Writing in cRPG's -- a case study (Mass Effect)

[PrimeJunta]

I'm mostly writing this just because I need to get it out of my system, but partly because it relates to something close to my heart. Namely, writing, and the quality thereof, in computer RPG's. I just finished the Mass Effect trilogy (finally), and it's made me want to scream almost all through.
 
Not because it's irredeemably bad. It isn't. There's some fine writing in it actually, Mordin and the Krogan for example. But because it would have been so easy to make it so much better, and because it illustrates a lot of what's wrong with writing in computer games.
 
A cRPG's story is, by definition, not perfectly linear. You make choices which have consequences, at the very least, or you can do things in a different order, or choose how you react to characters and events. This means that consistency in the setting is paramount. If the setting makes sense and sticks to the rules that have been made up for it, then every individual event and story-let can also make sense. If it doesn't, it won't. Mass Effect's great flaw is that the authors didn't even try to have the setting and story make sense, and they keep violating the rules they have established earlier. It wouldn't even have been hard. My version follows, and it didn't take me more than a half an hour to think it up.
 

The Reapers. The crucial flaw in ME: the authors had no idea what their motivations were and came up with a really colossally stupid explanation at the end. My solution:

 

 

The Reapers were originally a biological race which eventually uploaded themselves into machines. They are immeasurably ancient and powerful and likely to live as long as the Universe. Yet they are still material and trapped in the Universe, and will eventually die with it. Through aeons, they have sought a way to escape the Universe and achieve true immortality, but this goal eludes them. They believe that it is possible. As they have watched civilizations rise and fall, they have observed that every new sentient race brings with it a unique perspective which brings yet new insights into the Universe. Therefore, they have taken to cultivating them, hoping that eventually one of them will discover the solution to their last, remaining problem. Secondarily, they want to prevent any sentient race from becoming powerful enough to being a threat. They have determined that a 50,000 year cycle is the best compromise, allowing sentient races to emerge, colonize the galaxy, and make their discoveries, without becoming strong enough to threaten them. Therefore they periodically emerge to harvest them, collecting as many specimens as they can and absorbing them into themselves, thereby acquiring the insights and perspectives of yet another set of civilizations.

 

 

The Crucible, and the completely nonsensical deus-ex-machina endings. My solution:

 

 

The Crucible is a device designed by predcessor civilizations, which, when connected to the mass relay network, allows its user to adjust the value of a fundamental physical constant, the muon g-factor (substitute some other scibabble if you like). While most adjustments would destroy the universe or at least make life in it impossible, Shepard over her adventures can have discovered three alternative values with profound consequences.

 

All of these adjustments will make the Crucible itself impossible. It will no longer function, and cannot be rebuilt.

 

Adjustment 1 will make the mass effect impossible. The mass relay network will fail, as will the mass effect cores powering the Reapers. The Reapers will die, and intergalactic travel will become forever impossible.

 

Adjustment 2 will make machine sentience impossible. The Reapers will remain physically intact but will fall silent, only some of their subsystems remaining. EDI will regress to a VI, as will the Geth.

 

Adjustment 3 will give the Reapers what they have sought all through the aeons. They will be able to create a brand new Universe, and will escape into it. The galaxy will be left to the sentient races in it, machine and organic, to make of it what they will, and perhaps in their turn escape it, once sufficient time has passed.

 

 

 

The Normandy and Shepard. My main beef with Shepard and the Normandy is that Normandy was a warship and Shepard is a soldier -- but the game itself has her swashbuckling across the galaxy, romancing aliens left and right, and doing all kinds of inconsequential stuff while the Universe is being destroyed. It simply doesn't fit. I would've written a different Shepard in order to keep the swashbuckling. 

