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If you'd had $1000 to pledge, what NPC would you have made?


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An alcoholic who spends most of his time watching porn and eating pizza. Or my old roommate if you prefer.

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"Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

"you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

"Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

"Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

"You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

"thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

"Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

"Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

"we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

"I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

"feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

"Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

"Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

"I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

"I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

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dr house... a cleric... it would be awesome

The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder.

 

-Teknoman2-

What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past?

 

Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born!


We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did.

 

Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand.

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An alcoholic who spends most of his time watching porn and eating pizza.

 

name: Steve

 

class: Hobo

 

skills and abilities:

  • style of Drunken Master (unarmed);
  • repellent fume (passive);
  • broken bottle (improvized weapon).

related quest:

Steve asked you to retrieve the legendary magical booze from the ruins of Liquorstore -  an ancient dwarven stronghold of yet to be discovered location. The story tells of a refilling flask of hooch which gives no hangover effect after consumption. The race for the flask has begun, as alcoholic parties across the land roam the countryside in the search of the hold. Time is of the essence, and the sobriety of locals is in your hands.

 

Duhn duhn DUHN!

Edited by Messier-31
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It would be of small avail to talk of magic in the air...

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A mining engineer who would be basically  good, but possessed of some unfortunate prejudices, while being revoltingly ugly.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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A former poacher named Anduin who had one arm lopped off in punishment and now works as a loblolly boy to the town chiurgeon. His missing arm has been replaced by a lamp holder, which he uses to illuminate the operating table. Anduin's once formidable archery skill is now all but useless, but he can still move around stealthily with the quietest of thieves. The loss of his arm has left him a nervous man and he speaks with a mumbling stutter that can be difficult to make out.

 

His secret: he has a peculiar fascination with the intestinal organs and he has been removing them from the cadavers that he carries to the mortician. At his home he cleans the intestines then gives them to his wife, a butcher's helper, to use for making a special line of sausages. Anduin gains great satisfaction in knowing that the exclusive line of sausages are being served to the man who had his arm removed.

 

Bleh... :x

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"It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

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An female elf criminal with extreme racism and hate towards humans. Torturer,child killer, slaver. And then have Avellone flesh her tragic past where her family was killed when she was young and she was taken as a slave, suffering inhuman conditions before she was raped, beaten within an inch of her life and was left for dead. And make the one who did these to her a friendly to the player NPC, where the player has interest to side with, and that he has an unblemished reputation among the citizens so killing him should give negative reputation among them. Similar, killing her should give negative reputation among the Orlan tribes that shelter her.

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A telepathic cat familiar NPC whose mage/partner/whatever had been murdered and wants revenge. And if you do the questline in a certain way the cat might decide to become your familiar when you're done. It would, of course, be full of snide remarks and require a pint of milk each time you summon it.

 

 

....honestly, I have no idea what sort of NPC I'd really create, which is one reason I didn't give $1000. :p

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“Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts
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Mine would be a very beautiful, seductive Dark Elf (or equivalent race in PE) Sorceress. 

 

She would be very useful in combat but during the game she would have her own agenda and would get the main character to partake in certain questionable quests and choices. Ultimately you could sway her to the side of virtue but that would take building a certain relationship and Romance  with her.

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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Mine would be a very beautiful, seductive Dark Elf (or equivalent race in PE) Sorceress. 

 

She would be very useful in combat but during the game she would have her own agenda and would get the main character to partake in certain questionable quests and choices. Ultimately you could sway her to the side of virtue but that would take building a certain relationship and Romance  with her. Viconia

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Mine would be a very beautiful, seductive Dark Elf (or equivalent race in PE) Sorceress. 

 

She would be very useful in combat but during the game she would have her own agenda and would get the main character to partake in certain questionable quests and choices. Ultimately you could sway her to the side of virtue but that would take building a certain relationship and Romance  with her. Viconia

 

 

Yes Viconia was my favourite NPC of all time

 

But you could expand on her motives and also the influence she has on your journey. For example going on a specific quest because of what she needs and promises you.

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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Mine would be a very beautiful, seductive Dark Elf (or equivalent race in PE) Sorceress. 

 

She would be very useful in combat but during the game she would have her own agenda and would get the main character to partake in certain questionable quests and choices. Ultimately you could sway her to the side of virtue but that would take building a certain relationship and Romance  with her. Viconia

 

 

Yes Viconia was my favourite NPC of all time

 

But you could expand on her motives and also the influence she has on your journey. For example going on a specific quest because of what she needs and promises you.

 

The only way i would like something like this is if the only way to romance her was for you to become more evil and no "turn her to the path of virtue" bull****.

NPCs should have their own personalities and they are not only to make you feel good about yourself. If she is evil, she should stay evil and either you follow her to the dark path or you form a relationship that because of ideological diferences it goes nowhere and concludes in tragedy where she abandons you and she joins a diferent side. Maybe you are forced to kill her.

But in Avellone i trust that he won' disapoint me in that front.

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Sarevok says hi.

And here I figured you'd have made an NPC who got experience from killing things and thumbed their noses at the party who could only get quest XP.

 

Sample Dialogue:

gfted1 NPC: "See that goblin?"

Goblin: "Hi guys!"

Player character: "Yeah"

Goblin: "...blurble..."

gfted1 NPC: "3 XP. Suck it"

 

:biggrin:

 

EDIT: I suppose I should ObTopic, so to be honest I'd need to know a lot more lore and faction stuff to make this kind of decision.  I'd like the NPC to feel interesting but also a part of their world (probably end up creating them the same way I'd my PC - in fact they might have been a PC idea if I weren't doing it as an NPC.)

 

Edited by Amentep
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I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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Alcoholic retiree by day, assassin by night.

 

Nobody expects a crossbow bolt from the homeless guy rooting through your garbage.

"Show me a man who "plays fair" and I'll show you a very talented cheater."
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Mine would be a very beautiful, seductive Dark Elf (or equivalent race in PE) Sorceress. 

 

She would be very useful in combat but during the game she would have her own agenda and would get the main character to partake in certain questionable quests and choices. Ultimately you could sway her to the side of virtue but that would take building a certain relationship and Romance  with her. Viconia

 

 

Yes Viconia was my favourite NPC of all time

 

But you could expand on her motives and also the influence she has on your journey. For example going on a specific quest because of what she needs and promises you.

 

The only way i would like something like this is if the only way to romance her was for you to become more evil and no "turn her to the path of virtue" bull****.

NPCs should have their own personalities and they are not only to make you feel good about yourself. If she is evil, she should stay evil and either you follow her to the dark path or you form a relationship that because of ideological diferences it goes nowhere and concludes in tragedy where she abandons you and she joins a diferent side. Maybe you are forced to kill her.

But in Avellone i trust that he won' disapoint me in that front.

 

 

That's an interesting perspective, the corrupting influence she has on you and a situation where you can't make her good. That could work but I'm not use to playing a bad character so it would be a new and difficult dynamic for me...but it has its appeal :) 

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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A filthy old manservant, lets call him Harold. Alcoholic, smells of urine,sweat, tobacco and old spice, teeth and hands brown from rolling his cigarettes. Coughs constantly, attacking his chest will result in muttered thanks, and a brief respite: "Thats got it."

 

Extremely conservative, racist, speciesist and sexist. Has a derogatory nickname for every person he meets. Is fiercely loyal to his master, served in their family for millenia, and believes in old fashion values. Has a near limitless capacity for absorbing damage, as he's been around a lot in his youth, but is useless in a fight. Complains often however that you should be beating him more often, raping milkmaids and beheading the uppity peasantry, as that's a noblemans job. Can find anything his master fancies in any city, seemingly has more contacts and resources than an entire thieves guild.

 

Never usually gives a straight answer: "Here and there, now and then, this and that." These are his usual responses to any questions. Has a son in training to take over the family business and a daughter making her living on her back as per family tradition, is fiercely proud of both of them. Looking forward to the day his son slits his throat while he's asleep and nicks everything he owns, as the family custom of succession dictates.

 

Can lift and pack massive amounts of gear, fifty pounds more than the strongest character in the party. Has thirty two fatal and incurable conditions, plagues and injuries but doesn't complain about it too much, as he really enjoyed acquiring them.

Edited by Nonek
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Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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A filthy old manservant, lets call him Harold. Alcoholic, smells of urine,sweat, tobacco and old spice, teeth and hands brown from rolling his cigarettes. Coughs constantly, attacking his chest will result in muttered thanks, and a brief respite: "Thats got it."

 

Extremely conservative, racist, speciesist and sexist. Has a derogatory nickname for every person he meets. Is fiercely loyal to his master, served in their family for millenia, and believes in old fashion values. Has a near limitless capacity for absorbing damage, as he's been around a lot in his youth, but is useless in a fight. Complains often however that you should be beating him more often, raping milkmaids and beheading the uppity peasantry, as that's a noblemans job. Can find anything his master fancies in any city, seemingly has more contacts and resources than an entire thieves guild.

 

Never usually gives a straight answer: "Here and there, now and then, this and that." These are his usual responses to any questions. Has a son in training to take over the family business and a daughter making her living on her back as per family tradition, is fiercely proud of both of them. Looking to the day his son slits his throat while he's asleep and nick everything he owns, as the family custom of succession dictates.

