Shryke Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 who hijacked Archies account?! that was an actual serious, on topic comment! when your mind works against you - fight back with substance abuse!
theslug Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 who hijacked Archies account?! that was an actual serious, on topic comment! Yeah. I'm surprised he didn't call you a dirty kiwi or something. When you two are in the same thread its almost inevitable. Anyways, I don't think qt meant that in a derogatory way arch. She was probably just musing at how lost we men are when it comes to women and romance. Or she was just laughing at how pathetic I am. Let's just say it's the latter so no one's feelings get hurt. There was a time when I questioned the ability for the schizoid to ever experience genuine happiness, at the very least for a prolonged segment of time. I am no closer to finding the answer, however, it has become apparent that contentment is certainly a realizable goal. I find these results to be adequate, if not pleasing. Unfortunately, connection is another subject entirely. When one has sufficiently examined the mind and their emotional constructs, connection can be easily imitated. More data must be gleaned and further collated before a sufficient judgment can be reached.
Guest The Architect Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 The longest I've managed to last in a relationship is five weeks. I get bored very easily =/ I'm sorry babe, I tried my best to entertain you. It was good while it lasted. who hijacked Archies account?! that was an actual serious, on topic comment! If you bothered to pull your head out of your fat ass you'd see more of them, imbecile. And theslug, I don't think you're pathetic. You're not a narcissistic, elitist prick, because if you were, you'd think that you're hot ****, that you're better than everybody, or if not everybody then most people, but if you think that you're pathetic, then... well I guess you're extremely misanthropic then. Oh well, I agree that lots of people are ****ed up, but you shouldn't judge someone before you get to know them and unless you know a **** load of people you should just let your hate go mate, it's not worth it.
Bokishi Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Yeah, slug contradicted himself big time with his last post Current 3DMark
Bokishi Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 As a chick, I'm finding this thread *hilarious*. really why? hmm step into my office and enlighten me Current 3DMark
Hurlshort Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 So there is also this whole maturity aspect of being in a relationship. My opinion is that it is difficult to grow as an individual when you are in a relationship. You also change tremendously over the years, and it doesn't seem to level out for most people until the mid 20's. This of course varies case by case and depending on the circumstances. I always tell students to go to college more for the fact it gives you an extra few years to develop as a person than any education. Folks who start a career right out of High School (or drop out) often get stuck at that stage in their life. So yeah, for the youngun's on the board, there is really no rush. Just enjoy establishing your own identity and eventually you will probably come across someone who likes you for who you are, and then you'll try to do everything in the world to please them, and there won't be anything wrong with that.
Guest The Architect Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Yeah but if they like you for who you are then why would you go out of your way to please them when you can do it effortlessly by just being you and doing what's right in your heart?
Fionavar Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Well, before any more sand gets spilled during the wee hours ... The universe is change; your life is what our thoughts make it - Marcus Aurelius (161)
Fionavar Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Well, before any more sand gets spilled during the wee hours ... Seems people want to try again and I am feeling like I need to imagine romance anyway ... The universe is change; your life is what our thoughts make it - Marcus Aurelius (161)
Gfted1 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 I was wondering what views on romance the boards has... Man, thats a tough question. From 16-28ish I had a rather dim view on long term relationships for exactly the reasons you listed. I mean, why have one when you can have a new ones almost at will? Back then I rarely ended the night alone. The thrill of locking eyes across a bar, approaching her, landing her, it was intoxicating to me. The chase was almost better then the kill, so to speak. Now I have to agree with Hurlshot. Im all old and stuff now and its very comforting to have someone there for you, sharing interests and goals, to grow old with, to love. We have an eight year old daughter whose the light of our lives and all is good. That doesnt mean I dont occasionally think about that 20-something hottie I just saw but in the end cheating is never worth it. "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa"
qt3.14159 Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 Oh, yay, the thread opened back up! As a chick, I'm finding this thread *hilarious*. really why? hmm step into my office and enlighten me Mostly I find it hilarious, because all you guys are talking about all aspects of male / female relationships *except* romance. Real romance is that magical connection that occurs between two people. The one that makes the rest of the world sink into the background and let's you believe that everything will be good. It's easier to experience those emotions early in a relationship and so that's why serial monogamy is so attractive to so many people. Romance can be manufactured and that's a lot of why women like chick flicks so much. They trigger the same part of the brain somehow, and it allows them to forget about the immediate problems in their own relationships and remember their feelings for their partner. However, it's a double edged sword, because romance can seriously mask the real problems in a relationship. The most romantic relationship I've ever been in was also the one that left me the most miserable in the end. Anybody here catch that? All I understood was 'very'.
