What You've Done Today - But you… have elected… the way of… pain!

[Amentep]

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On 7/22/2021 at 6:23 AM, Azdeus said:

Well, I was told to keep working and stuff like that, so either she didn't understand the words coming out of my mouth or she's under pressure from the government to not put anyone on sickleave under any circumstances.

Jogging is really not an option, like ever, I can skate, ice or inlines, or skii but I've never actually jogged or ran my entire life Walking is definetly not for me though, that one is most definetly off the table.

 

On 7/22/2021 at 6:33 AM, Azdeus said:

Also ättestupet right next to the walking path is too much of a temptation

 

On 7/22/2021 at 6:33 AM, majestic said:

If I were a Bond villain and had a button to make the world go away I'd probably press it right now.

 

On 7/22/2021 at 6:37 AM, Azdeus said:

Humanity is slamming that button hard though, so it'll fix itself soonish

 

[Guard Dog]

The GD soap opera (as the cheese turns)… final episode

 

I got home from WI last night. I think it’s safe to say we’re doing really good so far. Especially since we just spent six days (SIX!) with each other. That is the dating equivalent to running a decathlon! I drove up early Monday and got to her place just before 6 PM. Well, first I stopped in West Salem and rented a hotel room. If for no other reason just so I could take a shower and change. Best sixty bucks I’ve ever spent. After over 11 hours driving I was beat and that recharged me. I hadn’t seen her house yet and it’s nice. She’s renting a small house a little ways out in the sticks. She had made a really nice dinner and our “first night” together was just perfect. Afterwards we stayed up talking until almost sunrise. It’s amazing we hadn’t run out of things to say to each other since we’ve spoken almost every day and even a few times while I was on the road up. Conversation with her is just so easy.

 

The next day she had some rounds to make and I asked if I could come with and help. That was very cool. She is just a natural with animals. She told me she can relate better to animals than to people. That is something I can COMPLETEY understand. That night we went to LaCrosse and I took her and her daughter (her name IS Brie but she spells it Bri) out to dinner at this cool place called “Huck Finn’s on the Water”. So all through dinner this girl (she’s 20, college student) is staring at me like she was trying to bore through stone. G goes to the rest room and B pounces the moment she was gone. It was a short but memorable conversation that ended with “if you break my mother’s heart I will hunt you down!”. I have to tell you I respected her for that. Never had a conversation quite like that one, but I respected her for it. She is tough. A lot like her mother as it turned out.

 

After we got back to her place we were sitting on the porch talking and she asked me what B said. I laughed and told her. She laughed but that was the segue into the first of several serious conversations we had last week. This was really the elephant in the room for her. She was divorced, I’m divorced twice. She wanted to know what happened. She wanted me to know what happened to her. I told her everything. Neither story was all that interesting if you ask me but she wanted to know every detail. I think she really wanted to know if I was still in touch with either of them. I told her the truth, that I had just broken three years of no contact with Steph but we’d only spoken once. I assured her there was no chance in hell of reconciling. I think continued contact with Steph would be a dealbreaker with her. Definitely something to think about since I have no feelings for Steph whatsoever. If casual conversation with her comes with a price it’s definitely not one I’d want to pay.

 

Then she told me all of her story. Jesus. No matter how bad your s—t was I promise you there is someone who had it worse. A lot worse. He was B’s father and G’s only long term relationship in life. This f----g guy was just evil. I can’t imagine a better word to describe someone who spent 20 years putting them through what he did. Infidelity and emotional abuse and sometimes physical. The broken marriage trifecta. It sounds like he was a high functioning alcoholic. She said one of the things that attracted her to me was that I didn’t drink booze in any form. Anyway it had been five years since their divorce. The guy literally ghosted her after she had him served with a RO. He took all the money from their joint accounts and disappeared. He left them literally penniless. At the time B was only 13 and G was a 1/3 owner of the Vet practice she was working in. She had to sell their house and her stake in the practice just to cover the costs of the divorce, debts, and provide a basic living for her and B. Since the guy disappeared it took years and thousands of dollars to finalize. Finally he turned up, signed the papers and it was all over. Both her and B attended therapy for a long time to get over that. The next five years she dedicated to being B’s mom and trying to rebuild their lives. They are very close and both are amazingly resilient and tough. And both of these amazing ladies have serious battle scars on their hearts.  I am always amazed at people’s capacity for cruelty to other people. Especially someone they had to have loved even a little.

