Movies you've seen recently

[Oerwinde]

So the weirdest thing happened with Pacific Rim. I watched it first and didn't really love it. Like I mean, a waste of a script. Then I learned it's a genre movie ... designed purely for fun. So I changed my expectations of plot, dialogue, and character--the pesky grown-up things I thought were critical--and tried it again. All of a sudden, I had the best time. Like a kid again, watching Condorman.

Yeah, Del Toro did it because he loves giant monster movies and was in a position to get one made to his specs. I liked that his giant monster movie was fun, unlike a certain Lord of the Rings director.

[Lexx]

Watched Memento. Cool movie, but damn, I had to read the wikipedia page after the credits.

[Rosbjerg]

Yeah first time you see it it's pretty confusing, like Pulp Fiction - I love when editing becomes a narrative in itself.

 

Makes me want to watch Synedoche again, my favorite "wut?" movie.

[Blarghagh]

Man of Steel.

 

Nothing to write home about. The action was okay, it looked spectacular but failed to get the heart pumping and there seemed to be a lot of fights with no resolutions. The moral center was crooked enough to make all the emotional scenes fall flat. Supes' human dad was turned into an illogical bastard for no other reason than to give Supes something to angst about. Zero chemistry between the leads for the entire movie and then they just make out, making it another forced action movie romance even though it's supposed to be one of the most famous romances in superhero history.

[JFSOCC]

city of god, depicts sociopathy really well.

[Monte Carlo]

Hey, thanks for that awesome review Lord of Lost socks. Please do another if you can find the time, that was a fun read.

[Gfted1]

World War Z. What a pile of meh.

[Rosbjerg]

World War Z. What a pile of meh.

 

Especially considering how awesome the source materiel is.

[Monte Carlo]

Hey, I think LoLS should do a review of the new Conan movie.

 

Which, despite the predictable hate from the Grognards, was pretty darn good and captured the pulp roots of the original books.

[Lord of Lost Socks]

Actually, I've already made a promise to review Conan the Destroyer, and talk a little bit about why I think the sequel did not quite live up to the original. After that I might tackle the new Conan. I just need to find the time to rewatch both of them since it's been at least 8 months since I did and would not want to forget anything.

Edited October 21, 2013 by Lord of Lost Socks

[sorophx]

I really want to say you need to watch Dirty Wars but I won't. It's not a very well made movie. The book on the other hand - it is very entertaining, if you like spy non-fiction

[Monte Carlo]

The Purge

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2184339/

 

THIS CONTAINS BIG SPOILERS

 

It's 2022 and in a future America (scripted as a Libtard wet-dream of what a Conservative dystopia would look like) 'The New Founding Fathers' allow an annual twelve hour window where all crime is legal. The reasons for this are hinted at, part-political, part extreme-psychological control experiment, but never properly established. For me, this is a big problem but more of that in a bit.

 

If I swirled this movie around like a glass of wine I'd detect notes of The Stepford Wives, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining and Assault on Precinct Thirteen.

 

We are in a rich Californian suburb, where Ethan Hawke's security systems salesman is celebrating a big eve-of-Purge deal with his not-very-happy-family.  Hey, Ethan Hawke starred in the re-make of Assault on Precinct Thirteen, right? Anyhow, Ethan Hawke, now tottering into middle-age is morphing into Kevin Bacon. But that's not important right now.

 

His wife is the lovely Lena Heady, who plays the part with aplomb. Her character is a brittle facsimile of the perfect suburban wife and mother. I could critique this, but seeing as (a) I have the hots for Lena Heady and (b) I'm not a pro movie critic, I shan't bother.

 

There are also two bratty kids, one of whom is a central casting sexy minx, the other a nerdy kid with a remote control tank that you know is going to become Very Important Later On. The family locks down for the night in their fortified mansion and waits for The Purge to end.

 

A sequence of events leads to a shooting in the house, an escaped homeless man getting in and a hilarious gang of psycho-Yuppies besieging the house. They all wear Ralph Lauren and are meant, I think, to represent the inherent savagery of The Man. I've seen university Marxist agit-prop more subtly done. The homeless dude is African-American, which again gives you an idea of how obviously sign-posted the script must have been. BEAUTIFUL YUPPIES HUNT BLACK HOMELESS GUY. Wow, American racial and cultural politics are dull.

 

Anyhoo, this takes us to the most successful part of the piece, a genuinely nail-biting game of heavily-armed cat and mouse around the no-longer-fortified mansion. Many yuppies die, which makes me punch the air with happiness. Kevin Bacon Ethan Hawke runs around in a die-hard vest with a shotgun. Big knives are deployed. Lena Headey goes guns-akimbo with a couple of chromed SiGs.

