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Well, technically isn't the Guns of the Magnificent Seven and The Magnificent Seven Ride count more as sequels that just re-tread the same ground rather than "remakes" ?

 

Still the circle that amuses me is the Yojimobo one.

 

Yojimbo was written inspired by a Dashiel Hammett book that was set in a prohibition era USA ghost town.  Yojimbo got the "Hollywood remake" as it were with A Fistful of Dollars. Then back in the 90's, A Fistful of Dollars was remade with Bruce Willis as Last Man Standing.. set in a prohibition era USA ghost down.  So the remake of the remake was actually closer to the original story that started it all..

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Its been awhile since I've seen the sequels, but my memory is they are all variations on the Mag7 plot.

 

Yeah the Yojimbo circle is funny (the plot resembles Hammett's RED HARVEST, IIRC, but Kurowsawa said it was based on Hammett's THE GLASS KEY). A Fistful of Dollars though was an Italian film not a Hollywood one.  Hollywood did adapt RED HARVEST as Roadhouse Nights (1930) and THE GLASS KEY (1935 and 1942).

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io9 - Hasbros Cinematic Universe has one hell of a writer's room

 

 


Remember those crazy plans to bring a bunch of Hasbro toy properties like G.I. Joe, Micronauts, and Rom into one hot, trendy cinematic universe? Well, those plans just took a huge step forward with the creation of a writers room that is filled with an absurd amount of talent for a movie franchise based around a bunch of ‘80s action figure.

 

Seriously, that’s not necessarily a knock on Hasbro’s movie universe (which will also include M.A.S.K. and Visionaries) but a testament to the almost obscene amount of talent that has been brought together for the writer’s room under the guidance of Akiva Goldsman. Look at this list:

 
  • The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay writer Michael Chabon
  • Y: The Last Man and Saga’s Brian K. Vaughan
  • Guardians of the Galaxy and Captain Marvel co-writer Nicole Perlman
  • Lindsey Beer, who’s penning the Kingkiller Chronicles movie adaptation
  • Luke Cage showrunner Cheo Coker
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming writers John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein
  • Black Panther writer Joe Robert Cole
  • Jeff Pinkner, who wrote script for The Dark Tower
  • Blacklist scriptwriter Nicole Riegel
  • Geneva Robertson, currently writing the Tomb Raider movie reboot

Holy moly. Brian K. Vaughan on Rom please? Pretty please?

Obviously, this doesn’t stop us from being completely unconcerned about Hasbro’s movie universe plans—I’m not sure there are many people out there really clamoring for a Visionaries cinematic experience—but it certainly makes us a lot more interested in seeing what comes from it.

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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-snip-

 

That said, there's a difference between remaking a classic and retelling it in a different setting. A good story deserves to be explored through different media and in different contexts.

Pure remakes tend to be lazy and full of contemporary irrelevancy though.

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Fortune favors the bald.

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io9 - Hasbros Cinematic Universe has one hell of a writer's room

 

 

Remember those crazy plans to bring a bunch of Hasbro toy properties like G.I. Joe, Micronauts, and Rom into one hot, trendy cinematic universe? Well, those plans just took a huge step forward with the creation of a writers room that is filled with an absurd amount of talent for a movie franchise based around a bunch of ‘80s action figure.

 

Seriously, that’s not necessarily a knock on Hasbro’s movie universe (which will also include M.A.S.K. and Visionaries) but a testament to the almost obscene amount of talent that has been brought together for the writer’s room under the guidance of Akiva Goldsman. Look at this list:

 
  • The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay writer Michael Chabon
  • Y: The Last Man and Saga’s Brian K. Vaughan
  • Guardians of the Galaxy and Captain Marvel co-writer Nicole Perlman
  • Lindsey Beer, who’s penning the Kingkiller Chronicles movie adaptation
  • Luke Cage showrunner Cheo Coker
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming writers John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein
  • Black Panther writer Joe Robert Cole
  • Jeff Pinkner, who wrote script for The Dark Tower
  • Blacklist scriptwriter Nicole Riegel
  • Geneva Robertson, currently writing the Tomb Raider movie reboot

Holy moly. Brian K. Vaughan on Rom please? Pretty please?

