Yahtzee reviews

[Magister Lajciak]

Mirror's Edge: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/vie...57-Mirrors-Edge

 

I found this one to be particularly funny, but it might be just that I have been missing these reviews after taking a few week hiatus.

I agree with some of his points, namely when the developers just decided in the game to make you kill every soldier in the area just to keep moving. But the ones about not really explaining things (particularly what you were carrying) I'm annoyed at because he seems to have not watched the cut scenes or taken the game anywhere beyond the first level as the first level is the only one where the message you were carrying was unexplained and the police chase seemed to be for no good reason. After that the cops just chase faith because she is a suspect in a criminal investigation, and most levels she's not even carrying a message. Personally I liked the game, And if EA had some better combat in the thing it might actually be a pretty good contender, but as it is with combat that is harder to play than Contra without codes and a few pants on head retarded puzzle, I think overall it's a pretty average game for most people.

 

His review always mocks the game he is reviewing - that's part of the entertainment value.

 

Oh, and I am not the only person who remembers Contra? I enjoyed that game back in the day!

[Hurlshort]

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, start!

[Deraldin]

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, start!

 

You fool! It's not up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, start! It's up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A! Start isn't part of the code.

[Pop]

Left 4 Dead

 

The lead-in's funny, considering L4D's actual origins.

[Hurlshort]

up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, start!

 

You fool! It's not up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, a, b, start! It's up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A! Start isn't part of the code.

 

Dweeb :D

[Deraldin]

Left 4 Dead

 

The lead-in's funny, considering L4D's actual origins.

I laughed. First ZP to get me to do more than smile in quite some time. Loved the hoover sidekick.

 

Dweeb :D

I've never actually used the code before, but it's somehow drilled itself into my brain.

[Meshugger]

That's actually a pretty good review. While it didn't convince me to buy it, atleast i now understand the positives and negatives in plain 'ole dumbspeak.

[Maria Caliban]

I can tell Yahtzee is not bitter about paying $100 for a video game.

 

I have to say though that if a video game did anything other than grant me enlightenment, or caused multiple orgasm whenever I played it, I'd be bitter about paying $100 for it as well.

[mkreku]

Just press the left mouse button as fast as possible... nothing that insane about it. That every fight is random win/loss does suck some though . Save lots.

Not really. Just spend lots and lots of skill points on boosting your hitpoints. The healing stuff is percentage based so they heal as much whether you have 50 hp or 500 hp. The damage done to you by enemies is always the same though so what kills you in one hit when you have 50 hp takes ten hits when you have 500. And it will still only take one healing potion to get up to full health.

[Calax]

I can tell Yahtzee is not bitter about paying $100 for a video game.

 

I have to say though that if a video game did anything other than grant me enlightenment, or caused multiple orgasm whenever I played it, I'd be bitter about paying $100 for it as well.

IIRC he gets money from the Escapist for all his games, or he writes em off as a job expense.

[Maria Caliban]

I can tell Yahtzee is not bitter about paying $100 for a video game.

 

I have to say though that if a video game did anything other than grant me enlightenment, or caused multiple orgasm whenever I played it, I'd be bitter about paying $100 for it as well.

IIRC he gets money from the Escapist for all his games, or he writes em off as a job expense.

 

That's what I'd assume. It would make no sense for a professional reviewer to pay for all of his games, but as often as he brings up the cost of games and complains about having to pay for them, it makes me wonder.

[Hell Kitty]

Games in Australia have been this expensive for a long time (the first game I ever bought with my own money was Donkey Kong on SNES, and it was $80), so it's probably just general bitching about the situation here.

[mkreku]

I can tell Yahtzee is not bitter about paying $100 for a video game.

 

I have to say though that if a video game did anything other than grant me enlightenment, or caused multiple orgasm whenever I played it, I'd be bitter about paying $100 for it as well.

IIRC he gets money from the Escapist for all his games, or he writes em off as a job expense.

 

That's what I'd assume. It would make no sense for a professional reviewer to pay for all of his games, but as often as he brings up the cost of games and complains about having to pay for them, it makes me wonder.

The way it works is that you have to let every known distributor know you exist, promote your site as being bigger than it really is and hope they'll put you on their mail-out list. If they do (and consider you big enough), you'll get sent review copies of the games a few days before release. Sometimes you get them sent late (if some huge magazine/online site wants exclusivity) and sometimes not at all (Rockstars games usually only get sent to the biggest ones). When you don't get them sent home to you, you either pirate them (which is risky because in Sweden they check up on companies and their licenses from time to time) or buy them yourself.

