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Walsingham

Last words workshop

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Working on the assumption that the circumstances of one's last words might not be conducive to creative composition, I thought we might work on our last words in advance.

 

~

 

Given that I am no-longer likely to be killed for a cause or country, I'm currently planning on:

 

"Insert coin to continue?"

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"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I always liked Voltaire's response when the priest at his deathbed asked him to renounce Satan.

"Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Whew, coming up with a self-preemptive eulogistic post-script wouldn't be very appropriate for my last day. We middling punters likely will go out in a sputtering blaze of red debt and black regret if the mien holds true. I think I'll be inclined to ask, "This better be a ****ing long nap."     

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All Stop. On Screen.

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...hehehe...from our ol' forum runnin' buddy Strider, who wrote mine back in '03, few months 'fore the Isle closed:

 

 

'ere lies Sargy, broken-hearted
all 'is targets long departed
Turnip gone, Volourn vanished
Josh resigned, Mystique was banished.
No one left ter face 'is wit
thank god fer that, 'is wit was sh*t

In mixed memory of a true Forum-Troll.
~ Strider23

 

 

...only 'ave ta switch out a couple o' names an' she still fits...more's the pity...:p

 

 

...WHO LUVS YA, BABY!!...


A long, long time ago, but I can still remember,
How the Trolling used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance, I could egg on a few Trolls to "dance",
And maybe we'd be happy for a while.
But then Krackhead left and so did Klown;
Volo and Turnip were banned, Mystake got run out o' town.
Bad news on the Front Page,
BIOweenia said goodbye in a heated rage.
I can't remember if I cried
When I heard that TORN was recently fried,
But sadness touched me deep inside,
The day...Black Isle died.


For tarna, Visc, an' the rest o' the ol' Islanders that fell along the way

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Hmm it would be somewhat fun to make a treasure run beforehand.. and then, when you die go "I buried the treasure at....... " *death*.. Now you've left clues and so they go on this treasure hunt and in the end it's something completly stupid like a hologram of you farting..


Fortune favors the bald.

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Hmm it would be somewhat fun to make a treasure run beforehand.. and then, when you die go "I buried the treasure at....... " *death*.. Now you've left clues and so they go on this treasure hunt and in the end it's something completely stupid like a hologram of you farting..

 

I already thought of the idea of having caches with clues dependent on my relatives having paid attention to my bull**** stories for years prior.

Edited by Walsingham

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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I always admire the classics like "I told you I was ill" or "Either those curtains go or I do".

 

That said, I'd be tempted with an Airplane! quote like "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue..." too.

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I always admire the classics like "I told you I was ill" or "Either those curtains go or I do".

 

 

I think it was Oscar Wilde who did the curtains. Or rather something along the lines of "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or other of us has got to go,"


"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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I always thought mine would be either "Are you sure the circuit breaker is off?" or "Hey y'all watch this!"

 

But I'll settle for "What the hell is THAT?"

 

:lol:


"I care nothing for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it"

Abraham Lincoln

 

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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"


"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Is that light supposed to be blinking?"

 

"What's the worst that could happen?"

 

"I don't NEED to read the instructions!"

 

Raithe - couldn't find the exact Wilde quote so I had to go on second-hand info.

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"Aw, not again..."

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Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. - H.L. Mencken

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Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.

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I loved when it was actually revealed why the bowl of petunias thought that.. it's so cruel haha

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Fortune favors the bald.

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If going out with a bang, the last words are probably going to be "..."

 

If having a few seconds, it's likely to be "Oh....!"

 

If taking way too long, it's likely to be "Are we there yet? How about now?"

 

Humorous exit: "This will work!"

 

On a morbid, yet related note, I've told my relatives to recycle the parts that can be recycled (organ donor), burn the rest and spread the ashes on the sea. The very thought of remaining in one place for a long period of time is just abhorrent to me.


“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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I'm half surprised no-one has gone with the  "But.. I didn't know she was married.. or her sister..." frame of words..


"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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"Yes, that dress does make you look fat"


I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

village_idiot.gif

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I had a troubled youth. Where I came from you couldn't go outside without being confronted by drugs. Everything they say about slippery slopes, for me it was absolutely true. Some "harmless" recreational drugs at first, but then that wasn't enough. I started looking for excitement elsewhere. And I needed money to support it. I had to deal, I had to steal, and it got to a point where I didn't know which one I was doing to support which. It all just spiraled out of control and I lost myself.

 

And I absolutely hate this, but it took the death of a friend to straighten me out. He was a good kid. He didn't deserve what happened to him. He was driving to the police station to bail me out one day and he was hit by a drunk driver who was out partying that night. The one guy who tried to help me was killed by someone just like me. And I couldn't handle that. How many people had I hurt who were good like him? I don't even know. I wish I did, I wish I could make it better.

 

But I cleaned up. I made better of my life. And I hope, without a belief in any higher judgement, that I will have caused more good with the time since then than bad before. And even though this may be my last act, I hope it will do more good still. You see, I saved some money I'm not proud of. I dared not use it because I didn't deserve it. But you, the people with me here, I believe in you. I want you to use it to do good. You'll find it BLARGH

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"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."

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You can take my body, but...*cough*... you can't take my dignity! *loses control of bowel and bladder*  

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I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

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"Newton's 1st Law.. A body at rest wants to stay at rest. Now piss off and let me die in peace."

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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A family of six could take a cue from Burma-Shave:

 

If you

Don't know

Whose signs

These are

You can't have

Driven very far

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Just thought of another history inspired one:

 

"My only regret is that I have but one life."


"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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