Obviously, this doesn’t stop us from being completely unconcerned about Hasbro’s movie universe plans—I’m not sure there are many people out there really clamoring for a Visionaries cinematic experience—but it certainly makes us a lot more interested in seeing what comes from it.

 

 

It bugs me that they are doing a cinematic universe that has GI Joe and M.A.S.K., but are leaving Transformers out. Since those 3 properties are connected. Matt Trakker has a Gi Joe figure, Flint and Lady Jay's kid was a pilot in season 3 of Transformers, and Cobra Commander showed up in season 3 of Transformers as well. I realize they want to keep the garbage Michael Bay movies going forward, but rebooting TF into something more resembling Transformers would be awesome.

The area between the balls and the butt is a hotbed of terrorist activity.

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This one kind of slipped up on me...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whmDrCb6Z-k&feature=youtu.be

 

Loved Seven Samurai and The (original) Magnificent Seven. 

 

Hopefully Westerns are making a quasi comeback.

 

am a fan o' both sevens... well, and seven too, but seven weren't a western. seven samurai were a kurosawa homage to westerns, so is unsurprising that the magnificent seven worked so well as a western. 

 

every few years we get a quasi-revival o' westerns.  mighta' been the late roger ebert who observed that every american actor wants to play a cowboy and every english actor wants to play a gangster.  denzel has actual done a pretty good turn as a gangster already, and he has done shakespeare.  is perhaps 'bout time that he got a chance to play a cowboy.  

 

our anticipation for the new magnificent seven is colored by our preternatural cynicism, so is no slight 'pon the movie itself. 

 

aside-- is our opinion that tommy lee jones has been playing it as a cowboy in just about every film he has ever made, regardless o' whether or not he were in an actual western. no country for old men, while often getting the "neo-western" faux label, were clearly a western and tommy lee jones were fantastic in that film.  no country is actual one o' our favorite westerns... evar. am doubting hollywood ever stops doing westerns... even after tommy lee jones finally dies.

 

HA! Good Fun!

"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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I bought "The Martian" and watched it last night. I really enjoyed it. It was a pretty close adaption of the book. 

"While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before"

Thomas Sowell

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Okay, this kind of makes me want to sit down and watch this one..

 

io9 - The Huntsman Winter's War is so bad its fantastically good

 

 


Back in 2012, a movie called Snow White and the Public Domain IP unexpectedly made almost $400 million. And that’s why today sees the release of a second film, Huntsman: The Contractual Obligation Movie (although for some reason the posters call it The Huntsman: Winter’s War. Go figure.) The Contractual Obligation Movie is about as bad as you’d expect, but it’s also surprisingly, insanely fun.

 

The startling thing about The Contractual Obligation Movie is what a brilliant cast it musters. Chris Hemsworth is back as the Huntsman (because he was contractually obligated), and so is Charlize Theron as Queen Ravenna. But also, Emily Blunt plays Queen Ravenna’s sister, Queen Freya, and Jessica Chastain plays the Huntsman’s long lost wife, Sara. Plus Nick Frost is back as a dwarf.

 

The film’s story, which I will not spoil (or really, attempt to explain) here, is something that would have been tailor-made for a direct-to-DVD spinoff, with all the lead roles recast with actors from Heroes and Smallville. It has that exact feeling to it, from the overwrought opening voiceover to the wobbly ending. The fact that we get to see this pointless, silly movie made with an A-list cast, instead, is one of the great marvels of our age, and is something that we should all be profoundly grateful for.

 

I just watched Snow White and the Public Domain IP the other day, so it’s fresh in my mind, and I can tell you that Huntsman: The Contractual Obligation Movie is way more fun. In that first movie, Charlize Theron goes bat**** insane over and over again, chewing all of the scenery and just stealing the entire movie. But Kristen Stewart, meanwhile, really seems to think she’s in a serious historical drama, and Chris Hemsworth has been told to brood as hard as he possibly can. It kind of gets in the way of laughing at all of the ridiculousness, and makes Snow White kind of slow going.

 

In this new movie, though, everybody has gotten the same memo that Theron got the first time around. Hemsworth, in particular, is just goofing around, flashing his big silly smile in every scene, as if his character were named The Drunksman. He flirts with everybody. In fact, he’s basically playing Happy Thor the entire time. (But not enough shirtlessness.)

