Jump to content

Gorth

Recommended Posts

I used to have this recurring dream where I'm pulling worms/maggots from my face, but haven't had one in ages. This morning I was "blessed" with it again, but instead of the usual dream there were a couple of changes, which were weird enough I have to describe it here to get it out of my system:

 

--instead of my face proper, they were mostly from the top of my head. In the dream I had this weird, flat high growth on the top of my head and when I pushed on it giant, fat, colorful fantasy maggots would surface, which I'd then pull out and drop down the sink.

--On the face proper, instead of maggots, I was instead pulling out .... kittens. From under my nose. So by the end of the dream the bathroom floor was covered in mewling, cute little kittens, and as I was dealing with the maggots from the top of my head, I was also thinking about which of those kittens I wanted to keep.

 

:blink::alienani::cat:

stop inviting the cat in your bedroom and he will stop licking your face, goodbye nightmares.

Remember: Argue the point, not the person. Remain polite and constructive. Friendly forums have friendly debate. There's no shame in being wrong. If you don't have something to add, don't post for the sake of it. And don't be afraid to post thoughts you are uncertain about, that's what discussion is for.
---
Pet threads, everyone has them. I love imagining Gods, Monsters, Factions and Weapons.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Heh. It's a wedding in Mexico where a rather large, catholic brides side of the family will be partially adopting some of the traditions of the mostly agnostic/athiest British groom and his small number of family...  So I have absolutely no clue how it'll turn out.

Well then, the speech works. Just remember to make sure everyone has had a bit to drink before you make it.

 

Also, if anyone offers you Tacos de Tripitas for some reason, do not accept. It will not turn out well.

 

As for what I did today:

 

Made my girlfriend a nice dinner because she just finished midterms. She just passed out from exhaustion and is now hogging all the covers.

Edited by KaineParker

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Trying to figure out where I want to go later in the year, probably August, for a bit of leave (a week or two). Currently it's a toss up between Cuba and California. Might be worth checking if I need to prioritise the order of visits, if the US Immigration is considering me a "hostile element" if I were to visit Cuba some day as a tourist. Might just want to visit California this year to be on the safe side.

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Okay, now I'm going to throw myself wide open here.

I've been trying to develop this best-man's speech this afternoon and so far I've got a rough draft.  I've been told I've got about 5 minutes to give the speech and the translation of it..(mexican spanish). As I've got about 26 days left to polish this up, get it translated and learn said translation...

 

I'm going to put it up here for commentary on how people think it works and hangs together at the moment. Any advice, appreciated.

 

 

Greetings.

 

Now, many of you may not be that familiar with the tradition of the Best Man. So I thought I'd explain the key elements of the role.

 

The first and most important, is that the best man makes sure the Groom gets to the church on time. Whether that's just making sure to wake him up, or stealing a car if transport is that urgently required. Well, I think we can all agree that that job has been handled now.

 

The second role is what usually happens now. The best man having known the groom for many, many years... Knows most of his secrets and embarassments. And this speech is usually there to ensure the Groom doesn't get too big headed and over proud for having successfully married a pretty lady. Thus, normally a slew of amusing anecdotes to remind him that he's merely mortal like the rest of us.

 

But, I'll be kind today. Quite possibly due to being vastly outnumbered by the brides family if I accidentally offend anyone...

 

I'll just say this, when we went to school together David was an angry young man. Very controlled, but deeply angry. However, when he came back from that trip where he first met the lovely bride, he let go of a fair bit of that anger. So I think it's safe to say that love soothed that savage beast.

 

Over the years since, I've seen them together and I've seen how much David has missed her whenever she hasn't been there.

That's a deep love between them, and it's to be valued and cherished. I'm glad to see that from this day on, they'll be together sharing in the trials and tribulations of life.

 

Also, it makes it even more unlikely I'll ever have to bail David from jail when some idiot gets him that angry again and he snaps.

 

On which note, I'll let you all return to the important things of food and drink.

 

 

 

I have had the privilege of being the best man twice. My advice is similar to what you are doing, treat the speech as you would an important presentation to a customer. Do your research and think what is practical and funny but avoid anything that may be even remotely culturally offensive. Practice it out loud , thats the best advice I can give you. When you say it out loud to someone or no one you will automatically refine jokes and what sounds good in the structure and give you confidence .

 

Remember everyone should be at least a little  nervous before doing a speech, to not be nervous shows arrogance. And thats never a  good thing :)

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

 

Remember everyone should be at least a little  nervous before doing a speech, to not be nervous shows arrogance. And thats never a  good thing :)

 

Or way too much experience ;)

If you do a speech every other day for years, then there will be little nervousness left. For us normal people though... I got lucky. I was a best man at a wedding without speeches :)

Unobtrusively informing you about my new ebook (which you should feel free to read and shower with praise).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bruce VC's advice is spot on. Practice, practice, practice. Timing is crucial in any language.

