Female gamers having a hard time in gaming communites

[IndiraLightfoot]

Nonek requested a special topic for this important issue, sparked by a discussion about a female only group in Star Citizen and something of a forum scandal over there, as it were.

 

The game dev Ben Lesnick wrote this recently on this very issue:

"On the greater subject of women in the Star Citizen universe, the answer is that yes we should go out of our way to create a safe space for them. Women online, and especially women in gaming, have it very, very tough in ways that men absolutely do not understand. This isn’t an argument for the community to have, it’s a fact. Our moderators (and game designers and programmers and everyone else involved in Star Citizen) should do everything possible to create a safe environment, not encourage typical internet knife-fighting in this regard.

Men don’t have to deal with this sort of thing, and it’s so systemic. For years I was part of a community that simply didn't have women. At first I thought it was because space sims didn’t appeal to women… but I came to understand it was because of how immature the average forum user was towards them. It broke my heart hearing from women who loved fighting aliens but who had to pretend to be men in order to even talk to anyone about it, lest their PM inboxes fill up with come-ons and their social networking get invaded with awful dudes.

Let me give you an example from right here at the RSI forums that will maybe resonate: a few days ago our lead moderator’s girlfriend posted a ‘welcome’ thread and he replied welcoming her to the forums. Another user then responded with a picture of the two of them together (as on ‘but you guys know each other!’) My immediate reaction was that was pretty funny that William got shown up. Later that night, though, I realized: that picture was discovered in the first place because someone saw a female username posting about Star Citizen and had to Google it for pictures. And that sucks.

Obviously I don’t know how to fix any of that, but I’d love to start talking about it here instead of pretending it isn’t a problem."

 

I agree with most of what he's summarizing here. The situation for female gamers on forums can be pretty horrible at times. However, I didn't agree with BruceVC that the solution is to make female only groups, neither in-game nor in forums, as I find that counterproductive and harmful in the long run to a more open and liberal society that I'd love to see more or more enhanced as time goes by.
 

Edited May 7, 2014 by IndiraLightfoot

[Malcador]

Gee, way to go Nonek!

[Nonek]

Sorry.

 

Edit: In general I agree with Ms Lightfoot however, isolation and preferential treatment do not create a harmonious melange. If there are womens group then for parities sake there should be a simlar group for the other gender, though personally I would say both are harmful to creating a successful mixed virtual society.

Edited May 7, 2014 by Nonek

[BruceVC]

Gee, way to go Nonek!

 

Yeah well done Nonek, I need to give  you  some credit here

 

My view on this topic is obvious I think, here is a link to previous comments

 

http://forums.obsidian.net/topic/66113-random-video-game-news/page-9

Edited May 7, 2014 by BruceVC

[Gfted1]

Gee, way to go Nonek!

On the bright side, I will be able to continue my mental exercise of counting how many times he will refer to himself in third person as "one".

 

Seriously though, all races, creeds, religions and sexual preferences (except white males) should be allowed to form their own special groups just so they will leave everyone else the hell alone.

[IndiraLightfoot]

To me, it's very important that men, women, whatever gender, whatever social grouping, all engage in activities together. If there are elements behaving like jerks against individuals or groups based on their social identity they should be reprimanded by the system that upholds the social order of things. The solution is not separate pens for separate groups. I don't like stereotypic herding of that kind.

[Nonek]

 

Gee, way to go Nonek!

On the bright side, I will be able to continue my mental exercise of counting how many times he will refer to himself in third person as "one".

 

Seriously though, all races, creeds, religions and sexual preferences (except white males) should be allowed to form their own special groups just so they will leave everyone else the hell alone.

 

 

One has a fifty percent grasp of binary.

[Malcador]

I just read all his posts in Rutger's voice.   Ideally you'd want everyone to be not too nasty to one another (I am weird and enjoy strife and disdain on a forum, keeps it fun).  Am not sure if having enclaves really helps matters as you'll be always one of 'them' and get treated as such - case in point in SC, Goons. 

 

Then again am not big on this 'gaming community' type of thing.