Hurlshort Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 That really highlights some major differences in the way men and women think. Most men here haven't mentioned romance because it really isn't the important part of the relationship to them. It is a means to an end for most of us. But it is extremely important to women, and so if men want to have a healthy relationship, they need to put in the time it make it romantic.
Daaave Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 The longest I've managed to last in a relationship is five weeks. I get bored very easily =/ I'm sorry babe, I tried my best to entertain you. It was good while it lasted. Awwww no babe you're different, the only one for me. Without you I am not complete. Don't leave me now, it can't end like this :'( Just because you're a bit thinner than your even fatter mum it doesn't mean you're in excellent physical shape, if you could fit through the door and view the normal people you'd notice that cheeseburger boy. Squid suck.
samm Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 (edited) That really highlights some major differences in the way men and women think. Most men here haven't mentioned romance because it really isn't the important part of the relationship to them. It is a means to an end for most of us. But it is extremely important to women, and so if men want to have a healthy relationship, they need to put in the time it make it romantic.Hm, to me, it's more a thing of shared moments filled with unspoken words, and a lot of feelings. Both in a positive way. This is a part of a relationship that just occurs (if it's all planned, it's not half as romantic, imo), and helps to make it more intense and stable at the same time, being a uniting experience.Art, nature and common fascination are the best triggers I think. Edited August 18, 2008 by samm Citizen of a country with a racist, hypocritical majority
Dark_Raven Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 As a chick, I'm finding this thread *hilarious*. Cruelty, thy name be woman! Hades was the life of the party. RIP You'll be missed.
Dark_Raven Posted August 18, 2008 Posted August 18, 2008 As a chick, I'm finding this thread *hilarious*. really why? hmm step into my office and enlighten me LOLZ! Nerd love. Hades was the life of the party. RIP You'll be missed.
Deadly_Nightshade Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Real romance is that magical connection that occurs between two people. The one that makes the rest of the world sink into the background and let's you believe that everything will be good. Uhh... That's not what I would consider romance - in fact I would find that condition more alarming than enjoyable. What you describe is more along the lines of what I was talking about in my last post when I mentioned "passions," an attraction that is very powerful and all-consuming but might not hold up to a long-term relationship. Sure, it might be great while it lasts, but I would rather spend time with a good friend who shares some interests, and not a lover who might be completely incompatible. If the two are are one-in-the-same, great, but that is an ideal situation and not very likely to happen. The more probable scenario, at least in my mind, for a long-term romance is that you, and I am speaking to the general audience here and not to qtpi when I say that, would get involved with someone you had known for some time and that you would not mind spending the rest of your life with. While this might also take some compromise, probably in the bedroom, if you know what I mean, the positive end results will, most likely, outweigh the negatives. Now, speaking from personal experience -although I am sure other members, Shryke, for example, have more than I do- I have found that my longest relationship was with with a very good friend who had many similar interests, she was the one who bought me my first copy of Bloodlines and saved my ass in Latin more then once, and even though we went our separate ways as far as the relationship we are still close friends. Maybe I am biased because of that fact, but it seems that I find those kind of relationships much more satisfying in than purely physical ones - something that is reflected in my current situation. Until recently I would have said I was single, but it now seems I have gotten myself involved with another friend as she has set up a second date - and that's not a bad thing, really, and even if nothing comes of it we're still having fun and enjoying eachother's company. "Geez. It's like we lost some sort of bet and ended up saddled with a bunch of terrible new posters on this forum." -Hurlshot
