Last words workshop

[Walsingham]

Working on the assumption that the circumstances of one's last words might not be conducive to creative composition, I thought we might work on our last words in advance.

 

~

 

Given that I am no-longer likely to be killed for a cause or country, I'm currently planning on:

 

"Insert coin to continue?"

[Raithe]

I always liked Voltaire's response when the priest at his deathbed asked him to renounce Satan.

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."

[ManifestedISO]

Whew, coming up with a self-preemptive eulogistic post-script wouldn't be very appropriate for my last day. We middling punters likely will go out in a sputtering blaze of red debt and black regret if the mien holds true. I think I'll be inclined to ask, "This better be a ****ing long nap."     

[Woldan]

System error detected. System shutdown. 

[Sargallath Abraxium]

...hehehe...from our ol' forum runnin' buddy Strider, who wrote mine back in '03, few months 'fore the Isle closed:

 

 

'ere lies Sargy, broken-hearted
all 'is targets long departed
Turnip gone, Volourn vanished
Josh resigned, Mystique was banished.
No one left ter face 'is wit
thank god fer that, 'is wit was sh*t

In mixed memory of a true Forum-Troll. ~ Strider23
 

 

...only 'ave ta switch out a couple o' names an' she still fits...more's the pity...

 

 

...WHO LUVS YA, BABY!!...

[Rosbjerg]

Hmm it would be somewhat fun to make a treasure run beforehand.. and then, when you die go "I buried the treasure at....... " *death*.. Now you've left clues and so they go on this treasure hunt and in the end it's something completly stupid like a hologram of you farting..

[Keyrock]

System error detected. System shutdown. 

In that same vein, I'm going with "Guru Meditation"

[Walsingham]

Hmm it would be somewhat fun to make a treasure run beforehand.. and then, when you die go "I buried the treasure at....... " *death*.. Now you've left clues and so they go on this treasure hunt and in the end it's something completely stupid like a hologram of you farting..

 

I already thought of the idea of having caches with clues dependent on my relatives having paid attention to my bull**** stories for years prior.

Edited August 29, 2013 by Walsingham

[Amentep]

I always admire the classics like "I told you I was ill" or "Either those curtains go or I do".

 

That said, I'd be tempted with an Airplane! quote like "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue..." too.

[Raithe]

I always admire the classics like "I told you I was ill" or "Either those curtains go or I do".

 

 

I think it was Oscar Wilde who did the curtains. Or rather something along the lines of "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go,"

[Guard Dog]

I always thought mine would be either "Are you sure the circuit breaker is off?" or "Hey y'all watch this!"

 

But I'll settle for "What the hell is THAT?"

 

[Raithe]

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"

[Amentep]

"Is that light supposed to be blinking?"

 

"What's the worst that could happen?"

 

"I don't NEED to read the instructions!"

 

Raithe - couldn't find the exact Wilde quote so I had to go on second-hand info.

[Azdeus]

"Aw, not again..."

[Amentep]

Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.

[Rosbjerg]

I loved when it was actually revealed why the bowl of petunias thought that.. it's so cruel haha

[Gorth]

If going out with a bang, the last words are probably going to be "..."

 

If having a few seconds, it's likely to be "Oh....!"

 

If taking way too long, it's likely to be "Are we there yet? How about now?"

 

Humorous exit: "This will work!"

 

On a morbid, yet related note, I've told my relatives to recycle the parts that can be recycled (organ donor), burn the rest and spread the ashes on the sea. The very thought of remaining in one place for a long period of time is just abhorrent to me.

[Raithe]

I'm half surprised no-one has gone with the  "But.. I didn't know she was married.. or her sister..." frame of words..

[Orogun01]

"Yes, that dress does make you look fat"

[Tale]

I had a troubled youth. Where I came from you couldn't go outside without being confronted by drugs. Everything they say about slippery slopes, for me it was absolutely true. Some "harmless" recreational drugs at first, but then that wasn't enough. I started looking for excitement elsewhere. And I needed money to support it. I had to deal, I had to steal, and it got to a point where I didn't know which one I was doing to support which. It all just spiraled out of control and I lost myself.

 

And I absolutely hate this, but it took the death of a friend to straighten me out. He was a good kid. He didn't deserve what happened to him. He was driving to the police station to bail me out one day and he was hit by a drunk driver who was out partying that night. The one guy who tried to help me was killed by someone just like me. And I couldn't handle that. How many people had I hurt who were good like him? I don't even know. I wish I did, I wish I could make it better.

 

But I cleaned up. I made better of my life. And I hope, without a belief in any higher judgement, that I will have caused more good with the time since then than bad before. And even though this may be my last act, I hope it will do more good still. You see, I saved some money I'm not proud of. I dared not use it because I didn't deserve it. But you, the people with me here, I believe in you. I want you to use it to do good. You'll find it BLARGH

[Woldan]

You can take my body, but...*cough*... you can't take my dignity! *loses control of bowel and bladder*  

[Raithe]

"Newton's 1st Law.. A body at rest wants to stay at rest. Now piss off and let me die in peace."

[HoonDing]

Here lies the man whose name was writ in the stone.

[Amentep]

A family of six could take a cue from Burma-Shave:

 

If you

Don't know

Whose signs

These are

You can't have

Driven very far

[Walsingham]

Just thought of another history inspired one:

 

"My only regret is that I have but one life."