Raithe

1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: “No, I’m travelling light.” 2. “Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?” 3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog. 4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: “Hello, I’d like a beer.” The barman replies: “Hello, you’d like a beer?” “Yes,” replies the TCP packet, “I’d like a beer.” 5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: “Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour?” The electron goes: “Oh great, now I’m lost.” 6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: “Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!” 7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish. 8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that don’t. 9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg. 10. The barman says: “We don’t serve faster-than-light particles here.” A tachyon enters a bar. 11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything”. The monk gives the vendor a 20 bill and then asks for change. The vendor answers: "Change must come from within." 12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder. 13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men can’t see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: “Can you see me now?” The four men answer: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Si.” “Ja.” 14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything. 15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it’s a hardware problem. 16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: “Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?” 17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality. 18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gödel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: “Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if it’s funny or not?” Gödel replies: “We can’t know that because we’re inside the joke.” Chomsky says: “Of course it’s funny. You’re just telling it wrong.” 19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.” 20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now. 21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: “What’ll it be, boys?” The first mathematician: “I’ll have one half of a beer.” The second mathematician: “I’ll have one quarter of a beer.” The third mathematician: “I’ll have one eight of a beer.” The fourth mathematician: “I’ll have one sixteenth of a…” The bartender interrupts: “Know your limits, boys” as he pours out a single beer. 22. What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot. 23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French café, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The waitress replies: “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?” 24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?” 25. A programmer’s wife tells him: “Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen.” The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom. I'd say it was fairly nicely done. Some of the background music picks up the emotional aspects, and Idris Elba works hard to carry the role as they travel through Mandela's life.

Well, between a disturbed nights sleep, that wake up, doze off, wake up, doze off, repeat cycle... and my sister dropping off her big dog here when work takes her out of town for a couple of days.. I'm feeling a bit worn. Kind of sat with a pile of work notes, assorted documents to read, and a bundle of emails about it all, and trying to get my mind to organise what the first steps are that I need to do.

Morrowind was the first Elder Scrolls game I ever played. The sandbox and background lore pulled me in, I dabbled with various mods, and spent a long time just enjoying the hell out of it, even with the somewhat bleh combat. On the strength of that I pre-ordered Oblivion. And was struck dumb by the sheer horror and soul-destroying nature of that game. I've never been able to finish it. The storyline wasn't interesting, the characters were bland, and the daedric gates just.. yeah. I've never understood why so many people seem to have loved it. The mechanics weren't any better, and the world while technically impeccable and pretty, just drained me of a will to live.

DHL pranked UHL into advertising for them http://youtu.be/vHVWegNfQl0

To be fair, I've often noted the autotarget has a habit of jumping to any CC'd enemies as the guy you were targeting died. And quite often that's just as you're hitting a button to send an attack and you find that original target is dead and the attack's occurred before you can control that target switch...

Getting really stressed out with Splinter Cell Conviction. Okay, so it encourages stealthy and thoughtful gameplay by making it so you die after being shot 2 or 3 times. They then stick you in a full frontal assault with a time constraint to get past security doors, one basic channel to go through, and a non-skippable 15 second cut scene to start it. Oh, plus you don't get to sort out grenades or weapons before, but if you take time to try doing so when it starts you get shot to buggery by the guards. So it's walk up to the desk, 15 seconds of cutscene. Jump over the desk, attempt to run forward - guard with shotgun shoots at you , possibly killing you before you get to the wall to find cover. So.. starts again. Walk up to desk, 15 second cutscene, jump over desk, run forward only getting shot once, cover at the wall, manage to shoot that guard.. by which time the security doors are locked and you start over. Walk up to desk. 15 second cutscene, jump over desk, run forward managing not to get killed, try slipping past that guard to reach the door.. get shot in the back. Start again. Walk up to desk. 15 second cutscene, jump over desk, run forward managing not to get killed, manage a quick headshot on that guard, slip past first security door before it closes, head towards the second as it starts to slide down.. two guards appear with shotguns and as you try to reach cover they kill you. Start again. Walk up to desk. 15 second cutscene, jump over desk, run forward managing not to get killed, manage a quick headshot on that guard, slip past first security door before it closes, head towards the second as it starts to slide down.. Try using cover to get to that door.. two guards appear.. door closes before you can reach it.. Start again.

Science and Art meet.. to Shoot Kate Upton in a Bikini.. in Zero Gravity.

Woke up this morning with a fragment of an idea for work. So I laid there in bed for nearly an hour as I was chasing it around, trying to structure it out and wotnot. I sit up, get dressed, pull out the notepad and pen to jot notes down.. and it's like "Bastard! Where did those memories go!" and I pull a blank on all that I'd been thinking about.

http://youtu.be/tuWJyxqbFPc

So how many of you watched the original UK House of Cards? Ian Richardson as Francis Urquhart - So Kevin Spacey's role, but tall, gaunt, white haired, with that cold and precise English accent and ever so pleased delightful smirk as he makes the asides to the camera. http://youtu.be/nwpyaijXMIk

From a nice little anecdote a friend was telling me about: Her 15 yr old daughter wandered into her room to ask something, paused, then did a "Mom, the drawer on that cabinet is open and it looks like your ball gag is about to fall out." She turned around, fixed her daughter with a stare and promptly asked "How do you know what a ball gag is?" The daughter said almost at the same time "Mom, why do you have a ball gag?" She said there was this moment of silence as they looked at each other, and then both pretty much did a version of "This isn't a conversation we want going anywhere, lets just rewind and start over."

http://youtu.be/Mqyvl_EtlHk

http://youtu.be/wbjeJ5nWWF4 "If you haven't watched Castle.. I'm not offended, but it's safe to say I'm a pretty big deal to your mom"

Went out for a few drinks and conversation with some friends. Got told by one of them, that when they have to describe me to people they say that I'm "a cross between Herr Flick of the Gestapo from 'Allo, Allo, and Nathon Fillion in Castle.."

Settled into bed with some hot chocolate and a book last night.. and instead of just a chapter or three.. I ended up reading through the whole night. Realised it had gone 9am.. and managed to snooze for a couple of hours.

Fairly different from that. Almost Human is a sci-fi cop show. Set in the near future, a cop who dislikes robots ends up with a cyborg leg, and an old model android partner (the model removed from service due to being designed to develop "emotions"). It has Karl Urban as the main cop and Michael Ealy as the android. Fairly pulp noir in a cyberpunkish-setting. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2654580/ As for 24.. The premise was good. But as they kept doing new seasons it kind of went from "Highly Competent Agent Baur leads a competent team" to "James-Bond Style Agent Baur with some help" to "Super Agent Baur with sidekicks" to "Superman Baur and his tag-alongs"

Well this 24 isn't actually going to be 24 episodes. They're actually compressing time so that 24 hours will be shown in about 6 or so episodes if I remember rightly...

Eh, I've known a few cos-players. Frankly it's no more silly then a lot of other things. People get frantic to get up in the soccer/hockey/football gear of their teams in fanatical manners. Tech geeks get focused on their hardware.. Some branches of fandom enjoy making costumes and dressing up in that.. It's all to the good, I never see any point in disparaging folks unless they try to shove it down my throat. Oh, or unless they're mad golfers. That annoys me.

Just because..