 

Then there's a bizarre ending with the Stepford-neighbours, who are sort of Republican Scientologists.

 

This takes me back to the biggest single problem with the movie - not the clumsy politics (which are forgiveable as the piece is genuinely entertaining), but the set-up. My suspension of disbelief was significant: The Purge wasn't properly framed. The tech level didn't suggest ten years hence. There was no hint as to why rich folks weren't living in gated communities. Hawke's character, a security professional, had no panic room and nary a kevlar vest to be seen.

 

These things matter and could have been easily explained away.

 

I agree by and large with the IMDB review score. I'd give it 3 out of 5 and suggest it's a good Friday night horror movie with dystopian elements. It could have been much better.

 

Edit: The other near-future dystopian movie I really should mention is the original 1970's Rollerball with James Caan. The notion that channelled aggression can be used as a form of social control is a central theme of that movie. Except that the politics weren't as heavy handed. Rollerball was made in the post-Nixon era, so I guess I dig the sinister undertones. But this movie was made under Obama. Obama, right? I thought America was, like, really happy now.

Edited October 21, 2013 by Monte Carlo

[Gorth]

The soundtrack of this movie is in my opinion one of the best ever created. It sets the tone perfectly for “high adventure”. It is a great orchestral score created by Basil Poledouris.

One of very few soundtracks I ever bought on CD...

[Nonek]

Fantastic review Lord of Lost Socks. I always thought that the central theme of the first Conan movie was strength, and Conan learning that it is not enough to simply be strong. Personally that's where I believe Thulsa Doom made a mistake in his translation of the riddle of steel, rather than flesh being superior to steel, it is simply that steel is only as strong as the hand which weilds it. This is emphasised by the scene where Conan shatters his fathers sword with his ancient Atlantean blade.

 

As I remember the film was dismissed by the New York Times as Star Wars made by a psychopath, which was a little too harsh but unwittingly quite appropriate considering Mr Howards somewhat temperamental state of mind.

 

Though I don't think Schwarzenegger was an ideal Conan, the film did somehow capture the spirit of the short stories and novel, in fact the only time Valeria really comes to life is when reciting Belit's line over an awoken Conan on the shores of the Vilayet Sea. Making use of what is arguably one of the better short stories. There was a sense of magnificent, bombastic theatre about the film which sat well with Howard's prose, and all told though I find the content troubling as a Howard fan, none the less i'd say it was a wonderful homage to the mans works. One I think he and the Cimmerian of titanic mirths and melancholies would approve of.

 

Edit: One thing I did find interesting was Thulsa Doom himself, as an amalgam of many antagonists in Conan literature the cult leader was very well concieved. Using Mr Jones great nubian face, but pairing that with light eyes and straight hair suggested that he might be of a vanished species, and his powers of mesmerism and skinshifting both abilities inborn to that species. Mr Howard always seemed intrigued by such possibilities, not unusually so considering the speculation about the origin of species was far more vibrant and new at the time of his writing. Indeed Conan frequently tangles with great anthropomorphic apes in his adventures, and some of the Hyborian races are seemingly devolving.

Edited October 22, 2013 by Nonek

[Hiro Protagonist]

Gravity. Awesome movie. Sitting on the edge of my seat throughout. 9/10.

[Lord of Lost Socks]

Fantastic review Lord of Lost Socks. I always thought that the central theme of the first Conan movie was strength, and Conan learning that it is not enough to simply be strong. Personally that's where I believe Thulsa Doom made a mistake in his translation of the riddle of steel, rather than flesh being superior to steel, it is simply that steel is only as strong as the hand which weilds it. This is emphasised by the scene where Conan shatters his fathers sword with his ancient Atlantean blade.

 

As I remember the film was dismissed by the New York Times as Star Wars made by a psychopath, which was a little too harsh but unwittingly quite appropriate considering Mr Howards somewhat temperamental state of mind.

 

Though I don't think Schwarzenegger was an ideal Conan, the film did somehow capture the spirit of the short stories and novel, in fact the only time Valeria really comes to life is when reciting Belit's line over an awoken Conan on the shores of the Vilayet Sea. Making use of what is arguably one of the better short stories. There was a sense of magnificent, bombastic theatre about the film which sat well with Howard's prose, and all told though I find the content troubling as a Howard fan, none the less i'd say it was a wonderful homage to the mans works. One I think he and the Cimmerian of titanic mirths and melancholies would approve of.