And pretty much everybody else involved treats The Contractual Obligation Movie with the gravity it deserves—they all take the piss out of it, which is part of what makes this movie So Bad It’s Good [TM] rather than just atrocious and boring. It’s very much in the same wheelhouse as Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, for example.

 

This is a film where Emily Blunt (wearing all white fetishwear and a sick alabaster bird tiara) rides around on a giant creature that is half polar bear, half tiger. It’s a film where Charlize Theron randomly turns into gold birds every now and then, without interrupting her latest hissing monologue.

 

This is also a film in which one of the main fight scenes includes a few clear shots of Chris Hemsworth’s stunt double, in spite of a lot of very determined shakey-cam. And some of the other big fights try vainly to rip off the big money shots from movies of 15 years ago, like the “run, do a backflip and stab something” shot.

 

And Jessica Chastain’s big contribution to the fun is to put on a wonderfully fake Scottish accent, that changes from scene to scene—or sometimes even within the same scene. She’s Peter Capaldi one moment, James Doohan the next.

 

This is also a film in which you’re supposed to be endlessly fascinated with dwarf gender politics—which amount to male dwarves thinking female dwarves are icky, for some reason. This is a joke that is run into the ground, and then proceeds to tunnel to the center of the Earth.

 

Actually, one of the main selling points of a movie like this one is its three divas, with their amazing dresses and super tuff attitudes. And no surprise, The Contractual Obligation Movie is a somewhat better film when Emily Blunt is trying to boss around Jessica Chastain, or having sisterly rivalry with Charlize Theron. When Chris Hemsworth stomps into the picture, looking outRAGEously pleased with himself, everything gets more fun, but also somewhat more forgettable into the bargain. This is a much more interesting movie when it’s about the ladies swooshing around in their amazing outfits, trying to one-up each other. (Or possibly seduce each other. Take your pick.)

 

Emily Blunt is playing, basically, the Ice Queen from Disney’s Frozen, except even more pissed off and miserable. She’s constantly turning people into ice statues and pouting, in between acts of crazy sadism. Of all the actors in this movie, Emily Blunt is probably trying the hardest to be taken somewhat seriously, even as she spouts increasingly unsayable dialogue about outlawing love and conquering everything. She’s like the anti-Charlize Theron, which makes their confrontations even more wild.

 

At the same time, it’s odd. The actual story of The Contractual Obligation Movie is dark as all ****. No real spoilers, but it involves a murdered baby, and then lots and lots of other children getting abused and turned into soldiers. This film, among other things, is supposed to show why Chris Hemsworth was so broody in the Snow White film, but Hemsworth’s endlessly jolly smirk sort of undoes that idea, and this film keeps pivoting from the horrific to the horrendous with such alacrity that you sort of understand why everybody involved seems to have been well medicated (except Blunt).

 

Bottom line: The Contractual Obligation Movie—or, as the posters mistakenly call it, The Huntsman: Winter’s War—is a priceless treasure. Good movies come along pretty regularly, at least one every couple months, I guess. There’s never a shortage of good movies, right? But movies that are as sublimely bad as this one? They are a rare and precious treasure.

I say this as someone who just recently sat through Gods of Egypt, which was just tiresome and annoying in equal measure. If Gods of Egypt had included Chris Hemsworth mugging at the camera, or Jessica Chastain changing her accent every few minutes, or Emily Blunt scowling and turning to ice and riding around on a snow-leopard-bear, I would have dug it.

 

You have the means to enjoy Huntsman: The Contractual Obligation Movie. Just pour some of it into your 20-oz Slurpee container before entering the theater, or else bake it into cookies or brownies—depending on what kind of “enhancements” you prefer. The point is, in most years, there are only one or two movies—tops—that are this joyfully nonsensical. If you enjoy terrible fun, you should consider yourself obligated to check out The Contractual Obligation Movie.*

 

* And yes, the Monty Python reference is totally intentional. I kept hearing the phrase “’Tis a silly place” in my head, while I watched this movie.

 

Edited by Raithe

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Or...in other words, bad. :p

Put fascists and sociopaths on your ignore list.

