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Posted

I was out last night with a female. We had gotten dinner and then went for drinks. We decided to go to a nearby casino/hotel to do some gambling as I've never played table games before. As we are leaving the bar we exited onto a side road, completely deserted, stopped at a red light and apparently made an illegal U-turn once the arrow turned green. Not a segundo and a half later a cop mysteriously appears behind me from out of the ether. At this point I had had 3 or 4 drinks but this was over the course of 4 hours so I was completely sober. He gives me the nystagmus test, apparently I failed. He makes me perform like 3 other sobriety tests and then ultimately the breathalizer.

 

"You failed every test I have given you but you blew zero's. I'm letting you off with a warning." He questioned whether I had had a head injury in the past and when I said no, he said I should probably see a doctor as failing the nystagmus test when sober isn't normal.

 

Not all cops are a holes, though it was a very intense and highly disturbing experience. I'll never drive with even a hint of inebriation ever from hence forth. The rest of the night went alright. I'm not sure how I feel blowing $100 in one night. $50 on dinner and then $50 on gambling within literally 5 minutes. But she paid for drinks and we ended up getting pretty hot in the car before she left so I suppose it's alright.

 

She's a cute girl but not really the one I want. I was previously "seeing" a girl I had met at school through a mutual friend. We had never been much more than school acquaintances but we ended up hanging out one night and having probably one of the best times of my life in beyond recent memory. We made out and I slept over. This happened about two more times and over the course of a very short period of time I think I kind of fell for her. Then last weekend, as things had been getting weird, I asked her about our "relationship" and got the friends deal. I was quite broken up about it, though obviously I would never disclose that to her or anyone. I think about her and how I've never felt about someone like that before. She just seemed perfect, with one flaw, ultimately she's unobtainable as she's moving several thousand miles away within a few months. Perhaps that's why I'm so drawn to her, that and she's extremely beautiful and smart and awesome. And then I think about all the girls I'm courting now. They are nice and each have their qualities that make them special and appealing but I don't see that spark between us in any of them.

 

I feel like crawling back into my shell. Healthy people require relationships but isolation seems so much more comforting at the moment. I tried and some great things came out of it but ultimately I haven't gained what I set out for. I just want to work, school and workout. Disregard women/drinking/etc and acquire money, education and mussels. Simple things.

 

Life just appears so much more complex and difficult now. Abandoned lovers and friends, a growing emptiness of a completely unfulfilled life and the future always looming on the brooding horizon. I'm unsure how to reconcile these things. I want to embrace and cling to hope and my stoic-ist ideals but in the end they have failed me so utterly and completely. Feeling lost does not begin to describe this.

 

tl;dr I'm emo

There was a time when I questioned the ability for the schizoid to ever experience genuine happiness, at the very least for a prolonged segment of time. I am no closer to finding the answer, however, it has become apparent that contentment is certainly a realizable goal. I find these results to be adequate, if not pleasing. Unfortunately, connection is another subject entirely. When one has sufficiently examined the mind and their emotional constructs, connection can be easily imitated. More data must be gleaned and further collated before a sufficient judgment can be reached.

Posted
Life just appears so much more complex and difficult now. Abandoned lovers and friends, a growing emptiness of a completely unfulfilled life and the future always looming on the brooding horizon. I'm unsure how to reconcile these things. I want to embrace and cling to hope and my stoic-ist ideals but in the end they have failed me so utterly and completely. Feeling lost does not begin to describe this.

 

tl;dr I'm emo

 

Holy cow! Did you get married and then divorced while I was away? But seriously you seem to be getting laid on a regular basis with multiple women which, if I remember correctly was one of your hearts greatest desires. Now you're knocking it?

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

Posted

A man's heart is a fickle beast my good guard dog. There was a time when I was an embittered naive youngin who sought only the warm sensual pleasures of a variety of kind hearted women. Unfortunately that hasn't changed. I do feel better though after writing that out and then doing some yard work and making bacon wrapped meatloaf smothered in a quasi bbq sauce. I need to stop thinking. It's not good for my health.

There was a time when I questioned the ability for the schizoid to ever experience genuine happiness, at the very least for a prolonged segment of time. I am no closer to finding the answer, however, it has become apparent that contentment is certainly a realizable goal. I find these results to be adequate, if not pleasing. Unfortunately, connection is another subject entirely. When one has sufficiently examined the mind and their emotional constructs, connection can be easily imitated. More data must be gleaned and further collated before a sufficient judgment can be reached.

Posted

I screwed up.

 

Twisted my whole body while keeping my leg fixed during my martial arts class. My knee popped from its socket, and sprung back again.

 

Now I have a moon sized swelling above my knee, it hurts as hell and I can barely move at all.

logosig2.jpg

Imperium Thought for the Day: Even a man who has nothing can still offer his life

Posted
Now I have a moon sized swelling above my knee,

 

That's no moon...

