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Bartimaeus

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With Frieren being history now (sob) and no announcement of a season 2 (which would probably take another 3 years to make) and Metallic Rouge ending too, with episode 13, I returned to my favourite slime (Diablo is just bad ass) πŸ˜‚

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β€œHe who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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On 4/8/2024 at 3:30 AM, Gorth said:

With Frieren being history now (sob) and no announcement of a season 2 (which would probably take another 3 years to make) and Metallic Rouge ending too, with episode 13, I returned to my favourite slime (Diablo is just bad ass) πŸ˜‚

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It's been quite some time since I watched this, so I was confused in some scenes, but I still didn't want to watch the recap.

It's interesting to compare this with Overlord. In both cases you have characters capable of extremely evil things, but in Tensei Slime they only do it to people who do terrible things to them.

If I had to be an isekai character, it would definitely be Rimuru. The guy can recreate anything he wants, including food, mangas, healing potions...

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19 hours ago, InsaneCommander said:

It's been quite some time since I watched this, so I was confused in some scenes, but I still didn't want to watch the recap.

It's interesting to compare this with Overlord. In both cases you have characters capable of extremely evil things, but in Tensei Slime they only do it to people who do terrible things to them.

If I had to be an isekai character, it would definitely be Rimuru. The guy can recreate anything he wants, including food, mangas, healing potions...

While I was trying to make up my mind, a character caught my attention and I watched "Gushing over Magical Girls".... all I can say is

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πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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No, not going to post clips from it, but dang it was funny (and Utenas VA was simply awesome)!

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β€œHe who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Suzume...Hyoutan Suzume (1959).

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It's a really great movie...well, maybe it's a great movie, I don't understand Japanese too well and nobody ever bothered to translate it, but yeah, it's probably a great movie. I got the impression that the narrative was some really high brow, deep thought, complex feelings kind of stuff, but it thankfully wasn't too heavy on the piano, so it was nice to see Makoto Shinkai finally branch out a little from his usual fare. I was a little miffed that @Sarex wouldn't recommend something like this to me, but it is rare that we agree on something, so I suppose he probably was just exercising an understandable level of caution. Luckily, there was no need for that here: when you've got such cutting edge art and animation like the above, I don't think you really need anything else anyways, :yes:.

Edited by Bartimaeus
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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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On 4/10/2024 at 8:38 PM, Gorth said:

While I was trying to make up my mind, a character caught my attention and I watched "Gushing over Magical Girls".... all I can say is

Β 

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Β 

No, not going to post clips from it, but dang it was funny (and Utenas VA was simply awesome)!

Β 

gimmick of that one get old pretty quick

read about 70 chapter and give up when new character are boring

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The memes are endless... some good, some bad, some just plain weird

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β€œHe who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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The End of Sailor Moon: Sailor Moon Cosmos.

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I have no words for this.

This travesty of a film is almost three hours long, and in order to save my sanity, I shall turn the playback to 2.0 speed.

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What in the everblazing infernos of Hell is that?

This post might have less screenshots than usual since it will be much harder to capture stuff at 2 times the regular playback speed. After a brief opening scene, the intro begins, and thankfully it is over really, really quickly. However, I felt the need to punish myself and go look for it on YouTube, because it needs to be seen to be believed. Well, and heard. Heard too.

Three minutes into the movie and I already want to kill myself.

Okay, so this begins with Usagi waking up, then leaving the house. Chibi-Usa and Hotaru are holding hands and are gossiping, and Usagi complains about them being awfully close, to which Hotaru replies that she and Mamoru are also holding hands like that.

Score one for the creepy romances. I mean if Chibi-Usa would have said that, it could have been her just teasing Usagi. Hotaru has no reason to tease Usagi. And, after not even five minutes, I already wish there would be actual brain bleach. Instead I will forever be stuck with the image of Hotaru and Chibi-Usa holding hands with Hotaru comparing it to Usagi and Mamoru.

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"The pain will only be passing. You should survive the process." -- Joneleth Irenicus

Well, to be honest, Hotaru is a better choice than Pegasus the Pedophile Alicorn, and it is only natural after Hotaru's experiments with the crystal butt plug in season three, but why is this scene even there? We switch to everyone meeting at school, and by that I mean everyone. Haruka and Michiru are there, for no particular reason, and Setsuna is the school nurse. Sure, why not. Wait, wasn't she studying physics back in season three? Well, whatever.

I already forgot the actual plot of the season from the manga, instead of Mamoru being hit by Galaxia's attack on the plane, this one happens right in front of Usagi's eyes. With Mamoru dead, Usagi falls into a catatonic stupor that nobody seems to notice. She tells everyone Mamoru arrived safely in the US, and everyone is just buying it. Chibi-Usa goes home, making the romance scene even dumber than it already was, and Minako sort of notices that Usagi is acting weird, but nothing comes of it.

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Oh. And now I have something to tortue @BartimaeusΒ with. Behold Sailor Moon Cosmos' version of Sailor Iron Mouse.

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She's at a Three Lights concert like this, and no one cares. Sure, it's Japan, but seriously, what?

Okay, so we get the full girls transformation sequence, then Uranus and Neptune show up, and Sailor Star Healer just obliterates Sailor Iron Mouse. One shot kill. Boom. No Chopin for you this time, Mouse. Bye! Good use of a villain. Well, villain. Mind dominated pawn, as it were, but who cares about makin such minutiae clear to the audience. Usagi remembers Mamoru being obliterated, but then just forgets. Can I have the original series back please? Please?

Chibi Chibi shows up, while Seiya is a creep and stalks Usagi. Why is everyone who is interested in Usagi a creepy stalker?

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Look at that, Haruka's boob job from Eternal went away, but she suddenly dresses like a teenage girl.

