Meshugger Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I am playing Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon at the moment. While it is one of the better FPS's in a loooong time, it sheer carnage got me thinking: What if games like these were about humping, making babies, you name it. I am not thinking of those Hentai-games or silly mods for Skyrim. I am thinking about the Call of Duty: Modern Kama Sutra or The Elder Scrolls: Orgasmorock. I am talking about Bioshock: Infinite numbers in terms of budget and production values. What i am calling for is some wealthy billionare to buy Bethesda, Activision, EA, Sony or Microsoft (Nintendo are cool, let them be) and simply do the best practical joke in a long while: have the studios to make games where the sweaty, sensual love is the gameplay. Instead of killing 700 guys, you bone them in hilarious ways. Your weapon arsenal is the basic genitalia, pleasure condoms that are upgradeable, oils, toys and whatnot. The final boss requires excellent thrust-techniques and can only be only defeated with the best equipment. Same with RPG's. Dungeon crawlers get a whole new meaning, arch-nemesis in the tower can only be broken by a high-level seducation spell by the wizard, barbarian tanks pummel through thrash mobs of skeletons with his virility, all while the rogue sneak up from behind, just as the villain likes it. Attributes get a whole new practical meaning, and the stories to be told, ah the stories. Think "What can change the nature of love?". What would the industry think? What would parents say to their children? Would the console market fall flat on itself, would Steam implode? What do you think? 1 "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjshae Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 I think it would get boring very quickly. "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyrock Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 (edited) Edited July 9, 2013 by Keyrock RFK Jr 2024 "Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Labadal Posted July 9, 2013 Share Posted July 9, 2013 Came in here expecting Final Fantasy XIII talk. I'm pleased to see it was not the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorth Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Aren't there games like Dead or Alive or Sexy Beach or whatever they are called around for that purpose? “He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria Caliban Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I would buy it. "When is this out. I can't wait to play it so I can talk at length about how bad it is." - Gorgon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I am playing Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon at the moment. While it is one of the better FPS's in a loooong time, it sheer carnage got me thinking: What if games like these were about humping, making babies, you name it. I am not thinking of those Hentai-games or silly mods for Skyrim. I am thinking about the Call of Duty: Modern Kama Sutra or The Elder Scrolls: Orgasmorock. I am talking about Bioshock: Infinite numbers in terms of budget and production values. What i am calling for is some wealthy billionare to buy Bethesda, Activision, EA, Sony or Microsoft (Nintendo are cool, let them be) and simply do the best practical joke in a long while: have the studios to make games where the sweaty, sensual love is the gameplay. Instead of killing 700 guys, you bone them in hilarious ways. Your weapon arsenal is the basic genitalia, pleasure condoms that are upgradeable, oils, toys and whatnot. The final boss requires excellent thrust-techniques and can only be only defeated with the best equipment. Same with RPG's. Dungeon crawlers get a whole new meaning, arch-nemesis in the tower can only be broken by a high-level seducation spell by the wizard, barbarian tanks pummel through thrash mobs of skeletons with his virility, all while the rogue sneak up from behind, just as the villain likes it. Attributes get a whole new practical meaning, and the stories to be told, ah the stories. Think "What can change the nature of love?". What would the industry think? What would parents say to their children? Would the console market fall flat on itself, would Steam implode? What do you think? You are obviously joking and even if you aren't its a funny post. But no I wouldn't buy a game like that as it would get very boring. I can stream porn if I want to watch something similar to what you are suggesting but not in a game. "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PK htiw klaw eriF Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 "Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic "you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus "Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander "Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador "You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort "thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex "Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock "Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco "we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii "I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing "feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth "Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi "Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor "I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine "I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meshugger Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 Don't you guys see? You find the act to kill more interesting than the act of love. Instead of the arrow of Eros, you deliberately choose the arrow of death. Because of what, being afraid to be bored? Or...hold on. Is it something else perhaps? Maybe fear? Fears that better