WILL THE ALMIGHTY Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 Is anyone else watching "Unskippable"? The show's a bit hit and miss depending on the game, but the one about Dirge of Cerberus was hilarious. "Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!"
alanschu Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I rarely go past the silly comment he has in the credits unfortunately. Proving that Unskippable is a bad name!!
Pop Posted January 29, 2009 Posted January 29, 2009 I suppose it was just a matter of time before games got the MST3K treatment. Most game cutscenes are pretty dumb. I'm not watching, though. I also really liked this review. I've ****in' hated the GoW / Unreal Tournament character models for as long as they've been out. They're ass-ugly. It's nice there are people out there who agree. Join me, and we shall make Production Beards a reality!
I want teh kotor 3 Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 The Gears 2 one may be my new favorite. I was actually almost louder than my computer. In 7th grade, I teach the students how Chuck Norris took down the Roman Empire, so it is good that you are starting early on this curriculum. R.I.P. KOTOR 2003-2008 KILLED BY THOSE GREEDY MONEY-HOARDING ************* AND THEIR *****-*** MMOS
Kaftan Barlast Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I thought it was one of his least inspired. He's really grasping for straws throughout the review. DISCLAIMER: Do not take what I write seriously unless it is clearly and in no uncertain terms, declared by me to be meant in a serious and non-humoristic manner. If there is no clear indication, asume the post is written in jest. This notification is meant very seriously and its purpouse is to avoid misunderstandings and the consequences thereof. Furthermore; I can not be held accountable for anything I write on these forums since the idea of taking serious responsability for my unserious actions, is an oxymoron in itself. Important: as the following sentence contains many naughty words I warn you not to read it under any circumstances; botty, knickers, wee, erogenous zone, psychiatrist, clitoris, stockings, bosom, poetry reading, dentist, fellatio and the department of agriculture. "I suppose outright stupidity and complete lack of taste could also be considered points of view. "
Nightshape Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I thought it was one of his least inspired. He's really grasping for straws throughout the review. How so? He pretty much hit the nail on the head! I came up with Crate 3.0 technology. Crate 4.0 - we shall just have to wait and see.Down and out on the Solomani RimNow the Spinward Marches don't look so GRIM!
alanschu Posted January 30, 2009 Posted January 30, 2009 I find I do the opposite of Kaftan's point of view, and reap all the awesome rewards of life in doing so!
Deadly_Nightshade Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Little Big Planet "Geez. It's like we lost some sort of bet and ended up saddled with a bunch of terrible new posters on this forum." -Hurlshot
Meshugger Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Meh, LBP just isn't his type of game, i guess. "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy
Slowtrain Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Meh, LBP just isn't his type of game, i guess. WHat do you mean exactly? It is a game that is rated 7+ after all. Notice how I can belittle your beliefs without calling you names. It's a useful skill to have particularly where you aren't allowed to call people names. It's a mistake to get too drawn in/worked up. I mean it's not life or death, it's just two guys posting their thoughts on a message board. If it were personal or face to face all the usual restraints would be in place, and we would never have reached this place in the first place. Try to remember that.
Llyranor Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Maybe that's exactly what Meshuggie meant. (Approved by Fio, so feel free to use it)
Slowtrain Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Maybe that's exactly what Meshuggie meant. I still don't get it. Was the review worse than others he's done of games that weren't Croshaw's type? Such as The Witcher? Notice how I can belittle your beliefs without calling you names. It's a useful skill to have particularly where you aren't allowed to call people names. It's a mistake to get too drawn in/worked up. I mean it's not life or death, it's just two guys posting their thoughts on a message board. If it were personal or face to face all the usual restraints would be in place, and we would never have reached this place in the first place. Try to remember that.
Pop Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 It still blows my mind that non-MMO players aren't bothered by the extraordinary levels of grind in the Witcher. Just not my type of game I guess! Join me, and we shall make Production Beards a reality!
Calax Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Maybe that's exactly what Meshuggie meant. I still don't get it. Was the review worse than others he's done of games that weren't Croshaw's type? Such as The Witcher? He took forever to get to the game review (almost a quarter of the time he has to review it) and then he did several things to fill time because he couldn't find enough to talk about (for example one hideous part had somebody shaking their butt (not like the butt dancers shiver it required alot of movement) with googly eyes glued to each boxer covered cheek). It felt like it was almost phoned in because he couldn't hate it enough. Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.