 

 

 

The trilogy opens on Eden Prime, where the son/daughter of a grizzled smuggler/privateer/space pirate, Captain Adam Shepard, have just delivered a load of something vaguely illicit in his ship, the Normandy. The colony is attacked by geth, who destroy an Alliance vessel there to pick up some artifact from an archaeological dig. A mysterious Turian named Nihlus hires the elder Shepard to extract the artifact before the geth get to it. In the ensuing fighting, the younger Shepard accidentally activates the artifact, a Prothean beacon. Captain Adam Shepard is killed; the younger Shepard gets a glimpse of the killer -- another Turian --, and Nihlus and Shepard Jr. make it onto the Normandy and off the planet. Nihlus brings young Shepard to testify before the Council, who naturally laugh her off.

 

Then, NIhlus reveals that he's actually a Spectre, says that he believes Shepard, and hires her as trasport to the next part of the mission. On the mission, Shepard witnesses Nihlus killed by Saren, and is once more laughed off by the Council. There he's contacted by Garrus and Capt. Anderson who believe that Saren is crooked and join her on her quest. They return to the scene of Nihlus's death and recover a destroyed Geth platform. Reasoning that it may have stored a record of Nihlus's murder, they contact the Quarians hoping they might be able to decipher the data. A young Quarian named Tali helps them do just that. Garrus, Shepard, and Tali bring their findings to the Council. Saren is disgraced. Councillor Udina reveals that there has been a concerted push for a human Spectre, and that Nihlus had recommended Shepard. Her work investigating Nihlus's murder tips the scales, and Shepard becomes a Spectre.

 

At this point, the Normandy gets retrofitted with some cool upgrades, and the plot proceeds on similar lines as it was actually written. The main point is that Shepard isn't a soldier but a free agent from the start, and the Normandy is more of a privateer or even pirate ship than warship. Without the military etiquette it can be as Love Boaty as BioWare fans could possibly wish without causing massive cognitive dissonance; Shepard can still interact with the Alliance military but now as a mercenary/private contractor rather than someone in the chain of command, and, of course, she will eventually save the Universe.

 

In Mass Effect 2, Cerberus would supply Shepard with a proper warship, since she'll actually need one in that game.

 

 

 

I would also have made the various cultures of the galaxy much more distinctive; in particular I thought it was a cryin' shame that everywhere looked either like a bombed-out parking garage or an office building, with even the exact same font in use all across the galaxy. I would also have made the Asari Communists, but that's only because I think Communists are cool and no galaxy would be complete without interstellar Communists.

 

End rant. Had to get that out of my system somehow.

[Keyrock]

I'll say this for BioWare, the Starchild was both one of the laziest and most confounding and illogical explanations they could possibly have come up with for the corner they painted themselves into.  In a twisted way, it's quite an achievement to both use a deus ex machina and at the same time make said deus ex machina use such unbelievably, ridiculously, baffling circular reasoning.  It's quite a triumph of mind-bogglingly stupid writing.  Even Kojima probably had to tip his hat to them and think to himself "even on my best day, I'm not sure I could have come up with a more ridiculous twist".

 

Edit:  Either that, or Kojima must have thought to himself "challenge accepted".

Edited August 10, 2014 by Keyrock

[Gromnir]

"A cRPG's story is, by definition, not perfectly linear."

 

disagree. is a frequent misconception that crpg stories ain't linear. they is. virtual all story-based crpgs is linear. what crpgs does is grant an illusion o' non-linearity. we can come back to this if need be, but have spent many useless pages on the subject in the past. 

 

as for reapers, we didn't have a problem with me 1 story. the fact that pj doesn't like explanation o' reapers might actual be a necessary quality for a sci-fi franchise to develop a serious geek following. nerds need a "flaw," real or imagined, that they can fight 'bout for an actual following to take root. am having difficulty thinking o' a single popular franchise that doesn't have seeming pointless geek controversy regarding at least one aspect o' the canon. 

