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The funny things thread Part 2

Rosbjerg

By Rosbjerg
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Raithe

Raithe

Posted
Posted

And for another..

 

The Tobuscus

trailer.. has achieved more views on YouTube then the "real" AC Brotherhood trailer..

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Walsingham

Walsingham

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A little bit amusing.. but strangely "aww" at the same time..

 

Lost penguin ends up on New Zealand beach..

 

Failpenguin.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Tale

Tale

Posted
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A little bit amusing.. but strangely "aww" at the same time..

 

Lost penguin ends up on New Zealand beach..

 

Failpenguin.

I'd like to see you swim from Antarctica to New Zealand. That penguin is a god among birds.
"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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Orogun01

Orogun01

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A little bit amusing.. but strangely "aww" at the same time..

 

Lost penguin ends up on New Zealand beach..

 

Failpenguin.

I'd like to see you swim from Antarctica to New Zealand. That penguin is a god among birds.

Maybe he flew? :p

I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

village_idiot.gif

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Walsingham

Walsingham

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Old skool conspiracy theories, including why FOX is satan, proven using numbers.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Walsingham

Walsingham

Posted
Posted
Old skool conspiracy theories, including why FOX is satan, proven using numbers.

 

Obama is the antichrist - because he got a dog and Sirius the dog-star is somehow related to.. which means.. that he.. SATAN!

 

You have to love the logic of these guys.

 

I know. Proper conspiracy theorists. None of your lame out of date engineers and faulty equations for these chaps. These are real men. True heroes of mentalism.

 

"The UN building is made from satanically slaughtered goat blood! Why? Because the architect got married in a church with a masonic symbol on the wall! And the masons themselves were tutored in how to make buildings by space lizards! Why? Because only a lizard would make St Paul's cathedral into the shape of a mammalian teat! They're mocking us, do you hear?" (I just made this up, before anyone quotes me. But I'm sure it's true.)

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Raithe

Raithe

Posted
Posted (edited)

After much pondering, I considered the balance of what Fox and many others say..and thought I'd stick this in the funny things thread.. :thumbsup:

 

New Study Says Games are to Blame for the Decrease in US Crime

 

 

Edit:

And on a seperate note .. It could happen..

 

The I-Evolution

Edited by Raithe

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Raithe

Raithe

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Posted

A selection of important RPG rules for any campaign...

 

1. Cannot base characters off the Who's drummer Keith Moon.

2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.

3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery.

6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.

8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.

9. My monk's lips must be in sync.

15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A.

16. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.

17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.

26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.

27. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000.

34. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci.

43. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.

47. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.

48. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.

50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.

52. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas.

57. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.

58. Expended ammunition is not a business expense.

77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk.

81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon.

90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay

93. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar for a mount again.

112. If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane.

116. Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown.

122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal.

123. Not allowed to forget to mention traps when the powergamer has point.

134. The King's Guards official name is not "The Royal Order of the Red Shirt"

138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it.

144. There is no such thing as pleather armor.

148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.

149. Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory.

161. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.

171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"

173. I am not allowed to recreate Veers' March of the AT-ATs on Zhentil Keep.

189. Tourretes is not a flaw, it is a reason to kill the character at creation.

190. Duel wielding small animals is strictly forbidden.

191. My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett. This goes double for Star Wars characters.

207. The following weapons are not legal choices in a duel: Steamroller, Nerve Gas, Landmine, Midget.

211. If at any point if my dwarf takes on the mannerisms of Macho Man Randy Savage, he dies.

237. Not allowed to use more than 3 words per game that the GM has to look up the definition.

244. Not allowed to taunt the rest of the party in 8 different languages because they forgot to take any.

249. If a black op requires me to impersonate an employee, I cannot bill the target for overtime.

262. When the GM forces the plot, I cannot make choo-choo noises.

278. Anything the DM has to ponder the full impact of for more than a minute is forbidden.

285. I am not from Margaritaville, and even if I was, that doesn't excuse the hawaiian shirt and lawn chair during the dress inspection.

293. Clowns shoes have no place in a dungeon crawl.

297. I cannot hand out artillery flares to the bad guys on New Years and tell them they are roman candles

321. The monk's official title is Brother of the Lotus Path. Not the Slap Hap

342. After the first adventure I cannot write a tell all book about the party.py Jappy.

352. When I choose my wizard's familar, Belgians are not a legal choice.

363. When challenged to a showdown, I'm meant to face him at 10 paces with pistols, not 10 blocks with a Sharpe's Big .50.

365. Not allowed to setup the main villain with the mad scientist's sister.

390. My character's background must be more indepth than a montage of Queen lyrics.

412. I will not try to skip to the main boss dressed like a singing telegram.

427. I cannot do anything I saw Jackie Chan do once. Even if I am in Home Depot at the moment.

443. Zombies are not infectious in D&D. So I should stop shooting PCs in the head if they are bitten.

450. When told to distract the villainess, they didn't mean with a surprise marriage proposal.

452. Not allowed to convince the entire party to base the group only off Gary Oldman characters.

467. There is no 'accidentally' slipping a Smite Evil into a pillow fight.

469. If I wake up to find black cloaked figures in my room, I will not immediately point them to the halflings' room.

472. When my cleric is told to "Buff the Elf", I know exactly what it means and may not miscontrue it in any way.

494. I will not use a time machine to invade Germany on September 2, 1939 by surprise, securing Dutch domination of Europe.

497. If somebody in the party has a Wisdom or Intelligence lower than 8, I am forbidden from talking to them.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Raithe

Raithe

Posted
Posted

The thing was.. I recognised several of these as relevant to house rules/traditions we evolved.. Makes me wonder just how many people had the same. :)

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Tale

Tale

Posted
Posted

If you like Mr. Welch's list, also check out Skippy's list of things he's not allowed to do in the Army. It inspired Mr. Welch/TheGlen.

 

http://skippyslist.com/list/

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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