[Maria Caliban]

The way it works is that you have to let every known distributor know you exist, promote your site as being bigger than it really is and hope they'll put you on their mail-out list. If they do (and consider you big enough), you'll get sent review copies of the games a few days before release. Sometimes you get them sent late (if some huge magazine/online site wants exclusivity) and sometimes not at all (Rockstars games usually only get sent to the biggest ones). When you don't get them sent home to you, you either pirate them (which is risky because in Sweden they check up on companies and their licenses from time to time) or buy them yourself.

 

That

[Pop]

I don't think online review sites, even relatively well-regarded ones like the Escapist, have that kind of money. They likely provide the systems necessary to play the games (Yahtzee played Crysis on a high-end rig provided by the Escapist, for example) but covering the cost of games might be too much. Maybe they go halfsies?

 

Maybe we can get Matt Rorie in here to tell us how many free samples Obsidz gives out to reviewers, and which ones get them in particular.

Edited December 11, 2008 by Pop

[Maria Caliban]

I don't think online review sites, even relatively well-regarded ones like the Escapist, have that kind of money. They likely provide the systems necessary to play the games (Yahtzee played Crysis on a high-end rig provided by the Escapist, for example) but covering the cost of games might be too much. Maybe they go halfsies?

 

Maybe we can get Matt Rorie in here to tell us how many free samples Obsidz gives out to reviewers, and which ones get them in particular.

 

True. They may just pay him and he gets to write off the cost of games as a business expense.

[Calax]

I can tell Yahtzee is not bitter about paying $100 for a video game.

 

I have to say though that if a video game did anything other than grant me enlightenment, or caused multiple orgasm whenever I played it, I'd be bitter about paying $100 for it as well.

IIRC he gets money from the Escapist for all his games, or he writes em off as a job expense.

 

That's what I'd assume. It would make no sense for a professional reviewer to pay for all of his games, but as often as he brings up the cost of games and complains about having to pay for them, it makes me wonder.

The way it works is that you have to let every known distributor know you exist, promote your site as being bigger than it really is and hope they'll put you on their mail-out list. If they do (and consider you big enough), you'll get sent review copies of the games a few days before release. Sometimes you get them sent late (if some huge magazine/online site wants exclusivity) and sometimes not at all (Rockstars games usually only get sent to the biggest ones). When you don't get them sent home to you, you either pirate them (which is risky because in Sweden they check up on companies and their licenses from time to time) or buy them yourself.

really early in the halo review he mentions that the escapist is buying all his games for him

 

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/vie...uation/8-Halo-3

[Deraldin]

Sonic Unleashed

 

[Killian Kalthorne]

http://www.gamedamage.net/

 

[Purkake]

http://www.gamedamage.net/

 

 

Yeah, I think I'll stay as far away from that as possible and enjoy Zero Punctuation. Seriously, who the hell are those 2 weird guys?

[Gorth]

Sonic Unleashed

 

"He doesn't need another game, he needs help"

 

Edit: Disclaimer - I've never played any Sonic games.

[WILL THE ALMIGHTY]

http://www.gamedamage.net/

 

 

Yeah, I think I'll stay as far away from that as possible and enjoy Zero Punctuation. Seriously, who the hell are those 2 weird guys?

Yug and Matt from AustralianGamer.com.

 

Yahtzee occasionally does podcasts with them, and they're pretty interesting to listen to. I'd prefer if we didn't have to see their faces though the show is pretty decent.

[Purkake]

http://www.gamedamage.net/

 

 

Yeah, I think I'll stay as far away from that as possible and enjoy Zero Punctuation. Seriously, who the hell are those 2 weird guys?

Yug and Matt from AustralianGamer.com.

 

Yahtzee occasionally does podcasts with them, and they're pretty interesting to listen to. I'd prefer if we didn't have to see their faces though the show is pretty decent.

 

Yeah seeing Yahtzee look at you with his cold stare does not make for good TV.

[GreasyDogMeat]

Sonic Unleashed

 

"He doesn't need another game, he needs help"

 

Edit: Disclaimer - I've never played any Sonic games.

 

Never played any of the newer '3d' versions, but the original Sega Genesis Trilogy was amazing and made that fat plumber Mario look like... well... a fat plumber. Being able to combine the Sonic 3 cartridge with the Sonic & Knuckles cartridge was especially awesome and created a mega game.

[Meshugger]

Sonic Unleashed

 

 

Oh dear, how the mighty Sonic have fallen.