Usagi is on the school roof and writing a letter to Mamoru, and I was staring at it for a bit and went "man, her writing is really terrible", and then the Three Lights show up. Yaten looks at the letter and tells Usagi that her handwriting sucks. Well, I laughed. A little. Haruka shows up and tries to defend Usagi. She's wearing the same school uniform. Hello, hey, uhm, hey writers. Anyone, hello? Two seasons ago, these characters were university students, why are they at Usagi's High School now?

They all go to a concert, some stuff of no consequence happens, then Seiya finds Usagi on another rooftop, purely by coincidence. Sailor Aluminum Siren shows up and obliterates Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mercury. Poof. In return, Aluminum Siren gets oblibterated by Fighter's Star Gentle Uterus. 30 minutes down, two hours and ten minutes left. Please, release me from my pain. Can I make this go faster and still read the subtitles? Let's try 2.25x playback speed.

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Uranus b*tch-slapping Venus. Because why the hell not?

Hey look, I need to apologize to the writers of Sailor Stars. Haruka carrying the stupid ball and being all negative towards the Three Lights seems to be in the manga too. She threatens the three for absolutely no reason other than that they were on the roof too and helped with dealing with Aluminum Siren. Great. If nothing else, this is going to make me love Sailor Stars more than I already do.

Some plot stuff happens in fast-forward, Usagi forgets that Makoto and Ami died, nobody gives a flying fart about that, and she takes off to talk to friends of Mamoru to see if he contacted them. Which obivously they did not. Then there is this scene.

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Hush little Rei, we are alone on the roof. Just relax. Also, please do not mind that I am coming from volleyball practice and am probably all sweaty and stuff.

Quick question to anyone who has read up until here, tell me, do Japanese students really have access to the school's roof like that? Seems to me that in a land where suicide is as prevalent as in Japan, it might not be the best idea to present students with such an easy way to plunge to their deaths. Yes, that is actually what I am wondering about while Minako and Rei have their moment. Half a second later Minako is yapping about them finding boyfriends.

Half a second later, we are back to the, uhm, implied lesbian shenanigans.

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We don't need boys, they say.

Oh brain bleach, where art thou?

Lead Crow shows up at Rei's temple and it is revealed that Rei's crows are actually Sailor Phobos and Sailor Deimos. They are from Lead Crow's home planet. How does that make sense? It does not. Does that matter? No! Nothing matters in this pile of garbage. Lead Crow kills Phobos and Deimos, then fights Venus and Mars until Sailor Moon shows up and Lead Crow is annihilated by Sailor Honeymoon Therapy Kiss. Must be some therapy, eh?

You know, writers of this pile of garbage, you might want to think about adapting something in a way that makes sense. This is basically just stringing animated manga chapters together in a film and calling it a day. If that would work for a film, it would not have been released as a manga, but a freaking film script. Star Trek: Into Derpness is less disjointed than this. Galactica shows up and kills Venus and Mars in front of Sailor Moon. Well, at least that convinces Haruka to drop the idiot ball. Small steps.

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Meow.

Uranus, Neptune and Pluto return to their castles (for anyone who forgot about that, they're all princesses with castles) to technobabble some protective shield around the Solar System. You know, given that you have had a whole bunch of alien and interdimensional incursions in the past, oh, four years, wouldn't that shield have been useful all along? Why is it not turned on? Galactica kills Pluto in half a second. Hotaru teleports away (they can all teleport when necessary but they never teleport themselves out of harm's way, the writing of this is so bad), then Seiya and company just storm into Usagi's room through her window because that's how and where all the creeps come into her home, and Chibi Chibi transforms and the Starlight's princess shows up. That was like in one of the last episodes of the original anime before the final plot starts, and we are at roughly an hour (of 2:40) into the film.

No wonder the ending of the last season had pacing issues.

Tin Nyanko is trying to kill Luna, Artemis and Diana in their human forms. The cats survive the attack because reasons (no animals were harmed in the production of this film, except Iron Mouse, Lead Crow and, eh, never mind), there's some more dumb exposition from the Starlight's Princess, and she's basically drooling over Usagi, the mostest powerfulest of all the most powerful Sailor Senshi. Seiya kisses Usagi. I mean, she just kisses her, unbidden. Why is everyone in this series assaulting Usagi all the time? Mamoru when she was drunk and sleeping, Haruka in season three, now Seiya. For crying out loud.

1:08 into the film, and Galaxia meets Usagi and proceeds to obliterate Tokyo. So, basically, I am looking forward to what, an hour and twenty minutes of fighting Galaxia? Really? Is that a joke? Usagi had a vision of all her friends being dead. Seriously? What the hell, Uranus, Neptune and Saturn had an off-screen death? Are you kidding me, film?

Or maybe not. You could also just have Chibi Chibi deus ex machina away all the destruction. Yes, that just happened.

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This looks so bad it hurts staring at it.

Galaxia blows the planet up because it is trash - can't disagree with that assessment, just look at how awful that CGI is. Tin Nyanko shows up to apologize for failing, and Galaxia Dath Vaders her arse. Is it just me or is her end in the original series much better? Having her black and white conflict before being destroyed. Exposition dump explains that stars are forged in the Galaxy Cauldron at the center of the galaxy. Usagi resolves to find Galaxia and dispense justice. We all know murder death kill Usagi's justice. First half over. Yay!

Just how much of this insane manure riddled plot did the writers of the original anime drop?

The next half opens with Usagi leaving home and her mother ominously saying that it feels like she is never going to return.

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When Seiya saw Sailor Moon's rad wings, she wanted to have wings too.

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Wings! For everyone! Must have been a Halloween costume sale somewhere.

They're off to check what happend to Uranus and the others, and Pluto and Saturn get a flashback death. Take that Neptune and Uranus, you don't deserve nothing. Nothing. Usagi resolves to go to Saggitarius Zero Star, so basically the center of the galaxy. She's had it with Galaxia. Roll opening two.

Why? Just why?

