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The Funny Things Thread


Gorth

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I don't get it.

 

Same.

 

Anyway:

 

http://newsthump.com/2016/12/20/im-not-sith-im-alt-jedi-clarifies-darth-vader/

 

I’m not Sith, I’m Alt-Jedi, clarifies Darth Vader

Darth Vader has denied being ‘Dark Lord of the Sith’ and said he self-identifies as a leading light of the Alt-Jedi movement today.

 

The Alt-Jedi are best known for rejecting mainstream Jediism in favour of provocative behaviour designed to outrage the consensus, such as force-choking people and destroying worlds in colossal gouts of laser fire.

 

Many younglings are drawn to the Alt-Jedi because it promises fun, transgression, a challenge to social norms, and the full power of the Dark Side of the Force.

 

Vader is believed to have become associated with the movement after losing his only girlfriend and realising he was too ugly both inside and out ever to get another.

 

“I find your lack of a pair disturbing,” Vader told us. “The snowflake is strong in you.

 

“Give into your hate. Let the anger flow through you. Only then can you know the true nature of Pepe the Frog memes.

 

“You rebel cucks,” he added.

 

Vader’s children have distanced themselves from their father, describing him as a bit of a sorry loser and saying they won’t have anything to do with him until he grows out of it.

 

“It’s just a midlife crisis,” said Leia Organa.

 

“All that wearing black, saying outrageous stuff and driving around in a brand new TiE interceptor.

 

“It’s a bit sad, really. We can’t wait until he just buys a sweater and gets into gardening like all the other dads.

 

“I’ll tell you what, no son of mine will turn out like that.”

 

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Anyone remember that guy that used to spam the Funny Things thread with anime that no one understood? Trashman, I think it was. 

 

Although I do like the outgoing President and First Lady laughing it up. I'm pretty sure President is the crappiest job in the country and it has to be a huge relief to be done.  :p

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I suspect it is a pretty big relief to not have to be president.  But then again if you take enough pictures of people, they'd bound to get one where someone looked happy and someone looked unhappy, so I'm not sure its worth reading much into it beyond an initial bemusement...

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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HA! Good Fun!

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"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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HA! Good Fun!

 

Robert Smigel is seriously f-----g funny!

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"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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sorry I am little drunk but i just read this in local news as comment and i have to share it (even tho its not that funny :/) :

 

On one beautiful sunny day at the end of January 2017, the old man approached from Pennsylvania Avenue to the White House and to the member of the US Marine who stands guard nearby and said: "I want to meet with President Obama." The marine looked up and replied, "Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer President and does not live here, sir." The old man thanked for the information and left. The following day the same man came back to the White House and again told the same Marine: "I want to meet with President Obama." The marine looked up and replied, "Sir, I told you yesterday that Mr Obama is no longer President and does not live here, sir." The old man thanked and left again. On the third day the old man again came to the White House and said: "I want to meet with President Obama." The marine was understandably upset and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row as you ask me about the conversation with Mr. Obama. I told you that Mr. Obama is no longer President and does not live here. Do not you understand, sir?" The old man looked up and said: "Oh yes, I understand, but I just love it when I hear it over and over again." The marine stood to attention and said, "See you tomorrow, sir!"

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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z-funny-pictures-39.jpg

 

Her or his?

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I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene"

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