 

Anyway, some time after that she is sitting next to me on the couch, leaning her head on my shoulder, and said that she had never had or even considered another serious relationship since. Then she looks me in the eye and asked if that is what we have, a serious relationship? Now…. Here it the problem. And if anyone has any advice after the fact please speak up. I’ve already decided I’m crazy about her. If fact I was completely sure I was falling in love with her. But that male part of the brain is telling me not to rush in, to play it cool. Show a little but not too much so heart and brain were not on speaking terms at the moment. Annnd I froze. Words failed me and I said something lame. Ugh. I really thought I blew my chance right there. But… the next day I recovered. The first “I love you’s” were exchanged. LOL I think I was more relieved than happy!

 

The rest of the week we just enjoyed each other’s company. We drove over to Sparta and double dated with my cousin and her husband. She (cousin) is overjoyed with how things are going. We went horseback riding on one of the equestrian trails in a park near town. G told me she had always been attracted to the “cowboy” outdoorsy type. I had told her I had half of that. I could expertly handle a revolver and my outdoorsman cred was unimpeachable… but I was no cowboy. A horse named Dottie certainly exposed THAT! I had no idea how to ride a horse and the horse knew it. The power in that relationship was definitely under the saddle not on top of it. But it was a lot of fun.

 

Sunday came all too soon. I have some work to do on some of my properties this week so I had to come back yesterday. We talked about when we’d see each other again and it looks like it will be two weeks (a freaking eternity if you ask me) before she has a gap in her schedule. I told her I wanted her to come down and stay with me next time. I’d like her to see my place and let me treat her to a good time. She’s never been to Memphis. I got the sense the drive is off-putting for her. Can’t blame her there. It does suck. So this morning I got up early and bought a ticket on Delta from LaCrosse to Memphis, open ended, for two weeks from now. I put the ticket into a card I had bought for her and signed it with a quote from one of her favorite writers. I won’t say which or what it was because if you have gotten this far into the story and don’t think I’m already a total sap I don’t want to push you over. But I think she will like it. I put the card in the kitchen in front of the coffee maker so she will find it after I’d left. We shared a passionate goodbye kiss and I drove home. That was 24 hours ago and I already miss her. But she is coming here soon.

 

Last night we were talking about the circumstances of our first meeting. She was actually supposed to visit Amy & Mark (cousin & husband) the day before we met. If she had, I would have been five hours north on the road from Bayfield. I told her how I came to be there and how Sunny’s passing had affected me. She knew I had recently lost my dog but not the details. When I want to get away I usually go to the Gulf Coast and go fishing. But because of Hurricane Ida I couldn’t. So I drove north with no particular destination and somehow ended up right where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there. It’s funny how the stars align. She said this was meant to be. Maybe it is, or maybe our luck is changing. 

 

Anyway, that is the third gargantuan ramble I’ve dropped on you guys. Three too many probably. It’s not the end of the story but it is the end of the beginning. If you have been reading I certainly appreciate you. If it’s TLDR I certainly don’t blame you. And if you have any advice on how I can avoid f—king this up please speak up!

[Raithe]

Up in the wee small hours of the morning. Dad back and forth to hospital with a potential (now confirmed) blood clot in his thigh, so now his next session of chemo is delayed a week or two.

Ending up spending chunks of the morning wait doing petty admin for all the job hunt thing. The fun and games of alerts and agencies, and updating CVs, and trying to make "professional use" of LinkedIn.

Not helped by the incredibly dreary grey rainy Monday.

