Jump to content
The Community Blog (An Invitation)
New Community Blog (Ghosts & Goblins & Chocolate)

Your ideal partner

kirottu

By kirottu
in Way Off-Topic

 Share

Recommended Posts

kirottu

kirottu

Posted
Posted

My ideal partner would a mix of these two fine women:

 

 

I can already imagine our perfect moment together. It would a dinner and she would be eating pizza with her patented double claw style.

Her: "You know, before I met you I only wanted salami pizza."

Me: "And now?"

Her: "Now I only want salamus pizza."

Me: "You had me at 'pizza'."

Then we would live happily ever after.

  • Like 2

This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time.

Valsuelm

Valsuelm

Posted
Posted

First chick is gonna be fat. Second chick wears way too much makeup, especially for a woman her age.

 

This is what your combo is going to look like, only blonde:



And we've not even gotten into how crazy your ideal partner will probably will be.

Enjoy!
213374U

213374U

Posted
Posted

I think your tagging this thread with "Leopard 2 MBT" may be somewhat unwarranted.

 

My ideal lifelong partner:

 

woman-relaxing-wallpapers_14300_1024x768

 

 

(if you couldn't tell, it's the hammock)

  • Like 2

- When he is best, he is a little worse than a man, and when he is worst, he is little better than a beast.

PK htiw klaw eriF

PK htiw klaw eriF

Posted
Posted

A big booty qt whose sweet but can be a bitch. Which describes my gf pretty well.

 

Oby, of course I imagine it'd be quite the sub/dom relationship...

Kinky.

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

Raithe

Raithe

Posted
Posted

Oby, of course I imagine it'd be quite the sub/dom relationship...

 

I was just seeing extreme passive-aggressive rather than actual sub/dom from that direction...  :shifty:

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Hurlshort

Hurlshort

Posted
Posted

Kirottu has started this in good taste, but I'm pretty sure it will spin off the rails pretty fast.

 

You can tell the single guys by the ones that keep posting about weight.  :p

  • Like 2
Malcador

Malcador

Posted
Posted

One that won't plot to kill me.

  • Like 4

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

Gromnir

Gromnir

Posted
Posted

congresswoman barbara jordan.

 

'course she is dead, and were lesbian, so there is some hurdles to overcome.  

 

HA! Good Fun!

  • Like 5

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

Meshugger

Meshugger

Posted
Posted

I have to be the odd one out and say that i prefer thinner women and boobs more. Long (red) hair turns me into a cartoon character and starts howl life a wolf with sometimes hilarious consequences; too bad most red heads that i've dated turned out to be down-right crazy. Blond hair also another weakness, aestethically speaking.

 

Speaking of Oby, i think that she secretly wants to have a nice, quiet family life with atleast three children. If a man can bear the kink of a picture of Putin on the night-stand, "only there to witness the greatness conducted for mother Russia", as she might say, then everything will work out fine.

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

Hurlshort

Hurlshort

Posted
Posted

Some of you wear shallowness like a badge of honor.   :thumbsup:

 

Looks are important, but they change with time.  If you want to find an actual ideal partner you need to go a bit deeper than that.  Which is exactly what Kirottu was doing when he started the thread.  To each their own, I suppose, but odds are you will be on your own a lot.   :-

  • Like 1
Valsuelm

Valsuelm

Posted
Posted (edited)

Some of you wear shallowness like a badge of honor.   :thumbsup:

 

Looks are important, but they change with time.  If you want to find an actual ideal partner you need to go a bit deeper than that.  Which is exactly what Kirottu was doing when he started the thread.  To each their own, I suppose, but odds are you will be on your own a lot.   :-

 

It think it's one helluva a stretch to say he was digging deep.