Moatilliatta Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 As a chick, I'm finding this thread *hilarious*. Cruelty, thy name be woman! Gorth actually isn't too far off here, there's an incredible amount of cruel women out here. @QTpi You walk into a thread called "Romantic drivel" and expect positive (or any for that matter) talk about romance? Also I'm surprised about the amount of honesty coming from Gorth and Slug on the subject (not that they're inhonest guys )
qt3.14159 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 Uhh... That's not what I would consider romance - in fact I would find that condition more alarming than enjoyable. What you describe is more along the lines of what I was talking about in my last post when I mentioned "passions," an attraction that is very powerful and all-consuming but might not hold up to a long-term relationship. Sure, it might be great while it lasts, but I would rather spend time with a good friend who shares some interests, and not a lover who might be completely incompatible. Really when I talk about romance I'm not talking about attraction. I've been attracted to people I have absolutely no romantic interest in at all and attraction can be really powerful, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a mental and emotional connection. That connection is what drives women in relationships, even their friendships and other family relationships. The connections can be stronger when added to attraction, but they're independent of each other in a lot of situations. Anybody here catch that? All I understood was 'very'.
Guest The Architect Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 The longest I've managed to last in a relationship is five weeks. I get bored very easily =/ I'm sorry babe, I tried my best to entertain you. It was good while it lasted. Awwww no babe you're different, the only one for me. Without you I am not complete. Don't leave me now, it can't end like this :'( OMG I've been waiting to hear those words for a long time. Promise you'll never leave me again honey. Never. Again. Mostly I find it hilarious, because all you guys are talking about all aspects of male / female relationships *except* romance. Real romance is that magical connection that occurs between two people. The one that makes the rest of the world sink into the background and let's you believe that everything will be good. It's easier to experience those emotions early in a relationship and so that's why serial monogamy is so attractive to so many people. Is that so? I'm talking about a mental and emotional connection. That connection is what drives women in relationships, even their friendships and other family relationships. The connections can be stronger when added to attraction, but they're independent of each other in a lot of situations. So what the heck do you call this then? I've never been in a long term relationship. I'm 18 years old and a pretty good looking guy I must say, but I understand how shallow and pointless vanity is, not only because you're not special because of good genetics, just lucky, but because while there's usually a common agreement on physical beauty, there's always subjectivity, with everybody, not to mention girls aren't into looks as much as guys are, as Bokishi has previously said before. However, I think looks are relevant in the sense of how mature I look. You see, I look 16, at the least, 15, so I'm not "compatible" with the kind of girls I'd want to pursue a relationship with, which is someone who is hot or at least semi attractive, for sexual reasons, obviously; has a sense of humour and a mature, appreciative, spiritual outlook in life, but not necessarily in the religious sense, just in the sense of not being an egotistical, insecure, materialistic bitch. Someone who believes in equality, basically. Yes, we do place more emphasis on looks than what women do in relationships; they are more of a driving factor, but men are not oblivious or have a lack of understanding to romance and what it is, we know that relationships can't survive on infatuation and lust alone, that there needs to be an emotional connection. Not all guys are shallow and seek just looks; without those qualities I've highlighted in my quote I couldn't be in a relationship with said girl if she didn't possess them. The concept of romance has been brought up in this thread, but it hasn't been the crux of discussion because emotional/psychological connections being the driving force behind relationships is basic knowledge, hence the hilarity of this thread is unfounded.
Hurlshort Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I think it was stated earlier, romance can be manufactured. It just takes a little bit of work. But an emotional connection is a lot trickier.