 

I'd also suggest simplifying the language and concepts to mitigate the risk of causing offence. Anger, jail, these are things which even MLK would struggle to use lightly. The jail anecdote really only works in a lengthier context, IMO.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Day four at work. Spent the day in the appeal court with one of the partners, haven't been there in a while and wanted to remind myself of how the proceedings work there... Somewhat complicated by the 150 mile trip (each way) and a fairly impressive snow storm.

 

Work's been fairly interesting, the partners and the secretary all seem to be super nice people, and I'm quite happy so far. My new apartment's over twice the size of my old one, my neighbours seem to be really quiet and from the muffled drunken yelling I just heard, sound isolation is also very impressive. :p

 

Down to 7 boxes that need unpacking from 65, getting wired internet on friday (hooray for finding the last building in the world with unidirectional cable -> ADSL connection delay), been writing this post for 15 minutes due to being half asleep... so, g'night :D

  • Like 3

You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that?

ahyes.gifReapercussionsahyes.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well here's to the change in job and lifestyle (of sorts) bringing much more enjoyment into your life Nep.

  • Like 1

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Work's been fairly interesting, the partners and the secretary all seem to be super nice people, and I'm quite happy so far.

Long may it continue :luck:

 

Sounds like a very different tune to the one from before you changed places. Disgustingly positive :)

  • Like 1

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

   I just was paid about five times what I usually take home in a week.  I earned my first bonus as a manager at work.  My department just barely qualified, so I got about a third of what I could have made if I'd maxed out.  And my income tax return was deposited this morning as well.

 

   It's a shame half of it is going to go to paying off my credit cards.  Such is life.

  • Like 1

bnwdancer9ma7pk.gif

Jaguars4ever is still alive.  No word of a lie.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

   I just was paid about five times what I usually take home in a week.  I earned my first bonus as a manager at work.  My department just barely qualified, so I got about a third of what I could have made if I'd maxed out.  And my income tax return was deposited this morning as well.

 

   It's a shame half of it is going to go to paying off my credit cards.  Such is life.

 

Nice :)

 

Let celebrate, where are you going to take me for dinner? I was thinking seafood. Lobster Thermidor  is  probably appropriate considering the fortuitous circumstances?

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Driving up to Dyersburg for work in a few. Nice little town actually. One of only two bridges accross the Mississippi in TN. I find that pretty cool.

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Update on my Winter Bells score: O.K., so now I have 200 sextillion, (and it was actually recording). One digit away from beating my friend, who has 2 septillion! Gaming has never been so intense!

Edited by Bartimaeus
Quote

How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Been one of those days that's seemed to have been full of little bits and pieces , general feel of time warp, and left with the feeling of little of actual worth having been sorted and dealt with...

 

Having a fuzzy, tired, pointlessness hit. So going to sit down to a good cup of tea and push past that.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

Work's been fairly interesting, the partners and the secretary all seem to be super nice people, and I'm quite happy so far.

Long may it continue :luck:

 

Sounds like a very different tune to the one from before you changed places. Disgustingly positive :)

Hah. I'm doing probate for so many guys who died unmarried and childless, I'm sure I'll start worrying soon about never getting laid again. :p

 

Meanwhile, I'll enjoy the sensation of sitting around a table, joking, with no easily offended sensibilities or overwhelming arrogance in sight. 8)

You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that?

ahyes.gifReapercussionsahyes.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This week has been so blargh. I'm so tired. :)

No slacking allowed. You're our bonus boss!

http://cbrrescue.org/

 

Go afield with a good attitude, with respect for the wildlife you hunt and for the forests and fields in which you walk. Immerse yourself in the outdoors experience. It will cleanse your soul and make you a better person.----Fred Bear

 

http://michigansaf.org/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

This week has been so blargh. I'm so tired. :)

No slacking allowed. You're our bonus boss!

Heheh, I used that sniper kitty as a forum sig. here, once. :)

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Need a vacation. Well a "staycation" anyway.

  • Like 1

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can't stand Gareth Bale's face for more than five minutes.

Luckily he'll be in Spain soon.

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I observed the stoop and kill a Cooper's hawk delivered to a careless sparrow. Now that was an inspirational sight. Less inspirational was my observation of the first chipmunk of spring. The furry little gremlins have a habit of getting into my apartment complex somehow.

Edited by Tsuga C

http://cbrrescue.org/

 

Go afield with a good attitude, with respect for the wildlife you hunt and for the forests and fields in which you walk. Immerse yourself in the outdoors experience. It will cleanse your soul and make you a better person.----Fred Bear

 

http://michigansaf.org/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I observed the stoop and kill a Cooper's hawk delivered to a careless sparrow. Now that was an inspirational sight. Less inspirational was my observation of the first chipmunk of spring. The furry little gremlins have a habit of getting into my apartment complex somehow.

 

I had a similar problem with rats/squirrels a few years back. Never did work out which, always running loose in the wall spaces. Bloody madness.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...