 

Can lift and pack massive amounts of gear, fifty pounds more than the strongest character in the party. Has thirty two fatal and incurable conditions, plagues and injuries but doesn't complain about it too much, as he really enjoyed acquiring them.

 

A filthy old manservant, lets call him Harold. Alcoholic, smells of urine,sweat, tobacco and old spice, teeth and hands brown from rolling his cigarettes. Coughs constantly, attacking his chest will result in muttered thanks, and a brief respite: "Thats got it."

 

Extremely conservative, racist, speciesist and sexist. Has a derogatory nickname for every person he meets. Is fiercely loyal to his master, served in their family for millenia, and believes in old fashion values. Has a near limitless capacity for absorbing damage, as he's been around a lot in his youth, but is useless in a fight. Complains often however that you should be beating him more often, raping milkmaids and beheading the uppity peasantry, as that's a noblemans job. Can find anything his master fancies in any city, seemingly has more contacts and resources than an entire thieves guild.

 

Never usually gives a straight answer: "Here and there, now and then, this and that." These are his usual responses to any questions. Has a son in training to take over the family business and a daughter making her living on her back as per family tradition, is fiercely proud of both of them. Looking to the day his son slits his throat while he's asleep and nick everything he owns, as the family custom of succession dictates.

 

Can lift and pack massive amounts of gear, fifty pounds more than the strongest character in the party. Has thirty two fatal and incurable conditions, plagues and injuries but doesn't complain about it too much, as he really enjoyed acquiring them.

 

That's really, really good. How did you think of that one ?

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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Exaggerated somewhat for comic intent but unfortunately i'm related to the gentleman.

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Quite an experience to live in misery isn't it? That's what it is to be married with children.

I've seen things you people can't even imagine. Pearly Kings glittering on the Elephant and Castle, Morris Men dancing 'til the last light of midsummer. I watched Druid fires burning in the ruins of Stonehenge, and Yorkshiremen gurning for prizes. All these things will be lost in time, like alopecia on a skinhead. Time for tiffin.

 

Tea for the teapot!

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Exaggerated somewhat for comic intent but unfortunately i'm related to the gentleman.

 

:lol:

"Abashed the devil stood and felt how awful goodness is and saw Virtue in her shape how lovely: and pined his loss”

John Milton 

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” -  George Bernard Shaw

"What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

 

 

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I would definitely come up with a character who seems to have a lot of secrets and connections and influence, but really just loves to let people constantly make incorrect assumptions as to such. And/or, a Wizard character who was magically incognito as some easily-ignored elderly lady or something. So then, when his true identity gets discovered, everyone's all amazed and such, and thinks they have it figured out. But then, it turns out that this "true" identity was really just an elaborate, elaborate cover identity for the character's REAL identity.

 

It would really be the hardly-ever-talked about sister of some noteworthy Wizard's apprentice. She used to sweep the floors and such, and was actually more talented than her brother, but she was all but loathed by everyone around, as her brother was the favorite, and blamed all his own mistakes and stupidity on her. So, one day, he did something REALLY arrogant and stupid, and basically sparked his own demise. The only witness was her, and she knew everyone would think that her stupid attempts at controlling her volatile "talent" had killed her brother, because of the veil of lies he'd spun around her for so long. So, she assumed his identity, and claimed that "he" tried to stop his poor, beloved sister from toying with forces she couldn't control, but she insisted on trying anyway, to her own misfortune. She's been living the facade, ever since.

 

She uses the FURTHER disguise to allow people to discover her "true" identity, so as to prevent them from ever suspecting further secrets and catching wind of what really happened that day. She extorts her brother's identity and family standing to make things happen that will help those who are in anything resembling her own position of neglect and misfortune, as a child.

Edited by Lephys
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Should we not start with some Ipelagos, or at least some Greater Ipelagos, before tackling a named Arch Ipelago? 6_u

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Exaggerated somewhat for comic intent but unfortunately i'm related to the gentleman.

If I were you I would consider starting in on the family tradition of succession :p

 

Personally I honestly have no real concept for a type of character I would have made.  You don't really know what restrictions might be placed on the character, what kind of room we would get, or even if you get to choose where or when they show up.  Knowing me though I would have designed something like an old fat orlan with extremely hairy ears and feet that wears a torn up old bowler hat, dirty clothes, ripped pants, and no shoes.  They would go around begging in all the best parts of town for money to buy a "insert whatever food item here" and promise to pay you back in a week and should you actually ever give them the money all they do the week later if you find them is offer to pay you back via the week old left overs which will include a delectable special sauce made of toejam and nose hairs.

 

Well that or an annoying drunk bald dwarf who says "oh aye" every other sentence and likes to get naked and dance on top of statues while singing bawdy tavern songs about a wild orlan lass.  Of course he would then have to pee on passerby's but that's a given.

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