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Important Stretch Goal: Production Beard


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Perhaps some of you who have been around for awhile will remember this man, Mr. Matt MacLean. He was systems lead on Alpha Protocol and did some work on Fallout: New Vegas before taking a much-deserved design lead role on the forthcoming South Park game, a role he is well-suited to.

 

Mr. Matt MacLean was well known around these parts for his luxurious Alpha Protocol Production Beard. What is a Production Beard, you ask? Why, it's a Beard, grown during Production of a game such as this one. The Beard owner must abstain from shaving from the time of the game's announcement, until the day it ships, in order to have a certified Production Beard. Such Beards are imbued with mysterious power and good luck, and are crucial to the successful completion of a project.

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The reason for this topic is obvious: Project Eternity must have its very own Production Beard. But who shall bear the burden of such a crucial mission?

 

It is my belief that, when grafted to the sturdy bones of the Kickstarter drive, the answer will present itself to us. We shall let the fans, the fundraisers, decide. But why just have one? There is such potential in this team for Beards. Clearly, our scheme shall be additive in nature, and not only that, it shall display the diversity of human facial styles. What do I mean? Consider this proposal:

 

$1.6 million: At the reaching of this goal, Josh "JE" Sawyer will adopt an official Production Beard in the traditional "bushy" style. All other hair choices are his to make, except this one.

 

$1.8 million: Adam Brenneke adopts the dynamic and beguiling "soul patch".

 

$2.0 million: Chris Avellone adopts the dashing "musketeer".

 

$2.2 million: Tim Cain, who has traditionally worn a beard, shall remain clean-shaven for the entirety of the project.

 

$2.4 million: Feargus Urquhart will do the unthinkable and attempt what no one has ever attempted - the mythical "John Waters".

 

Won't you join me in imploring our noble beneficiaries to do what is right and necessary for their project and for us, the consumer? Join with me, and we will make a bunch of men look very strange, for an indeterminate period of time.

Edited by Pop
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What about production bathing? One team member should not bathe the entire period the game gets made, so that he would not wash the luck away. This will also guarantee that the project will not get delayed or that it will even be released earlier.

Edited by l3loodangel
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Alvin will be our hero. May your beard shed light upon the path to success!

Edited by Gurkog
Grandiose statements, cryptic warnings, blind fanboyisim and an opinion that leaves no room for argument and will never be dissuaded. Welcome to the forums, you'll go far in this place my boy, you'll go far!

 

The people who are a part of the "Fallout Community" have been refined and distilled over time into glittering gems of hatred.
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