 

in any event, villain motivations rare make sense when placed under a microscope. sauron, palpatine, sponge bob. frequent we get the "insane" or "too alien" shtick to fill in the gaps. you don't understand hannibal lecter? well, he was insane. is not a particular fulfilling explanation, but dr. lecter's motivations and actions in the movie version o' silence o' the lambs don't require survival o' close scrutiny. were lecter scary and entertaining and believable enough for 90 minutes? snow white and the seven dwarves has been, with adjustments based on inflation, a constant fixture on top-grossing movie lists pretty much since 1937. the evil queen is jealous o' snow whites' youth and beauty. thin motivation, but ok. is a fairy tale after all. the thing is, the motivation gets thinner when one considers that the evil queen has magic that allows her to change her shape. and don't even get us started on cameron's avatar.

 

reaper threat were appropriate crpg fodder. the reapers were having requisite scope to give shephard's actions gravitas. also, the reapers were beings capable o' being fought in a conventional game manner. sure, the reapers were titan scale, but nevertheless, they brought the pew-pew. have milkyway get too close to another galaxy every 50,000 years, setting off otherwise unexplained cosmic event which results in a massive x-ray burst throughout the galaxy would be having requisite scope, but it wouldn't be viable crpg fodder, would it? the me1 reaper (singular) were, for all intents and purposes, a dragon. the greater 'reaper threat' were that while it took combined fleets o' the good aliens to kill one reaper, there were many more out there lurking in the darkness, and they were coming. 

 

me 2 and me 3 didn't make much sense to us, but me 1 were fine... better than most. 

 

HA! Good Fun!

[ManifestedISO]

I noticed the writers--or maybe designers--don't feel the pain of completionist-type players, who are compelled to spend hours mining and clearing every last frickin' planet in ME2, only to have excess supply counted in the hundreds of thousands by game's end.

 

My other quibble, is keeping a lid on Tali's face the whole time. Why not have a grand reveal, or a tragic and beautiful one. I kept thinking it was coming, only to be denied. Christ, we saw Darth Vader's face, Cobra Commander's, the bad guy in Battle of the Planets cartoon, but no, not Tali. 

[PrimeJunta]

@Keyrock, yes. Yes, it was. Mind-bogglingly bad. Puts the midichlorians to shame. (Well, almost.)

 

@ManifestedISO Those were among the minor quibbles IMO. I could go on about the problems in the systems and gameplay too, many of which were far bigger than the economy-related stuff, but eh.

[Gromnir]

I noticed the writers--or maybe designers--don't feel the pain of completionist-type players, who are compelled to spend hours mining and clearing every last frickin' planet in ME2, only to have excess supply counted in the hundreds of thousands by game's end.

 

My other quibble, is keeping a lid on Tali's face the whole time. Why not have a grand reveal, or a tragic and beautiful one. I kept thinking it was coming, only to be denied. Christ, we saw Darth Vader's face, Cobra Commander's, the bad guy in Battle of the Planets cartoon, but no, not Tali. 

the tali bit we actually get. no doubt folks like bruce had their hearts race as they imagined tali w/o her mask. there were literal years passing 'tween me1 and me3 and what folks had imagined tali to be had no doubt become fixed. 

 

we knew that vader were 'posed to be hideous underneath the mask, but ultimately, at the end, we gets to see that his eyes is sad and kind and very human. reveal o' vader shows if not redemption, then at least a reconnection with his humanity.

 

tali, on the other hand, is a fantasy. what purpose does a reveal serve? sate curiosity? many folks no doubt wanted to see tali (we s'pose) but am wondering if bio thought cost were too great. could any depiction o' tali match the fantasy people had built after years o' slightly disturbing promancing? am suspecting that the biowarians probable did come up with some images that they shared within the office. am wondering if perhaps the reaction o' their own folks convinced bioware that sometimes the fantasy is gonna be better than any possible reality. regardless, hypothetical aside, am doubtful that the biowarians could come up with a compelling reason to destroy fantasy and replace with a reality.

 

HA! Good Fun!

Edited August 10, 2014 by Gromnir

[HoonDing]

Was this moved from PoE forum?

 

There are thousands of games with worse story & writing than BioWare games, difference is those games aren't hyped up the wazoo and don't create skewed expectations.