Uhm, a giant CGI door opens and we meet someone new.

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Hello, I am Sailor Lethe, and your tour guide through a not quite accurate inspiration from Greek mythology.

A ferryman in the middle of a desert. Sure. It's okay. Usagi, just keep one thing in mind:

Usagi gets separated from everyone else, some weird girl shows up and finally kills Artemis, Luna and Diana. They even seem to disappear in the future of Chibi-Usa and Neo-Queen Serenity, just to drive home how dire the situation really is. Something's changing the past. Oh my. Chibi-Usa had it with people changing her life, and transforms, in come the Sailor Quartet, you know, the circus girls from the season with the pedophile horse guy.

Sailor Mnemosyne shows up and talks to Lethe. Exposition dump how Galaxia destroyed their homes and they joined her. The exposition explains that they're twins, the imagery of the film implies they're not just really good friends, but really, really good friends, if you catch my drift. They let everyone go. Okay.

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Sisters, close friends, lo... erm. Yeah. Because this crap just can't stop having creepy scenes, and someone really seems to like incest. Naoko, is that you?

Sailor Phi, who is Galaxia's gardener (no, really) shows up with Sailor Chi (uhm, also Sailor Galaxia's gardner) in tow. They can't have that betrayal and kill Lethe and Mnemosyne, and then the Starlights.

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Behold: Chaos.

Well, we get a look at Lord Chaos, Galaxia's master, who looks like generic evil being #25 from stockcgivillainimages.com.

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Moon, Chibi Chibi and Kakyuu (the Starlight's princess) walk into a graveyard. They are crucified and greeted by, well, I can't even type it. I just need to show you.

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I am so glad to be done with this soon.

Chibi Moon shows up and saves the day by just killing Sailor HEAVY METAL PAPILLON.

I'd sign a contract with Galaxia.

Well, they talk about how Chibi Chibi could be Chibi-Usa's daughter. You know, that would be less dumb than what Chibi Chibi really is (Sailor Cosmos, Sailor Moon's final form from the distant future). Phi and Chi show up and kill Kakyuu, Kakyuu and Sailor Moon share some last words, then Moon kills Chi. For some inane reason shadow copies of the Sailor Senshi show up to fight Sailor Moon. Not sure If I missed Phi dying in the fast forward action or if she just died off screen, but who gives a damn.

Mamoru shows up and orders the Senshi to kill Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon Shinjis it out by standing there. Chibi-Usa is the only one with half a brain and realizes that these are just fake shadow copies made by Galaxia, but it's not like Sailor Moon listens to her. Then she has a change of heart, gets a power up and just obliterates everyone. She chases Mamoru to Galaxia who proceeds to kiss her. Wow, how original, that's what BRACK RADY did in this idiotic series three seasons ago.

Galaxia gives some sob story about her cruel past (including an allusion to being raped) and then runs off to the Cauldron and Sailor Moon chases her. Galaxia throws everyone's crystals into the Cauldron, effectively killing them for real this time. Well, sort of. Maybe. Galaxia goes full level Bond villain and tells Sailor Moon her entire plan, Sailor Moon and Chaos will destroy each other and she will rule as the strongest Senshi left. With Mamoru gone, Chibi-Usa disappears before Chaos shows up and attacks Galaxia.

Good thing no one saw that coming, but Sailor Moon saves her. Chaos' eyes are now more of a purple hue. Why? Who knows. Who cares. Chaos also goes full Bond villain, and he tells Sailor Moon that he was behind all the evils she faced in the past. :yes: Sailor Moon talks to Galaxia. There's some exposition about life and death, the fate of the galaxy, and peace meaning that the galaxy must die (the source of everything destroyed, as it invariably creates light and dark, and thus, conflict). This philosophical part isn't half bad. It's half-baked and comes out of nowhere, but it's not terrible. Galaxia randomly kills herself because why not kill yourself after your miniature-redemption.

Sailor Moon is not into the whole peace through death thingy. Hands up, who saw that coming? Me neither.

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Blah, blah, blah, something, blah. Sailor Moon destroyed Chaos with OUR POWER COMBINED and turned into CAPTAIN PLANET, or something. Lambda power!

Well, maybe not into Captain Planet, but Sailor Moon just remerged Chaos with the Cauldron and herself, basically pushing the reset button, and everyone starts being reincarnated. Sailor Cosmos reveals herself as, well, Sailor Cosmos to the Quartet, the only ones who are still around.

Things get really surreal now, as Usagi wakes up wearing a night gown, with Mamoru and everyone else showing up, clad also in... nightgowns.

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Well, it beats Haruka's teenage girl getup from earlier, so that's something, I guess.

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Can you guys please make up your mind?

Oh, no.

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I am sailing, I am sailing, home again, 'cross the sea... yes please more of this ship. Yay. Ami x Makoto confirmed?!!?

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Guardian Cosmos shows up (why not make up characters at the eleventh hour, that is always a great choice) and sends everyone home. Credits roll, and I feel free. Since I am watching on 2.27x the regular speed, I feel like I can just let them run, only to discover, much to my dismay, that there is a post credit scene!

IT BURNS MY PRECIOUS. IT BURNS. NASTY. NASTY. OF ELVEN MAKE. IT BURNS.

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I am sorry, I can't come up with a caption for this.

Mamoru proposes to Usagi. Marriage. Usagi feels a new star born inside her. Yay! It is FINALLY over.

I AM FREE OF THIS. FOREVER FREE. If Toei ever decides to milk the franchise for more money, I hope nobody tells me.

One last word, out of everything Sailor Crystal, this was the least terrible entry. Not that it was a good film, mind you, but it was the better than Eternal and the first three seasons. You know, in the way that lung cancer is better than pancreatic or stomach cancer, because it will kill you slower and you have more time left.

Edited by majestic
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No mind to think. No will to break. No voice to cry suffering.

