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Guy Fawkes Night?

 

Bingo.

 

I solved a lot of problems with my life and  made some progress on other ones and I question the value of life (although i'm drunk and I might just be breaking up). It seems to me that the value system that makes people believe in life  is a bit faraway from me. By which I mean that the things I need to accomplish said perspective are not within my scope right now and I don't see them near. 

Sorry that I'm being vague, I'm not used to being so honest about myself and I might just be looking for some comfort (I'm venting right now). But to be honest I'm just wondering what keeps everyone going. For me it seems that sometimes it just the fact that my mother has made it clear that she would kill herself if I wasn't around, so I just grip my problems and wait out things that I can't change.

 

The Black Dog of depression has its jaws upon you eh Orogun? I'm sorry to hear that old man, and I sympathise as I know what it is to question life at points, indeed which of us does not? It may sound trite but there is value inherent in your life, just as much as some famous celebrity or some cultural icon. At times it may not seem like this but we are all the same, and no one can foresee the future: Someday your star may shine as bright as any others, or you may find quiet contentment in a life lived well and to your own moral code. There is inherent value here, life is the greatest gift of all, and we still live in a paradise that cannot be taken away, despite whatever pettiness is turned against us or how much we are not valued.

 

Take pleasure in the little things friend, and try and build upon that is my advice. To be in a deep funk and yet still be thinking of others shows your character better than anything else, and says to me that you are a good man, something the world needs.

Edited by Nonek
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Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch Orogun.  I don't know if it will help, but I always try and remind myself that there is no rush to get to the end.  We will all get there eventually, and no matter what you believe happens after, it is final.  But there is plenty we can do to make the trip a bit more enjoyable.  Drinking is one thing, the thought of a good beer can get me through a few of my tougher tasks, but that also can lead to some headaches, literally and figuratively.

 

I'd say the biggest change I've made recently that really improved my life is being more active.  Playing hockey has always been a good way for me to keep my sanity week to week, but I've also started running and doing yoga.  It gets addicting, and that is a pretty good thing to be hooked on.  

 

Best of luck, I'm sending you positive thoughts.   :thumbsup:

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Guy Fawkes Night?

 

Bingo.

 

I solved a lot of problems with my life and  made some progress on other ones and I question the value of life (although i'm drunk and I might just be breaking up). It seems to me that the value system that makes people believe in life  is a bit faraway from me. By which I mean that the things I need to accomplish said perspective are not within my scope right now and I don't see them near. 

Sorry that I'm being vague, I'm not used to being so honest about myself and I might just be looking for some comfort (I'm venting right now). But to be honest I'm just wondering what keeps everyone going. For me it seems that sometimes it just the fact that my mother has made it clear that she would kill herself if I wasn't around, so I just grip my problems and wait out things that I can't change.

 

The Black Dog of depression has its jaws upon you eh Orogun? I'm sorry to hear that old man, and I sympathise as I know what it is to question life at points, indeed which of us does not? It may sound trite but there is value inherent in your life, just as much as some famous celebrity or some cultural icon. At times it may not seem like this but we are all the same, and no one can foresee the future: Someday your star may shine as bright as any others, or you may find quiet contentment in a life lived well and to your own moral code. There is inherent value here, life is the greatest gift of all, and we still live in a paradise that cannot be taken away, despite whatever pettiness is turned against us or how much we are not valued.

 

Take pleasure in the little things friend, and try and build upon that is my advice. To be in a deep funk and yet still be thinking of others shows your character better than anything else, and says to me that you are a good man, something the world needs.

 

 

 

Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch Orogun.  I don't know if it will help, but I always try and remind myself that there is no rush to get to the end.  We will all get there eventually, and no matter what you believe happens after, it is final.  But there is plenty we can do to make the trip a bit more enjoyable.  Drinking is one thing, the thought of a good beer can get me through a few of my tougher tasks, but that also can lead to some headaches, literally and figuratively.

 

I'd say the biggest change I've made recently that really improved my life is being more active.  Playing hockey has always been a good way for me to keep my sanity week to week, but I've also started running and doing yoga.  It gets addicting, and that is a pretty good thing to be hooked on.  

 

Best of luck, I'm sending you positive thoughts.   :thumbsup:

Thanks for your responses, it is all I've heard before an all that I known but today I just needed someone to say it. The future isn't always clear and anxiety comes from wishing what it isn't there but today I just needed to vent. Tomorrow I will pay it forward.

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I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

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You sound like my mailman!  Look at the pic, 4 20's. You're welcome.  happy0203.gif

 

You need to see the good in everything, sounds like one hell of a cardio workout, and you get paid for it too.

