Guard Dog Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Taser her from behind and measure it before she comes to. You better get her a REALLY good bracelet after that though! "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before" Thomas Sowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nonek Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) Any tips on how to surreptiously measure up a lady for a bracelet? Put your hand around her wrist quite firmly, on the pretext of affectionate flirting or what have you, make a mental note of where your thumb meets your finger and mark afterwards for later referral. A good jeweller should be able to work off this i've found. However after three decades of marriage I find it far simpler to ask the wife directly, she usually works out what i'm about long before I present her with a present, and this avoids disappointment and I am usually pointed to far more suitable retailers. Edited November 19, 2015 by Nonek Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin. Tea for the teapot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurlshort Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 When my wife goes in to get her rings cleaned, she pretty much tells the jeweler what she wants. Then I can go in on my own and just ask said jeweler what she wanted. Nice thing is I can scoff about the price without her around to see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 You better get her a REALLY good bracelet after that though! Stealth is essential. That and you have the extra angle of sympathy after being tased. Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Wait, I actually get holidays? And they're PAID!? What chartreuse magistry is this!? 1 Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Any tips on how to surreptiously measure up a lady for a bracelet? If she has a watch ask to see it and have a measuring tape handy. If she wears bracelets a lot, maybe inquire about how they measure them exactly and hope she lets her size slip. Taser her from behind and measure it before she comes to. [sur-uh p-tish-uh s] /ˌsɜr əpˈtɪʃ əs/ adjective 1. obtained, done, made, etc., by stealth; secret or unauthorized; clandestine: a surreptitious glance. 2. acting in a stealthy way. 3. obtained by subreption; subreptitious. Particular lady is smart enough to understand my intentions if I do any of those. Well, except maybe for the tasering part, ffs. You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorth Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Tell her that this stuff with hand cuffs is actually quite fun and then measure her wrist size from those? 2 “He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosbjerg Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Grab her wrist, notice how much you have to close your hand... Measure your hand. Crude, not very accurate - but stealthy Fortune favors the bald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadly_Nightshade Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Putting in resumes... Though if nothing pans out I might just live off savings for a bit and go back to school full-time again (since I was going to that before too long anyways). "Geez. It's like we lost some sort of bet and ended up saddled with a bunch of terrible new posters on this forum." -Hurlshot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nepenthe Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I got extended another three months. Going to have to start looking for something hopefully a bit more stable afterwards, but we'll see. Got some things brewing already. You're a cheery wee bugger, Nep. Have I ever said that? Reapercussions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) Any tips on how to surreptiously measure up a lady for a bracelet?If she has a watch ask to see it and have a measuring tape handy. If she wears bracelets a lot, maybe inquire about how they measure them exactly and hope she lets her size slip. Taser her from behind and measure it before she comes to. [sur-uh p-tish-uh s] /ˌsɜr əpˈtɪʃ əs/ adjective 1. obtained, done, made, etc., by stealth; secret or unauthorized; clandestine: a surreptitious glance. 2. acting in a stealthy way. 3. obtained by subreption; subreptitious. Particular lady is smart enough to understand my intentions if I do any of those. Well, except maybe for the tasering part, ffs. I have been lucky to just tell them I am getting them a gift and ask their size. That metric isn't really something easily as known as their taste in books or fondness for dip pens or what have you. The ambush and tase option is still the most reliable and maintain surprise. Met with old coworkers, including old manager. A tad awkward, but seems things are uneasy at the old place. Not looking forward to applying and interviewing process. Edited November 20, 2015 by Malcador Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManifestedISO Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Had a good day today, finally, after a string of dumb, anxious ones ... so, came home a wee bit early to get a jump on the imbibition for tonight's #ObsidianPlays. http://www.twitch.tv/obsidian 4 All Stop. On Screen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantousent Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I don't know if anyone has suggested this, Nepenthe, but just ply her with booze and measure her wrists when she passes out. EDIT: Not a bad idea, ManISO. I looked it up and a reasonable amount of alcohol is allegedly not supposed to inhibit the efficacy of antibiotics. Hmmm, just a *few* beers? 2 Fionavar's Holliday Wishes to all members of our online community: Happy Holidays Join the revelry at the Obsidian Plays channel:Obsidian Plays Remembering tarna, Phosphor, Metadigital, and Visceris. Drink mead heartily in the halls of Valhalla, my friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woldan Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I did half barbell squats today with a lot of weight. Leg day is awesome, don't know why people hate it so much. Though judging by the feeling in my hamstrings and butt I better go and find my crutches. Good thing its Saturday tomorrow. And now I'm going to continue to watch The Walking Dead Episode 5. I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 So I mentioned I haven't been to gym for 6 weeks and I went back today....its turns out I haven't been for 2 months, yes I am embarrassed Anyway what was unexpected is I was able to do my full 1 hour training regime, I thought I wouldn't be able to complete it because I assumed I was very unfit but it was fine. Of course I didn't do the normal distances I would normally do but I was still surprised at my level of endurance I have been going on hikes and doing other exercises over the last 2 months but not like my standard 1 hour training but end of the day I am not as unfit as I thought "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Due to a combination of an excessive amount of vacation days left and not much year left, I haven't shaved since last Tuesday. I feel like clawing at my neck with a garden rake it itches so bad. But scratching just makes it angrier... 3 "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Had the joys of a 9am appointment at the jobcentre, so that was getting up early enough to be able to make it through morning rush hour into the city center. Now home and pondering, the weather is incredibly chill, so with my fresh cup of tea I might just binge watch Jessica Jones today as a form of escapism before trying to adult again. "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guard Dog Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I'm on vacation this week so I'm catching up on house projects, laundry and trying to make some sense of the twists and turns of life lately. I'm also catching up on thread reading. After reading the last 3 pages of the Paris Attacks thread I think the best post of all of them was the last one. "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before" Thomas Sowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosbjerg Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I've got that stupid theme song from Phantom of The Opera on repeat in my head.. argh! 1 Fortune favors the bald. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raithe Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 I've got that stupid theme song from Phantom of The Opera on repeat in my head.. argh! At least it isn't Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat... 1 "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blarghagh Posted November 23, 2015 Author Share Posted November 23, 2015 Joined Cant by getting put on antibiotics. Then friday I'm getting a nose job, and will be put on more antibiotics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlintlockJazz Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 At work, about to either headbutt a monitor or walk out and drive away. Probably won't do either, but it's one of those days. 1 "That rabbit's dynamite!" - King Arthur, Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail "Space is big, really big." - Douglas Adams Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nonek Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 (edited) Time to re-watch Office Space tonight Mr Jazz? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wsjroVlu8 Edited November 23, 2015 by Nonek 4 Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin. Tea for the teapot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlintlockJazz Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Time to re-watch Office Space tonight Mr Jazz? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wsjroVlu8 Yes, I think it is getting to that point. Love that scene! 1 "That rabbit's dynamite!" - King Arthur, Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail "Space is big, really big." - Douglas Adams Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 Time to re-watch Office Space tonight Mr Jazz? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wsjroVlu8 I was planning to steal the Solaris box, but sadly the office manager was trying to hustle me out. Rather funny as apparently he told my manager he was a bit worried at how I would take the news. Contacting recruiters today, and plugging along with learning Android development, can't come up with a simple app to make for exercise and fun - was thinking of a "Today in the history of your city". Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts