Is this harrassment ?

[BruceVC]

 

 

No its a serious video that is attempting to highlight the issue of harassment directed towards some women who walk the streets of any large city

 

Not sure if trolling.....

 

 

No, my comment is real? That's exactly what the video is suppose to demonstrate. Not sure why you think I'm trolling?

[Rosbjerg]

snip

 

Exactly the same from my gf and she's very open to talking to strangers in general and loves meeting new people (as a bartender I guess that's a must). She's great at defusing situations, but have had some pretty strange encounters too from normal guys who was sure that simply cause they had a semi successful initiation in contact, it was an open invitation to a lot more. In general, it seems to be an issue that certainly does need a lot attention.. Situation awareness is apparently not a common trait.

 

I know a handful of socionauts (as they would call themselves, or pickup artists for others) and I've seen that anything goes really - as long as you simply have situational awareness. Girls love being flirted with, but they hate being catcalled, it's as simple as that. This basically boils down to that most guys are embarrassingly bad at talking to women and are so bad that the women end up feeling harassed by it. Of course that's embarrassing to admit, so it's easier to blame the women for being prudish.

 

 

 

He talks to her first, standing on the street of the right, then he follows her .. it even says in the subtitles "same guy".

Thought it was two different other guys saying those two things, sorry about that. To be fair though, he was already walking in that direction, he merely slowed down whilst talking to her, then went back up to his regular speed.

 

Are we seeing the same thing? He's walking in silence beside her for 5 minutes.. while she looks awkwardly at him several times trying to signal that he's being extremely creepy.

 

[Longknife]

 

 

 

Again I just wanna say this not so much in regards to this issue, but a little (important) life knowledge: there ARE cities where it's typically a bad idea to respond to a stranger saying things as simple as "how are you." I'm not talking a guy with some flyers to pass out or someone obviously trying to promote a product or whatever, but some random person chatting you up. This applies to both men and women. There's sadly some unstable people out there and you simply don't know what'll trigger them, so it's best to ignore them. No eye contact, no vocal acknowledgement, no nothing. Just keep walking and if you feel followed or in danger, head towards someplace you feel safe.

 

 

It must be a very sad place where you live in.

 

I (or people here) never had any issues with people greeting you or approaching you. Maybe because a lot of people here are tourists asking for direction or something.

 

But in general I don't have this fear of insane people around every corner. If normal looking people greet you politely you respond politely.

 

I did run into a few crazy people on the streets, but those were the one that talk to themselves and you wonder what they are doing on the streets and not in a loony bin.

 

That video looks so staged it's hillarious.

 

 

Again just to clarify, obviously you can pick up on people who have different motivations (tourist, lost or confused person, someone who needs help), but I just said that as general advice for visiting big cities. I would agree with the desire to not respond to those people though. My mom used to greet people like that and she got followed by the crazies CONSTANTLY until people finally told her to stop being an idiot and acknowledging them.

  Wasn't saying "omg be paranoid at all times," it's just generally a good idea to seriously size people up and unless a practical motivation is obvious (business, requesting help, etc), best not to acknowledge in bigger cities. And again that's exclusive for bigger cities, not everywhere else.

 

Is your mom hot? It may explain why guys were following her ?

This is going in my signature.

[TrashMan]

Because all of this is redicolous.

All these people crying that other people are noticing them.

 

"Boo-hoo, I'm feeling uncomfortable! Making me feel uncomfortable is a crime!"

 

Bloody, effing hell. Cant' we deal with real issues instead of this?

[Shallow]

Are we seeing the same thing? He's walking in silence beside her for 5 minutes.. while she looks awkwardly at him several times trying to signal that he's being extremely creepy.

She does indeed look quite creeped out, but during the shots from those five minutes he didn't appear to attempt to start up conversation again, or to look at her (can be difficult to tell with his face being blurred and all though).

[HoonDing]

In her next vid she'll be walking past construction yards for 10 hours.

[Rosbjerg]

Bloody, effing hell. Cant' we deal with real issues instead of this?

 

By all means go deal with them, we're more than enough people.. and we got this covered...

[Malcador]

If she feels harassed, then it is harassment. I think that's the SJW line for this, not sure.

[Hurlshort]

Again it is weird to me that so many guys are commenting on what it is like to be a woman walking down the streets of a city.  Your perspective and opinions aren't relevant at all.  

 

Just do your best to be gentlemen and not creeps.  

[Mr. Magniloquent]

Imagine that, being approached or engaged by vagrants in the cesspit known as New York City.

 

Many of the attempts to engage her were common greetings that could have been easily brushed off with a similarly common and polite response without slowing pace. The two guys who spent some time following her could have been told to go away in no uncertain terms. So she scorns the "polite" ones and enables the threatening ones. Brilliant.

 

This is the worst she has. If there had been anything worse, it would have been in the video. Ten hours in the cultural dead-zone of a city with a massive population, intensive density, and high rates of pedestrians, and this is the worst she has to offer. *yawn*

Edited October 30, 2014 by Mr. Magniloquent

[TrashMan]

 

If she feels harassed, then it is harassment. I think that's the SJW line for this, not sure.

 

So if she would feel raped by men watching her then she was raped? Nope, doesn't work like this.

 

 

[Rosbjerg]

Yeah the video could definitely have been better and some of the guys here are attacking that fact - and I do agree that most of the SJWs are overreacting, as always.. But from friends and Xs and my gf I do know that "normal" guys tend to do some crazy **** too... and that just because a girl is walking down the street alone, it's not an invitation to try and kiss her out of the blue (happens more often than you'd like to believe), grab her, yell at her, follow her, continue to solicit her after she clearly and polity refuses. This is what they are talking about and that's what they want to attack, but you have to attack the core of it - which is that the culture seems to think that if a girl walks alone and she's pretty, she asking for it.

 

I'm sure this video just wanted to show what a girl simply walking from A to B can experience on a random day. The vast majority of our female friends live with this, in the same way we live with the random aggression from idiots.. But that doesn't mean we should be callous about it.

[Malcador]

Again it is weird to me that so many guys are commenting on what it is like to be a woman walking down the streets of a city.  Your perspective and opinions aren't relevant at all.  

 

Just do your best to be gentlemen and not creeps.  

Better to just ignore women on the street, well beyond just noticing them for collision avoidance.

[Starwars]

 

Again it is weird to me that so many guys are commenting on what it is like to be a woman walking down the streets of a city.  Your perspective and opinions aren't relevant at all.  

 

Just do your best to be gentlemen and not creeps.  

 

What are you talking about? Nobody is commenting on what it is like to be a woman. 

Are you so poor you cannot even pay attention?

 

 

 

 

women want to be harassed only by good looking rich men and ban everybody else. 

[Rosbjerg]

 

This is what they are talking about and that's what they want to attack, but you have to attack the core of it - which is that the culture seems to think that if a girl walks alone and she's pretty, she asking for it.

Well cry me a river it's the same with white people going alone in black neighborhood, gey person walking in to biker bar etc.

The point is you need to learn to handle your life. Posting weak videos of your problems is not the way to go.

 

 

A woman walking down the street is the same as a gay man walking into a biker bar? ... hmm.. right..

 

You seem disproportionately angry towards this. I feel like you might be projecting some aggression towards other issues on to this one? Perhaps feminism in general?

[Rosbjerg]

I was talking about your feelings, but do you feel you have an aggressive personality?

 

It was an attempt to understand your position, so far you've only deflected, attacked and dismissed the issue.. So I want to understand what your problem with it is. Do you feel women should toughen up?

[TrashMan]

Again it is weird to me that so many guys are commenting on what it is like to be a woman walking down the streets of a city.  Your perspective and opinions aren't relevant at all.  

 

Just do your best to be gentlemen and not creeps.  

 

What? Do women live in some alternate reality I'm not aware of?

 

Objective reality check. When a person walks to you and sez "Good day" it's bloody same for a man and a woman. The same words said, the same meaning.

