The Funny Stuff thread

[algroth]

[algroth]

Also for extra nightmare points:

 

[InsaneCommander]

I just hope my player does not picked hardcore mode and save frequently

 

That is easy to know. How frequently do you find yourself staring at the fridge?

 

Oh, and some of those times are actually reloads.

[Raithe]

[Raithe]

[teknoman2]

[LittleArmadillo0]

[Raithe]

 

Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?"

Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:

 

"A ...few things spring to mind.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

 

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.

I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

 

And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.

Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.

Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.

 

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, **** Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.

He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

 

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.

There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.

 

So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

 

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of ****. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

 

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.

He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.

 

In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:

'My God… what… have… I… created?

If being a **** was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set."

[Raithe]

[Keyrock]

There's no guarantee the person taking the picture is a guy. Also, there are such things as cameras you can set on a timer.

 

Edit: Also, "third guy" implies that both people in bed are male. 

Edited February 14, 2019 by Keyrock

[LittleArmadillo0]

The camera man doesn't bother me. What I am confused at is the view the couple are looking at. I feels fake to me, like they photo shopped the background in.

[Mirandel]

 

Someone asked "Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?"

Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response:

 

"A ...few things spring to mind.

Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.

For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace - all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.

So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

 

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing - not once, ever.

I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility - for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is - his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

 

And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults - he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.

Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.

Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.

 

And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, **** Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.

He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

 

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.

There are unspoken rules to this stuff - the Queensberry rules of basic decency - and he breaks them all. He punches downwards - which a gentleman should, would, could never do - and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless - and he kicks them when they are down.

 

So the fact that a significant minority - perhaps a third - of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think 'Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

* You don't need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

 

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of ****. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

 

God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.

He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.

 

In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws - he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:

'My God… what… have… I… created?

If being a **** was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set."

 

 

I wonder... Does Nate White consider his response "classy, charming, cool, credible, compassionate, witty, warm, wise, subtle, sensitive, full of self-awareness, humble, honourable and graceful? After all, he is British and should esteem all those qualities. Well can be, though, that he meant such qualities has to be demonstrated by anyone else but British people and they only reserve the right for esteeming them. From afar.

[Gfted1]

Heh, I was thinking the exact same thing. But as we know, rules NEVER apply to self when the butthurt has set in.

[injurai]

 

Man's best friend is a dog

[LittleArmadillo0]

[Zoraptor]

Raithe trigg'ring fools like a boss, but anyway...

 

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.

Trolls are frequently hilarious, just not to those who are targeted by them.
 

We see it as having no inner world, no soul.
 
And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, **** Whittington, Oliver Twist.

 
Wow, British heroes are all... uh, fictional?
 
Which would be the single most pathetic thing ever, if Britain were so bereft of heroes they have to resort to literal fiction to find any. Of course, actually write down a list of British heroes and you get a different, but problematic, set of results which is why you get a list here of made up idealised people, from fiction.

 

To be fair, some on the British hero list would be like David; it was later King David, after all.
 

He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

Yep, whoever wrote this had no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion (OK, no evidence either way really), no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness (to quote the great philosopher Daniel Bryan: "Yes! Yes! Yes!"), no humility, no honour and no grace.
 

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.

 
...
 
Yes, the British Empire... happened... because... the British... hate... bullies...
 
:roflcopters"
 
..."no self-awareness"

 

And let's be honest here, any list of actually existed British heroes will have an awful number of objective bullies on it, that's just the nature of such things.
 

Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

lolwut? You can argue niceness vs politeness I guess, but even then, lolwut? Can't even keep the clichés straight.
 

[stuff]

Gotta be frank, it reads like he has his head rammed up his fundamental alimentary egress port. And I don't even disagree with the gist of it, Trump's a prize knob much like all politicians and worse than most. That, however, is the sort of hypocritical diatribe which is squarely aimed at making the writer feel superior, it's basically masturbation in written form and the writer lacks even the most basic ability to self edit for consistency. Him accusing anyone else- even Trump- of having no self awareness is ludicrous.

 

On the positive side, every British hero being fictional was pretty funny as was the British hating bullies, even if were utterly unintentionally funny. Kind of wish it were trolling, as it would work decently that way.

Edited February 15, 2019 by Zoraptor

[rjshae]

[Raithe]

[Malcador]

Meh. Should have taken them away permanently.

[Maedhros]

[LittleArmadillo0]

Communist jokes are only funny if everybody laughs.

[injurai]

[Raithe]

[Raithe]

[Raithe]