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The Funny Things Thread


Blarghagh

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"Politics: how to make sure that your son does something that will clearly be misinterpreted, be uncooperative with the police and then claim to newscasters that they were arrested because of a clock.

For those needing context, the Amhed's father is a professional rabblerouser and the whole thing was calculated to make up a mess where there was none."

 

It was a clock. 'Nough said.

 

The fact the father MAY be a 'troll' doesn't change the fact that it was a damn clock.

DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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here a funny story

a family in england had burried the grandma with her phone so they can sent her messages (everyone has his way to deal with a loss i guess)

the funny part comes when 5 years after the funeral, the grandma replied to a text. everyone paniced and started trying to figure out what had happened (they even considered an exorcist), until the mystery was solved: they had asked the phone company to put the phone number of the grandma in reserve and not give it to anyone else, but by mistake they gave the number away and someone started receiveing their texts and replied

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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A prisoner asks a guard

-Can you tell me who won the elections?

-Talking about politics is prohibited in prison, you will learn when you get out.

-But im in for life!

-Then you are lucky that you dont get to know,

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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PhD2%20(1)_255a69d8afa2b566ab17e3dfe5bf1

 

1. Does music express emotions or just elicit them? Read the next 200 pages to not find out.

- Welldogmycats

 

2. Girls take birth control. Girls then pee out unmetabolized estrogens from birth control. Pee goes to water treatment plant, estrogens not treated, male fish become female fish.

- Altzul

 

3. Nanoparticles are weird and I accidentally made a bomb and electrocuted myself.

-M33

 

4. People trying meditation for the first time get aroused.

- PainMatrix

 

5. When I get rid of this gene, it messes the brain up. A lot.

- NeuroscienceNerd

 

6. Computer AI systems can learn to operate a warp drive and automatically build an instructional system to train people how to do it. My dissertation is probably the only one in existence to reference the Star Trek technical manual.

- DrBiometrics

 

7. My experimental drug does NOT cure addiction.

- NotSoCleverPork

 

8. Making new magnets from old magnets because we're running out of magnets.

- IAmAHiggsBoson

 

9. Inpatients with schizophrenia are happier and socialize more in the context of a music listening group. It was obvious before we began the project and we learned nothing.

- Wouldyestap

 

10. Little things stick together. Here's a slightly easier way to calculate their stickiness.

- Born2bwire

 

11. There are amoebas living in volcanos, but I never captured Bigfoot on film (I tried).

- RNAPII

 

12. We can take random pieces of bacterial DNA from beaver poop and put them into other bacteria to discover new things, like how to break wood down into biofuels. Yes, I had to dissect dead beavers and handle their poop.

- Geneius

 

13. This protein looks like it might contribute to asthma. Oh, turns out it probably doesn't.

- Bear_Ear_Fritters

 

14. I crunch numbers using a supercomputer in the hopes of ensuring a fusion reactor in France doesn't get fried on the inside.

- PhysicsFornicator

 

15. Two proteins touch each other in a specific place in the developing heart. No idea if it's important for anything.

- Penguinpaige

 

16. I can make models of galaxies in a computer, but I can't explain why they don't act like real ones. Even if I bash them together or stir them around.

- McMillan_Astro

 

17. People sometimes think about animals as if they're people. People like those animals a little more than regular animals. Except when they don't. I can't believe they gave me a PhD.

- too_many_mangos

 

18. Sand washes away, don't build important stuff on it

- Zoidy

 

19. Why does a coffee stain looks the way it is, and how you can use it to make anti-laser glasses.

- Stockholm-Syndrom

 

20. You can make antimatter move in strange ways if you set your equipment up wrong.

- DrTBag

 

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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I sence a disturbance in the force... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror...

Edited by Azdeus

Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. - H.L. Mencken

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Indy Pitch Generator

 

 

My game is Kingdom Hearts meets Harvest Moon but in space.

 

My game is FTL meets Amnesia: The Dark Descent but without characters.

 

That game is like New Super Mario Bros., but without jumping.

 

That game is like Rayman Legends, but with historical inaccuracies.

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Someone should hire this thing.

 

Caesar 3 but in cyberpunk setting? Total War: Rome meets Viewtiful Joe but hand-drawn? Civilization V but good? These are all amazing ideas.

 

Gay men are super problematic.

From what little tumblr browsing I do it seems like both lesbians and homosexuals have earned the contempt of the "LGBT" community.
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From what little tumblr browsing I do it seems like both lesbians and homosexuals have earned the contempt of the "LGBT" community.

 

You can add bisexuals to that list.

 

4VUvDXo.jpg

 

tVbHdS7.png

 

Apparently they actually don't exist.

When in doubt, blame the elves.

 

I have always hated the word "censorship", I prefer seeing it as just removing content that isn't suitable or is considered offensive

 

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Never felt that anxiety people get when they think of the immense scale of the universe.

 

It's kind of comforting really.

 

and to think that it is proven that the universe is a big firework that blew up long ago and will just keep expanding while slowly fading away until there is nothing left but empty void

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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