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I'm sure @majesticΒ is either an AI or gets paid per word πŸ˜‚

I'm sure at some point we had a cartoon thread that wasn't anime. I just can't seem to find it. Probably slipped back to page something 10 years ago πŸ€”

Anyway, I sometimes come across these Chikatoon's, which I think are Korean animations (the earliest ones I saw a few years ago was on a different channel iirc, and you had to manually select subtitles then. From this channel, English subs seems to be on by default)

Β 

β€œHe who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice.” - Albert Einstein

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Posted (edited)

Holy spoilers, Batman! I was planning on watching this, and you went and just ruined the whole thing.

. . .

Is what I would say if I had received a frontal lobotomy sometime within the last 24 hours.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Well, to be honest, Hotaru is a better choice than Pegasus the Pedophile Alicorn, and it is only natural after Hotaru's experiments with the crystal butt plug in season three, but why is this scene even there? We switch to everyone meeting at school, and by that I mean everyone. Haruka and Michiru are there, for no particular reason, and Setsuna is the school nurse. Sure, why not. Wait, wasn't she studying physis back in season three? Well, whatever.

That's perpetually my experience with modern anime: things that are clearly supposed to come across as being 'cute' to the viewer instead almost always seem some combination of manipulative, wrongheaded, and creepy/uncomfortable to me, which has the effect of taking me out of the whole thing really quick when I can palpably sense that I'm at odds with whatever I'm watching. Though there have always been hacks creating shows/movies while not knowing how or not wanting to put in the work to make something effective (usually instead using cheap shortcuts, or sometimes not even that!), I really feel like sensibilities for what's okay have changed to the point where I cannot cope.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Three minutes into the movie and I already want to kill myself.

I didn't think it was that bad...but I was watching it with my eyes squinted to the point where they were only one planck length open, which may have had something to do with it.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Oh. And now I have something to tortue @BartimaeusΒ with. Behold Sailor Moon Cosmos' version of Sailor Iron Mouse.

Honestly? From all the characters I've seen in your screenshots from this show, she looks the closest to her original design. Maybe seeing her in motion would change my mind, but she doesn't look nearly as weird or creepy as...uh, everyone else. I mean, just look at some of the main cast just one screenshot below this one, they all look like sneople. What an abominable art style, and what's scary is that it's so much better than the first season too!

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Okay, so we get the full girls transformation sequence, then Uranus and Neptune show up, and Sailor Star Healer just obliterates Sailor Iron Mouse. One shot kill. Boom. No Chopin for you this time, Mouse. Bye!

WHAT?!

Apparently, this more or less follows the original manga story: she appears and then she is immediately destroyed by the Sailor Starlights. It doesn't really make sense or work on any level, especially once you know that these corrupted Sailor Guardians have been brainwashed and actually are good (which the writers of the Sailor Stars season obviously recognized with how they and their fates were re-written), but that's Naoko's Takeuchi's (self-admitted) terrible writing for you. I suppose I can at least be thankful that she did appear for a page or two in the manga, because that lead to her being much more extensively used in the show.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

30 minutes down, two hours and ten minutes left. Please, release me from my pain. Can I make this go faster and still read the subtitles? Let's try 2.25x playback speed.

Oh man, I figured we were like at least an hour in at this point.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Half a second later, we are back to the, uhm, implied lesbian shenanigans.

The one you always hated was...Makoto and Ami, wasn't it? So they obliterated those two together and now are feeding into the other two? Ugh.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

This looks so bad it hurts staring at it.

I have seen more convincing planets in space in N64 games.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Is it just me or is her end in the original series much better? Having her black and white conflict before being destroyed.

Yeah, as mentioned above. I am a little confused as to whether these corrupt Sailor Guardians are actually supposed to be corrupt/brainwashed in the manga and this show, or whether that was an invention of the original TV show when they tried to flesh these characters out. And honest to god, the show doesn't even flesh them out that much, but the time spent with them doing all the silly episodic hijinks combined with the little bit of additional story about them does wonders for them in comparison to this trash. I guess if you don't read them as being brainwashed, and that they're more just "fallen" (i.e. willing) Sailor Guardians, it makes more sense that they just keep getting killed over and over, but it's still real bad.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Roll opening two.

Gosh, I miss Japanese lady voices from the 70s-90s: these are the same songs, but the voices just suck.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

Oh my. Chibi-Usa had it with people changing her life, and transforms, in come the Sailor Quartet, you know, the circus girls from the season with the pedophile horse guy.

You know, the Amazoness Quartet was probably my favorite part of SuperS...not that there was a ton of competition, given the bad writing for the main cast, the awful writing for Nehellenia, the wretched writing for the Amazon Trio, and the disgusting writing for Pegasus and Chibi-Usa. I thought they seemed to be the only part of that season that wasn't completely out of place when compared to the other seasons: they were pretty silly, fun, and overall harmless compared to everything else. I'm sure they were stupid in the manga and Crystal, though.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

I am sailing, I am sailing, home again, 'cross the sea... yes please more of this ship. Yay. Ami x Makoto confirmed?!!?

And there it is. Guess I did correctly remember that this was the one you hated.

7 hours ago, majestic said:

[story]

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7 hours ago, majestic said:

I AM FREE OF THIS. FOREVER FREE. If Toei ever decides to milk the franchise for more money, I hope nobody tells me.

Sorry, I can't make any promises.

Edited by Bartimaeus
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How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart.

In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance.

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14 hours ago, majestic said:

The End of Sailor Moon: Sailor Moon Cosmos.

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I have no words for this.

This travesty of a film is almost three hours long, and in order to save my sanity, I shall turn the playback to 2.0 speed.

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What in the everblazing infernos of Hell is that?