 

Now if the perception of those words is different is another matter, but perception is in the mind of the beholder.

 

Do I dismiss the issue? Yes. Because I don't see it as an issue.

ACTUAL harrasment (when someone continues pestering you despite your clear insistence to stop, etc..) is a problem.

 

But this? Any well-adjusted individual should be capable of dealing with a minor irritant.

[Enoch]

"Capable of dealing with" doesn't mean that you can't complain about it, or try to bring the issue to the attention of others so that it gets less irriating. 

 

The video was an attempt to say, "hey, you might not be aware of it, but this kind of **** happens all the time, it's annoying and sometimes creepy, and I think it'd be great if it happened less often." 

[Gorgon]

Lots of young guys push eachother into talking to women, doesn't appear to matter what it's about or whether it ammounts to anything as long as you did it. I see a lot of men with bad one liners and no plan whatsoever beyond 'I'm the man because I can totally talk to random women on the street'. 

 

They need to learn better strategies and acknolwledge that it's not always better that you did it. I think we can assume that the majority don't want to fail or to be received as harassers.

[Longknife]

Lots of young guys push eachother into talking to women, doesn't appear to matter what it's about or whether it ammounts to anything as long as you did it. I see a lot of men with bad one liners and no plan whatsoever beyond 'I'm the man because I can totally talk to random women on the street'. 

 

They need to learn better strategies and acknolwledge that it's not always better that you did it. 

 

In high school, I inadvertedly won a prize for writing poetry. The story was that the teacher gave an assignment to write a poem in just one hour for a grade. The assignment was completely sprung on us. Me personally, I did not see how you could possibly be creative in one hour's time, so after 30 minutes of brainstorming and landing nothing, I decided I was out of time and to write a poem about the stress of being forced to write a poem in one hour. Teacher loved it so much she showed it off around the school and submitted it in contests and stuff.

 

   Whelp, poetry is one of those things that's considered romantic, so if you can write poetry, apparently you're a charismatic, creative and sensitive soul who can easily swoon any girl you want off her feet. I regularly began to get approached by guys at school asking for critique, advice or help writing a poem for a girl they liked.

 

The stuff I saw was...not good. A lot of the cliches, like "ur eyez r lyk two pools of bootiful watur" and stuff, a lot of nothingness phrases like just repeating "I need you, I want you, I love you, I long for you" over and over in an attempt to create impact, and for me? The number one crime was they never personalized it or made the poem actually about her and what they ACTUALLY like about her, but stuck to the cliches they'd heard on TV shows as though they were some sort of standard that must be included. You could easily take a poem Jon wrote for Stacey, take it and say "don't worry Jon, I'll write you a better one," then give him the one Bruce wrote for Shawntell the next day while giving Jon's to Bruce and the two women and the two men would never suspect a thing. It was bad.

 

 

   Alongside that, I also got people just deciding "poetry = good with women" and asking for advice with women. It didn't help that I kinda WAS good at talking to women and getting them to open up to me, but I was by NO means some player who dated every hottie on the block: I did not date period in high school. Just did not see the desire to and didn't help I was an agnostic in a highly religious town. (and when I got older I also realized I have commitment issues of sorts, lulz. I'm not some sleaze who cheats on women but I am VERY careful about commiting to anyone; I wanna know them DAMNED good before I do)  

    Nevertheless, they came for me for advice and another pattern I noticed: they all asked vague questions like "what do women want?" They seemed under the belief there was some universal answer that would unlock the key to getting a girlfriend, whether it be a big ****, telling them whatever they want or wearing Axe Body Spray. It kind of amazed me that they seemed to view the other gender like a different species rather than...yknow another human, just with different hormones. It was the attitude of wanting to study a new species rather than looking to improve communication skills, which is what they should've been looking to do. A little psychology helps too, cause pro-tip: women want sex just as much as you, they're just a lot better at pokerfacing it and not letting their hormones do the thinking for them. A lot of them thought sex was some kind of chore for women...Though this little tidbit of info isn't exactly relevant here as I doubt this is the advice those dudes on the streets need.