 

Edit: One thing I did find interesting was Thulsa Doom himself, as an amalgam of many antagonists in Conan literature the cult leader was very well concieved. Using Mr Jones great nubian face, but pairing that with light eyes and straight hair suggested that he might be of a vanished species, and his powers of mesmerism and skinshifting both abilities inborn to that species. Mr Howard always seemed intrigued by such possibilities, not unusually so considering the speculation about the origin of species was far more vibrant and new at the time of his writing. Indeed Conan frequently tangles with great anthropomorphic apes in his adventures, and some of the Hyborian races are seemingly devolving.

 

Indeed. I did not take up the answer to the riddle of steel, because it varies from person to person. I agree with you, in that the answer is flesh and steel together. (The latest Conan kinda confirms it with its "Mystery of Steel" which was "Which is most important when forging a sword, Fire or Ice?" The answer was "Fire and Ice")

 

However, there is also the view that the will of man is the most important. Not flesh or steel, but how you intend to use them. But I always considered that to be kinda the same thing.

 

I also, forgot to mention the full circle of Thulsa Doom cutting his mother's head off, then later Conan cutting Thulsa Doom's head off. I always enjoyed imagining Conan at the end when he sits on the stairs contemplating his victory as him wondering what has changed. The only thing his quest for revenge made for his personal life was that he lost his love.

 

Let me explain. By killing Thulsa Doom, he set himself "free" of his quest for revenge, and also "freed" the cultists from Thulsa Doom's lies. But free to do what? Same things they could've done earlier had they the will to do so. Really emphasizes the futility of revenge in the end.

 

And yes, the movie is not faithful to the books. But I do believe it captures the spirit of the books and converts it into one fantastic cinematic experience.

 

This is what happens when you write a review 3 weeks after last time seeing the movie. You forget things.

Edited October 22, 2013 by Lord of Lost Socks

[Nonek]

I do agree about willpower being one of the most important aspects of the film, indeed it is Conan's superior will that saves him when he stands in the same position as his mother, in fact she almost seems to lift her head giving Thulsa a cleaner stroke. I think this is most clearly demonstrated in another scene from the books, Howard's little dig at christianity where Jesus suffers in silence on the cross, Conan in comparison kills and drinks the blood of his tormentors. A pivotal moment for the character.

 

The deleted scene between Subotai and Conan is rather nice as well, echoing what you said about the futility of his revenge.

[Amentep]

Puppet Master VII: Retro Puppet Master - revises continuity again and the 'retro' puppet designs are kinda bad for most of the new puppet designs. Story was okay though.

 

Puppet Master VIII: The Legacy - who in their right mind would make a "clips episode" movie? What new material is in the film makes little to no sense with the rest of the series. Rubbish.

[Lord of Lost Socks]

Conan the Destroyer (1984) - Movie Review by Lord of Lost Socks (includes spoilers)

 

“Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world. Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, sword in hand. It is I, his chronicler, who knows well his saga. Now, let me tell you of the days of high adventure!”

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYt0oy9ZoPc

Plot:

The plot starts off with Conan kneeling before an altar with his friend Malak, the thief, when they get attacked by unknown men. After defeating them, the leader of the attackers calls her men back and tells Conan that she needs him for a quest. Conan at first declines, but after the leader, who is in fact the queen of the area, promises that she can bring back Valeria, Conan’s girl from the first movie, he agrees.

 

So they travel to the capital city where the queen tells Conan that he is to escort the queen’s niece, Jehnna, to find the horn of Dagoth, their god, a.k.a. the Dreaming God. The niece was born with a certain mark that allows her touch, without dying, a diamond that allows them to find the horn. When Conan is off-screen we hear the queen and Bombaata, Jehnna’s protector, discuss killing Conan after they have found the diamond.

 

Bombaata’s mission is also to protect Jehnna’s virginity, since she is needed for sacrifice. Jehnna does not know anything about this, naturally. This comes as no surprise to anyone, since they’re all dressed in black and the high priest has a staff with a skull on it. Of course they’re evil. We learn that the diamond is held by an evil wizard. It’s hopefully clear to everyone by now that the mission is to wake the Dreaming God from its slumber.

 

So they embark on their quest and Conan sets out to find his own wizard, so he rescues Akiro from cannibals. Akiro is the Wizard from the first movie, who is mentioned by name for the first time. So, they start their trek toward the evil wizard and on the way encounter Zula, who is a Zulu. Get it? Zula pledges to fight for Conan, because Conan rescued her after she was caught raiding.

