You rang?
So, I actually sat down and watched Rebel Moon Chapter One: Chalice of Blood. That name is a mouthful, and it is the Director's Cut version of A Child of Fire, which I have not seen. Bear that in mind. I have heard a lot of things about Zack Snyder's most recent film, and none of them good, so I went into watching this with a few expectations in place, the biggest of which would be that it looks like a Zack Snyder film - and that it does. Oh boy does it look like a Zack Snyder film, and lo, Snyder's trademark color grading and desaturation is in place, in full force. That man could film a set created in various shades of pink and make it look somber and brooding (actually, that is a bad example, as the original Addam's Family show was shot in black and white on a set in various shades of pink, and the result looked appropriate for an Addam's Family show).
The other expectation was that I am going to be miserable and hate the film, after all, many of the criticisms I heard from and read of arise from issues that I have harped on over and over and over again, and then some.
Imagine my surprise when that did not happen. I get all critcisms, like the space Amish people plowing and tilling and seeding their fields by oxen and their bare hands while still having houses with automated doors and other modern amenities, or how most of the characters in the film are flat non-starters (only Kora, Noble, Jimmy and Gunnar are developed characters, and of those only Gunnar has an actual character arc, to the point where one could think Gunnar's the main character instead of Kora), that all the scenes with Jimmy are weirdly disjointed and do not fit into the film, that is spends an inordinate amount of time introducing a character who does nothing (although that is apparently just in the Director's Cut).
It just did not really matter. For a film with a runtime of three hours and twentyfive minutes it was surprisingly engaging. The sheer length meant I could not sit down and watch it in one go because I am a little pressed to find so much free time at the moment, but if I had I would not have turned the film off.
That is not to say that I do not have issues with the film. More than once I thought that this movie feels like a video game adaptation. In fact, it would probably work better as a video game. Arguably it did work better as a video game, because it is by far and large Mass Effect 2, just with an obvious betrayal shortly before the suicide mission (which did not materialize, but somehow suspect it still will, in the second chapter, what with the ending of the first one).
There's also too much of Snyder's trademark slow motion violence.
Lastly, there's also way too much copying from existing sources to create a film that is basically a sci-fi The Seven Samurai, and while something like Mass Effect's setting is charming in being a love letter to every sci-fi setting ever created, Snyder's version is a little too much of a mix and a little too unfocused to be really interesting. On the one hand you have your peaceful farming village in what could be a version of Warhammer 40k's Imperium of Man and all the implications that this brings, and on the other hand you have a warrior prince from a conquered world becoming Toruk Makto by riding Buckbeak. For those that have not seen the film, I kid you not. Tarak the Warrior Prince, one of the film's flattest characters, talks to Buckbeak the hippogriff, then kneels in front of it, and mounts it for a ride. This being grimdark it then proceeds to gut Draco instead of just hurting him, but somehow that is both expected as one can see it coming from a mile away, and hilariously gratifying.
Then there's the sequence with Nemesis and the sentient spider creature that I am pretty sure I have seen before somewhere, I just cannot remember where at the moment. There's all the references to Star Wars (including a cantina full of scum). Noble has a tentacle hentai scene and ends up being hooked up to The Matrix.
There's not a single original thought in this, I think, and yet... yet I did not hate it, and I actually found myself just enjoying the ride. These things happen every now and then. I mean, by all accounts, Rebel Moon Chapter One: Chalice of Blood is not a good film. Still, for whatever that is worth, I enjoyed watching it. Normally I would blame this on my mind being broken by Akiva Goldsman, Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci and Jar Jar Abrams, but I, uh, also liked Sucker Punch, and my liking Sucker Punch predates the new Star Wars trilogy and all of nuTrek except Star Trek 2009.
Yeah, I am about as surprised as you all are.