Female gamers having a hard time in gaming communites

[Undecaf]

Heh, these discussions...

 

There's a music video from Alice In Chains that's pretty analoguous to what happens every time Bruce or anyone opens up this particular jar of flies of a "topic":

 

[HoonDing]

[Blarghagh]

I hate these topics because of the amount of whining about misandry or semantics about what the definition of a sexist act is, or people who just plain don't believe it happens. That and the amount of posts that boil down to "it's not my problem", "stop white knighting" and "look at my clever picture" makes this board seem so passive sometimes. Everybody has to have an opinion yet nobody has an opinion that actually means anything.

 

Instead of opinionating, I'd like to share some stories of things that have happened to my girlfriend in the context of online gaming. With the exception of the last one (I wasn't in the picture at that time), I witnessed all of these first hand. I'm going to present them without comment and see how you guys feel about them:

 

My girlfriend started using Real ID on Battle.net and she would get kicked out of WoW pickup groups about half of the times she joined a group. It stopped when she stopped using Real ID.

 

My girlfriend once used voice chat in a Rust server and suddenly a group of dudes stripped their characters and insisted on trying to jumping around her and take screenshots of their characters' crotches in her character's face until she left the server.

 

My girlfriend has recently stopped playing DOTA 2 because her Steam screen name shows she is female and for some reason DOTA 2 players like to send girls nude selfies with their penises in their hand. It happened 7 times in about two months. She reported these people, and we know at least two of them got banned for it. We know this because both of these got onto different accounts to harass her again because she got them banned. Those are two seperate occassions, by the way, not banned at the same time.

 

My girlfriend was once e-mail and private-message-stalked by a guy demanding nude pics, sending nude pics and claiming that he loved her for six months until he gave up. She had never even interacted with this guy - he was a member on GameFAQS and she had made an account there to post a topic about Pokémon and used her first name in her screen name.

 

My girlfriend tells me she was once asked if she would like to meet up for sex in return for points in Neopets by a 46 year old man. She was 13 at the time.

Edited May 8, 2014 by TrueNeutral

[kirottu]

Well, you convinced me... but does it make me a horrible person when your second example actually sounds kinda fun?

[BruceVC]

I hate these topics because of the amount of whining about misandry or semantics about what the definition of a sexist act is, or people who just plain don't believe it happens. That and the amount of posts that boil down to "it's not my problem", "stop white knighting" and "look at my clever picture" makes this board seem so passive sometimes. Everybody has to have an opinion yet nobody has an opinion that actually means anything.

 

Instead of opinionating, I'd like to share some stories of things that have happened to my girlfriend in the context of online gaming. With the exception of the last one (I wasn't in the picture at that time), I witnessed all of these first hand. I'm going to present them without comment and see how you guys feel about them:

 

My girlfriend started using Real ID on Battle.net and she would get kicked out of WoW pickup groups about half of the times she joined a group. It stopped when she stopped using Real ID.

 

My girlfriend once used voice chat in a Rust server and suddenly a group of dudes stripped their characters and insisted on trying to jumping around her and take screenshots of their characters' crotches in her character's face until she left the server.

 

My girlfriend has recently stopped playing DOTA 2 because her Steam screen name shows she is female and for some reason DOTA 2 players like to send girls nude selfies with their penises in their hand. It happened 7 times in about two months. She reported these people, and we know at least two of them got banned for it. We know this because both of these got onto different accounts to harass her again because she got them banned. Those are two seperate occassions, by the way, not banned at the same time.

 

My girlfriend was once e-mail and private-message-stalked by a guy demanding nude pics, sending nude pics and claiming that he loved her for six months until he gave up. She had never even interacted with this guy - he was a member on GameFAQS and she had made an account there to post a topic about Pokémon and used her first name in her screen name.

 

My girlfriend tells me she was once asked if she would like to meet up for sex in return for points in Neopets by a 46 year old man. She was 13 at the time.

 

Thanks for sharing, I can give similar stories about ladies I know who have been harassed and abused online only because they are female. But you have made the point brilliantly that  this problem is real and exists. What frustrates me the most about some people on these forums is that they have a  view that either the problem that SJW raise isn't as severe as they make it out to be or there solution to address this problem isn't really a solution at all. In other words you hear comments like " but men get abused online...someone once was rude to me" or " I'm sick of hearing about this sexism issue " as if that makes any difference whatsoever to the reality of the situation

 

Well the good news is that there is an increased awareness, solutions and condemnation  from many circles of society around these types of social issues. So for those that are tired of hearing about sexism and misogyny my advice is " get use to it, its not going anywhere " 

[Malcador]

Hm, will be fun when alanschu finds this thread and goes into a sermon.  Probably 3 weeks from now.

