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LadyCrimson

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Sigourney Weaver, Brad Dourif, and Winona Ryder all in the same movie and it sucks? How did they drop the ball so hard? Makes me all the more tempted to check out Resurrection and see what a train wreck it must be...and then I look at the screenshots and it looks about as dumb as everyone says it is.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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45 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

Sigourney Weaver, Brad Dourif, and Winona Ryder all in the same movie and it sucks? How did they drop the ball so hard? Makes me all the more tempted to check out Resurrection and see what a train wreck it must be...and then I look at the screenshots and it looks about as dumb as everyone says it is.

They are being too harsh, you should check it out. It's not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but neither were the rest of the alien movies. Although it has been a long while since I last watched them, so take that with a grain of salt.

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"because they filled mommy with enough mythic power to become a demi-god" - KP

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6 minutes ago, Sarex said:

They are being too harsh, you should check it out. It's not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but neither were the rest of the alien movies. Although it has been a long while since I last watched them, so take that with a grain of salt.

...I feel like whenever you say anything positive about something I'm skeptical of, I then go out and give what you say a chance and it's ten times worse than anything I could have ever reasonably expected. I don't even intend to be contrarian or reactive, it somehow just keeps working out that way. So now I'm expecting it to be the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life, and maybe, hopefully (if I actually bother to watch it), it will be at least a little better than that, :p.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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10 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

...I feel like whenever you say anything positive about something I'm skeptical of, I then go out and give what you say a chance and it's ten times worse than anything I could have ever reasonably expected. I don't even intend to be contrarian or reactive, it somehow just keeps working out that way. So now I'm expecting it to be the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life, and maybe, hopefully (if I actually bother to watch it), it will be at least a little better than that, :p.

I mean, I just said they are being too harsh. There are plenty of worse movies out there. Like for example A Serbian Film, if you are brave enough to watch it.

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"because they filled mommy with enough mythic power to become a demi-god" - KP

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29 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

Sigourney Weaver, Brad Dourif, and Winona Ryder all in the same movie and it sucks? How did they drop the ball so hard? Makes me all the more tempted to check out Resurrection and see what a train wreck it must be...and then I look at the screenshots and it looks about as dumb as everyone says it is.

And Ron Perlman, Michael Wincott, and Dominique Pinion too.

25 minutes ago, Sarex said:

They are being too harsh, you should check it out. It's not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but neither were the rest of the alien movies. Although it has been a long while since I last watched them, so take that with a grain of salt.

I actually enjoyed it, as I mentioned.  There's a couple of of patented JossWhedonisms™ that are a bit of a groaner, and I don't think its Jeunet's best film from a direction standpoint, but its a purer realization of what it is trying to be than Alien³ as I recall (I've only seen the extended version of ³ and then only once).

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I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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25 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

...I feel like whenever you say anything positive about something I'm skeptical of, I then go out and give what you say a chance and it's ten times worse than anything I could have ever reasonably expected. I don't even intend to be contrarian or reactive, it somehow just keeps working out that way. So now I'm expecting it to be the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life, and maybe, hopefully (if I actually bother to watch it), it will be at least a little better than that, :p.

See if @Hurlsnot likes it too.

11 minutes ago, Sarex said:

I mean, I just said they are being too harsh. There are plenty of worse movies out there. Like for example A Serbian Film, if you are brave enough to watch it.

Well it's not the worst movie ever, but it's not very good and seems almost perfectly tailored for Antichristus Bartimaeus to hate.

I liked A Serbian Film lmao

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"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

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5 minutes ago, KP wants Blue Velvet said:

I liked A Serbian Film lmao

Well tbh I never watched it, but everything I heard about it made me not want to watch it. Strangely enough that movie is more popular and well know worldwide than it is in Serbia.

If you want to watch a really good Serbian movie take a look at Lepa Sela Lepo Gore.

"because they filled mommy with enough mythic power to become a demi-god" - KP

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18 minutes ago, Sarex said:

Well tbh I never watched it, but everything I heard about it made me not want to watch it. Strangely enough that movie is more popular and well know worldwide than it is in Serbia.

If you want to watch a really good Serbian movie take a look at Lepa Sela Lepo Gore.

A Serbian Film is definitely brutal, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone without a strong stomach for such things. I can't speak to it's popularity beyond noting that people into "elevated" horror (ie horror for people embarrassed to say they liked a horror movie) seemed to really dig it.

I've never heard of that, I'll try to check it out. I think you Won't Be Alone was filmed entirely in Serbia, but the director and producers were Australian. It looks very good though.

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

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2 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

Sigourney Weaver, Brad Dourif, and Winona Ryder all in the same movie and it sucks? How did they drop the ball so hard? Makes me all the more tempted to check out Resurrection and see what a train wreck it must be...and then I look at the screenshots and it looks about as dumb as everyone says it is.