Trying to pull some mojo together so I can figure out the engineering of strapping my armour.  It would be easy to strap it for wear. Strapping it in a way that allows you to comfortably wear it, and also dismantle it to pack into luggage to transport in a safe and secure manner is another matter...

I have nylon strapping, elastic strapping, hot glue, fabric glues, two part epoxies, clips, snaps, and spacers!

This is why you need a regular supply of mojo oomph.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

45 minutes ago, Guard Dog said:

I won’t say which or what it was because if you have gotten this far into the story and don’t think I’m already a total sap I don’t want to push you over.

Don't be a coward.

[Azdeus]

@Gfted1 No, not really from what I understand, though she didn't go into a whole lot of detail. The physical therapy is just to strengthen the other tendons around I suppose.

@Raithe You could look into hockey equipment I think. Either online, but it'd be better to go to a shop and look at it. The hockey gear I had never bothered me, even during really long training days while on hockey camp.

@Guard Dog That was a really amazing read

[ShadySands]

Second night in a hospital but at least tonight isn't the ICU or PICU in my son's case. 

[Azdeus]

5 minutes ago, ShadySands said:

Second night in a hospital but at least tonight isn't the ICU or PICU in my son's case. 

Is he okay?

Edited October 4, 2021 by Azdeus

[Gfted1]

Are both of you ill?

[Guard Dog]

6 minutes ago, ShadySands said:

Second night in a hospital but at least tonight isn't the ICU or PICU in my son's case. 

Oh no what happened?

[ShadySands]

My son had some trouble breathing so we took him to urgent care who didn't like what they were seeing so they sent him to the nearest children's hospital via ambulance. That hospital doesn't have an ICU so then they got another ambulance to take him to the main children's hospital across town. Spent the first night in the PICU connected to all the tubes and machines that go ping.  Last night we got transferred up to a regular room. Less tubes and less ping.  He might be able to go home tonight but most likely tomorrow.

[Guard Dog]

5 minutes ago, ShadySands said:

My son had some trouble breathing so we took him to urgent care who didn't like what they were seeing so they sent him to the nearest children's hospital via ambulance. That hospital doesn't have an ICU so then they got another ambulance to take him to the main children's hospital across town. Spent the first night in the PICU connected to all the tubes and machines that go ping.  Last night we got transferred up to a regular room. Less tubes and less ping.  He might be able to go home tonight but most likely tomorrow.

Asthma? Allergy?Not COVID I assume or they would not be releasing him. I’m praying for your little guy and you & Mrs. Shady too.

[BruceVC]

2 hours ago, Guard Dog said:

The GD soap opera (as the cheese turns)… final episode

 

I got home from WI last night. I think it’s safe to say we’re doing really good so far. Especially since we just spent six days (SIX!) with each other. That is the dating equivalent to running a decathlon! I drove up early Monday and got to her place just before 6 PM. Well, first I stopped in West Salem and rented a hotel room. If for no other reason just so I could take a shower and change. Best sixty bucks I’ve ever spent. After over 11 hours driving I was beat and that recharged me. I hadn’t seen her house yet and it’s nice. She’s renting a small house a little ways out in the sticks. She had made a really nice dinner and our “first night” together was just perfect. Afterwards we stayed up talking until almost sunrise. It’s amazing we hadn’t run out of things to say to each other since we’ve spoken almost every day and even a few times while I was on the road up. Conversation with her is just so easy.

 

The next day she had some rounds to make and I asked if I could come with and help. That was very cool. She is just a natural with animals. She told me she can relate better to animals than to people. That is something I can COMPLETEY understand. That night we went to LaCrosse and I took her and her daughter (her name IS Brie but she spells it Bri) out to dinner at this cool place called “Huck Finn’s on the Water”. So all through dinner this girl (she’s 20, college student) is staring at me like she was trying to bore through stone. G goes to the rest room and B pounces the moment she was gone. It was a short but memorable conversation that ended with “if you break my mother’s heart I will hunt you down!”. I have to tell you I respected her for that. Never had a conversation quite like that one, but I respected her for it. She is tough. A lot like her mother as it turned out.