~Di Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 The longest I've managed to last in a relationship is five weeks. I get bored very easily =/ I'm sorry babe, I tried my best to entertain you. It was good while it lasted. Awwww no babe you're different, the only one for me. Without you I am not complete. Don't leave me now, it can't end like this :'( OMG I've been waiting to hear those words for a long time. Promise you'll never leave me again honey. Never. Again. Mostly I find it hilarious, because all you guys are talking about all aspects of male / female relationships *except* romance. Real romance is that magical connection that occurs between two people. The one that makes the rest of the world sink into the background and let's you believe that everything will be good. It's easier to experience those emotions early in a relationship and so that's why serial monogamy is so attractive to so many people. Is that so? I'm talking about a mental and emotional connection. That connection is what drives women in relationships, even their friendships and other family relationships. The connections can be stronger when added to attraction, but they're independent of each other in a lot of situations. So what the heck do you call this then? I've never been in a long term relationship. I'm 18 years old and a pretty good looking guy I must say, but I understand how shallow and pointless vanity is, not only because you're not special because of good genetics, just lucky, but because while there's usually a common agreement on physical beauty, there's always subjectivity, with everybody, not to mention girls aren't into looks as much as guys are, as Bokishi has previously said before. However, I think looks are relevant in the sense of how mature I look. You see, I look 16, at the least, 15, so I'm not "compatible" with the kind of girls I'd want to pursue a relationship with, which is someone who is hot or at least semi attractive, for sexual reasons, obviously; has a sense of humour and a mature, appreciative, spiritual outlook in life, but not necessarily in the religious sense, just in the sense of not being an egotistical, insecure, materialistic bitch. Someone who believes in equality, basically. Yes, we do place more emphasis on looks than what women do in relationships; they are more of a driving factor, but men are not oblivious or have a lack of understanding to romance and what it is, we know that relationships can't survive on infatuation and lust alone, that there needs to be an emotional connection. Not all guys are shallow and seek just looks; without those qualities I've highlighted in my quote I couldn't be in a relationship with said girl if she didn't possess them. The concept of romance has been brought up in this thread, but it hasn't been the crux of discussion because emotional/psychological connections being the driving force behind relationships is basic knowledge, hence the hilarity of this thread is unfounded. I don't think qt.14159 said anything about guys being shallow or oblivious, so I don't know why you seem so offended and hostile. Mainly, I think she was trying to highlight the differing definition of "romance" itself between most women and most men. Frankly, men and women bring different emotional drives to a relationship. The initial attractions are based on different senses... men are attracted more with visual and scent, women are attracted more by communication and emotion. As the relationship grows, compatibilities expand both the male and female areas of attraction, with men becoming more emotionally attuned and women becoming more sexually attuned. Most women need romance... that emotional, communicative connection... in order to feel sexual on more than a physical level. That's simply a difference in male/female psychological makeup. When women try to explain to men how they see romance and relationships, and they are shut-down or mocked or scolded due to misunderstanding or miscommunication, then a valuable tool in understanding the opposite sex has been lost, in my opinion. If a woman wants to know how a man feels, she should ask him, and listen to his response. If he refuses to communicate, however, she feels shut-out and frustrated. If a man wants to know how a woman thinks, he should ask her. If she tells him, he should be prepared to listen as well. How else are two people ever going to understand each other well enough to build a long-term relationship? That's my take on it.
Guest The Architect Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I never said pi girl said anything about guys being shallow and oblivious to the emotional and psychological side of relationships, but the suggestion that romance hasn't been brought up in this thread and that she finds that hilarious, to me, is an implication that men know little about romance, since that hasn't been brought to the table. Now, I'm not offended by that stance, just dumbfounded by it, to be honest. Society places pressure on men to be "masculine". A trait of masculinity is being stoic, not expressing thoughts and feelings as openly and freely as women do. However, there is a feminine side to most men, just that some hide it more than others or hide it better than others. Me thinks there is an underestimation from women of men's understandings of romance, that's all. But I can't speak for us all.
Azure79 Posted August 19, 2008 Posted August 19, 2008 I'm entirely too lazy and self-centered to be in a long term relationship. On the other hand, if a lady does happen to like me for some reason, they can rest assured that I'm too lazy to go around cheating too. Yes, I am a catch.
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