 

But yeah, some guys can be amazingly bad with women. I guess the stress and worry of it all just psyches them out so hard they begin viewing the scenario as this being a different "species" (or something that feels like it) that you need to impress, when in reality it's just you interested in finding another human being with common interests so you can both be happy together long term. I can't really judge cause I was raised by a single mother myself, and supposedly we're God-tier at talking to women (for obvious reasons), but yeah, it's a simple reality that every type of person exists and will always exist, and that includes the guys that are socially awkward with women. There are women that are awkward with men too, they just luck out slightly above their male counterparts in that men are typically considered pursuers, so the awkward women don't feel pressured to try and make a move.

 

 

 

Just on a side-note, I found it funny that I do actual think there's a paradoxial "truth" to a "universal" secret to winning over women, that being power. Toyed with this idea just to humor the idea so many guys approached me with, and realized you'll really struggle to find a woman that's not attracted to power. The problem is this in and of itself is not exactly universal and is a vague, abstract concept, as "power" for some women can mean intelligence, for others it can mean physical strength, for others it can mean charisma, and yes for some it's as crude as wealth or the ability to provide. Hell, several might not even have a clear grasp of what they consider powerful and they just feel it in the form of attraction. You can see evidence of this little theory of mine in that many stupid things men do, such as trying to show off how good they are at a sport or game, or having a drinking contest with another guy is supposed to be a display of power. And dunno how much you all talk to women and/or sleep around, but it's no coincidence the vast majority of women are submissive whereas the vast majority of men are dominant. (no I do not ask men these kinds of questions, that'd feel hella gay. I ask the women) Part of the reason I "oppose" feminism (I'm not exactly against it, I just don't consider it's goals realistic or superior to society now and therefore it's pointless) is because I know plenty of women who would be more than happy living their lives in support roles or being submissive. Even on the subject of rape, seldom few people would admit it out of respect and a fear of being judged, but rape is a common bedroom fantasy. Not saying that means society condones rape (or that any of the people who entertain said fantasy would realistically enjoy it or be incapable of treating the real thing seriously), I simply cite that as an example of just how submissive women can be and how ridiculously hard it would be to change that fact of life. But I digress, point was women are seldomly not attracted to power.

  This doesn't really help though as while having power can definitely attract women, you simply may not qualify for the type of power the girl you fancy actually values. Likewise, this is about attracting them initially, not about actually being and remaining compatible. Take those women who view wealth as power for example; you'd better believe they'd divorce you if you two don't have anything in common and another powerful guy more in line with her personality comes along. Or I personally have had women compliment my intelligence and tell me they fancy me because of it, but I simply COULD NOT go through with it because the woman was sadly annoyingly unintelligent in my opinion: having to explain things to someone over and over gets VERY old for me, and would never fly for what's supposed to be a partner in my life constantly at my side.

   If all you're after is sex then hey there you go I guess, but personally I think that's a rather miserable little goal to strive for in the long term.

[Gfted1]

I didn't watch the video but I infer she was hit on while walking down the street. Champagne problems I suppose. They should trot a fatty down the sidewalk and see what happens.

[Malcador]

Apparently white guys were edited out, hmm.

 

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/10/29/catcalling_video_hollaback_s_look_at_street_harassment_in_nyc_edited_out.html

 

Whoops.

Edited October 30, 2014 by Malcador

[Longknife]

Apparently white guys were edited out, hmm.

 

 

Source?

[Barothmuk]

Bloody, effing hell. Cant' we deal with real issues instead of this?

Like "ethics in games journalism"?

 

The two guys who spent some time following her could have been told to go away in no uncertain terms.

 

[Longknife]

 

Bloody, effing hell. Cant' we deal with real issues instead of this?

Like "ethics in games journalism"?

 

The two guys who spent some time following her could have been told to go away in no uncertain terms.

 

 

 

 

So can we agree a lot of these guys are legit unstable?