 

After we got back to her place we were sitting on the porch talking and she asked me what B said. I laughed and told her. She laughed but that was the segue into the first of several serious conversations we had last week. This was really the elephant in the room for her. She was divorced, I’m divorced twice. She wanted to know what happened. She wanted me to know what happened to her. I told her everything. Neither story was all that interesting if you ask me but she wanted to know every detail. I think she really wanted to know if I was still in touch with either of them. I told her the truth, that I had just broken three years of no contact with Steph but we’d only spoken once. I assured her there was no chance in hell of reconciling. I think continued contact with Steph would be a dealbreaker with her. Definitely something to think about since I have no feelings for Steph whatsoever. If casual conversation with her comes with a price it’s definitely not one I’d want to pay.

 

Then she told me all of her story. Jesus. No matter how bad your s—t was I promise you there is someone who had it worse. A lot worse. He was B’s father and G’s only long term relationship in life. This f----g guy was just evil. I can’t imagine a better word to describe someone who spent 20 years putting them through what he did. Infidelity and emotional abuse and sometimes physical. The broken marriage trifecta. It sounds like he was a high functioning alcoholic. She said one of the things that attracted her to me was that I didn’t drink booze in any form. Anyway it had been five years since their divorce. The guy literally ghosted her after she had him served with a RO. He took all the money from their joint accounts and disappeared. He left them literally penniless. At the time B was only 13 and G was a 1/3 owner of the Vet practice she was working in. She had to sell their house and her stake in the practice just to cover the costs of the divorce, debts, and provide a basic living for her and B. Since the guy disappeared it took years and thousands of dollars to finalize. Finally he turned up, signed the papers and it was all over. Both her and B attended therapy for a long time to get over that. The next five years she dedicated to being B’s mom and trying to rebuild their lives. They are very close and both are amazingly resilient and tough. And both of these amazing ladies have serious battle scars on their hearts.  I am always amazed at people’s capacity for cruelty to other people. Especially someone they had to have loved even a little.

 

Anyway, some time after that she is sitting next to me on the couch, leaning her head on my shoulder, and said that she had never had or even considered another serious relationship since. Then she looks me in the eye and asked if that is what we have, a serious relationship? Now…. Here it the problem. And if anyone has any advice after the fact please speak up. I’ve already decided I’m crazy about her. If fact I was completely sure I was falling in love with her. But that male part of the brain is telling me not to rush in, to play it cool. Show a little but not too much so heart and brain were not on speaking terms at the moment. Annnd I froze. Words failed me and I said something lame. Ugh. I really thought I blew my chance right there. But… the next day I recovered. The first “I love you’s” were exchanged. LOL I think I was more relieved than happy!

 

The rest of the week we just enjoyed each other’s company. We drove over to Sparta and double dated with my cousin and her husband. She (cousin) is overjoyed with how things are going. We went horseback riding on one of the equestrian trails in a park near town. G told me she had always been attracted to the “cowboy” outdoorsy type. I had told her I had half of that. I could expertly handle a revolver and my outdoorsman cred was unimpeachable… but I was no cowboy. A horse named Dottie certainly exposed THAT! I had no idea how to ride a horse and the horse knew it. The power in that relationship was definitely under the saddle not on top of it. But it was a lot of fun.

 

Sunday came all too soon. I have some work to do on some of my properties this week so I had to come back yesterday. We talked about when we’d see each other again and it looks like it will be two weeks (a freaking eternity if you ask me) before she has a gap in her schedule. I told her I wanted her to come down and stay with me next time. I’d like her to see my place and let me treat her to a good time. She’s never been to Memphis. I got the sense the drive is off-putting for her. Can’t blame her there. It does suck. So this morning I got up early and bought a ticket on Delta from LaCrosse to Memphis, open ended, for two weeks from now. I put the ticket into a card I had bought for her and signed it with a quote from one of her favorite writers. I won’t say which or what it was because if you have gotten this far into the story and don’t think I’m already a total sap I don’t want to push you over. But I think she will like it. I put the card in the kitchen in front of the coffee maker so she will find it after I’d left. We shared a passionate goodbye kiss and I drove home. That was 24 hours ago and I already miss her. But she is coming here soon.