not to be told? It is time Mr. Buffet and Mr. Soros, please cleanse the industry from the eyes of fear that wants us put locks on our doors, buy more guns and worry about our bank accounts. The time is now nigh to step forward and choose love, because the masses fears it, rejects it and have grown to be dependent on it. 2 "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 (edited) Don't you guys see? You find the act to kill more interesting than the act of love. Instead of the arrow of Eros, you deliberately choose the arrow of death. Because of what, being afraid to be bored? Or...hold on. Is it something else perhaps? Maybe fear? Fears that better not to be told? It is time Mr. Buffet and Mr. Soros, please cleanse the industry from the eyes of fear that wants us put locks on our doors, buy more guns and worry about our bank accounts. The time is now nigh to step forward and choose love, because the masses fears it, rejects it and have grown to be dependent on it. Actually you make a good point despite the fact you are joking, what does it say about the state of our consciousness and society in general where we prefer to play a game that we get to kill people instead of a game where we get to explore the bountiful excitement of things like love and having picnics with friends? You have asked some salient questions that I think we all need to reflect on Edited July 10, 2013 by BruceVC "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoonDing Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Expect something like this from CD Projekt. The ending of the words is ALMSIVI. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orogun01 Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Don't you guys see? You find the act to kill more interesting than the act of love. Instead of the arrow of Eros, you deliberately choose the arrow of death. Because of what, being afraid to be bored? Or...hold on. Is it something else perhaps? Maybe fear? Fears that better not to be told? It is time Mr. Buffet and Mr. Soros, please cleanse the industry from the eyes of fear that wants us put locks on our doors, buy more guns and worry about our bank accounts. The time is now nigh to step forward and choose love, because the masses fears it, rejects it and have grown to be dependent on it. Actually you make a good point despite the fact you are joking, what does it say about the state of our consciousness and society in general where we prefer to play a game that we get to kill people instead of a game where we get to explore the bountiful excitement of things like love and having picnics with friends? You have asked some salient questions that I think we all need to reflect on It means Dating Sims are for those guys who bring their pillow-waifu to public places. I have to vicariously kill dragons because all the real ones died years ago (plus the price tag on a dragon safari is beyond my means) why would I want to have a vicariously experience when I can have the real thing? Now a game where you kill your nagging significant other; that I can get behind. I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"* *If you can't tell, it's you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Walsingham Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Erm... it's a funny idea so don't take this the wrong way.... But... If you combine the logical problem space of a tactical shooter and smush it into sex then... you just have a kind of angry monkey rape simulator. It would probably go down very well with highly sexually competitive species like ducks, but other than that. 1 "It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"." -Elwood Blues tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Given the way the industry is going, I'm sure someone will make it happen. And hate is a lot better than love, keeps you on the attack. Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Labadal Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Don't you guys see? You find the act to kill more interesting than the act of love. Instead of the arrow of Eros, you deliberately choose the arrow of death. Because of what, being afraid to be bored? Or...hold on. Is it something else perhaps? Maybe fear? Fears that better not to be told? It is time Mr. Buffet and Mr. Soros, please cleanse the industry from the eyes of fear that wants us put locks on our doors, buy more guns and worry about our bank accounts. The time is now nigh to step forward and choose love, because the masses fears it, rejects it and have grown to be dependent on it. I'm only interested if the game is as challenging as Demon's/Dark Souls. Call it Boned Souls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrashMan Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 (edited) Actually you make a good point despite the fact you are joking, what does it say about the state of our consciousness and society in general where we prefer to play a game that we get to kill people instead of a game where we get to explore the bountiful excitement of things like love and having picnics with friends? You have asked some salient questions that I think we all need to reflect on If I'd have to guess, it's probably because I can have a picnic with friends in RL, but I can't really kill people. Well....I can. But the last time I tried there were practical complications. Just cleaning the blood alone is tedious and tme-consuming. Edited July 10, 2013 by TrashMan * YOU ARE A WRONGULARITY FROM WHICH NO RIGHT CAN ESCAPE! *Chuck Norris was wrong once - He thought HE made a mistake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirottu Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Walsingham ruined ducks for me... and this thread. 