[Nonek]

 

I hate these topics because of the amount of whining about misandry or semantics about what the definition of a sexist act is, or people who just plain don't believe it happens. That and the amount of posts that boil down to "it's not my problem", "stop white knighting" and "look at my clever picture" makes this board seem so passive sometimes. Everybody has to have an opinion yet nobody has an opinion that actually means anything.

 

Instead of opinionating, I'd like to share some stories of things that have happened to my girlfriend in the context of online gaming. With the exception of the last one (I wasn't in the picture at that time), I witnessed all of these first hand. I'm going to present them without comment and see how you guys feel about them:

 

My girlfriend started using Real ID on Battle.net and she would get kicked out of WoW pickup groups about half of the times she joined a group. It stopped when she stopped using Real ID.

 

My girlfriend once used voice chat in a Rust server and suddenly a group of dudes stripped their characters and insisted on trying to jumping around her and take screenshots of their characters' crotches in her character's face until she left the server.

 

My girlfriend has recently stopped playing DOTA 2 because her Steam screen name shows she is female and for some reason DOTA 2 players like to send girls nude selfies with their penises in their hand. It happened 7 times in about two months. She reported these people, and we know at least two of them got banned for it. We know this because both of these got onto different accounts to harass her again because she got them banned. Those are two seperate occassions, by the way, not banned at the same time.

 

My girlfriend was once e-mail and private-message-stalked by a guy demanding nude pics, sending nude pics and claiming that he loved her for six months until he gave up. She had never even interacted with this guy - he was a member on GameFAQS and she had made an account there to post a topic about Pokémon and used her first name in her screen name.

 

My girlfriend tells me she was once asked if she would like to meet up for sex in return for points in Neopets by a 46 year old man. She was 13 at the time.

 

Thanks for sharing, I can give similar stories about ladies I know who have been harassed and abused online only because they are female. But you have made the point brilliantly that  this problem is real and exists. What frustrates me the most about some people on these forums is that they have a  view that either the problem that SJW raise isn't as severe as they make it out to be or there solution to address this problem isn't really a solution at all. In other words you hear comments like " but men get abused online...someone once was rude to me" or " I'm sick of hearing about this sexism issue " as if that makes any difference whatsoever to the reality of the situation

 

Well the good news is that there is an increased awareness, solutions and condemnation  from many circles of society around these types of social issues. So for those that are tired of hearing about sexism and misogyny my advice is " get use to it, its not going anywhere " 

 

 

And yet the solution you advocate is to have women artificially seperated from men and granted a superior status, if you want women to be accepted hiding them away and treating them differently is not the correct method, a five year old could reason that out Bruce. It will do nothing except exacerbate the problem.

[Drowsy Emperor]

I hate these topics because of the amount of whining about misandry or semantics about what the definition of a sexist act is, or people who just plain don't believe it happens. That and the amount of posts that boil down to "it's not my problem", "stop white knighting" and "look at my clever picture" makes this board seem so passive sometimes. Everybody has to have an opinion yet nobody has an opinion that actually means anything.

 

Instead of opinionating, I'd like to share some stories of things that have happened to my girlfriend in the context of online gaming. With the exception of the last one (I wasn't in the picture at that time), I witnessed all of these first hand. I'm going to present them without comment and see how you guys feel about them:

 

My girlfriend started using Real ID on Battle.net and she would get kicked out of WoW pickup groups about half of the times she joined a group. It stopped when she stopped using Real ID.

 

My girlfriend once used voice chat in a Rust server and suddenly a group of dudes stripped their characters and insisted on trying to jumping around her and take screenshots of their characters' crotches in her character's face until she left the server.

 

My girlfriend has recently stopped playing DOTA 2 because her Steam screen name shows she is female and for some reason DOTA 2 players like to send girls nude selfies with their penises in their hand. It happened 7 times in about two months. She reported these people, and we know at least two of them got banned for it. We know this because both of these got onto different accounts to harass her again because she got them banned. Those are two seperate occassions, by the way, not banned at the same time.

