Anime - the emotional rolercoaster.

[Gorgon]

The basic story?

 

Distance and how it affects relationships, living in the past, being able to let go, being hopelesly in love.

It's a well known recipe. There must be hundreds of dramas with the same theme. They have had a lot of practice though, so it's pretty well refined. Circumstances beyond their control seperate the young lovers, years pass by and they meet again. Throw in a mortal disease or over controlling parents for variation.

[Malcador]

The problem, of course, is convincing a hopeless romantic that they are being hopeless.

 

Like so many sentences, there is room for improving on it

 

(said the guy, who is about as romantic as a block of concrete)

 

Pah, being romantic is a waste of time.

[Nepenthe]

Only partially on topic, but turns out that if you are an attractive woman, "the one that got away" can literally be the ONE guy you wanted but didn't get with a strategic wave of the finger.

 

I found that pretty ****ing depressing.

[AGX-17]

A drill is a man's romance.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzpY6pLIMQs

[Raithe]

Isn't it kind of interesting how a thread titled "depressed" leads to a discussion on romance?

 

Or, to go with the Neil Gaiman quotage:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

[Osvir]

There's that fine line of romantic and juvenile melodrama... and love and obsession

 

But the hopeless romance can be awkward, and the flip side is, what do you call it when you have tried moving on, bounced therapy, drink, medication, throwing yourself into work, dating other people, throwing yourself into hobbies, keeping yourself distracted with assorted other things, and years on you still find yourself feeling that way about that one person and getting hit with the loss of it all? If you've gone through all the processes that should let you / help you move on, but none of them have actually worked, it reaches a point of slamming your head against a wall in trying to let go properly.

 

Because there was something genuinely impressive and beautiful in what you are trying to run away from (In yourself). I remember the feeling I had, when I was most in love or summer crush like "Grease". Just feeling of freedom, independence, love for everything. Then you get torn, Atlantic sized, work, life catches up, stress. All you want is that feeling of love, but the only place you get it is on a computer screen talking with someone on a continent away. Ridiculous!

 

When you stop chasing for something externally to achieve this state I think you'll understand you already had it internally ups and downs, some are mountains, and some are larger than others, and then you fall down.

 

The point is to find a mountain you can climb with someone, and not a mountain you climb for a reward

[Valsuelm]

Isn't it kind of interesting how a thread titled "depressed" leads to a discussion on romance?

 

The thread was about a movie, that specifically deals with themes that some would consider romance. It didn't get lead there, it started there.

[alanschu]

There's that fine line of romantic and juvenile melodrama... and love and obsession

 

But the hopeless romance can be awkward, and the flip side is, what do you call it when you have tried moving on, bounced therapy, drink, medication, throwing yourself into work, dating other people, throwing yourself into hobbies, keeping yourself distracted with assorted other things, and years on you still find yourself feeling that way about that one person and getting hit with the loss of it all? If you've gone through all the processes that should let you / help you move on, but none of them have actually worked, it reaches a point of slamming your head against a wall in trying to let go properly.

 

For myself, it was coming to terms with the realization that I do not have absolute control over my thoughts (a concept which may scare some people).

 

For example, if I tell you to not think about pink elephants, there's a significantly greater chance you'll think about pink elephants than had I not told you that.

 

For my own personal issues, I was directed to something called "Acceptance Commitment Therapy" (ACT) and it came in pretty useful in dealing with my thoughts that dwell on the past. An example in a book a read pointed out how people with anxiety disorders get caught in negative feedback loops because they are so anxious about having an anxiety attack in public, that they make it more likely to actually have an anxiety attack. Avoidance techniques (like not going to events one wants to go to out of fear of having an anxiety attack) actually reinforce the strength of the fear. People become frustrated because increasingly so, the fear of anxiety starts to control their lives, and they dwell on the thoughts of their anxiety which only gives it more and more strength.

 

Part of the process for myself, was to realize that it's okay if my mind wanders to an event (real or imagined) with the people that scorned me in the past, and to realize it's part of being human and that I shouldn't let it bother me. It's easier said than done, but the book had a lot of interesting exercises to help me understand what it was that my brain was doing, and how developing techniques to convince myself that it's okay if this happens will, ironically, have it happen less.

 

 

It might be easier for me because "the one that got away" ended up becoming "The one that utterly betrayed me and took advantage of me." Until the apex of the crap, however, it was tough for me to realize she was taking advantage of me. Even in the immediate aftermath, I was more concerned with the decisions she was making than my own well being. Fortunately I got out of that nonsense haha.

Edited January 5, 2013 by alanschu

[BruceVC]

There's that fine line of romantic and juvenile melodrama... and love and obsession

 

But the hopeless romance can be awkward, and the flip side is, what do you call it when you have tried moving on, bounced therapy, drink, medication, throwing yourself into work, dating other people, throwing yourself into hobbies, keeping yourself distracted with assorted other things, and years on you still find yourself feeling that way about that one person and getting hit with the loss of it all? If you've gone through all the processes that should let you / help you move on, but none of them have actually worked, it reaches a point of slamming your head against a wall in trying to let go properly.