This post might have less screenshots than usual since it will be much harder to capture stuff at 2 times the regular playback speed. After a brief opening scene, the intro begins, and thankfully it is over really, really quickly. However, I felt the need to punish myself and go look for it on YouTube, because it needs to be seen to be believed. Well, and heard. Heard too.

Three minutes into the movie and I already want to kill myself.

Okay, so this begins with Usagi waking up, then leaving the house. Chibi-Usa and Hotaru are holding hands and are gossiping, and Usagi complains about them being awfully close, to which Hotaru replies that she and Mamoru are also holding hands like that.

Score one for the creepy romances. I mean if Chibi-Usa would have said that, it could have been her just teasing Usagi. Hotaru has no reason to tease Usagi. And, after not even five minutes, I already wish there would be actual brain bleach. Instead I will forever be stuck with the image of Hotaru and Chibi-Usa holding hands with Hotaru comparing it to Usagi and Mamoru.

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"The pain will only be passing. You should survive the process." -- Joneleth Irenicus

Well, to be honest, Hotaru is a better choice than Pegasus the Pedophile Alicorn, and it is only natural after Hotaru's experiments with the crystal butt plug in season three, but why is this scene even there? We switch to everyone meeting at school, and by that I mean everyone. Haruka and Michiru are there, for no particular reason, and Setsuna is the school nurse. Sure, why not. Wait, wasn't she studying physis back in season three? Well, whatever.

I already forgot the actual plot of the season from the manga, instead of Mamoru being hit by Galaxia's attack on the plane, this one happens right in front of Usagi's eyes. With Mamoru dead, Usagi falls into a catatonic stupor that nobody seems to notice. She tells everyone Mamoru arrived safely in the US, and everyone is just buying it. Chibi-Usa goes home, making the romance scene even dumber than it already was, and Minako sort of notices that Usagi is acting weird, but nothing comes of it.

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Oh. And now I have something to tortue @BartimaeusΒ with. Behold Sailor Moon Cosmos' version of Sailor Iron Mouse.

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She's at a Three Lights concert like this, and no one cares. Sure, it's Japan, but seriously, what?

Okay, so we get the full girls transformation sequence, then Uranus and Neptune show up, and Sailor Star Healer just obliterates Sailor Iron Mouse. One shot kill. Boom. No Chopin for you this time, Mouse. Bye! Good use of a villain. Well, villain. Mind dominated pawn, as it were, but who cares about makin such minutiae clear to the audience. Usagi remembers Mamoru being obliterated, but then just forgets. Can I have the original series back please? Please?

Chibi Chibi shows up, while Seiya is a creep and stalks Usagi. Why is everyone who is interested in Usagi a creepy stalker?

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Look at that, Haruka's boob job from Eternal went away, but she suddenly dresses like a teenage girl.

Usagi is on the school roof and writing a letter to Mamoru, and I was staring at it for a bit and went "man, her writing is really terrible", and then the Three Lights show up. Yaten looks at the letter and tells Usagi that her handwriting sucks. Well, I laughed. A little. Haruka shows up and tries to defend Usagi. She's wearing the same school uniform. Hello, hey, uhm, hey writers. Anyone, hello? Two seasons ago, these characters were university students, why are they at Usagi's High School now?

They all go to a concert, some stuff of no consequence happens, then Seiya finds Usagi on another rooftop, purely by coincidence. Sailor Aluminum Siren shows up and obliterates Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mercury. Poof. In return, Aluminum Siren gets oblibterated by Fighter's Star Gentle Uterus. 30 minutes down, two hours and ten minutes left. Please, release me from my pain. Can I make this go faster and still read the subtitles? Let's try 2.25x playback speed.

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Uranus b*tch-slapping Venus. Because why the hell not?

Hey look, I need to apologize to the writers of Sailor Stars. Haruka carrying the stupid ball and being all negative towards the Three Lights seems to be in the manga too. She threatens the three for absolutely no reason other than that they were on the roof too and helped with dealing with Aluminum Siren. Great. If nothing else, this is going to make me love Sailor Stars more than I already do.

Some plot stuff happens in fast-forward, Usagi forgets that Makoto and Ami died, nobody gives a flying fart about that, and she takes off to talk to friends of Mamoru to see if he contacted them. Which obivously they did not. Then there is this scene.

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Hush little Rei, we are alone on the roof. Just relax. Also, please do not mind that I am coming from volleyball practice and am probably all sweaty and stuff.

Quick question to anyone who has read up until here, tell me, do Japanese students really have access to the school's roof like that? Seems to me that in a land where suicide is as prevalent as in Japan, it might not be the best idea to present students with such an easy way to plunge to their deaths. Yes, that is actually what I am wondering about while Minako and Rei have their moment. Half a second later Minako is yapping about them finding boyfriends.

Half a second later, we are back to the, uhm, implied lesbian shenanigans.

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We don't need boys, they say.

Oh brain bleach, where art thou?

Lead Crow shows up at Rei's temple and it is revealed that Rei's crows are actually Sailor Phobos and Sailor Deimos. They are from Lead Crow's home planet. How does that make sense? It does not. Does that matter? No! Nothing matters in this pile of garbage. Lead Crow kills Phobos and Deimos, then fights Venus and Mars until Sailor Moon shows up and Lead Crow is annihilated by Sailor Honeymoon Therapy Kiss. Must be some therapy, eh?

You know, writers of this pile of garbage, you might want to think about adapting something in a way that makes sense. This is basically just stringing animated manga chapters together in a film and calling it a day. If that would work for a film, it would not have been released as a manga, but a freaking film script. Star Trek: Into Derpness is less disjointed than this. Galactica shows up and kills Venus and Mars in front of Sailor Moon. Well, at least that convinces Haruka to drop the idiot ball. Small steps.

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Meow.