Slowtrain Posted February 5, 2009 Posted February 5, 2009 Maybe that's exactly what Meshuggie meant. I still don't get it. Was the review worse than others he's done of games that weren't Croshaw's type? Such as The Witcher? He took forever to get to the game review (almost a quarter of the time he has to review it) and then he did several things to fill time because he couldn't find enough to talk about (for example one hideous part had somebody shaking their butt (not like the butt dancers shiver it required alot of movement) with googly eyes glued to each boxer covered cheek). It felt like it was almost phoned in because he couldn't hate it enough. OK. I see that. It was an odd choice for a game to review. I doubt a lot of parents go check out what Yahtzee has to say about a game for their 7 year old. Or maybe they do. The world is a strange place. Notice how I can belittle your beliefs without calling you names. It's a useful skill to have particularly where you aren't allowed to call people names. It's a mistake to get too drawn in/worked up. I mean it's not life or death, it's just two guys posting their thoughts on a message board. If it were personal or face to face all the usual restraints would be in place, and we would never have reached this place in the first place. Try to remember that.
Meshugger Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Meh, LBP just isn't his type of game, i guess. WHat do you mean exactly? It is a game that is rated 7+ after all. I need to clarify this further perhaps; He mentioned that he and the developers of LBP have disagree about how they percieve people. The folks at LBP thinks that, according to him, that everyone is a precious artist, waiting for their creativity to bloom. Yatzee however, think that everyone is a "tosser". This is heavily extrapolated into the game-experience as well. Since they disagree on such a fundamental issue, he can't really rate it or review it properly. He even admits the level-design is really good, but he can't enjoy the game itself. It is simply not his 'type' of game. "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy
Slowtrain Posted February 6, 2009 Posted February 6, 2009 Meh, LBP just isn't his type of game, i guess. WHat do you mean exactly? It is a game that is rated 7+ after all. I need to clarify this further perhaps; He mentioned that he and the developers of LBP have disagree about how they percieve people. The folks at LBP thinks that, according to him, that everyone is a precious artist, waiting for their creativity to bloom. Yatzee however, think that everyone is a "tosser". This is heavily extrapolated into the game-experience as well. Since they disagree on such a fundamental issue, he can't really rate it or review it properly. He even admits the level-design is really good, but he can't enjoy the game itself. It is simply not his 'type' of game. I se ewhat you are saying now, and I agree. My only counter to that is to point out that such has apparently never stopped him before, since every crpg he has reviewed falls into the "not his type of game" category as well. Notice how I can belittle your beliefs without calling you names. It's a useful skill to have particularly where you aren't allowed to call people names. It's a mistake to get too drawn in/worked up. I mean it's not life or death, it's just two guys posting their thoughts on a message board. If it were personal or face to face all the usual restraints would be in place, and we would never have reached this place in the first place. Try to remember that.
Magister Lajciak Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Meh, LBP just isn't his type of game, i guess. WHat do you mean exactly? It is a game that is rated 7+ after all. I need to clarify this further perhaps; He mentioned that he and the developers of LBP have disagree about how they percieve people. The folks at LBP thinks that, according to him, that everyone is a precious artist, waiting for their creativity to bloom. Yatzee however, think that everyone is a "tosser". This is heavily extrapolated into the game-experience as well. Since they disagree on such a fundamental issue, he can't really rate it or review it properly. He even admits the level-design is really good, but he can't enjoy the game itself. It is simply not his 'type' of game. Oh come on, you are lambasting Yahtzee for giving a negative review to a game?!?! That's the whole point of his reviews - to make us laugh by dissing any and every game he reviews!
