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More Funny than ever (funny stuff topic)


Amentep

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48398251_2122149774549897_42578668788708

 

It's been posted before i'm sure... but it IS funny

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"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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49704109_709938202733982_251711374328909

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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43072085_2001161359968032_84314100592290

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The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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Just what do you think you're doing?! You dare to come between me and my prey? Is it a habit of yours to scurry about, getting in the way and causing bother?

 

What are you still bothering me for? I'm a Knight. I'm not interested in your childish games. I need my rest.

 

Begone! Lest I draw my nail...

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49587681_10156575553992199_8158237567834

 

that remindes me:

 

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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ea5.jpg

  • Like 6

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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49376343_711403175920818_581303817555935

  • Like 1

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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that remindes me:

 

 

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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DuffelBlog - California National Guard declassifies Bro-Code Talkers




LOS ANGELES — The California National Guard declassified a top secret cryptologic program today that played a significant role in the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria.
The Bro-Code Talkers schoolhouse was established in 2008 on UCLA’s fraternity row after the Army expressed a need to develop greater cryptologic defenses in the face of rising great power competition from Russia and China. Bro-Code Talkers embedded as radiomen with combat units to transmit messages through common phrases and concepts from the West Coast fraternity lifestyle, which is undecipherable to outsiders. The Middle Eastern conflicts served as a proof of concept to test the program’s viability.

 

“Me and my sergeants just wanted baller pledges we could kickback with,” explained the unit’s founder, Col. Kiefer Brodie, ripping a fat cloud from his juul. “None of those weak boners, like the Fall ’09 class, who narced when we hazed them. Or that kid who died from alcohol poisoning during last year’s rush. That kid sucked.”

 

The now declassified report translates several examples of the “brocabulary,” which played a key role in the successful execution of thousands of counter-terrorism missions. An expression like “cracking a cold one with the boys,” implies a directive for friendlies to pop smoke during close air support engagements. “Tapping the keg,” is code for a convoy replenishment of food and supplies. “Do you know who my father is?” constitutes a request to speak to higher-ups at battalion headquarters.

 

School cadre handpicked recruits from high schools around the SoCal area through a rigorous selection process. Candidates were chosen based on a variety of factors including how much they liked the Dave Matthews Band, the number of women with whom they had had relations, but mostly their father’s annual income.
Recruits with the following names were granted automatic membership to the prestigious organization: Kyle, Skylar, Kyler, Chad, Brad, Bret, Chet, Chip, Jake, Bryce, Cory, and Todd.

 

The highest offense a soldier could commit in training or battle was breaking Bro-Code, which Brodie called the most sacred of commandments and the very core of what the unit stood for. Soldiers who failed to live up to the community’s hallowed standards of being chill were reportedly drummed out of the HAUS (house) in an elaborate ritual involving a paddling gauntlet and a keg of skunked Natty.

“This one time, my pledge brother Tanner hooked up with my boy Randy’s sister, Jessica,” shared decorated Bro-Code Talker, Staff Sgt. Topher Zayne, suppressing tears. “Me and Brayden and them told him how not tight that was and that if he did it again, we’d have to report him. He said we were chill, but a week later, we caught him with Hunter’s ex, Ashleigh. Bro …”

 

Many have speculated the motives for the program’s recent termination and subsequent declassification, especially after successful fielding in the Middle East. Some blame PC culture, which found fault with the unit’s systematic perpetuation and cover-up of sexual assault at their raucous house parties as well as the community’s stunning lack of racial diversity, inciting some critics to brand them, “whiter than people who say ‘whoopsie-daisy.’”

Despite these claims, many within the organization believe that the program is being retired due to a loss of combat effectiveness in the evolving future of warfare.
“That Vladimir Putin dude … That dude is straight gangster,” commented Troy Vanderbilt chowing down on a plate of “hella good” Indian food. “He’s got a rock band of chicks who follow him around. Bro-code prevents using our powers against somebody who pulls that hard.”

Regardless of the motivation behind it, the special project has come to an end after a storied decade of dominance. As the bros return home to their normal lives and the investment banking jobs offered by their buddy’s dad Rick, they take a moment to reflect on what their service meant.

“Running around in my combat sperrys, the newest iPhone nestled firmly in the cargo frocket of my Reagan Bush ’84 tactical romper, ready to call another bro at a moment’s notice and coordinate fire for our boys on the ground — that’s why I served,” shared Sgt. Kev Jorgenson, staring wistfully into the distance, his OEF visor turned backwards. “Someday, one of my illegitimate children will ask me, ‘Daddy, were you a hero in the war?’ And I’ll say, ‘You can’t prove I’m your daddy. I’ve never met your mother. Here’s ten thousand dollars to shut the hell up.’ But deep down I’ll know … No, I wasn’t a hero. But I raged face in the company of heroes.”

Edited by Raithe
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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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