Edited August 10, 2014 by HoonDing

[Nonek]

Yes I have to admit that Bioware needs to hire some professional writers, whom know how to maintain internal consistency, basic plotlines and a logical premise. No offense to the author but has anyone read the Dragon Age novels? The prose is so childish and simple that I really struggled to finish them, for a company who are supposedly known for their writing I have yet to find any real quality evident in their games.

 

I don't think they're helped by their fans being delusionary fanatics however, whom want to hear no word of criticism or requests for improvement. Criticism is always warranted as nothing ever achieves perfection.

 

Edit: With the obvious exception of a nice cup of Earl Grey.

Edited August 10, 2014 by Nonek

[Volourn]

"I don't think they're helped by their fans being delusionary fanatics however, whom want to hear no word of criticism or requests for improvement. Criticism is always warranted as nothing ever achieves perfection."

 

\That's funny since their 'fans' criticze their games all the time on their forums.

 

Try criticizing an Obsidian game here. You get attacked by crazy fanboys. This is the worst forum for crazy fanboys defending their home turf and I say though I like Obsidian and mhalf their games. Don't throws stone while living in a glass forum.

 

\P.S. Before you accuse me of being a BIO 'fanboy', I found ME3 oevrrated and I didn't even bother finishing it.

 

BIO's writing is better than majority  of game writing including   lot of Obsidian writing . *cough* AP *cough*

 

You read novels based on video games? HAHAHAHAHA! You hate BIO writing but you bought a novel based on their game? HAHA!@

[Nonek]

I personally think there's quite a lot of reasoned criticism of Obsidian's past games, the bugs in the first few levels of AP, the rather unfinished nature of the Sith Lords, the many flaws that beset NWN2, the camera and controls of DS3 etcetera. I would not try to dismiss any of these, but on the whole i've found their writing to be in general far superior to Bioware's in terms of the quality of prose, internal consistency, plotting, premise and themes. This is of course somewhat subjective.

 

I read anything but didn't actually purchase the books Mr Volourn, I recieved them due to work.

[PrimeJunta]

@Nonek I did actually read the first DA novel. I thought it was kinda cute actually, sweet and childish and enthusiastic, like something written by a clever 13-year-old. I even reviewed it (sort of).

 

(It was a total rip-off of Ivanhoe, though. I'm surprised nobody else seems to have noticed.)

[Nonek]

Now that you mention it some similarities are quite apparent, though without Mr Scott's skill or the depth of the real world setting.

[Leferd]

Didn't initially catch the Ivanhoe parallelisms but certainly whiffs of Empress Matilda and Henry II.

 

I'm curious to see if Avellone's prose can hold up in novella form.

[kirottu]

Man, it would be so awkward if Avellone's book is worse than those Dragon Age books.

[Gromnir]

Man, it would be so awkward if Avellone's book is worse than those Dragon Age books.

no matter how bad chrisA book is, many will say it is better than any bio efforts.

 

no matter how good chrisA book is, many will be dismissive. 

 

am personal not all that concerned. game writing is different than novel writing. quality o' the novella will not impact our criticisms and compliments o' chrisA writing efforts.

 

HA! Good Fun!

[HoonDing]

Dante Alighieri > Goethe > Salvatore > Weiss & Hickman > Gaider > Avellone

[Bryy]

Wait you put Salvatore above Gaider?

[Orogun01]

Mass Effect and BW RPGs in general suffer from both tonal and plot consistency, largely due to their attempt to mimic Josh Whedon team dynamics which are born out of character. The problems arise when they largely ignore their main plot in favor of creating "those" moments where their character shine. To follow with OP example, Mordin in ME3 was a good piece of writing because it was both in character, fitted the situation and moved the plot forward. 

It is very hard to keep consistency across a game story that's divided by bits of gameplay; one of the reasons why I herald Avellone as the best game writer is the he can do this, BW seems to just prefer a stylistic approach rather than an actual plotline. If something happens is for a maximized emotional response rather than service to the story, which when they neglect to establish or bend the plot to fit it in, it comes off as forced.

