Guard Dog Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 “A couple is walking through Moscow on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. ‘I think it’s snowing’ says the man. ‘No, it’s raining’ says the woman. ‘How about we ask this communist officer here? Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?’ exclaims the man. ‘Definitely raining!’ replies Officer Rudolph before walking off. The wife turns to her man with a smile. ‘See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.’ “ You left out half the story. You left out the part where Comrade Officer Rudolph arrests the man for having a opinion contrary to the one authorized by the party. You omitted the part where the man is taken to the Lubyanka and tortured until he confesses and implicates a lot of other people, most of whom he's never met or even heard of but the Party wants rid of. And you definitely missed the part where they drag him out back and blow his brains out or ship him to Yakutsk or somewhere to worked to death. Hwy, if you want to tell communist jokes, tell the whole joke! "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before" Thomas Sowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_dog_days Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Looks like Josh will be getting a lump of Manchurian Coal for X-mas next year. It took me waaaayyyy too long to figure out who you were talking about. At first I thought it was about me (my first name is Josh), then I thought you were talking about Josh Sawyer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_dog_days Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Predictive Text Keyboard by Botnik fed all of the Harry Potter novels, comes up with a chapter for "Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash" - http://www.botnik.org/content/harry-potter.html That final line by Hermione is the best passive aggressive threat I think I've ever seen. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 And right after he ate her family! Oh AI, you've got a ways to go. "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volourn Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I like the descriptor 'reasonable'. Doesn't sound reasonable to me. DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 1 "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Four-word Christmas horror stories:Going to the shopsThere’s nowhere to parkWe’re out of cheeseLet’s play a game!Delivered to a neighbourThe family have arrivedGet out the fridgeEnd of the sellotapeDecided what you want?I’ll have a thinkDon’t get me anything 1 "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teknoman2 Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 6 The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder. -Teknoman2- What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past? Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born! We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did. Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjshae Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 2 "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjshae Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Yeah, pretty much. 5 "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 4 "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injurai Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_dog_days Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 ^Life in a nutshell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katphood Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 1 There used to be a signature here, a really cool one...and now it's gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guard Dog Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Got this in an e-mail.... to funny not to share: 5 "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before" Thomas Sowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben No.3 Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Got this in an e-mail.... to funny not to share: that IS a great metaphor for a libertarians relationship with capitalism. Everybody knows the deal is rotten Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton For your ribbons and bows And everybody knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guard Dog Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 You are reading WAY too much into that! 1 "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before" Thomas Sowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ben No.3 Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 You are reading WAY too much into that! but you get it Everybody knows the deal is rotten Old Black Joe's still pickin' cotton For your ribbons and bows And everybody knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 (edited) Wrong on so many levels. Edited December 20, 2017 by Raithe 3 "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9swKKZy0CCM 2 This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injurai Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 Mitchell & Webb + Peep Show has got to be the most enduring comic material for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orogun01 Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 1 I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"* *If you can't tell, it's you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjshae Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Remember to eat it slowly and savor every bite... 1 "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilloutman Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 9 "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts