WILL THE ALMIGHTY Posted August 27, 2005 Share Posted August 27, 2005 Let me explain: HK-47 to GOTO: what is it you wish, fat one? bring back anything? (I am not complaning, only explaining) anyway, back on topic: Kreia: It's so dark in here, I can't see a thing! "Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted August 27, 2005 Share Posted August 27, 2005 Oh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth_Pavel Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Just a little something you get when you mix family guy with Star Wars... " ATTON: How's our passenger? She aging as usual? EXILE: Cryptic as always. ATTON: What a surprise. Just you Jedi know, the whole cryptic routine isn't mysterious, it's annoying. If you can really see the future, you should be at the pazzak table. {His last time on Telos} ANNOYED PLAYER: All right, you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darth spock Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Atton: Hey, Exile, now that we're done with Malachor V, how about we hit Earth? I hear they've got some pretty interesting places... Exile: Lyke oh mah Gawd letz cuz itz lyke Adam Brody iz thurr!!!111!!!11!!!! Disciple: Oh! Orlando Bloom, too! [Exile erupts in a fangirlsih squeal]. Atton: ...? Fanfics: KotOR II: After the Credits Rolled: Read Force Sight: Read Other: Gaming Blog: Read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Invoker Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 G0T0: "Iridonian." Bao-Dur: "Yes, G0T0?" G0T0: "I have studied your work and find it of exceptional quality. I require upgrades to my system and you will perform them." Bao-Dur: "I'll get on it when I have some spare time." < Bao-Dur upgrades G0T0. Exile walks in as the droid is put back together. > Bao-Dur: "You are put together quite well! There wasn't much I could do." G0T0: "As I told you earlier, my design is streamlined for maximum efficiency." Bao-Dur: "I did manage to get you one upgrade, however. An operational device allowing remote control of droids." G0T0: "My system already has one such device. Implementing another one is redundant and unnecessary." < Exile grabs the remote control of the workbench, aims it at G0T0 and presses the big red button named: OFF. G0T0 shuts down and falls to the floor.> Exile: All too easy... Bugs? Klingon Software does not have 'Bugs'. It has FEATURES and they are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand! HK-47: "Recitation: First, weapon selection is critical. If I see one more idiot attacking a Jedi with a blaster pistol, then I'll kill them myself." HK-47: "Answer: Select grenades, sonic screamers, cluster rockets and plasma charges. Mines are also effective, since many Jedi will run to meet you in hand to hand combat. Silly Jedi." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musopticon? Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 *applaudes* That was very poignant. kirottu said: I was raised by polar bears. I had to fight against blood thirsty wolves and rabid penguins to get my food. Those who were too weak to survive were sent to Sweden. It has made me the man I am today. A man who craves furry hentai. So let us go and embrace the rustling smells of unseen worlds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WILL THE ALMIGHTY Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Family Guy kotor: Exile: I will destroy you, M5! M5(if it could talk): NO! I created you, and I can destroy you! Takes out small box with red button and presse it Exile:uh... M5: oops, wrong guy. (ravager: Nihilus' corpse explodes) "Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons. I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darthbass123 Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Family Guy kotor: Exile: I will destroy you, M5! M5(if it could talk): NO! I created you, and I can destroy you! Takes out small box with red button and presse it Exile:uh... M5: oops, wrong guy. (ravager: Nihilus' corpse explodes) <{POST_SNAPBACK}> :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krookie Posted August 28, 2005 Share Posted August 28, 2005 Exile: So Bao-Dur, how did you loose that arm? Bao-Dur: One time, at band camp... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 dirty and evil Kyle, Dirty and evil... Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jediphile Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Speculation on HK-47 dialogue in KotOR3... Disgusted answer: Oh yes, I've found meatbag relations to be quite a strain on my photoreceptors and audio-sensors. Clarification: Though my last seemed at first to be far less plagued by confused meatbags unable to resolve their difference, it soon turned out to be just another assault on my behavior core... Mockery: [Handmaiden's voice] "Oh Master, please take off all your clothes and spar with me in the cargohold - I really need to touch your squichy exteriors so that we can both improve for the battles ahead..." Mockery: [Atton's voice] "No, I didn't ask the old meatbag to play Pazaak because I'm desperately attracted to her after being locked up for so long, really I'm not. I really hate her, though I can't say why because it's a secret. Really!" Visit my KotOR blog at Deadly Forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jediphile Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Atton: "Okay, that's it - we're arriving in the Telos system. Dropping out of Hyperspace". Exile: "Good. How long before we long on the surface?" Atton: "Well, you can't actually land on Telos. It's not allowed. Instead we have to go to Citadel..." Exile: "Oh, is that the moon there?" Atton: "That's no moon - it's a space station!" Visit my KotOR blog at Deadly Forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ioini Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Exile: Nal Hutta? Whats that? Atton: Lot's of swamp and bloated gas, it's where the hutts reach out and grab parts of the galaxy. We can't go there, if you can stand washing out your clothes for the next few years. Exile: Well if we had a god damn bathtub and a shower in this ship, I would! Bao-Dur: General, do you know how hard it is to fit it in this ship?! Handmaiden: And plus, i'm starting to smell like a decaying corpse. Exile: I think all of us do, Handmaiden. As a matter of fact, I'm convincing a certain female rodian to sell hygenic products on Onderon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calax Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 Exile: Nal Hutta? Whats that? Atton: Lot's of swamp and bloated gas, it's where the hutts reach out and grab parts of the galaxy. We can't go there, if you can stand washing out your clothes for the next few years. They also call it The Glorious Jewel, don't know what's so glorious about it... Exile: Well if we had a god damn bathtub and a shower in this ship, I would! Bao-Dur: General, do you know how hard it is to fit it in this ship?! Handmaiden: And plus, i'm starting to smell like a decaying corpse. Exile: I think all of us do, Handmaiden. As a matter of fact, I'm convincing a certain female rodian to sell hygenic products on Onderon. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Sry but the glorious jewel needed adding Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition! Kevin Butler will awesome your face off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ioini Posted August 29, 2005 Share Posted August 29, 2005 I forgot about that line. Heh. Thanks Calax. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Atton: Welcome to Nar Shaddaa. If you're looking to get lost in the crowd, this is the place. Exile: Is this the voice of experience? Atton: What? Everyone needs to disappear once in a while. Especially when you've spent the past decade or so hunting and torturing Jedi for amusment. ...Did I say that out loud? The following is an example of the sort of thing I lay awake and think about at night. Star Gate: Knights of the Durasteel Empire The Kotor crew enters a large chamber inside some underground ruins on Korriban. A ring shaped device sits in the center of the room behind a podium and a large sign. The sign reads: "Brandnew Stargate 2.0! Capable of interdeminsional travel! No complicated chevrons! Just press the big red button and go! It can be yours today for the amazing price of five dollars (or three oz. of gasoline)." Revan: What. The. Hell. Where are we? Jolee: The sign on the door says "Mall of America". I thought this was Korriban? Mission: Big red button? Can I press it? Can I? Can I?! HK-47: Mocking: May I shoot her now, Master? Can I please? Zalbaar: I will kill you before you harm her! Revan: NO! No shooting! (to self) You might damage the artifact. Canderous: Will you please all just shut up and let the kid press the button? I want to meet some new races to kill. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Jolee: Oh, I don't know, being ripped apart atom by atom, being trapped on the other side, being dropped off int he middle of space or inside a star... nothing too serious. [Stargate lights up, a wave of energy shoots out and vaporizes T3.] Mission (backing away from red button): I didn't touch anything! HK: Statement: At least that's one problem solved. [One be one, the crew steps through the Stargate. They emerge from a similar gate in the middle of a field outside what appears to be a large city.] Revan: Well, that could have gone worse. Everyone alright? Carth: Ten fingers, ten tows... I'll check the rest later. (5 brownie points to the person that gets this reference) So far so good. Jolee: I'll save my judgement until after we enter the heavily guarded city. I'll add the other half later. If you haven't guessed, they're in Jade Empire. ...What? I was bored! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophy Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Male Exile: So Atton,why do you hate droids anyway? Atton: Because they break,in the head. *Flashback* Atton is entering in his house late at night.His girlfriend is standing at the door,with some kind of droid that can detect lies. Atton's girlfriend: Where were you??Do you know what hour it is??? Atton: Err...I was just taking a relaxing walk. Droid's eyes flashes red. Droid:LIAR. Atton's girlfriend:I knew it! I'm sure you're cheating on me! Atton: Of course not honey! You're the love of my life! The drois said nothing but his eyes flashes red and a we can hear a strange noise. Atton's girlfriend: How could you! It's because you think I'm fat,isn't it? Atton: Aww COME ON you're the most beautiful girl I know! Smoke and spark are getting out of the droid head. Atton's girlfriend,sobing: Well..it could be worse.You could have been cheating on me with a guy. Atton: Yeah...but I love girl just too much for that. The droid explode. *End of flashback* Male Exile: And to think you saw me in my underwear...Force I'm going to do nightmares till I die. Mical,getting out of nowhere with a wild smile: And guess WHO was the lucky guy????? Kreia: SCOOOOOOORE!!!! Mical: You may be some kind of handsome popular guy but you're just a jerk Atton,and for that you'll not get more than some poor love story,while my kindness will earn me happiness with some extraordinary girl who'll love me for who I am inside. The Ebon Hawk crew behind them: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww Atton: That's an ugly guy line,and I don't care cause I got YOUR girl,loser. The crew:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Mical: So I guess we can say were even. Atton: Why? Mical: I slept with your mom. The crew:OUUUUUUUUU Atton:Shutta. The crew laugh. (I know,it was an American Wedding line.) Handmaiden: You're just a typical male Exile,drooling over that Visas! Exile: You're just jealous. Handmaiden: Of course not! nobody could love a pathetic guy like you but some brainless girl like HER or your pilot! Exile: At least Kreia's not my mom. Atton: Exile one,handmaiden zero!WHOUUUU!!WHOUUU!!WHOUU!!!WHOUUU!!! Handmaiden: THAT was really low. *Darkside point gained Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hawk Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 After the Exile leaves the Dormitories on peragus: Exile: (DS line to Kreia) After we fly away from this place I will drop you on a nice little asteroid where you spend the rest of your short life! After the Exile / Atton / Kreia and T3-M4 get on the Ebon Hawk and flee Peragus: Kreia: Then we die here, choose now. Answer options: A) Shoot the asteroids B) No, someone might be alive in the facility C) First we will drop the old witch on a small little asteroid, like I promised and then we jump to hyperspace. Master Vandar lives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marka Ragnos Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Atton: Welcome to Nar Shaddaa. If you're looking to get lost in the crowd, this is the place. Exile: Is this the voice of experience? Atton: What? Everyone needs to disappear once in a while. Especially when you've spent the past decade or so hunting and torturing Jedi for amusment. ...Did I say that out loud? The following is an example of the sort of thing I lay awake and think about at night. Star Gate: Knights of the Durasteel Empire The Kotor crew enters a large chamber inside some underground ruins on Korriban. A ring shaped device sits in the center of the room behind a podium and a large sign. The sign reads: "Brandnew Stargate 2.0! Capable of interdeminsional travel! No complicated chevrons! Just press the big red button and go! It can be yours today for the amazing price of five dollars (or three oz. of gasoline)." Revan: What. The. Hell. Where are we? Jolee: The sign on the door says "Mall of America". I thought this was Korriban? Mission: Big red button? Can I press it? Can I? Can I?! HK-47: Mocking: May I shoot her now, Master? Can I please? Zalbaar: I will kill you before you harm her! Revan: NO! No shooting! (to self) You might damage the artifact. Canderous: Will you please all just shut up and let the kid press the button? I want to meet some new races to kill. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? Jolee: Oh, I don't know, being ripped apart atom by atom, being trapped on the other side, being dropped off int he middle of space or inside a star... nothing too serious. [Stargate lights up, a wave of energy shoots out and vaporizes T3.] Mission (backing away from red button): I didn't touch anything! HK: Statement: At least that's one problem solved. [One be one, the crew steps through the Stargate. They emerge from a similar gate in the middle of a field outside what appears to be a large city.] Revan: Well, that could have gone worse. Everyone alright? Carth: Ten fingers, ten tows... I'll check the rest later. (5 brownie points to the person that gets this reference) So far so good. Jolee: I'll save my judgement until after we enter the heavily guarded city. I'll add the other half later. If you haven't guessed, they're in Jade Empire. ...What? I was bored! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Shepherd says that in stargate atlantis! do I get brownie points now? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkside Posted August 30, 2005 Share Posted August 30, 2005 Shepherd says that in stargate atlantis! do I get brownie points now? :D Right you are! And just for watching Atlantis, you get an additional 55 points! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophy Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 On Peragus Atton:...and they haven't fed me on three days!!Now that's criminal! Exile: I get the feeling you're strong in the Force. Atton: Why d'you say that? Exile: Maybe because that even if you haven't been fed neither drank on three days you look awfully healthy and ready to fight,while any normal human would have been inconcious or even death.Also none of the droids had been able to reach you ,while I simply had to push a single button,and they invade all the others room quite easily.And did I mention the fact... Atton:Ok ok I get it you got me. Kotor 1,after the Leviathan,on the Ebon Hawk Revan:...So you bunch of pathetic tools,are you with me? Mission: Of course!I don't believe for a sec that you're evil!I mean it's not because you killed dozens of innocent,treat us like slaves and be evil just for the pleasure of it till you've been force to stick with me that you're not my friend! Zaalbar: Don't look at me I'm a slave anyway. Canderous:Do you really yhink I care? Jolee: anyway it's not like you're going to kill us right?(nervous laugh by everyone) Revan: So you see carth everyone's with me.Now to the last plant! Carth(with a low voice):Damn you all...I have a bad feeling about this.. Mission: Don't worry Carth...it may be just because he looks funny with those red eyes and these veins... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzzalez Posted August 31, 2005 Share Posted August 31, 2005 Good call anyway..... In K1 Revan: Now I know your plan Komad I will kill you and claim the krayt dragon for myself (or something like that) Canderous: We mandalorians allied ourselves with our brothers in arms. this betrayal is disgraceful. Revan:Hold on there a second Cando old boy...you killed women and children and coulntless other innocent civillians and now you get all self righteous on me...WTF Bastilla: I fear you may be on the path to the dark side. Revan: No..really? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipstreme Posted September 6, 2005 Share Posted September 6, 2005 Kreia: FACE CREAM! MORE FACE CREAM! Atton: *Whispers to Disciple* Its my turn to wear the Slave Outfit Disciple: I feal pretty, oh so pretty Exile: You will get me some coffe Mandalore: Why do I wear this helmet? I'm having a really bad hairday HK-47: *Make sure no one is looking and quickly puts on a Tu-Tu* Shake you r booty! T3-M4: Bow before the True Lord Of The Sith! Bastila: Look at me! I'm stuck up! Revan: Must reisit urge to have another gender opertaion Jolee: If you beilieve in yourself, and with just a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true Mission: Carth! I wanna fly! Carth: No Mission: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wah! *starts kicking and screaming Carth: *shoots her in the head* G0-T0: About time somone did that, to bad it wasn't me Bao-Dur: *Turns on the securty cammara* I woder if Brianna is training again REMOTE: *Plays the Doctor Who theme* Juhani: *Whispers to Brianna* I pooted Brianna: *Runs her through with her lightsaber* Good for you Statemeant: you cannot stop me you cannot harm me, in order to do that I would need to stop being one of you; I have concluded that this is something I am willing to accept! In short you have just shown me your soft meatbag-like underbellies and said Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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