 

Last night we were talking about the circumstances of our first meeting. She was actually supposed to visit Amy & Mark (cousin & husband) the day before we met. If she had, I would have been five hours north on the road from Bayfield. I told her how I came to be there and how Sunny’s passing had affected me. She knew I had recently lost my dog but not the details. When I want to get away I usually go to the Gulf Coast and go fishing. But because of Hurricane Ida I couldn’t. So I drove north with no particular destination and somehow ended up right where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there. It’s funny how the stars align. She said this was meant to be. Maybe it is, or maybe our luck is changing. 

 

Anyway, that is the third gargantuan ramble I’ve dropped on you guys. Three too many probably. It’s not the end of the story but it is the end of the beginning. If you have been reading I certainly appreciate you. If it’s TLDR I certainly don’t blame you. And if you have any advice on how I can avoid f—king this up please speak up!

This relationship is going exceptionally well  and its rare to also find someone where things like conversation are easy and then she also likes animals ....and we both know that does matter to you

I do think its going faster than I thought but you guys are with fine with that so no  need to be overly cautious 

And then she clearly feels very comfortable with you and wanted to see how you would  process her divorce with all its details. Not everyone would mention every detail but she feels she can with you and you are  someone who understands the vicissitudes of life and marriage so that would have been another positive trait she thinks of you

Hence she felt she could ask the " serious relationship"......and well done for recovering and saying the right words the next day. You can ignore the male brain caution because that is not necessary under these circumstances  and I really think you are doing the right thing because she is sharing personal things with you and that matters

Your cousin sounds really sweet, what a brilliant idea to match make and she got it right. 

Great story and well done for how things are going, you not someone who just dates women on a whim so if you think how well this is going this is something to believe in and pursue. Oh it sounds like the daughter likes you, try to keep the same good relationship because they do matter in then long term 

Next update keep all the details and the same length as you can never have enough feedback when you update us  

Do you know what is amazing, think back to that post when you told us you going off the radar and you  understandably depressed. Would you ever thought that several weeks\months later you would be so happy....life can be full of such unexpected surprises and sometimes you cannot predict when they will happen 

 

[ShadySands]

They think he's got something like asthma but the specialist doesn't think it's asthma but I forgot what she called it. He's got 2 separate respiratory viruses but I don't remember which ones either, I blame a lack of sleep.

[BruceVC]

16 minutes ago, ShadySands said:

They think he's got something like asthma but the specialist doesn't think it's asthma but I forgot what she called it. He's got 2 separate respiratory viruses but I don't remember which ones either, I blame a lack of sleep.

Sorry to hear, what are the next steps?

[Azdeus]

46 minutes ago, ShadySands said:

They think he's got something like asthma but the specialist doesn't think it's asthma but I forgot what she called it. He's got 2 separate respiratory viruses but I don't remember which ones either, I blame a lack of sleep.

I know that we have had alot of problems here  with respiratory cyncytial virus.

Anyway, I'm hoping he gets a speedy recovery!

[Guard Dog]

2 hours ago, BruceVC said:

This relationship is going exceptionally well  and its rare to also find someone where things like conversation are easy and then she also likes animals ....and we both know that does matter to you

I do think its going faster than I thought but you guys are with fine with that so no  need to be overly cautious 

And then she clearly feels very comfortable with you and wanted to see how you would  process her divorce with all its details. Not everyone would mention every detail but she feels she can with you and you are  someone who understands the vicissitudes of life and marriage so that would have been another positive trait she thinks of you

Hence she felt she could ask the " serious relationship"......and well done for recovering and saying the right words the next day. You can ignore the male brain caution because that is not necessary under these circumstances  and I really think you are doing the right thing because she is sharing personal things with you and that matters

Your cousin sounds really sweet, what a brilliant idea to match make and she got it right. 