Uranus, Neptune and Pluto return to their castles (for anyone who forgot about that, they're all princesses with castles) to technobabble some protective shield around the Solar System. You know, given that you have had a whole bunch of alien and interdimensional incursions in the past, oh, four years, wouldn't that shield have been useful all along? Why is it not turned on? Galactica kills Pluto in half a second. Hotaru teleports away (they can all teleport when necessary but they never teleport themselves out of harm's way, the writing of this is so bad), then Seiya and company just storm into Usagi's room through her window because that's how and where all the creeps come into her home, and Chibi Chibi transforms and the Starlight's princess shows up. That was like in one of the last episodes of the original anime before the final plot starts, and we are at roughly an hour (of 2:40) into the film.

No wonder the ending of the last season had pacing issues.

Tin Nyanko is trying to kill Luna, Artemis and Diana in their human forms. The cats survive the attack because reasons (no animals were harmed in the production of this film, except Iron Mouse, Lead Crow and, eh, never mind), there's some more dumb exposition from the Starlight's Princess, and she's basically drooling over Usagi, the mostest powerfulest of all the most powerful Sailor Senshi. Seiya kisses Usagi. I mean, she just kisses her, unbidden. Why is everyone in this series assaulting Usagi all the time? Mamoru when she was drunk and sleeping, Haruka in season three, now Seiya. For crying out loud.

1:08 into the film, and Galaxia meets Usagi and proceeds to obliterate Tokyo. So, basically, I am looking forward to what, an hour and twenty minutes of fighting Galaxia? Really? Is that a joke? Usagi had a vision of all her friends being dead. Seriously? What the hell, Uranus, Neptune and Saturn had an off-screen death? Are you kidding me, film?

Or maybe not. You could also just have Chibi Chibi deus ex machina away all the destruction. Yes, that just happened.

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This looks so bad it hurts staring at it.

Galaxia blows the planet up because it is trash - can't disagree with that assessment, just look at how awful that CGI is. Tin Nyanko shows up to apologize for failing, and Galaxia Dath Vaders her arse. Is it just me or is her end in the original series much better? Having her black and white conflict before being destroyed. Exposition dump explains that stars are forged in the Galaxy Cauldron at the center of the galaxy. Usagi resolves to find Galaxia and dispense justice. We all know murder death kill Usagi's justice. First half over. Yay!

Just how much of this insane manure riddled plot did the writers of the original anime drop?

The next half opens with Usagi leaving home and her mother ominously saying that it feels like she is never going to return.

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When Seiya saw Sailor Moon's rad wings, she wanted to have wings too.

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Wings! For everyone! Must have been a Halloween costume sale somewhere.

They're off to check what happend to Uranus and the others, and Pluto and Saturn get a flashback death. Take that Neptune and Uranus, you don't deserve nothing. Nothing. Usagi resolves to go to Saggitarius Zero Star, so basically the center of the galaxy. She's had it with Galaxia. Roll opening two.

Why? Just why?

Uhm, a giant CGI door opens and we meet someone new.

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Hello, I am Sailor Lethe, and your tour guide through a not quite accurate inspiration from Greek mythology.

A ferryman in the middle of a desert. Sure. It's okay. Usagi, just keep one thing in mind:

Usagi gets separated from everyone else, some weird girl shows up and finally kills Artemis, Luna and Diana. They even seem to disappear in the future of Chibi-Usa and Neo-Queen Serenity, just to drive home how dire the situation really is. Something's changing the past. Oh my. Chibi-Usa had it with people changing her life, and transforms, in come the Sailor Quartet, you know, the circus girls from the season with the pedophile horse guy.

Sailor Mnemosyne shows up and talks to Lethe. Exposition dump how Galaxia destroyed their homes and they joined her. The exposition explains that they're twins, the imagery of the film implies they're not just really good friends, but really, really good friends, if you catch my drift. They let everyone go. Okay.

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Sisters, close friends, lo... erm. Yeah. Because this crap just can't stop having creepy scenes, and someone really seems to like incest. Naoko, is that you?

Sailor Phi, who is Galaxia's gardener (no, really) shows up with Sailor Chi (uhm, also Sailor Galaxia's gardner) in tow. They can't have that betrayal and kill Lethe and Mnemosyne, and then the Starlights.

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Behold: Chaos.

Well, we get a look at Lord Chaos, Galaxia's master, who looks like generic evil being #25 from stockcgivillainimages.com.

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Moon, Chibi Chibi and Kakyuu (the Starlight's princess) walk into a graveyard. They are crucified and greeted by, well, I can't even type it. I just need to show you.

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I am so glad to be done with this soon.

Chibi Moon shows up and saves the day by just killing Sailor HEAVY METAL PAPILLON.

I'd sign a contract with Galaxia.

Well, they talk about how Chibi Chibi could be Chibi-Usa's daughter. You know, that would be less dumb than what Chibi Chibi really is (Sailor Cosmos, Sailor Moon's final form from the distant future). Phi and Chi show up and kill Kakyuu, Kakyuu and Sailor Moon share some last words, then Moon kills Chi. For some inane reason shadow copies of the Sailor Senshi show up to fight Sailor Moon. Not sure If I missed Phi dying in the fast forward action or if she just died off screen, but who gives a damn.

Mamoru shows up and orders the Senshi to kill Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon Shinjis it out by standing there. Chibi-Usa is the only one with half a brain and realizes that these are just fake shadow copies made by Galaxia, but it's not like Sailor Moon listens to her. Then she has a change of heart, gets a power up and just obliterates everyone. She chases Mamoru to Galaxia who proceeds to kiss her. Wow, how original, that's what BRACK RADY did in this idiotic series three seasons ago.

Galaxia gives some sob story about her cruel past (including an allusion to being raped) and then runs off to the Cauldron and Sailor Moon chases her. Galaxia throws everyone's crystals into the Cauldron, effectively killing them for real this time. Well, sort of. Maybe. Galaxia goes full level Bond villain and tells Sailor Moon her entire plan, Sailor Moon and Chaos will destroy each other and she will rule as the strongest Senshi left. With Mamoru gone, Chibi-Usa disappears before Chaos shows up and attacks Galaxia.