[Drowsy Emperor]

Good moderation, reporting abuse in channels/private messages. Banning and good control of user accounts (so that they actually stand to lose something with a ban)

 

/problem solved

 

Being abused and spammed just because you're female is just as bad as having some kid scream at you because you fragged him for the seventeenth time in TF2. The world of online gaming or any gaming involving anonymous human interaction is ugly for all involved - men don't complain because there is nothing to be done about it. But I'm pretty sure its driven many people away.

I urge any of you to try commenting on any aspect of TF2 gameplay on the corresponding Steam forum and see what happens, regardless of whether you're male or female. 

Edited May 7, 2014 by Drowsy Emperor

[BruceVC]

 

Gee, way to go Nonek!

On the bright side, I will be able to continue my mental exercise of counting how many times he will refer to himself in third person as "one".

 

Seriously though, all races, creeds, religions and sexual preferences (except white males) should be allowed to form their own special groups just so they will leave everyone else the hell alone.

 

 

Gfted1 there is something fundamentally wrong with what you are suggesting but I can't quite put my finger on it, I just know its wrong somehow

[Monte Carlo]

I divide the world into two groups:

 

1. ****

 

2. Not an ****

 

I don't much give a toss about anything else, TBH. The other night I was playing CoH2 with a Russian, an American and a Pakistani dude (sounds like the start of a joke). No arguments, no being a d1ck, just lots of gaming. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of **** out there but I try to concentrate on the positive.

 

As Drowsy said in the other thread, gaming companies need to grip their service users. Bans for being a d1ck are too rare. I think one company (is it PSN?) is trying to nudge gamers into better online behaviour via a rating system.

 

Whatever.

 

Just don't be an **** to people when you game online. I try not to, occasionally I fail, hey I'm only human. But it's sad that chicks need to form their own little club. And like others have said, would be the first to get uppity about an all-male group.

[mkreku]

"Everything is much harder as a woman!!" - Says woman

 

Please tell me more about how it is being a man, woman.

[Amentep]

 It broke my heart hearing from women who loved fighting aliens but who had to pretend to be men in order to even talk to anyone about it, lest their PM inboxes fill up with come-ons and their social networking get invaded with awful dudes.

 

Back when people thought I was a girl on the BIS boards (something about the avatars or some such) I got hit on by unsuspecting male forumites in PM.

[Drowsy Emperor]

The companies  play at policing so they "cover" what is supposed to be their responsibility but the real deal behind it all is that they don't turn away their customers unless they absolutely have to, which means tolerating just about anything. Many people will put up with a lot to keep playing their favorite game, which the companies are aware of so they let it slide. Obviously when things are slipping from up top, the bottom can only look like the 9th circle of hell. 

Edited May 7, 2014 by Drowsy Emperor

[IndiraLightfoot]

 

 It broke my heart hearing from women who loved fighting aliens but who had to pretend to be men in order to even talk to anyone about it, lest their PM inboxes fill up with come-ons and their social networking get invaded with awful dudes.

 

Back when people thought I was a girl on the BIS boards (something about the avatars or some such) I got hit on by unsuspecting male forumites in PM.

 

Heh! This happened to me too, on three occasions, in Obsidian's NWN2-forums within the Bioware forums (it was natural to keep them there after NWN1). One of the PMs was from a moderator, no less. It's not easy to be something of a gender-bender on gaming forums, if your alt-name and/or avatar suggest anything remotely female. I just replied politely and flashed a bit of true colours. All's well that ends well!

[Gromnir]

I divide the world into two groups:

 

1. ****

 

2. Not an ****

 

I don't much give a toss about anything else, TBH. 

am feeling the same... although we probable fall into the **** category. the thing is, Gromnir treats everybody equal bad. oddly enough, this endeared us to many o' the female posters at old interplay boards. we don't like lack o' fairness, so maybe that strikes some kinda resonating chord. dunno. regardless, am thinking most women ain't as frail as they is frequent portrayed. treat with same respect/disrespect as male counterparts, and female gamers/posters respond positively... for the most part.

 

HA! Good Fun!

[Gfted1]

Back when people thought I was a girl on the BIS boards (something about the avatars or some such) I got hit on by unsuspecting male forumites in PM.

 

Sorry about that. I was drunk and your avatar got me all wound up.

[Malcador]

Dude looked like a lady.