[ManifestedISO]

Bob A. Salvatore is a cool dude, left-handed, and very personable when he autographed my first-edition The Crystal Shard. Not a 'greater' writer than Weis and Hickman, just different, and still fun. That's what it's all about, having fun in a different universe, and less the dissection of authorial allegory. 

[AGX-17]

Calling Mass Effect a "cRPG" is fundamentally incorrect. It was clearly designed to be a console-oriented game.

 

Besides, writing in video games is writing in video games. It's not like the writing in games of any given genre is something fundamentally different. Running through the village square shouting out your opinions on the crappiness of ME's overall story and its gaping plotholes is a great example of the idiom "beating a dead horse." In this case, you're just smacking a thoroughly liquefied puddle of former-horse.

 

At this point there is no worthwhile reason to start threads to bring up years-old discussions which were exhausted years ago. After all, nihil novi sub sole. It's a virtual certainty that any idea you're eager to express on the subject has already been put forth by more than one person.

Edited August 10, 2014 by AGX-17

[PrimeJunta]

@Orogun01 I agree, except that I'm not sure MCA is so much better than others who know that craft too. Fallout 1 and FO:NV and TES: Morrowind are all extremely good in this respect and he didn't have all that much to do with them. What they have in common is solid, broad, and deep lore, with the writing squarely anchored in it. I also think CD Projekt Red's writing shows a lot of promise; while it has its problems I thought both Witchers hung together much better than most computer games.

[Orogun01]

At least no one has mentioned Bioshock Infinite or Last of Us.

[NWN_babaYaga]

does anyone here know Michael Moor****´s books (Elric) where you have the feeling the author does not know where the story ends because it feels totaly random at times while you read it. It feels so natural and yet so random that is is like reality. In the later bioware stuff it´s more like a script of a streamlined hollywood movie where you have the vip´s and some events and an end and now they try to fill in a story that is action, romance and some "mystery" but all seems to be forced. Like a disney land somehow and dont make someone totaly screw things up because that would be to complex later on.... we need to get to that end you know....and this one has to survive and this and that...bla bla

 

When i think about bioware today i see them on the path becoming an interactive movie studio. 

 

Characters needs to be natural and things can get pretty messy if you write tales that have persons in it who are influental and "realistic".

All this everyone must be a vip bores me to death. It´s like a normal human being cant be something unique or interesting because a personality has to have vip status...

 

In the first alien movie you dont have to much interaction and everything feels natural because the people are just ordinary in their field + their unique personalitys and yet everyone of them support the story 100 % and without a single one it all could have failed to work. Just an example that you dont need vip´s everywhere to create a great story if you can write a good story...not that alien was a monster story but it felt so natural and realistic it was scary!

 

edit: that guy´s name is realy moorc**k! so it is not my fault....

Edited August 10, 2014 by NWN_babaYaga

[sorophx]

this thread has two grand reveals (for me):

1. Sponge Bob is a villain.

2. Bioware is known for the quality of its writing.

 

I only knew post-BG Bioware for their ****ty romances and the fiasco that was NWN

 

anyway, how can you even compare Italian and American writers? different traditions, different languages. you can't make parallels. 

[Zoraptor]

At least no one has mentioned Bioshock Infinite or Last of Us.

 

You just did.

 

Ken Levine at least is a very good writer of the video game class, but you do really have to compare like with like. He has played to his strengths from movie/ TV experience and writes straight linear stories, he doesn't have to weld multiple decisions into a coherent whole- and even with the linearity his story endings have tended to be somewhat underwhelming or off kilter, except maybe Thief. And derivative of one another too, of course.

 

Bioware's only real problem with ME was the lack of a coherent plan, or not sticking to the plan. Plus, as I always say, ME2 did not do the set up job that was required and left far too much for ME3 to do, leading to the dei ex machina.