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Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

 

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This one kind of slipped up on me...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whmDrCb6Z-k&feature=youtu.be

 

Loved Seven Samurai and The (original) Magnificent Seven. 

 

Hopefully Westerns are making a quasi comeback.

 

 

 

To be honest, since I've seen Jurassic World and this other comic related stuff, I somehow get a "this movie probably stinks"-vibe whenever I see Chris Pratt. I know he is totally the new shait right now, but I somehow really, really can't stop connecting him with mediocre family-cinema.

 

tl;dr - I hope not, but I think this Magnificent Seven movie will be mediocre at best.

 

PS I hope more wild west movies will come out again. Also late western movies where some dude is using a Mauser pistol. Yiss.

 

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"only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die."

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Boring is worse than bad, IMO.  Bad can be entertaining.  Boring can't.

Yep, that's exactly what I was thinking. There are a lot of things that I would personally evaluate to be "bad", but something I still like. Video games, books, movies, TV shows...even stuff like card games and the such. Above all else, boring is not something I generally ever want something I'm trying to enjoy to be.

Put fascists and sociopaths on your ignore list.

Quote

Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. They even like to play with discourse for, by giving ridiculous reasons, they discredit the seriousness of their interlocutors. They delight in acting in bad faith, since they seek not to persuade by sound argument but to intimidate and disconcert. If you press them too closely, they will abruptly fall silent, loftily indicating by some phrase that the time for argument is past.

 

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Batman and Robin is my so bad its good movie. They play hockey with a giant diamond while robin busts through a wall on a motorcycle leaving a robin symbol shaped hole in the wall, all while Ahnold makes ice related puns and Bane walks around disguised with a trenchcoat and fedora. SCREW THE HATERS.

The area between the balls and the butt is a hotbed of terrorist activity.

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I'm confused, did Lexx just refer to Guardians of the Galaxy as mediocre family cinema?

 

At first I liked the movie, then I watched it again some time later and found it to be really boring. Turns out it's one of them one-time-only movies of me. Probably will never ever watch it again.

"only when you no-life you can exist forever, because what does not live cannot die."

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Cool as Ice, with Vanilla Ice, is my ultimate SBIG movie. From '91, maybe '92. The DP went on to do Titanic or something grand. Also, Alex P. Keaton's TV dad is in it. 

pretty much every fun kung-fu movie other than enter the dragon fits into our sbig category.  five deadly venoms?  the last dragon?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiRHu1JjpI0

 

HA! Good Fun!

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"If there be time to expose through discussion the falsehood and fallacies, to avert the evil by the processes of education, the remedy to be applied is more speech, not enforced silence."Justice Louis Brandeis, Concurring, Whitney v. California, 274 U.S. 357 (1927)

"Im indifferent to almost any murder as long as it doesn't affect me or mine."--Gfted1 (September 30, 2019)

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From one of the Marvel screenwriters in regards to the Ancient One and whitewashing... Apparently in part it was also to not risk offending the Chinese and the billion viewers they have who could potentially end up not paying to see the film. Also these comments:

 

 


“He originates from Tibet, so if you acknowledge that Tibet is a place and that he’s Tibetan, you risk alienating one billion people who think that that’s bull**** and risk the Chinese government going, ‘Hey, you know one of the biggest film-watching countries in the world? We’re not going to show your movie because you decided to get political.’ If we decide to go the other way and cater to China in particular and have him be in Tibet… if you think it’s a good idea to cast a Chinese actress as a Tibetan character, you are out of your damn fool mind and have no idea what the f*** you’re talking about.”

---

“The thing about the Ancient One is it is Marvel’s Kobayashi Maru,” Cargill explains. “There is no other character in Marvel history that is such a cultural land mine, that is absolutely unwinnable. I’ve been reading a bunch of people talking about it, and the really frustrating thing about it this week is that most of the people who have thoughts on it haven’t thought it all the way through, and they go, ‘Why didn’t they just do this?’ And it’s like, I could tell you why. I could tell you why every single decision that involves the Ancient One is a bad one, and just like the Kobayashi Maru, it all comes down on which way you’re willing to lose.”

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"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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I would have just made him Bhutanese. Similar traditions to Tibet, nicer location, doesn't piss off the chinese.

The area between the balls and the butt is a hotbed of terrorist activity.

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