Good thing no one saw that coming, but Sailor Moon saves her. Chaos' eyes are now more of a purple hue. Why? Who knows. Who cares. Chaos also goes full Bond villain, and he tells Sailor Moon that he was behind all the evils she faced in the past. :yes: Sailor Moon talks to Galaxia. There's some exposition about life and death, the fate of the galaxy, and peace meaning that the galaxy must die (the source of everything destroyed, as it invariably creates light and dark, and thus, conflict). This philosophical part isn't half bad. It's half-baked and comes out of nowhere, but it's not terrible. Galaxia randomly kills herself because why not kill yourself after your miniature-redemption.

Sailor Moon is not into the whole peace through death thingy. Hands up, who saw that coming? Me neither.

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Blah, blah, blah, something, blah. Sailor Moon destroyed Chaos with OUR POWER COMBINED and turned into CAPTAIN PLANET, or something. Lambda power!

Well, maybe not into Captain Planet, but Sailor Moon just remerged Chaos with the Cauldron and herself, basically pushing the reset button, and everyone starts being reincarnated. Sailor Cosmos reveals herself as, well, Sailor Cosmos to the Quartet, the only ones who are still around.

Things get really surreal now, as Usagi wakes up wearing a night gown, with Mamoru and everyone else showing up, clad also in... nightgowns.

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Well, it beats Haruka's teenage girl getup from earlier, so that's something, I guess.

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Can you guys please make up your mind?

Oh, no.

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I am sailing, I am sailing, home again, 'cross the sea... yes please more of this ship. Yay. Ami x Makoto confirmed?!!?

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Guardian Cosmos shows up (why not make up characters at the eleventh hour, that is always a great choice) and sends everyone home. Credits roll, and I feel free. Since I am watching on 2.27x the regular speed, I feel like I can just let them run, only to discover, much to my dismay, that there is a post credit scene!

IT BURNS MY PRECIOUS. IT BURNS. NASTY. NASTY. OF ELVEN MAKE. IT BURNS.

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I am sorry, I can't come up with a caption for this.

Mamoru proposes to Usagi. Marriage. Usagi feels a new star born inside her. Yay! It is FINALLY over.

I AM FREE OF THIS. FOREVER FREE. If Toei ever decides to milk the franchise for more money, I hope nobody tells me.

One last word, out of everything Sailor Crystal, this was the least terrible entry. Not that it was a good film, mind you, but it was the better than Eternal and the first three seasons. You know, in the way that lung cancer is better than pancreatic or stomach cancer, because it will kill you slower and you have more time left.

Sounds like a trainwreck that got over 9000 kilos of liquefied **** dumped on it before being lit on fire. Uhhhh, man I'm struggling to say anything about this because it well and truly looks like a very bad time. Like you go from bad music to borderline pedophile stuff to bad cgi in loops until mercifully the credits roll and when you think you're finally through you get a post-credits scene of Tuxedo Kamen impregnating his teenage bride which is grounds to have everyone involved in making this get ora'ed or muda'ed. What the actual ****? If this was a dark seinen or josei like Madoka or Narutaru maybe that'd work, despite the dubious quality, but this is just damn creepy to see done unironically.

  • Haha 1

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"I'm gonna hunt you down so that I can slap you square in the mouth." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"YouΒ are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfullyΒ it seems like the creatorsΒ like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don'tΒ forgetΒ the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"AreΒ you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feralΒ camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"Am I phrasing in the most negative light for them? Yes, but it's not untrue." - ShadySands

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12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

Holy spoilers, Batman! I was planning on watching this, and you went and just ruined the whole thing.

You're welcome. :) Β 

12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

That's perpetually my experience with modern anime: things that are clearly supposed to come across as being 'cute' to the viewer instead almost always seem some combination of manipulative, wrongheaded, and creepy/uncomfortable to me, which has the effect of taking me out of the whole thing really quick when I can palpably sense that I'm at odds with whatever I'm watching. Though there have always been hacks creating shows/movies while not knowing how or not wanting to put in the work to make something effective (usually instead using cheap shortcuts, or sometimes not even that!), I really feel like sensibilities for what's okay have changed to the point where I cannot cope.

To be fair to this pile of garbage, which is really hard, that sort of creepy goes back to the olden days of pre-modern anime. This crap is a rather direct, unchanged adaptation from the source material.

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Actually, Sailor Moon Cosmos is so close to the source material that the best fan sub that is currently available was - supposedly - not made with the film, but rather with the one of the manga editions, and then just timed (and later retimed) with the film. If nothing else that makes the film a wonderful case study for what happens when you do not adapt source material, but transfer it 1:1 to the screen. It is a right mess.

12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

I didn't think it was that bad...but I was watching it with my eyes squinted to the point where they were only one planck length open, which may have had something to do with it.

It was the music of the intro that caused the reaction more than anything that happened in the film up to that point. Why does this horrible version of Moonlight Densetsu even exist? There are two far superior versions of the old anime to chose from.

12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

Apparently, this more or less follows the original manga story: she appears and then she is immediately destroyed by the Sailor Starlights. It doesn't really make sense or work on any level, especially once you know that these corrupted Sailor Guardians have been brainwashed and actually are good (which the writers of the Sailor Stars season obviously recognized with how they and their fates were re-written), but that's Naoko's Takeuchi's (self-admitted) terrible writing for you. I suppose I can at least be thankful that she did appear for a page or two in the manga, because that lead to her being much more extensively used in the show.