That poor, poor, bastard! :<

My arms scream in fear, pain and horror at the sight!

 

It is one hell of a workout, every day I come home sweaty and tired to the bones. Don't know if I've improved anything yet, since I always make sure to keep up the pace, but I did something I have'nt done in many years. Tightened the belt another notch :p

Edited by Azdeus

Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. - H.L. Mencken

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I have a bit of flab, not excessive amounts though, but my base body type so to speak is wiry / thin-framed. That said, I do/did weigh 120kg this summer, but I have'nt weighed myself lately.

Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. - H.L. Mencken

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@Orogun I second what my esteemed board colleague Nonek advised: find some small simple thing that gives you pleasure and for the duration of the time you are enjoying it focus on that activity entirely. Put everything else out of your mind for that time. It solves nothing but any respite from the stress you are under is priceless.   

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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@Orogun I second what my esteemed board colleague Nonek advised: find some small simple thing that gives you pleasure and for the duration of the time you are enjoying it focus on that activity entirely. Put everything else out of your mind for that time. It solves nothing but any respite from the stress you are under is priceless.   

Look my problem is that I can't do exactly what you suggest, I realize that omission is a useful trait when it comes to a lot of things but it is something I've never had. I could never just ignore what was on the back of my mind so I just had to face everything head on. When it comes to things that take time I just try to have something else that it is entirely different going on at the same time; the thing is  that right now I desperately want my life to head in some direction but I don't know how to get there. I have a vague idea of how but I can't rightly ignore it when everything in my life its pointing me to the change I have to make but can't because it is not the right time yet. (I've to wait a little longer) It is just a matter of enduring and sticking to the path I've chosen but right now I just need a little bit of faith and that its why I needed to vent.  Because tomorrow I know that I've to be strong for someone else, so if it isn't too much to ask right now I need someone to hold me up. 

 

BTW, don't worry all that much I've been in this stage a lot of times and I won't just disappear like Wals (whatever happened to him anyways?!) Just let me vent today and tomorrow I will be sober and back to normal.

I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

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"i think you guys are going to have to come up with a lot of wonderful new lies, or people just aren't going to want to go on living."  is something said by a character in a vonnegut book... speaking to a psychiatrist.  

 

vonnegut's mother committed suicide. vonnegut attempted suicide in the mid 80s.  nevertheless, vonnegut never stopped trying to find wonderful new lies.  he were extreme active in support o' suicide prevention organizations regardless o' vonnegut's own uncertainty regarding the value and meaning o' life.

 

even so, nobody can tell you why life is worth living.  sorry.  

 

still...

 

“Why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about…You are not alone.” --kurt vonnegut

 

you are not alone.  is that recognition enough?  perhaps not.

 

personally, Gromnir has always found genghis khan to be a kindred spirit.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEpsVSdtfcc

 

HA! Good Fun!

  • Like 1

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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@Orogun: Mate, it sounds like you are trying to build up the courage to propose to a girl or something similarly dreadful ;)

 

 

Joking aside, based entirely on what little info a few snippets of text gives away, sounds like you lack purpose. Ever considered volunteering for a year for some kind of aid organisation? Anything happening in Cuba that could catch your interest? Just set a goal and be willing to sacrifice 6-12 months of your life to do something completely unusual from what you normally do.

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein
 

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I solved a lot of problems with my life and  made some progress on other ones and I question the value of life (although i'm drunk and I might just be breaking up). It seems to me that the value system that makes people believe in life  is a bit faraway from me. By which I mean that the things I need to accomplish said perspective are not within my scope right now and I don't see them near. 

Sorry that I'm being vague, I'm not used to being so honest about myself and I might just be looking for some comfort (I'm venting right now). But to be honest I'm just wondering what keeps everyone going. For me it seems that sometimes it just the fact that my mother has made it clear that she would kill herself if I wasn't around, so I just grip my problems and wait out things that I can't change.

Orog what you going through  is not uncommon and can happen to anyone at anytime ...sometimes something sets it off, like the failure of a particular task but end of the day the result is same. We start questioning or accepting certain limitations that are part of our lives and this can be a little depressing as we see this as a failure instead of a lesson 

 

So look at some realistic objectives and also spend time  around people less fortunate than yourself, thats always a good way to realize things could be worse 

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"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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Should I preorder FO4. I mean that way lies evil, but still. What's expected to be in the season pass ?. 

 

I only pre-ordered it because Greenman Gaming gave me a silly money off coupon for it...    So far they've thrown a few 20% off the Season Pass my way, but I just can't stir myself for that.