 

My girlfriend was once e-mail and private-message-stalked by a guy demanding nude pics, sending nude pics and claiming that he loved her for six months until he gave up. She had never even interacted with this guy - he was a member on GameFAQS and she had made an account there to post a topic about Pokémon and used her first name in her screen name.

 

My girlfriend tells me she was once asked if she would like to meet up for sex in return for points in Neopets by a 46 year old man. She was 13 at the time.

 

That's miserable.

[Malcador]

I hate these topics because of the amount of whining about misandry or semantics about what the definition of a sexist act is, or people who just plain don't believe it happens. That and the amount of posts that boil down to "it's not my problem", "stop white knighting" and "look at my clever picture" makes this board seem so passive sometimes. Everybody has to have an opinion yet nobody has an opinion that actually means anything.

 

Instead of opinionating, I'd like to share some stories of things that have happened to my girlfriend in the context of online gaming. With the exception of the last one (I wasn't in the picture at that time), I witnessed all of these first hand. I'm going to present them without comment and see how you guys feel about them:

 

My girlfriend started using Real ID on Battle.net and she would get kicked out of WoW pickup groups about half of the times she joined a group. It stopped when she stopped using Real ID.

 

My girlfriend once used voice chat in a Rust server and suddenly a group of dudes stripped their characters and insisted on trying to jumping around her and take screenshots of their characters' crotches in her character's face until she left the server.

 

My girlfriend has recently stopped playing DOTA 2 because her Steam screen name shows she is female and for some reason DOTA 2 players like to send girls nude selfies with their penises in their hand. It happened 7 times in about two months. She reported these people, and we know at least two of them got banned for it. We know this because both of these got onto different accounts to harass her again because she got them banned. Those are two seperate occassions, by the way, not banned at the same time.

 

My girlfriend was once e-mail and private-message-stalked by a guy demanding nude pics, sending nude pics and claiming that he loved her for six months until he gave up. She had never even interacted with this guy - he was a member on GameFAQS and she had made an account there to post a topic about Pokémon and used her first name in her screen name.

 

My girlfriend tells me she was once asked if she would like to meet up for sex in return for points in Neopets by a 46 year old man. She was 13 at the time.

Always a good idea to not allow strangers to PM you. Or get access to your email address. The first one though, sounds like it might just be normal stuff, WoW Pugs are kick crazy by nature. Still, that's not that surprising that that happens.

 

Ultimately though, I'd say the fact that multiplayer games always have had people treating others like garbage isn't irrelevant. Women just have a different club to get hit with.

[Bos_hybrid]

I must ask how do we know female gamers aren't posting here? Is Bruce running around checking peoples profiles for female gender status?

 

Perhaps there are plenty of female posters here, they just don't feel the need to post about what is between their legs?

 

Why I should care if their are female posters here? Because quite frankly I don't care about what's between forum members legs. You could all be women for all I know.

 

As to female gamers having a hard time in gaming communities, what can seriously be done? Pubescent boys, lonely/desperate men and trolls roam the entire internet/world, not just gaming communities.

[Drowsy Emperor]

 

As to female gamers having a hard time in gaming communities, what can seriously be done? Pubescent boys, lonely/desperate men and trolls roam the entire internet/world, not just gaming communities.

 

That's true, I've seen everything described above happen in Facebook, chat rooms etc. In other words, everywhere. 

Edited May 8, 2014 by Drowsy Emperor

[Malcador]

I suggest a Twitter campaign.

[Hurlshort]

Men are horrible and gross.  I'm fairly shocked that I got one to live with me.  You guys would be best off accepting that, apologizing to every female you come in contact with, and trying to suppress all your base instincts and urges.  

[Monte Carlo]

* shrugs *

 

Like I say, don't be an a55hole to anyone and everything is sweet. I still think the problem is online gaming providers tolerating behaviour that would be completely unacceptable anyplace else because moderation and compliance measures cost money.

 

In fact, as a person who is pretty pissed off about some of the examples here as to how women have been treated online, I think a more helpful thread would be about how gaming companies could be lobbied to make the online spaces they maintain less hostile. FFS the old CoH chatroom was a vile hatefest of Nazis and other idiots. Relic did nothing about it, ever.