Β 

12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

Yeah, as mentioned above. I am a little confused as to whether these corrupt Sailor Guardians are actually supposed to be corrupt/brainwashed in the manga and this show, or whether that was an invention of the original TV show when they tried to flesh these characters out. And honest to god, the show doesn't even flesh them out that much, but the time spent with them doing all the silly episodic hijinks combined with the little bit of additional story about them does wonders for them in comparison to this trash. I guess if you don't read them as being brainwashed, and that they're more just "fallen" (i.e. willing) Sailor Guardians, it makes more sense that they just keep getting killed over and over, but it's still real bad.

No, no. This is what they used in the anime to flesh out the villains, actually. In this film and the manga, which is only explained later, and it was my mistake to assume that the original anime took that story bit from the manga (in hindsight, yes, that was pretty dumb, huh?), the Sailor Animamates (i.e. Iron Mouse, Aluminum Siren, Lead Crow, Tin Nyanko and Heavy Metal Papillon) aren't actually mind controlled Sailor Senshi. They're just mercenaries and traitors who joined Galaxia for the promise of power and have been granted the powers of actual Senshi through the bracelets they wear.

Phi, Chi, Lethe and Mnemosyne are real Sailor Senshi who joined Galaxia. Just not through mind control or force, but because they wanted to.

12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

The one you always hated was...Makoto and Ami, wasn't it? So they obliterated those two together and now are feeding into the other two? Ugh.

I hate Ami x Makoto more than Rei x Minako for the simple fact that it seems to be a fandumb favorite, constructed out of two freaking scenes of the original anime. One where Ami helps Makoto with studying for their high school exams and Makoto's rape episode from SuperS where Ami dances with her. You know, the episode where she waits ages for Tigereye (a man) to come back. That is the basis for this pairing, by far and large. Watch out, femoids of the world, the incels of the world will turn you into lesbians if you ever dance with a fellow femoid.

That is not to say that I don't despise Rei x Minako for the terrible framing in the manga, and thus, the film, I just loathe it less than Ami x Makoto.

These scenes with Minako in Crystal/the manga are pretty bad - the girls all have massively reduced character development due to the breakneck pacing of the chapters, and Minako being utterly boy-happy is one of the few things that make up her somewhat quirkier personality (as opposed to her earlier, much more serious version). Hinting at her hitting it off with Rei diminishes what little character development she gets in this.

Arguably even worse with Makoto whose only wish is to be accepted as a normal girl in a world that shuns her for non-conformity (taller than normal girls, stronger than normal girls, wavy instead of straight hair). Fantasy-shipping her off with Ami is just a giant middle finger to everything she represents and has to go through. F*ck you, fandumb.

Huh, look at me getting angry, I guess I am not completely dead inside from all of this yet. Go me!

12 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

I'm sure they were stupid in the manga and Crystal, though.

I don't think they are in there enough to matter. Just like everything else, they're an afterthought thrown in to fill chapters, even though they're more fleshed out than most of the villains.

5 hours ago, PK htiw klaw eriF said:

Sounds like a trainwreck that got over 9000 kilos of liquefied **** dumped on it before being lit on fire. Uhhhh, man I'm struggling to say anything about this because it well and truly looks like a very bad time. Like you go from bad music to borderline pedophile stuff to bad cgi in loops until mercifully the credits roll and when you think you're finally through you get a post-credits scene of Tuxedo Kamen impregnating his teenage bride which is grounds to have everyone involved in making this get ora'ed or muda'ed. What the actual ****? If this was a dark seinen or josei like Madoka or Narutaru maybe that'd work, despite the dubious quality, but this is just damn creepy to see done unironically.

Ah, the framing of the post-credit scene was a little unfair on my part, but I needed to strike back at the film. This just looks like what it looks like and isn't really what it looks like. It is just Mamoru kissing Usagi in bed after waking up, but the implication still lingers. I mean, Usagi can't get pregnant without the intercourse part, but to be honest, the stylized sex scene from season two was a lot worse. I mean, scenes like that in the first three seasons is what makes this film the best out of the bunch. The worst thing that happens with the regular cast is that creepy Hotaru stuff and Seiya kissing Usagi without consent.

It says a lot of the series and films - and the manga - that this is counting as the least terrible entry, huh?

Edited by majestic
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No mind to think. No will to break. No voice to cry suffering.

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Watched the 1997 version of the Berserk anime. Pretty good. Hilarious intro song, though. Definitively a monument of its time.

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"only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die."

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Β 

read and watch a lot less light novel and anime in recent year

but this is one of the more enjoyable light novel in recent years

first 3 episode of anime also looks pretty good

at this pace season 1 would likely include first 3 volume of light novel

the way it touch many issue within the voice actor industry are not too heavy but still enough for outsider to understand

Edited by uuuhhii
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On 4/25/2024 at 1:54 PM, majestic said:

It says a lot of the series and films - and the manga - that this is counting as the least terrible entry, huh?

Well it certainly isn't going to be worse than pedohorse grooming a preteen but....yeah I can believe it's the least bad. If only because it's shorter and the production values of the series looked like cat **** eaten by Bruno and puked up. I guess it's a miracle that the 90's show is what it is.

On 4/28/2024 at 2:12 PM, Lexx said:

Watched the 1997 version of the Berserk anime. Pretty good. Hilarious intro song, though. Definitively a monument of its time.

That song is great but incredibly misplaced. Imagine hearing "put your glasses on and nothing will be wrong" during the ****ing Eclipse.

"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"I'm gonna hunt you down so that I can slap you square in the mouth." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"YouΒ are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfullyΒ it seems like the creatorsΒ like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don'tΒ forgetΒ the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"AreΒ you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feralΒ camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"Am I phrasing in the most negative light for them? Yes, but it's not untrue." - ShadySands

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gundam the witch from mercury

just finished all 2 season

main character actually have interesting personalityΒ 

side character are many and mostly handled well

combat scene are good but can be a little too flashy and hard to read in last few episode

enjoy season 1 far more than 2

the ending make little sense like many other popular anime

might even watch it again someday

Edited by uuuhhii
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