What you did today

[Hurlshort]

My greatgrandmother passed away a few days ago. My family had always joked that she would outlive us; she was as healthy as a frickin horse until she... just passed. Its frickin' strange.

 

My condolences. It's not much, but at least it sounds like she didn't suffer long.

[I want teh kotor 3]

My greatgrandmother passed away a few days ago. My family had always joked that she would outlive us; she was as healthy as a frickin horse until she... just passed. Its frickin' strange.

 

My condolences. It's not much, but at least it sounds like she didn't suffer long.

Thanks. It seems that she was unconscious for most of it, which is I guess better than the alternative...

[Humodour]

Rationality and maturity might be able to affect just how much you react / hide your emotions, but they rarely seem to be able to control just how you feel... When the heart gets going, even when you know it's damned stupid or insane there's not much you can do to shift it. There's just how much you can control how much it shows to everyone else.

 

If you can identify the root cause of your emotions, controlling them is reasonably easy. If you can't, then the most you can hope for is to repress them until the cause is no longer relevant. The problem with repressing emotions is that they fester in your subconscious causing anxiety and stress which will almost always manifest itself through physical agitation, and if the root cause doesn't dissipate, then those repressed emotions will eventually explode back into your conscious in a rather uncomfortable and unstable way.

 

Anything that releases endorphins helps immensely with achieving the calm, collected, peaceful state of mind necessary to identify and resolve the root causes of strong emotions, I've found. Crying is a good example of this mechanism in action, but that's the body's endorphin-releasing defence mechanism and is difficult to trigger on whim. You can achieve endorphin release in a variety of other ways though, which this article neatly summarises in layman's terms: http://www.ivillage.com/endorphins-101-you...oria/4-a-108211

[Hurlshort]

I'd ask you to explain that to my hormonal wife, Krezack, but I'm not sure you would survive long enough to get it all out.

[Humodour]

I'd ask you to explain that to my hormonal wife, Krezack, but I'm not sure you would survive long enough to get it all out.

 

I shall respectfully decline!

[Shryke]

impromptu bush walk

 

i am le tired

[Walsingham]

Nonsense, Krez. It's perfectly possible to control your emotions. The pressure may evince itself in maladaptive ways, but the actual emotion can be restrained.

 

Obviously I'm old school in this respect, but I've seen far more harm done by acting out emotions and saying "I couldn't help it" than I have from suppressing them.

[Humodour]

Nonsense, Krez. It's perfectly possible to control your emotions. The pressure may evince itself in maladaptive ways, but the actual emotion can be restrained.

 

Obviously I'm old school in this respect, but I've seen far more harm done by acting out emotions and saying "I couldn't help it" than I have from suppressing them.

 

Yes I know, and completely agree with you. I used the word 'repress' where you use 'control' because I wished to denote the negative implications of shoving emotions under the carpet. It is a necessary skill to get on in human society, but by the same token it's good to be very consciously aware you're doing it so you can revisit the issue later and resolve it, if only in your own head.

[Walsingham]

I see what you mean, and I've considered it. But I do sometimes think that some wounds are best left as they are, or may never heal square. Reopening them and venting them can just cause pain to no purpose.

 

But I could easily be biased.

[Malcador]

you did get that memo about the TPS reports right?

 

We actually have a TPS process...and I did get a memo about that. Soon they will all burn.

[Hurlshort]

I see what you mean, and I've considered it. But I do sometimes think that some wounds are best left as they are, or may never heal square. Reopening them and venting them can just cause pain to no purpose.

 

But I could easily be biased.

 

Isn't your solution to heartbreak to eat copious amounts of sausage?

 

I didn't mean to make that sound dirty, but I really have no idea how to frame that question differently.

[Raithe]

There's a big tradition of rigerous self-control and stiff upper lip bias among certain forumites here.. but that's just because we're old school English..

 

I'll admit, I've had my own share of troubles with that.. I became quite an expert at compartmentalising and shutting some things away. Although I shared certain elements of my troubles with a friend who persuaded me to see some of the councilors at my old university... and they were hm, kind of flabbergasted at the amount of control and compartmentalisation I was able to do. I think they classed it as a whole "it lets you get by day to day, but it doesn't actually solve the problem."

 

I'd have something hit during the day to cause total emotional/mental stir up, but control the outward reaction to it well enough to go through the afternoon attending lectures, dealing with workshops, team work, coursework and revision. Then go home on the bus, talk to family, take the dog out for a walk, get back home, continue some pleasant conversation with family, then remove myself to the privacy of my room and then have a 10 minute breakdown before gathering myself back together.

 

Some emotional scars just never heal up. Especially some of those early ones.

[Nepenthe]

I'd have something hit during the day to cause total emotional/mental stir up, but control the outward reaction to it well enough to go through the afternoon attending lectures, dealing with workshops, team work, coursework and revision. Then go home on the bus, talk to family, take the dog out for a walk, get back home, continue some pleasant conversation with family, then remove myself to the privacy of my room and then have a 10 minute breakdown before gathering myself back together.

That pretty much describes the early part of my year. I'd go through my days robotically, then come home, call my dad and just come apart. Spent some nights awake wondering between the gas oven and toaster in bathtub options, too.

 

Perhaps I've been lucky, or unlucky, in that I've never cared this much for somebody before. There's been quite a few floozies in the past, some I actually thought I "loved", but it took the real thing to know the difference.