[GhostofAnakin]

 

 It broke my heart hearing from women who loved fighting aliens but who had to pretend to be men in order to even talk to anyone about it, lest their PM inboxes fill up with come-ons and their social networking get invaded with awful dudes.

 

Back when people thought I was a girl on the BIS boards (something about the avatars or some such) I got hit on by unsuspecting male forumites in PM.

 

 

You mean you're not?

 

Oh, um, ignore that last PM then.

[BruceVC]

 

 

Gee, way to go Nonek!

On the bright side, I will be able to continue my mental exercise of counting how many times he will refer to himself in third person as "one".

 

Seriously though, all races, creeds, religions and sexual preferences (except white males) should be allowed to form their own special groups just so they will leave everyone else the hell alone.

 

 

Gfted1 there is something fundamentally wrong with what you are suggesting but I can't quite put my finger on it, I just know its wrong somehow

 

 

I realized what is wrong with your suggestion. Lets say for example  there a guild/group for a small group of gay gamers. One of the gay members wants to join the much more populated, better represented and vocal white straight males guild. He could get told " no sorry we don't allow gays in this guild, you need to stay in your own group"

 

This is just an example but it could apply to any other minority group that fits your example. And this wouldn't be acceptable as this would be bigotry and discrimination. So that idea is fundamentally flawed because of what could happen if people want to join the other groups

[BruceVC]

 

I divide the world into two groups:

 

1. ****

 

2. Not an ****

 

I don't much give a toss about anything else, TBH. 

am feeling the same... although we probable fall into the **** category. the thing is, Gromnir treats everybody equal bad. oddly enough, this endeared us to many o' the female posters at old interplay boards. we don't like lack o' fairness, so maybe that strikes some kinda resonating chord. dunno. regardless, am thinking most women ain't as frail as they is frequent portrayed. treat with same respect/disrespect as male counterparts, and female gamers/posters respond positively... for the most part.

 

HA! Good Fun!

 

 

Gromnir have you not noticed there are very few females members active on these forums? Am I the only one who is concerned by this and wonders why?

[Amentep]

 

 

 It broke my heart hearing from women who loved fighting aliens but who had to pretend to be men in order to even talk to anyone about it, lest their PM inboxes fill up with come-ons and their social networking get invaded with awful dudes.

 

Back when people thought I was a girl on the BIS boards (something about the avatars or some such) I got hit on by unsuspecting male forumites in PM.

 

 

You mean you're not?

 

Oh, um, ignore that last PM then.

 

 

Who says RPG fans don't like romance!

[Gfted1]

So that idea is fundamentally flawed because of what could happen if people want to join the other groups

Oh the delicious irony.

[rjshae]

Men don’t have to deal with this sort of thing, and it’s so systemic. For years I was part of a community that simply didn't have women. At first I thought it was because space sims didn’t appeal to women… but I came to understand it was because of how immature the average forum user was towards them. It broke my heart hearing from women who loved fighting aliens but who had to pretend to be men in order to even talk to anyone about it, lest their PM inboxes fill up with come-ons and their social networking get invaded with awful dudes.

 

Similar types of issues have been reported in the youthful male-dominated software development industry, so I don't think it's a gaming-specific problem per say. I work in an office where I don't think such problems exist--or at least they haven't been reported, but that's likely because we're mostly an older group of well-educated people with families. Plus we all get along with each other very well.

[Amentep]

 

 

I divide the world into two groups:

 

1. ****

 

2. Not an ****

 

I don't much give a toss about anything else, TBH. 

am feeling the same... although we probable fall into the **** category. the thing is, Gromnir treats everybody equal bad. oddly enough, this endeared us to many o' the female posters at old interplay boards. we don't like lack o' fairness, so maybe that strikes some kinda resonating chord. dunno. regardless, am thinking most women ain't as frail as they is frequent portrayed. treat with same respect/disrespect as male counterparts, and female gamers/posters respond positively... for the most part.

 

HA! Good Fun!

 

 

Gromnir have you not noticed there are very few females members active on these forums? Am I the only one who is concerned by this and wonders why?

 

 

Can you determine why they aren't active though?

 

Is the forum (or its posters) uninviting or are women uninterested in posting?