Edited by Valsuelm
Hurlshort

Hurlshort

Posted
Posted

 

Some of you wear shallowness like a badge of honor.   :thumbsup:

 

Looks are important, but they change with time.  If you want to find an actual ideal partner you need to go a bit deeper than that.  Which is exactly what Kirottu was doing when he started the thread.  To each their own, I suppose, but odds are you will be on your own a lot.   :-

 

It think it's one helluva a stretch to say he was digging deep.

 

 

 

First chick is gonna be fat. Second chick wears way too much makeup, especially for a woman her age.

 

 

Yeah.   :getlost:

Valsuelm

Valsuelm

Posted
Posted (edited)

"I Want A New Woman"
 

Yeah-eah!

I want a new woman
One that won't make me sick
One that won't crash my car
And likes to suck :grin:

I want a new woman
One that won't hurt my head
One that won't make my mouth too dry
Or make my eyes too red

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that won't plot to kill me
And be cool with me drinking beers with you

I want a new woman
One that won't shrill
One that don't cost too much
And doesn't mind the pill

I want a new woman
One that won't go away
One that won't keep me up all night
One that won't make me sleep all day

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that won't plot to kill me
And be cool with me drinking beers with you
Drinking beers, with you...

I want a new woman
One that does what she should
One that won't make me feel too bad
One that likes to make me feel good

I want a new woman
One with no doubt
One that won't talk too much
And will never freak out.

One that won't make me nervous
Wondering what to do
One that won't plot to kill me
And be cool with me drinking beers with you
Eh... I'm just gonna drink beers with you!

 

- Vals 4/25/16 (Inspired by a musical mood while reading this post, and this great song).

Edited by Valsuelm
teknoman2

teknoman2

Posted
Posted

i can think of many women i would gladly sleep with, but not a single one that i would want as a girlfriend/wife... neither real nor fictional.

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

Valsuelm

Valsuelm

Posted
Posted

 

 

Some of you wear shallowness like a badge of honor.   :thumbsup:

 

Looks are important, but they change with time.  If you want to find an actual ideal partner you need to go a bit deeper than that.  Which is exactly what Kirottu was doing when he started the thread.  To each their own, I suppose, but odds are you will be on your own a lot.   :-

 

It think it's one helluva a stretch to say he was digging deep.

 

 

 

First chick is gonna be fat. Second chick wears way too much makeup, especially for a woman her age.

 

 

Yeah.   :getlost:

 

I is not he. You quote me as if I was. ;)

 

Again, I think it's one helluva a stretch to say he was digging deep.

Hurlshort

Hurlshort

Posted
Posted (edited)

On my first date with my wife, two things stuck with me.  She laughed at all my corny jokes and finished her entire meal.  Those turned out to be much more important than you would think.  She is my ideal partner. 

Edited by Hurlshot
  • Like 1
Malcador

Malcador

Posted
Posted

On my first date with my wife, two things stuck with me. She laughed at all my corny jokes and finished her entire meal. Those turned out to be much more important than you would think. She is my ideal partner.

And she knows your username... :p

  • Like 4

Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra

Meshugger

Meshugger

Posted
Posted (edited)

One that won't plot to kill me.

 

Oh boy, i hate to break this to you but...embrace loneliness.

 

Some of you wear shallowness like a badge of honor.   :thumbsup:

 

Looks are important, but they change with time.  If you want to find an actual ideal partner you need to go a bit deeper than that.  Which is exactly what Kirottu was doing when he started the thread.  To each their own, I suppose, but odds are you will be on your own a lot.   :-

 

Oh, this thread was serious? The only tip that i know is that you can never plan on how your relationship will be or what kind of person it should be, but to live life instead. Sure there will be great moments of despair and moments of great joy, but those are part of the ride that we all have.

 

Physical attraction is still important to start a relationship though, anyone saying otherwise is fooling themselves.

Edited by Meshugger
  • Like 3

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

Hurlshort

Hurlshort

Posted
Posted

I don't know if I'd call the thread serious. I just thought it was pretty telling that Kirottu began it with humor and wit and a bunch of people went straight to the physical.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...