 

The situation is kind of... odd now. I can actually be more relaxed around her than I've been in a year, and she's obviously trying very hard to be a good friend, at least (coz, really, that's what we always were first and foremost, probably what made it so magical to me - not used to being friends with girls).

[Shryke]

you did get that memo about the TPS reports right?

 

We actually have a TPS process...and I did get a memo about that. Soon they will all burn.

 

don't forget to steal the copier

 

damn it feels good to be a gangster

[Hurlshort]

Today I ran in the school Turkey Trot. I placed 3rd...out of 3. Well, I did have surgery last week, and I managed to beat all the female teachers, so I'm not too sore about that. I also had to run barefoot, as I thought it was going to be tomorrow and all I had was sandals. It is about a mile run. Better ice my leg now.

[Gfted1]

You can wear sandals to work?

[Walsingham]

I see what you mean, and I've considered it. But I do sometimes think that some wounds are best left as they are, or may never heal square. Reopening them and venting them can just cause pain to no purpose.

 

But I could easily be biased.

 

Isn't your solution to heartbreak to eat copious amounts of sausage?

 

I didn't mean to make that sound dirty, but I really have no idea how to frame that question differently.

 

 

LOL. Yes. Good thing none of us are Freudians. Or Freud. He'd probably pass out.

 

My point is that surrendering to emotion is a lovely notion but utterly flawed in a lot of instances. Not all, by any means, but a lot. Irritation, envy, lust, badgers. All these things can destroy your whole life far more effiiciently than being a bit Remains of the Day. Commit a theft, spread lies about someone, lash out, get an STD... the list goes on.

 

Controlling to me means the classic "Put up, shut up, or shut down". Have the emotion and don't do anything about it. Don't dwell on the emotion any more than you have to. Or lock it down through doing your local cultural equivalent of smoking a pipe and glaring.

 

Yes, you get pressure leaks occasionally, and you may have to go off for a while and have a cry and a beer. But how is that so bad?

[Hurlshort]

You can wear sandals to work?

 

My stitches are low enough that wearing socks all day is uncomfortable, so I've taken that as an opportunity to dress casually. I'll be back in formal wear after Thanksgiving.

[Humodour]

I see what you mean, and I've considered it. But I do sometimes think that some wounds are best left as they are, or may never heal square. Reopening them and venting them can just cause pain to no purpose.

 

But I could easily be biased.

 

Isn't your solution to heartbreak to eat copious amounts of sausage?

 

I didn't mean to make that sound dirty, but I really have no idea how to frame that question differently.

 

 

LOL. Yes. Good thing none of us are Freudians. Or Freud. He'd probably pass out.

 

My point is that surrendering to emotion is a lovely notion but utterly flawed in a lot of instances. Not all, by any means, but a lot. Irritation, envy, lust, badgers. All these things can destroy your whole life far more effiiciently than being a bit Remains of the Day. Commit a theft, spread lies about someone, lash out, get an STD... the list goes on.

 

Controlling to me means the classic "Put up, shut up, or shut down". Have the emotion and don't do anything about it. Don't dwell on the emotion any more than you have to. Or lock it down through doing your local cultural equivalent of smoking a pipe and glaring.

 

Yes, you get pressure leaks occasionally, and you may have to go off for a while and have a cry and a beer. But how is that so bad?

 

Hmm. 'Surrendering' to emotion is the antithesis of what I think is healthy. Control and mastery is what I was yabbering about earlier - identifying why an emotion is there (not repressing it for an extended period of time, such as hours or days) so you can eliminate it if it is a negative or undesirable emotion. But yeah, that resolution part often needs to be done during a quite, contemplative time.

 

Heck even positive motions can turn into anxiety when repressed (as we sometimes must do - be ebullient at a funeral is typically inappropriate).

[Humodour]

impromptu bush walk

 

i am le tired

 

Where did you go? Ever been to Milford Sound? I'm heading to the Blue Mountains this weekend. Woot.

[Shryke]

impromptu bush walk

 

i am le tired

 

Where did you go? Ever been to Milford Sound? I'm heading to the Blue Mountains this weekend. Woot.

 

met up with a couple of friends and we just started wandering in one direction and eventually found a tiny track heading into the bush, so we decided to see where it went. then we kept flipping coins to choose a new direction everytime we came across a split in the path

so nowhere special, just general exploring

[mkreku]

Spent some nights awake wondering between the gas oven and toaster in bathtub options, too.

Don't even think that!!

 

Don't you know it's much safer to jump in front of a speeding train?

[Nepenthe]

Spent some nights awake wondering between the gas oven and toaster in bathtub options, too.

Don't even think that!!

 

Don't you know it's much safer to jump in front of a speeding train?

 

I've seen that happen (in progress and complete). I'd like to go with an option that doesn't involve cleanup with a brush and a firehose.

[RPGmasterBoo]

That pretty much describes the early part of my year. I'd go through my days robotically, then come home, call my dad and just come apart. Spent some nights awake wondering between the gas oven and toaster in bathtub options, too.

 

Perhaps I've been lucky, or unlucky, in that I've never cared this much for somebody before. There's been quite a few floozies in the past, some I actually thought I "loved", but it took the real thing to know the difference.

 

Why are you provoking me? What's with this excessive sentimental mumbo jumbo?

 

Women are a dime a dozen, stop blabbering and go find yourself a couple of consolation prizes.

 

Think, what would Duke do?

Edited November 19, 2010 by RPGmasterBoo

[Nepenthe]

derp