Well, ditch the cripple and get it over with. :p

Actually, that clip should be enough of a demonstration, anyway. :yes:

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No mind to think. No will to break. No voice to cry suffering.

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At this point I barely even remember A: Resurrection. I do recall us sitting in the theater and for maybe the first 20 minutes, or the first third, or something, I was thinking maybe this would be at least a decent film. Then it went downhill from there.

Alien3 isn't the worst movie in the world either, sure - I liked the alien-gestating from a dog (or whatever it was, I think it was a dog)=changing alien aspect for example. Made sense.

The problems I had with both of those tho is that they weren't good enough for me to really like them, and not bad/cheesy enough for me to find it funny or just brainlessly entertaining. Mostly I sat and groaned, grimaced, or rolled my eyes. It's basically how I felt while watching Prometheus and its sequel, as well.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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Alien3 is one of the movies that benefits most from its director's cut (or whatever they call it in that case). Literally made no sense at all in its theatrical release. It suffers mostly from two factors (1) it's 'thematically' a sequel to Alien, but worse in pretty much every respect and (2) in actual sequence it's a sequel to Aliens, but is significantly different*. That manages to alienate (ohoho) both sets of fans pretty effectively.

Resurrection... well. I know it isn't great, but I can't help but watch it whenever it's on. Closest comparison is probably to Starship Troopers**. I know ST has an utterly unsubtle political critique (which A:R doesn't have), I know that it has 'bad' acting, I know it has 'bad' scripting. I still enjoy it though because in that particular case I just don't care that it's stupid. Everyone looks like they're in on the joke (except Caspar van Dien, and Winona Ryder for Resurrection; and them not being in on it and taking it serious just makes it better) and having great fun, and for me that goes a long way. Probably the same reason I love Sleepy Hollow as well, loads of good actors producing more ham than a pig abattoir.

*and immediately and unceremoniously dumps the Aliens characters, which a lot of people hated. I don't really get the attachment though personally.

**or maybe Bad Taste which is even more stupid, has a less sensical plot but is even more fun. Way more obscure than ST though even with the Peter Jackson factor.

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I've never seen Alien: Resurrection, so I am no help. I'm more of a Predator guy. 

edit: Apparently that's a lie since I never watched the most recent Predator film. I liked the Adrian Brody flick though. Prey looks fun too.

Edited by Hurlsnot
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Grey Man was action-packed. It was like a less smart version of of the Bourne films, but the cast was stellar, so I enjoyed it. It makes me want to play Jagged Alliance though, for some reason. I'm not in the mood to fight getting it to run right with the 1.13 patch, so I might just load of Xcom 2 instead. Why aren't there any good mercenary turn based games anymore?

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5 hours ago, Zoraptor said:

*and immediately and unceremoniously dumps the Aliens characters, which a lot of people hated. I don't really get the attachment though personally.

Pretty much this exact thought occurred to me when I watched Alien 3: if I had actually enjoyed Aliens, I would've been greatly perturbed by them essentially invalidating the entire emotional core of the movie by killing off Newt within the first minute of Alien 3...but since Aliens was a big pile of garbage, I was more or less cheering for doing exactly that. Then the movie told me there weren't going to be any guns (which apparently was a Sigourney Weaver-mandated decision) and it felt as if they were deliberately crapping all over the legacy of Aliens - difficult not to be greatly pleased by that. But yeah, significantly worse than Alien and not at all like it's predecessor Aliens means that most everyone else will hate it.

6 hours ago, LadyCrimson said:

At this point I barely even remember A: Resurrection. I do recall us sitting in the theater and for maybe the first 20 minutes, or the first third, or something, I was thinking maybe this would be at least a decent film. Then it went downhill from there.

Alien3 isn't the worst movie in the world either, sure - I liked the alien-gestating from a dog (or whatever it was, I think it was a dog)=changing alien aspect for example. Made sense.

The problems I had with both of those tho is that they weren't good enough for me to really like them, and not bad/cheesy enough for me to find it funny or just brainlessly entertaining. Mostly I sat and groaned, grimaced, or rolled my eyes. It's basically how I felt while watching Prometheus and its sequel, as well.

From what I recall reading, if the alien gestated from a dog (The Thing...), that's the theatrical version, while in the special/Assembly Cut, it instead gestates from an oxen.

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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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On 7/27/2022 at 5:50 PM, LadyCrimson said:

It's basically how I felt while watching Prometheus and its sequel, as well.

I had a hard time believing that Prometheus was a Ridley Scott film.  I didn't hate it, but there was some mind numbingly dumb things in it that I don't typically associate with Ridley Scott (who isn't perfect, but...)

I guess I should be thankful for Alien: Covenant, because I could totally believe the director of that film would also have directed Prometheus.  

 

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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8 hours ago, Amentep said:

I had a hard time believing that Prometheus was a Ridley Scott film.  I didn't hate it, but there was some mind numbingly dumb things in it that I don't typically associate with Ridley Scott (who isn't perfect, but...)

