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The Funny Things Thread.


Rosbjerg

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And lets just put this happy little Bob Ross over here. It'll be our little secret.

Fixed.  ;)

 

(I think I should mention here that I liked Bob Ross and watched a ton of his amazing painting shows on TV. Great guy, RIP Bob! )

 

Edited by Woldan

I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

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All I have seen the last several days is unending Facebook WAR over gay rights and Christian rights and Phil Robertson's rights and television network rights. Please can we go back to ugly sweaters, and embarrassing holiday party drunk pics, and cute Christmas pajamas, and kids singing Rudolph? Pretty please? With tinsel on top? We're gonna all of us blink and wonder how we missed Christmas this year.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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If A&E never decided to cancel the award nominated shows like the highly rated despite the crappy time slot Nero Wolfe (it averaged a 1.9 rating against Sunday Night Football and The Simpsons - Also their highest rated show at the time) that featured multiple award winning actors/actresses in favor of the cheaper Dog the Bounty Hunter's and other stupid "reality" shows, this never would have happened.

 

Maury Chaykin probably said it best in 2008:

"I'm a bit jaded and cynical about which shows succeed on television. I worked on a fantastic show once called Nero Wolfe, but at the time A&E was transforming from the premiere intellectual cable network in America to one that airs Dog the Bounty Hunter on repeat, so it was never promoted and eventually went off the air."

 

Yes, A&E used to be my favorite network. The only time I ever wrote into a network was when they cancelled Nero Wolfe. This whole thing with this Duck Dynasty guy has reminded me of how great that network used to be. Now...

 

I think I'll pitch a show to them called "Dumpster Divers". It's a show about a bunch of bums figuring out which dumpster they're going to go into, and the arguments and fights they might get into. Like: Who gets the dumpster by the Quiznos, and who has to settle for the one by Subway.

It is directly inspired by their storage auction shows. The best part: The costs associated with my show should be a lot lower than that of the storage ones. Because that is why they cancelled Nero Wolfe. ($1M/episode was apparently too much for them then. Even though it made money.)

You see, ever since the whole Doritos Locos Tacos thing, Taco Bell thinks they can do whatever they want.

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'Tis the season:

 

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“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

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Well it's not for everybody, and it appeals to the same crowd that watches "Adventure Time."

 

The guys who came up with the title of that episode ("Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future") however deserve a Nobel Prize in Literature  :dancing:

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Quote
“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

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I never got that show

Is for stoners, so its kind of a good thing you didn't

 

 

Hey, you're in America now, so you just imply it  :biggrin:

Quote
“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

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Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year

 

X44A2wn.jpg

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Quote
“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

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OAK CREEK, WI—Turning on the television while unpacking tablets, iPhones, and laptops from their suitcases, members of the McPherson family communed from across the nation this holiday season for several straight days of staring into electronic screens while in the same room together, sources confirmed Friday. “Nothing puts me in the Christmas spirit more than sitting down on the couch with my parents and siblings, turning on the TV, and then proceeding to either look at the screen or gaze down into my glowing tablet display for hours on end,” 28-year-old Andrew McPherson told reporters, adding that he always felt most connected to his relatives when they were both silently gazing into glowing screens of some kind. “It’s just great to get home for a while and spend some quality time not speaking a single word to my relatives, whether that’s by sipping hot cocoa with my sister while we both check our emails, or by gathering the whole clan for a nice holiday meal where everyone is fixedly looking down at the text messages on their phones—’tis the season, you know?” McPherson noted he was sad, however, that Grandpa Sam would not be there to stare into screens with them this year.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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