sometimes rewatch. Yes, that means watching Shades of Gray from TNG (no relation to the terrible book and equally terrible film), or Move Along Home and Let He Who Is Without Sin... from DS9. And yes, Threshold from Voyager. I ultimately, being who I am, did not skip around on the off-chance that the scenes would contain something necessary for the resolution, or some minor tidbit that would cleverly come back into play, like, I don't know, a raccoon. There were not many of these, and in fact, I would have liked the film better if I just had fast-forwarded through all the nonsense.
So, hey guys, reality is saved. I didn't hate it, so unmaking the entire universe isn't going to happen (yet?), and I certainly am not going to cause the fourth trumpet to blow by loving it. It was fine. It could have been so much more. It just wasn't. No need to hold on to your potatoes.