Great story and well done for how things are going, you not someone who just dates women on a whim so if you think how well this is going this is something to believe in and pursue. Oh it sounds like the daughter likes you, try to keep the same good relationship because they do matter in then long term 

Next update keep all the details and the same length as you can never have enough feedback when you update us  

Do you know what is amazing, think back to that post when you told us you going off the radar and you  understandably depressed. Would you ever thought that several weeks\months later you would be so happy....life can be full of such unexpected surprises and sometimes you cannot predict when they will happen 

 

It’s funny you mention that. I asked her if she thought things were moving too fast. But she said we’re not making life decisions together. We’re just spending time with each other. And that’s true. It bothers me that it’s a long distance relationship. Those are usually doomed. Her life is there and my life is here. I don’t know how those two can be brought together. But I think it’s probably too early to worry about that. Those are problems for later. Maybe it will just work itself out on its own. For now I just thoroughly enjoy spending time with her and I think she feels the same. So we’ll just focus on that. 
 

In other news one of the lots I put up for sale got an offer. It’s a little bit under the asking price and the realtor advised me to counter or decline. I thought about it on the drive home yesterday. It’s not what I was hoping to get but it is more than enough for my share of the seed capital of a business venture I’m interested in. So I called him a little while ago and told him if the buyer is qualified to accept. That’s probably taking him off because he’s considering his commission LOL. Well, will play hardball on the other one. Right now I just need the cash.

[Gfted1]

Well you already dropped the L-bomb so theres no going back now.

[ShadySands]

20 minutes ago, Guard Dog said:

It bothers me that it’s a long distance relationship. Those are usually doomed. Her life is there and my life is here. I don’t know how those two can be brought together. But I think it’s probably too early to worry about that. Those are problems for later. Maybe it will just work itself out on its own. For now I just thoroughly enjoy spending time with her and I think she feels the same. So we’ll just focus on that. 

Been there and three months later I was half way across the country.

Not a single letter

 

[melkathi]

6 hours ago, Guard Dog said:

I put the ticket into a card I had bought for her and signed it with a quote from one of her favorite writers. I won’t say which or what it was because if you have gotten this far into the story and don’t think I’m already a total sap I don’t want to push you over. But I think she will like it.

Meanwhile, somewhere in WI, a certain veterinarian reads a card that says in meticulous cursive script:

"All my base are belong to you."

[majestic]

13 minutes ago, melkathi said:

Meanwhile, somewhere in WI, a certain veterinarian reads a card that says in meticulous cursive script:

"All my base are belong to you."

It's fairly clear that somebody set up them the... uhm, initial date.

[Hurlshort]

36 minutes ago, Guard Dog said:

Her life is there and my life is here. I don’t know how those two can be brought together. But I think it’s probably too early to worry about that. Those are problems for later. Maybe it will just work itself out on its own. For now I just thoroughly enjoy spending time with her and I think she feels the same. So we’ll just focus on that. 

I know I poked fun at the Wisconsin winter, but if you do get to the next stage, I'd say it is a pretty easy call that you need to go to her. She has family. As amazing as your property is and I've loved hearing about your work on it over the years, it is still just property. You can rebuild. 

Just my 2 cents. I followed my wife back to her home and I know it was the right choice for me.

[Malcador]

6 hours ago, Guard Dog said:

I put the ticket into a card I had bought for her and signed it with a quote from one of her favorite writers. I won’t say which or what it was because if you have gotten this far into the story and don’t think I’m already a total sap I don’t want to push you over.

It's Ayn Rand, isn't it ?

[ShadySands]

1 hour ago, BruceVC said:

Sorry to hear, what are the next steps?

And now we wait

[Guard Dog]

7 minutes ago, ShadySands said:

And now we wait

Are you home? Is he home? Is he still improving?

[Hurlshort]

6 minutes ago, ShadySands said:

And now we wait

Sorry Shady. We were in the NICU for about a week with our son, and it is a terrible sort of holding pattern on life. But it is amazing what they are able to do in hospitals today, and it sounds like he is on the right trajectory.