 

Well, pushing CV stuff around and doing all the job searches. It's kind of interesting that they keep throwing out senior jobs that I'm not qualified, then when I try to step the search back to lower levels, they only throw out graduate-internships. Joy.

 

Went out to the crematorium today with my father and sister, picking up mom's ashes and decided how we were going to handle that. And of course it's being an utterly miserable raining and grey cloud English winter at the moment.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Should I preorder FO4.

 

No.

 

I solved a lot of problems with my life and  made some progress on other ones and I question the value of life (although i'm drunk and I might just be breaking up). It seems to me that the value system that makes people believe in life  is a bit faraway from me. By which I mean that the things I need to accomplish said perspective are not within my scope right now and I don't see them near. 

Sorry that I'm being vague, I'm not used to being so honest about myself and I might just be looking for some comfort (I'm venting right now). But to be honest I'm just wondering what keeps everyone going. For me it seems that sometimes it just the fact that my mother has made it clear that she would kill herself if I wasn't around, so I just grip my problems and wait out things that I can't change.

What keeps everyone else going varies greatly between individuals. If you're trying to live by a code that is incompatible with your mindset you're just going to anguish until you're little more than a shell of a man.

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

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Should I preorder FO4. I mean that way lies evil, but still. What's expected to be in the season pass ?.

No.

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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Should I preorder FO4. I mean that way lies evil, but still. What's expected to be in the season pass ?. 

Why not? If you are a huge fan, I'll definitely buy the game but only 2-3 months after release...I'm very excited 

 

 

I love that whole post-apocalyptic world.....then you add some Mods and the  obligatory Adult Mods and you have 120 hours + of great entertainment presented to you :dancing:  :dancing:  

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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An old flame just gave birth to the cutest twin boys ever seen. I'm only slightly sad they are not mine.

 

Also, still look like the first stage of zombie plague with my bloody eye.

You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that?

ahyes.gifReapercussionsahyes.gif

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An old flame just gave birth to the cutest twin boys ever seen. I'm only slightly sad they are not mine.

Also, still look like the first stage of zombie plague with my bloody eye.

Knowing you're friends, they'll try and hook you up with a nice single mother to celebrate.

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

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An old flame just gave birth to the cutest twin boys ever seen. I'm only slightly sad they are not mine.

Also, still look like the first stage of zombie plague with my bloody eye.

Knowing you're friends, they'll try and hook you up with a nice single mother to celebrate.

 

 

Because the old flame had twins or because he looks like a bloody eyed future zombie? :biggrin:

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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An old flame just gave birth to the cutest twin boys ever seen. I'm only slightly sad they are not mine.

Also, still look like the first stage of zombie plague with my bloody eye.

 

Knowing you're friends, they'll try and hook you up with a nice single mother to celebrate.

 

Because the old flame had twins or because he looks like a bloody eyed future zombie? :biggrin:

Both

You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that?

ahyes.gifReapercussionsahyes.gif

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Today I shot the most accurate group in my life. 5 Shots, 100 meters, with my 300 Winchester Magnum. The group measures 7 millimeters from hole (center) to hole. This rifle, with my own handlaods is so accurate I could shoot flies from 100 meters. (The group is high because is sighted in for 150, not 100)

 

300wm240smk_zpsxlndomfp.jpg

 

Rifle: 

 

savage1_zpstc1xob6o.jpg

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I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

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I live in JHB which is  considered the economic hub of the whole continent....its like the NY of Africa

 

Anyway its an amazing, fast paced, vibrant, cosmopolitan melting pot. You can achieve real economic success in JHB but like all big cities it can be a terrible place if you don't have money or you exist in the periphery. JHB has been very good to me even though it obviously doesn't have the quality of life of living by the coast like most of my family

 

When I moved to JHB 15 years there was this club called Truth, its still open and offers the best nightlife experience on the continent. It used the location of an old Snake Park so apart from the fact it has 4 dance floors it has all these pools and windy stone pathways.....anyway we going tonight, its going to be epic  :dancing:  :dancing:

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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Okay its 6:30 am and I'm home ...I am very wasted but I need to go to my moms for breakfast at 10 am, I don't really feel like it but its family and I don't want to disappoint them

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"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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Okay its 6:30 am and I'm home ...I am very wasted but I need to go to my moms for breakfast at 10 am, I don't really feel like it but its family and I don't want to disappoint them

I need to be honest and add an update to this, I am working from home tomorrow so I said to my mom and stepdad I was feeling very rough and I'll visit them tomorrow for dinner  :geek:

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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