[Hassat Hunter]

That's horrible TrueNeutral.

 

Although it seems most vitrol comes from DoTA and MMORPG's... and we all know those contain the scum of humanity (as TOR general chat quickly learned me too). Which isn't limited to females, but to everyone. I'm not sure how that can be changed expect by (as much as we would like is "inhumane") culling the human herd of such degenerates :/.

 

I'm reminded of the recent newspost someone linked to of a CoD player impersonating his opponent and saying he would kill everyone, leading a police hostage-team to be send to his appartment. That's just... too messed up to imagine someone sane doing that over a game... you got crazy people out there

 

EDIT:

I would like to try out a MOBA/DoTA/whatsitcalled too, but all the responses about the community prevent me from ever trying. So yeah, not only females are pushed away from certain games and genres due to vitrol.

Edited May 8, 2014 by Hassat Hunter

[BruceVC]

 

 

I hate these topics because of the amount of whining about misandry or semantics about what the definition of a sexist act is, or people who just plain don't believe it happens. That and the amount of posts that boil down to "it's not my problem", "stop white knighting" and "look at my clever picture" makes this board seem so passive sometimes. Everybody has to have an opinion yet nobody has an opinion that actually means anything.

 

Instead of opinionating, I'd like to share some stories of things that have happened to my girlfriend in the context of online gaming. With the exception of the last one (I wasn't in the picture at that time), I witnessed all of these first hand. I'm going to present them without comment and see how you guys feel about them:

 

My girlfriend started using Real ID on Battle.net and she would get kicked out of WoW pickup groups about half of the times she joined a group. It stopped when she stopped using Real ID.

 

My girlfriend once used voice chat in a Rust server and suddenly a group of dudes stripped their characters and insisted on trying to jumping around her and take screenshots of their characters' crotches in her character's face until she left the server.

 

My girlfriend has recently stopped playing DOTA 2 because her Steam screen name shows she is female and for some reason DOTA 2 players like to send girls nude selfies with their penises in their hand. It happened 7 times in about two months. She reported these people, and we know at least two of them got banned for it. We know this because both of these got onto different accounts to harass her again because she got them banned. Those are two seperate occassions, by the way, not banned at the same time.

 

My girlfriend was once e-mail and private-message-stalked by a guy demanding nude pics, sending nude pics and claiming that he loved her for six months until he gave up. She had never even interacted with this guy - he was a member on GameFAQS and she had made an account there to post a topic about Pokémon and used her first name in her screen name.

 

My girlfriend tells me she was once asked if she would like to meet up for sex in return for points in Neopets by a 46 year old man. She was 13 at the time.

 

Thanks for sharing, I can give similar stories about ladies I know who have been harassed and abused online only because they are female. But you have made the point brilliantly that  this problem is real and exists. What frustrates me the most about some people on these forums is that they have a  view that either the problem that SJW raise isn't as severe as they make it out to be or there solution to address this problem isn't really a solution at all. In other words you hear comments like " but men get abused online...someone once was rude to me" or " I'm sick of hearing about this sexism issue " as if that makes any difference whatsoever to the reality of the situation

 

Well the good news is that there is an increased awareness, solutions and condemnation  from many circles of society around these types of social issues. So for those that are tired of hearing about sexism and misogyny my advice is " get use to it, its not going anywhere " 

 

 

And yet the solution you advocate is to have women artificially seperated from men and granted a superior status, if you want women to be accepted hiding them away and treating them differently is not the correct method, a five year old could reason that out Bruce. It will do nothing except exacerbate the problem.

 

 

No Nonek, I am not suggesting that now we automatically separate every female gamer from all men and they don't interact. I am saying if female gamers want there own space let them have it. But this should be optional.

[Malcador]

No Nonek, I am not suggesting that now we automatically separate every female gamer from all men and they don't interact. I am saying if female gamers want there own space let them have it. But this should be optional.

But that 'space' in the actual game, is separation, as it'd be female only guilds, servers, clans. Otherwise it's not much of a space. In any event, don't think anyone is blocking them from having it.

[HoonDing]

This thread reminds of those female only metros in Japan.

 

[Amentep]

 

We need to know our known unknowns and our unknown unknowns.

do we?  

 

*shrug*

 

No. But I'll also say if a woman comes and posts under the username "Ultima0u812" and puts up an avatar of Han Solo from Star Wars, does anyone realize she's female?