Musopticon? Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 (edited) It still blows my mind that non-MMO players aren't bothered by the extraordinary levels of grind in the Witcher. Just not my type of game I guess! The grind is optional, so it has never bothered me, I guess. Around the second chapter they start dropping repelling artifacts, so the drowner swarm syndrome is largely cleared by then as well. I agree that completionists will have to face tons of grinding, but the monsters hunt quests are not what makes the game. Not to mention, hardest difficulty makes the only worthwhile hunts, the named trophy hunts, into a minigame of sorts, since you actually need to prepare for each monster and its cronies with the right alchemy, instead of "lol igni spam". I might just be too used to grind to notice how much it detracts from an otherwise cool game thanks to the Gothic series. Now, that's a whole new level of grind there. Exhibits one and two - you have to clear every single animal in both games from their initial areas in order to stand a chance in the next chapter. Unless you are a major stealth freak and know every glitchy ledge area where orcs can't reach you. Then again, the areas actually stay empty. The Witcher respawns the monsters in a couple of hours and it's only saving grace in that regard is that combat areas are clearly labeled as such and can be avoided to an extent. Paying attention to monster behaviour, are they nocturnal or not and where they inhabit, and moving in and near roads and paths avoids a ton of boring combat. Sorry, but I don't get it why our tastes are so different when it comes to Witcher, Pop. I acknowledge the game's problems, but like I can ignore the large amounts of grind Freelancer, for instance, or having to clickatize myself through the soppy soppy every time I play the first chapter in BG2, I mostly phase out the sewer trips or the horrendous swamp parts in Witcher. Edited February 8, 2009 by Musopticon? kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds
Moatilliatta Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 I might just be too used to grind to notice how much it detracts from an otherwise cool game thanks to the Gothic series. Now, that's a whole new level of grind there. Exhibits one and two - you have to clear every single animal in both games from their initial areas in order to stand a chance in the next chapter. Unless you are a major stealth freak and know every glitchy ledge area where orcs can't reach you. Then again, the areas actually stay empty. The Witcher respawns the monsters in a couple of hours and it's only saving grace in that regard is that combat areas are clearly labeled as such and can be avoided to an extent. Paying attention to monster behaviour, are they nocturnal or not and where they inhabit, and moving in and near roads and paths avoids a ton of boring combat. Heh. I'm playing Etrian Odyssey right now and it does surprise me that anyone would describe The Witcher as having grind. Personally I thought the long roads that you had to walk back and forth on many times and relatively boring combat in general as bigger problems, igni spam saved the endgame for me.
Slowtrain Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Pop has always been down on The WItcher, but it's cool. We all have games that for whatever reason just set our teeth on edge and make us wonder what anybody sees in them. I feel exactly the same way about Bioshock as Pop does about The Witcher. Only more so. Notice how I can belittle your beliefs without calling you names. It's a useful skill to have particularly where you aren't allowed to call people names. It's a mistake to get too drawn in/worked up. I mean it's not life or death, it's just two guys posting their thoughts on a message board. If it were personal or face to face all the usual restraints would be in place, and we would never have reached this place in the first place. Try to remember that.
Deraldin Posted February 8, 2009 Posted February 8, 2009 Heh. I'm playing Etrian Odyssey right now... Gah! My save in EO2 is on the 16th floor. My party doesn't have anyone that has any debuff abilities so I just keep getting hammered by the witch and her bodyguard. Grinding levels to get past her is so boring. At least with the FOEs I can usually avoid them and keep going.
Purkake Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 (edited) Yahtzee reviews the Thief series Yay, maybe he will eventually get to isometric RPGs or other cool stuff. EDIT: Also he didn't mention the fires in Australia, so I guess we can presume that he is OK. Edited February 11, 2009 by Purkake
Pidesco Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 I actually think he's better when reviewing older games, perhaps because points of view on older games are a bit more settled. I'd like it if he went on a revisionist spree, and started reviewing all the hailed games of yore. "My hovercraft is full of eels!" - Hungarian touristI am Dan Quayle of the Romans.I want to tattoo a map of the Netherlands on my nether lands.Heja Sverige!!Everyone should cuffawkle more.The wrench is your friend.
Slowtrain Posted February 11, 2009 Posted February 11, 2009 The guy just cracks me up. I spit out my soup a couple times during that. ANyway, its nice to a classic game remembered fondly. Has any other game had rope arrows? Notice how I can belittle your beliefs without calling you names. It's a useful skill to have particularly where you aren't allowed to call people names. It's a mistake to get too drawn in/worked up. I mean it's not life or death, it's just two guys posting their thoughts on a message board. If it were personal or face to face all the usual restraints would be in place, and we would never have reached this place in the first place. Try to remember that.
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