I guess I should be thankful for Alien: Covenant, because I could totally believe the director of that film would also have directed Prometheus. 

I don't know how true it is but the early stuff I remember hearing was he originally didn't want them associated with Alien much at all or something but maybe was semi-forced (studio politics?) to include more of that direct connection. Maybe that's why it felt disconnected from itself, or ... not sure. I didn't hate it/them either (or Alien3 and 4) - there were at least small  bits I enjoyed within - but they were pretty disappointing overall.

For me personally, I think even in horror, or "pretentious sci-fi idea/rambling/techspeak etc", I need to feel at least some minor emotional connection to something in some way - even if it's just dread or knee jerk sympathy - and those four movies have nothing for me.

Edited by LadyCrimson
“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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Alien: Resurrection (1997).

mpc-hc64_fYYIHIA4Ti.png

Well, this is going to suck. Seems like I always hate his characters and dialogue style...that combined with the fact that, as @Amentep so helpfully informed me, Ron Perlman is also in this movie, means I'm a hundred percent going to absolutely loathe at least one terrible actor and associated character in this film. Soon to find out if it's more than that...

Well, what can one say about Alien: Resurrection? It was about the time we had the Catwoman basketball scene (but sans all the embarrassing quick cuts and nauseating zoom-ins, so I guess not quite as bad) between Sigourney Weaver and Ron Perlman that I knew this movie had gone past the point of no return, and that was only like maybe 25 minutes in. Brad Dourif was awesome, as always, so at least there was that...but on the other hand, there wasn't nearly enough of him. Ron Perlman was awful, as always, and there was naturally way too much of him (although I would say anything more than exactly 0 milliseconds is probably too much Ron Perlman, so you know...with the exception of when he's just voice-acting, I suppose). Um, wow, well, this was not a good movie for reasons beyond Ron Perlman, so I don't even know why I'm talking about him. Let's not make any more Alien movies, mmkay?

Edited by Bartimaeus
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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

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"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

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19 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

Alien: Resurrection (1997).

mpc-hc64_fYYIHIA4Ti.png

Well, this is going to suck. Seems like I always hate his characters and dialogue style...that combined with the fact that, as @Amentep so helpfully informed me, Ron Perlman is also in this movie, means I'm a hundred percent going to absolutely loathe at least one terrible actor and associated character in this film. Soon to find out if it's more than that...

Well, what can one say about Alien: Resurrection? It was about the time we had the Catwoman basketball scene (but sans all the embarrassing quick cuts and nauseating zoom-ins, so I guess not quite as bad) between Sigourney Weaver and Ron Perlman that I knew this movie had gone past the point of no return, and that was only like maybe 25 minutes in. Brad Dourif was awesome, as always, so at least there was that...but on the other hand, there wasn't nearly enough of him. Ron Perlman was awful, as always, and there was naturally way too much of him (although I would say anything more than exactly 0 milliseconds is probably too much Ron Perlman, so you know...with the exception of when he's just voice-acting, I suppose). Um, wow, well, this was not a good movie for reasons beyond Ron Perlman, so I don't even know why I'm talking about him. Let's not make any more Alien movies, mmkay?

But it's not the worst movie ever made? Also how good was that baskball scene, do you know she made that shot for real! :)

"because they filled mommy with enough mythic power to become a demi-god" - KP

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16 minutes ago, Sarex said:

But it's not the worst movie ever made? Also how good was that baskball scene, do you know she made that shot for real! :)

Yes, the worst movie ever made (that I have watched, particularly that I have ever watched the entirety of) is still Star Wars: The Holiday Special. I think I'd put it right around on Aliens' level (i.e. significantly below Alien 3, unfathomably below Alien), but how it got there is different. Where Aliens is just generally bad and dumb throughout the entire thing pretty consistently due to deliberately stupid writing and direction courtesy of one Mr. James Cameron, there were some moments and ideas in Resurrection that I thought were pretty decent...but it was pretty much always quickly followed up with stuff even worse than what I saw in Aliens. A steady flat-line (Aliens) vs. peaks and valleys (Resurrection), I guess. Well, I'm officially done with the Alien property.

mpc-hc64_Ep1wUNeP9X.png

Yeah, I'll get right on that, Fox.

Edited by Bartimaeus
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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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32 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

Well, I'm officially done with the Alien property.

It ain't over until the fat lady sings you're through AvP and the new Ridley Scott films. :p

You know you want to. AvP 2 in particular, that one is so bad even people who enjoy cheesy stupid action films hate it.

32 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

Yes, the worst movie ever made (that I have watched, particularly that I have ever watched the entirety of) is still Star Wars: The Holiday Special.

Stir whip stir whip stir whip whip whip stir!

Edited by majestic
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No mind to think. No will to break. No voice to cry suffering.

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