1 This post is not to be enjoyed, discussed, or referenced on company time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orogun01 Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Actually you make a good point despite the fact you are joking, what does it say about the state of our consciousness and society in general where we prefer to play a game that we get to kill people instead of a game where we get to explore the bountiful excitement of things like love and having picnics with friends? You have asked some salient questions that I think we all need to reflect on If I'd have to guess, it's probably because I can have a picnic with friends in RL, but I can' really kill people. Well....I can. But it is..complicated. I don't know what reality you live in but you can do those thing in this one, at the same time even. I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"* *If you can't tell, it's you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BruceVC Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Actually you make a good point despite the fact you are joking, what does it say about the state of our consciousness and society in general where we prefer to play a game that we get to kill people instead of a game where we get to explore the bountiful excitement of things like love and having picnics with friends? You have asked some salient questions that I think we all need to reflect on If I'd have to guess, it's probably because I can have a picnic with friends in RL, but I can't really kill people. Well....I can. But the last time I tried there were practical complications. But Trashman how do we know that a game where we can have a picnic in different outdoor environments wouldn't be fun. There could be exciting things that happen like maybe ants attack the picnic basket or it starts raining? Can you honestly say that you wouldn't be even a little interested in a game like that "Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss” John Milton "We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” - George Bernard Shaw "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meshugger Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 (edited) Don't you guys see? You find the act to kill more interesting than the act of love. Instead of the arrow of Eros, you deliberately choose the arrow of death. Because of what, being afraid to be bored? Or...hold on. Is it something else perhaps? Maybe fear? Fears that better not to be told? It is time Mr. Buffet and Mr. Soros, please cleanse the industry from the eyes of fear that wants us put locks on our doors, buy more guns and worry about our bank accounts. The time is now nigh to step forward and choose love, because the masses fears it, rejects it and have grown to be dependent on it. Actually you make a good point despite the fact you are joking, what does it say about the state of our consciousness and society in general where we prefer to play a game that we get to kill people instead of a game where we get to explore the bountiful excitement of things like love and having picnics with friends? You have asked some salient questions that I think we all need to reflect on It means Dating Sims are for those guys who bring their pillow-waifu to public places. I have to vicariously kill dragons because all the real ones died years ago (plus the price tag on a dragon safari is beyond my means) why would I want to have a vicariously experience when I can have the real thing? Now a game where you kill your nagging significant other; that I can get behind. Creating death is as important as creating life. One can not exist without the other. However, the scale has been tilted for far too long in favor for ending life. Now is the time for balance. Dating sims do not work since they do not stimulate the though-guy dude-bro-instinct. Gears of Boners on the other hand will. Edited July 10, 2013 by Meshugger "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malcador Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 So Meshugger = Molyneux ? Why has elegance found so little following? Elegance has the disadvantage that hard work is needed to achieve it and a good education to appreciate it. - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meshugger Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 No, i am the messanger. Just planting some seeds, hoping that they will bear fruit someday. "Some men see things as they are and say why?""I dream things that never were and say why not?"- George Bernard Shaw"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."- Friedrich Nietzsche "The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it." - Some guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humanoid Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 (edited) An Oglaf game would be this exactly - heck the exact system proposed is shown in the strip from a couple weeks ago (Gifted 2). And I'd totally buy it. Totally, utterly, passionately, buy it. Edited July 10, 2013 by Humanoid L I E S T R O N GL I V E W R O N G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyrock Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Hmm, I'm not sure explicit sex would go over well with the FCC. What about a bromance RPG? You have different abilities like man hug, chest bump, high five, fist bump, and so on. As you level up you could upgrade your abilities to man hug with back pat, predator handshake, fist bump explosion. Here's an example of BioWare style dialogue options: Bro, you want head down to the beach and chill? Fo sho, that's a great idea, brah. I'll grab some brewskis. I gotta pick up the laundry first. Nah brah, that sounds lame. RFK Jr 2024 "Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morgoth Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 @OP Horrible idea. Go home. Rain makes everything better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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