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WarCraft movie is getting slaughtered by critics


ktchong

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Direct link to its Rotten Tomatoes page.

 

We all know this is coming.  I  played and loved the RTS games.  They were good games, but I also knew they had stupid stories, silly plots, and inconsistent and muddy character motivations.  As the bad reviews are coming in, Blizzard fanboys are becoming delusional and mightily butthurt, and joining DC crybabies and Snyder apologists in their collective delusion and dissociation from the reality.   So why will they blame for paying critics to give bad reviews to the WarCraft movie? Disney? Electronic Arts?  My pants are already down to my knees. I am ready to jerk off  at the onslaught of all the bad reviews for the WarCraft movie. The salty tears of all the Blizzard fanboys will nourish and rejuvenate me.

Edited by ktchong
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Did you forget to take your pills today?

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"To be fair, if I was married to Milla Jovovich, I would also be happy just making movies that show off her butt." - Hurlsnot

"I originally just wanted to ignore this, but I can't sleep, so why not." - majestic

"I murdered my entire family as well as the police and priests investigating me for murdering my entire family in the name of Satan. Good times." - Bartimaeus

"I will undoubtedly cave and buy this since Nintendo has me by the balls with Shin Megami Tensei V." - Keyrock

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I probably watch it and lol about it. Also just checked the trailer again and lol @ the bad music again. What is it with trailers and their bad music recently?

"only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die."

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I'm not a Blizzard fanboy, never have been, so I have no interest in this movie, since Warcraft lore means nothing to me.  With that out of the way, for disclaimer purposes, I thought the trailer was awful.  Never mind the fact that the dialogue in the trailer was cringeworthy, the female orc was nothing more than a woman painted green with hilariously bad plastic fangs (seriously, even a tiny bit of effort would be appreciated), and no effects I saw impessed me in even the slightest.  I mean, I expected garbage acting and delivery, but I was hoping for at least cool effects and action, but, judging by the trailer, those are garbage too.

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breen_tuna.gif.f209371d450243737d37ca9251849aff.gif

 

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There are 5 reviews so far, so I wouldn't exactly call it a slaughter...yet.  But honestly I don't think you need (or expect) a bunch of rave reviews to make this worth watching.  If it is an entertaining adventure that pays tribute to a pretty geeky property, it will make audiences happy.

 

Angry Birds is the bigger surprise.  Might be the most successful video game movie ever.

 

Edit:  I read the Variety review.  The writer makes a big deal about the fact that WoW has declined from 10 million subs to 5 million subs, as if that is a knock on the property.  It's a 10 year old game with 5 million subs, that is basically the most successful game lifespan ever.  It was hard to take them seriously after that.  I can see the movie sucking, or being too niche, but lets not lead with a dumb argument about the game's success.

Edited by Hurlshot
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The Street Fighter movie was excellent though, perhaps it's better not to bury your actors under prosthetics and an inch of makeup. But then, being compared unfavourably with Battlefield Earth....

 

For what it's worth, I've been on-again-off-again WoW player and play no other Blizzard games. I'm not the slightest bit interested in the movie, but then I generally dislike their attempts at "storytelling" in that game. (And knowing what I know about the other games, not a fan of their approach at all)

L I E S T R O N G
L I V E W R O N G

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Charming as always OP.

 

This is not unexpected, but does make me sad. 

I used to love reading through the old War 2 manual... the original story & lore is good stuff.

 

Judging by what the reviewers are saying, they tried to cover too many characters and threw in a cheesy love story to boot. 

These guys need to stop drooling over the CG and just get back to basic storytelling 101.

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There are 5 reviews so far, so I wouldn't exactly call it a slaughter...yet. 

 

Other reviews - most of them are overwhelmingly bad - are already out; they just have not been added to Rotten Tomatoes yet.

Edited by ktchong
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Do people still pay attention to reviews? There always seems to be a big gap between what reviewers think and what audiences think.

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The area between the balls and the butt is a hotbed of terrorist activity.

Devastatorsig.jpg

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I'll definitely give it a go in one digital way or another, since I haven't played WoW much at all (I tried it for free, once, and it seemed to be quite decent for being a MMORPG, but out-dated), so I'll view it like some freshening up on my Azeroth lore and all that. It will be fun in more ways than one, I suspect. :)

*** "The words of someone who feels ever more the ent among saplings when playing CRPGs" ***

 

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Did you forget to take your pills today?

If he did he should probably break them in half tomorrow! :lol:

"If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men"

- St. Francis of Assisi

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I'm surprised they didn't get Uwe Boll to direct it :-

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“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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Hope they do Wc2 and they alter the ending to show crucified orcs after the Dark Portal battle.

 

 

I paid to see xXx, will have to pay for this

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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I'm not a Blizzard fanboy, never have been, so I have no interest in this movie, since Warcraft lore means nothing to me.

 

I've never played a Warcraft game. My primary interest is that Duncan Jones, director of MOON and SOURCE CODE directed it and I liked both of those films. 

 

the female orc was nothing more than a woman painted green

 

I think you mean "the female half-orc, half-draenei was nothing more than a woman whose skin tone was made green through computer effects". Because if you look at the behind the scenes footage, you'll see Paula Patton wasn't painted green for the role of Garona Halforcen, but it was achieved digitally.

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https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/may/25/world-of-warcraft-the-beginning-review-end-already-nigh?CMP=fb_gu

 

The prospect of a predominantly white, European realm being invaded by foreign, primitive, darker skinned hordes (they are actually called the Horde) might set alarm bells ringing in our current climate of immigration anxiety. Is this a veiled Ukip broadcast? Or a pro-Trump one?

:lol:

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Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

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