 

For myself, it was coming to terms with the realization that I do not have absolute control over my thoughts (a concept which may scare some people).

 

For example, if I tell you to not think about pink elephants, there's a significantly greater chance you'll think about pink elephants than had I not told you that.

 

For my own personal issues, I was directed to something called "Acceptance Commitment Therapy" (ACT) and it came in pretty useful in dealing with my thoughts that dwell on the past. An example in a book a read pointed out how people with anxiety disorders get caught in negative feedback loops because they are so anxious about having an anxiety attack in public, that they make it more likely to actually have an anxiety attack. Avoidance techniques (like not going to events one wants to go to out of fear of having an anxiety attack) actually reinforce the strength of the fear. People become frustrated because increasingly so, the fear of anxiety starts to control their lives, and they dwell on the thoughts of their anxiety which only gives it more and more strength.

 

Part of the process for myself, was to realize that it's okay if my mind wanders to an event (real or imagined) with the people that scorned me in the past, and to realize it's part of being human and that I shouldn't let it bother me. It's easier said than done, but the book had a lot of interesting exercises to help me understand what it was that my brain was doing, and how developing techniques to convince myself that it's okay if this happens will, ironically, have it happen less.

 

 

It might be easier for me because "the one that got away" ended up becoming "The one that utterly betrayed me and took advantage of me." Until the apex of the crap, however, it was tough for me to realize she was taking advantage of me. Even in the immediate aftermath, I was more concerned with the decisions she was making than my own well being. Fortunately I got out of that nonsense haha.

 

Thats some good insights, many of your points resonate with me. I haven't been the victim of being deeply hurt by being in love with the wrong person but I did waste 2 years of my life running after a girl who treated me like her personal butler. Then at the end she liked me but by then I realized that we could never be compatible so we stayed friends. The interesting thing is I am not bitter at all, the main reason being I should have seen the obvious that this girl clearly wasn't right for me so in a way I can only blame myself for those 2 wasted years. And if I am honest they weren't really wasted as I had some good life experiences which I have never forgot.

[TrashMan]

I rushed in here to see if someone was feeling suicidal and to tell them not to kill themselves and to seek help and that they are loved. Alas, anime was what I found instead.

 

Tokyo Godfathers is a really good anime too.

 

Finished watching Welcome to NHK yesterday. Was a great show. Especially this scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNZ6lAlmwYA&feature=player_detailpage#t=401s

 

Watching Usagi Drop atm and it is really uplifting.

 

Tokyo Grandfathers is next.

[TrashMan]

A drill is a man's romance.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzpY6pLIMQs

 

 

TTGR is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY overrated.

 

There, I said it.

[Orogun01]

So is Citizen Kane, your point?

[Hormalakh]

Did you watch TG yet? I think I want to watch it again....

[TrashMan]

TG?

[AGX-17]

TTGR is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY overrated.

 

There, I said it.

 

Wow, you're totally the first person to make that controversial opinion known.

 

At least it's honest. *directly implicating your dishonesty in starting this thread*

Regardless, that doesn't make it not fun.

[Orogun01]

TG?

Tokyo's Grandfathers.

[TrashMan]

And fun does not equal quality or good.

 

I find monkeys throwing poo at each other fun. Would you call it the height of quality entertainment?

 

 

 

And bloody hell, Usagi Drop would kill a diabetic. It's sweetness in visual form.

[Orogun01]

And fun does not equal quality or good.

 

I find monkeys throwing poo at each other fun. Would you call it the height of quality entertainment?

Considering how much Michael Bay makes on the box office, i'm inclined to believe so.

[TrashMan]

Aaaand..that's the reason why I want to burn the world down.

[Azure79]

Why are you feeling depressed Trashman? Is the anime the cause or did something happen, prompting you to watch a depressing anime and become more depressed?

 

Hope you're feeling better. It's the year of the snake! Go eat some eel. It'll give you energy.

[WDeranged]

*bitter chuckle at nothing in particular*

[Orogun01]

Why are you feeling depressed Trashman? Is the anime the cause or did something happen, prompting you to watch a depressing anime and become more depressed?

 

Hope you're feeling better. It's the year of the snake! Go eat some eel. It'll give you energy.

I take this post to point out that self deprecation and ennui are just narcissism under the disguise of deepness.

 

Remember: "Non pascentur in troglodyte"

Edited January 8, 2013 by Orogun01

[alanschu]

I could agree with ennui, but not so much self-deprecation.

 

I like to employ self-deprecation more as a means of "I don't take things too seriously" and tend to appreciate those that are able to poke fun at themselves as well. Though I certainly don't think it's really ever disguised as being deep.

[Orogun01]

You're confusing self deprecation with humor, it's a dark sense of humor that tries to poke at personal insecurities so as to take control away from anyone who may notice. I do that a lot too.

Perhaps self deprecation isn't the proper word for it, angst seems more appropriate.

[Gorth]

I am Gorth... *The* Gorth!

 

I laugh at your paltry self depreciation.