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Posted
Now I have a moon sized swelling above my knee, it hurts as hell and I can barely move at all.

Doesn't everyone have a moony swelling above their knee?

Victor of the 5 year fan fic competition!

 

Kevin Butler will awesome your face off.

Posted

Boston:"We are butter for Texas to use on their toast." :)

 

C'mon SF Giants, make me feel better.

“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
Posted

Moved into my new place Saturday. New city, new state, new challenges :)

 

My neck is a bit sore, but that is a combination of me not being used to carry 30kg of sportsbags and backpacks for 5km (I usually leave such stuff for military guys) and not having a bed to sleep on before Friday. No phone and internet yet either, which does suck a bit. That and not having a fridge or washing machine either. Ah well, 4 more days.

“He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein
 

Posted
Now I have a moon sized swelling above my knee, it hurts as hell and I can barely move at all.

Doesn't everyone have a moony swelling above their knee?

 

They sure do when they make their knee do things it wasnt designed to :)

 

Well, I'm in a cast now, munching painkillers. Nowhere to go but up.

logosig2.jpg

Imperium Thought for the Day: Even a man who has nothing can still offer his life

Posted

Survived an insomnia filled weekend and now onto the week...

 

It's been about an hour since my sister left for work and left the puppy without her company..and so far it's chased the cat a bit and pissed on the rug...

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Posted

decided to meet up with a friend for a coffee today, and we went off to our usual cafe of choice

turns out a few other people i knew were there, including my ex and some girl i met last week who'd apparently heard of me

apparently i'm getting well known as the guy who always gets hugged and has songs written about me

she kept edging closer and started playing with my beard, then made a half joke about me going home with her, which i laughed off, but she said the offer is still open. had to turn her down, but she seems really nice

instead i came home, nommed garlic bread, and now going to watch some more Sons of Anarchy

a good day all in all :)

when your mind works against you - fight back with substance abuse!

Guest The Architect
Posted (edited)

Slug you're not emo mate, you just sound like you're too smart for your own good. Keep your chin up, sounds like you're on the ball with your weight lifting, job and studies. Good on ya.

Edited by The Architect
Posted

Gorgon: congratulations on your state-thievery. :)

 

 

Sluggo: I think you worry too much. However, I'm a bit concerned that these chicks you talk about always seem kind of ...blank. Do you know what I mean?

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

Posted

Fulfilling more of my role as Carer.

Which has moments of... Again, I understand the whole wanting to prove levels of independance and all. But still, if she let me just do the whole task it would be done in like..10 minutes. But because it's helping her do it.. it takes around 40.

 

It's moments stacked like that that eat up the day..

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

Posted
How do you just not pay taxes? The IRS would come after you to garnish your wages if you tried that here.

They would... when and if they got around to it. Given the scale of their mission and the complexity of the rules they have to operate under, the IRS is redonkulously overworked. (Plus, people who don't pay their taxes aren't usually the type who get "wages." Payroll deductions take care of that issue pretty well. It's the self-employed, the independent contractors, the "arseloads of investment income" taxpayers, and the "ridiculous maze of off-shore shell corporations" taxpayers who cause the most trouble.)

 

In terms of return on investment, more IRS funding to hire more agents and conduct more audits would be one of the better expenditures the U.S. gov't could make. But, shockingly, that particular line-item tends to not be all that popular in Congress.

 

 

"I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization"

-- Oliver Wendel Holmes

Posted

I'll be damned if I know. They have the ability to garnish any type of income, I know because my mother is still having her pension reduced to pay off some type of debt. I seem to have lucked out somehow.

Na na  na na  na na  ...

greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER.

That is all.

 

Posted

It's all about your projected income versus what you actually made. If you get the same monthly wage all the time that's a pretty easy bit of math, if you income changes drastically however.... Fair to say I didn't know what I was doing and had nothing to pay with.

Na na  na na  na na  ...

greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER.

That is all.

 

Posted
How do you just not pay taxes? The IRS would come after you to garnish your wages if you tried that here.

They would... when and if they got around to it. Given the scale of their mission and the complexity of the rules they have to operate under, the IRS is redonkulously overworked. (Plus, people who don't pay their taxes aren't usually the type who get "wages." Payroll deductions take care of that issue pretty well. It's the self-employed, the independent contractors, the "arseloads of investment income" taxpayers, and the "ridiculous maze of off-shore shell corporations" taxpayers who cause the most trouble.)

 

 

Oh yes they view the self-employed as real "enemies of the people". In fact I know a guy who owned a small electronics company who made one small seemingly innocuous mistake. Three years later, after that company had shut down the IRS came calling and the small mistake made in good faith cost that man his entire life savings. The IRS is a monster.

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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