[Amentep]

I hate these topics because of the amount of whining about misandry or semantics about what the definition of a sexist act is, or people who just plain don't believe it happens. That and the amount of posts that boil down to "it's not my problem", "stop white knighting" and "look at my clever picture" makes this board seem so passive sometimes. Everybody has to have an opinion yet nobody has an opinion that actually means anything.

 

What can the average poster do about things that happen outside of their purview? And the stuff they see can only be reported to the authorities of the forums?

 

Instead of opinionating, I'd like to share some stories of things that have happened to my girlfriend in the context of online gaming. With the exception of the last one (I wasn't in the picture at that time), I witnessed all of these first hand. I'm going to present them without comment and see how you guys feel about them:

 

My girlfriend started using Real ID on Battle.net and she would get kicked out of WoW pickup groups about half of the times she joined a group. It stopped when she stopped using Real ID.

I'm not sure what this means as it involves online gaming.

 

Was she invited to join the group? Was it a guild? Or did she just join and someone said "we have too many people" and kicked her? Or did they say "Girl! A filthy casual!" and then kick her?

 

My girlfriend once used voice chat in a Rust server and suddenly a group of dudes stripped their characters and insisted on trying to jumping around her and take screenshots of their characters' crotches in her character's face until she left the server.

That's disturbing. What's a Rust server? Did she complain to some authority on the server?

 

My girlfriend has recently stopped playing DOTA 2 because her Steam screen name shows she is female and for some reason DOTA 2 players like to send girls nude selfies with their penises in their hand. It happened 7 times in about two months. She reported these people, and we know at least two of them got banned for it. We know this because both of these got onto different accounts to harass her again because she got them banned. Those are two seperate occassions, by the way, not banned at the same time.

Yeah, I got nude selfies (well actually wiener selfies (not to be confused with Anthony Wiener selfies) - and well assuming they were selfies because I had no way to have first hand knowledge and didn't feel strongly about pursuing that line of investigation) on another forum (damn my love of pictures of women as avatars). As I recall I blocked the person after telling them I was a dude and they didn't believe it (I must have a feminine typing style).

 

My girlfriend was once e-mail and private-message-stalked by a guy demanding nude pics, sending nude pics and claiming that he loved her for six months until he gave up. She had never even interacted with this guy - he was a member on GameFAQS and she had made an account there to post a topic about Pokémon and used her first name in her screen name.

I'm of the opinion that the default on any board should be to disallow email/pms unless someone opts in as the default (instead of the reverse of that)

 

My girlfriend tells me she was once asked if she would like to meet up for sex in return for points in Neopets by a 46 year old man. She was 13 at the time.

There are creepy scary people online. I've heard similar stories from another forum I was at which actually ended up with a few teen posters (who only ever revealed they were teens (or undercover officers pretending to be teens, who can tell online?) privately and not on the board).

Edited May 8, 2014 by Amentep

[Bester]

I see that people from some side have already capitulated, but I don't know whose side they were on. Did we win? Who won?

[Bester]

As anecdotal evidence, I can just say that I met my wife on another c-rpg forum. That's because there was no bull **** segregation in there.

[AwesomeOcelot]

 

I don't think you can call it a personal attack in the context. It's not enough to say it's intended as an insult. The term "White Knight" has more room to be an insult, depending on how it's meant, that is specific to gender.

 

Not a personal insult or an attack as long as it's in some sort of 'context' or not intended as an insult.

 

Yes, that's pretty much the definition of personal attack, a comment made in an attempt to insult. If it's not intended as an insult it's not a personal attack.

[Meshugger]

I do not see the problem. Don't be a **** online? Proper Netetiquette? What's that got to do with women? Creeps thrive in anonymity, so should we abolish it on the net in order to ruin it for everyone else?

 

Topical:

 

[Whitefox789]

Hate to be a pessimist but I don't believe there is a middleground solution for this problem.

 

At least if we are to keep things the way they are now without having a group keeping a constant monitor for this kind of harassment and severely punishing those who do, I'm not talking banning accounts or anything like that, I'm referring to legal actions being done against the user.

 

Though if we were to do this we would surely get a group that comes out saying, "Whats the big deal? It's just pictures and words." With these people having the narrow mindset of not being able to place themselves in another persons perspective or at the very least try to have some form of empathy.