 

They eventually reach the wizard’s tower, but the night before they enter it, the wizard sends a magic bird and kidnaps Jehnna in her sleep. Conan and the rest of the party wake up in the morning and notice that she’s gone and immediately set out to rescue her. The wizard’s toward is situation in a lake and it’s made of ice. This is where it gets a little odd that Conan is not cold without a shirt, since the temperature is cold enough for us to see his breath. They encounter the wizard, who turns into a troll-orc and kill him.

 

Afterwards they follow Jehnna who intuitively knows where to go and find the horn in an old ruin. On the ruin walls it tells how Dagoth will destroy the earth if awakened. Either way, on the way out they encounter cultists who want the horn. They escape from the ruins, but not before Bombaata takes Jehnna and the horn and leaves them to their fate.

 

Conan, obviously, gets mad for being betrayed and travels with what’s left of his party back to the capitol. There he sneaks in to the temple right when they’re about to sacrifice Jehnna (who we are now told must be sacrificed so that the queen can control Dagoth). He fights Bombaata and kills him and saves Jehnna. However the ritual has gone too far and Dagoth is awakened, so they fight him and manage to kill him too by ripping out his horn. The movie ends in a classic movie cliché where the heroes are awarded their rewards by the newly crowned Jehnna.

 

Visuals:

The visuals in this movie are a bit mixed. The sets and the scenery is still top notch, apart from the wizard’s tower that is unfortunately pretty poorly made in some parts. The costumes still hold up to Conan the Barbarian’s standard of looking authentic but still rich with classic barbarian fantasy aesthetics.

 

The scope of this movie is for the most part much larger than the original. Whereas in the original they fought a cult with relatively little magic, in the sequel they fight cultists, other cultists, a wizard and a god. And cannibals. The problem with this is that the graphical effects do not deliver in all of these scenes. The fight against the wizard and pretty much all his magic looks pretty bad to a modern viewer and the entire set in that scene is also pretty poor. Dagoth looks a bit strange, but I can understand the technical limitations here, and the god does still look fairly terrifying and grotesque.

 

The wizard in all his terrific glory:

 

 

 

The fighting choreography is not quite as good as in the original either. Pretty much every scene with Zula fighting is pretty bad. She fights with a spear, but it doesn’t look convincing at all. Malak, “fights” with daggers, but it’s mainly him just hiding and stabbing people who are already down. It all really leaves you wanting Subotai from the original back. Conan’s fight against the wizard is not that well choreographed either.

 

Here you can see Zula fighting. As an added bonus you get to see Jehnna's terrible acting.

 

 

Audio:

The movie has practically the same soundtrack as before and it’s still very good.

 

Acting:

And so we come to the acting. This is worse across the board, to be brutally honest. So I’ll go through the most important characters.

 

Arnold Schwarzenegger in his role as Conan has deteriorated slightly from the original. He isn’t as convincing, and I believe one of the reasons could be that he has more to say. However, the difference here isn’t huge, and some of it is probably due to bad dialogue which I’ll discuss later.

The biggest offender in bad acting in this movie, and I’d be hard pressed to find anyone worse is Jehnna. Once again, her script and part in the movie is generally horrible. Half the time she is shouting for help, or trying to find out how to seduce Conan. However, the actress Olivia d’Abo makes the entire thing cringe worthy. It’s abysmal. If you watch this movie, you will notice this in her first line.

 

Malak, played by Tracey Walter, is also terrible. Once again, this is probably due to a bad script, but a good actor can overcome that to some degree.

Zula (Grace Jones) tries to play the role of a warrior woman, but once again just doesn’t manage it. Her fights are awkward and the way she acts is not believable. The entire effort to seem like a warrior is ruined in a scene where she spots a rat and jumps away like any old frightened woman (according to cliché) and is then laughed at by the rest.

 

Shockingly enough Mombaata played by none other than Wilt Chamberlain, a famous basketball player, does his job relatively good compared to the disasters above.

 

Mako, who plays Akiro the Wizard, is for the most part really good as per usual. However, one criticism I have is the opening speech he is responsible for. When he talks in the first Conan movie that intro is awesome and delivered perfectly. In Conan the Destroyer, however, the intro is not delivered with the same impact and seems almost indifferent when he says it. I have a feeling he had too much to say for the time he was given, forcing him to rush it.

 

Just listen to both of the and compare. The first one is from Conan the Barbarian, the second one is from Conan the Destroyer:

 

 

 

 

The rest of the characters do an average to decent job. The Wizard’s monologue lines aren’t really that impressive, but his entire character is pointless anyway, so I can’t exactly fault him for it.

 

Dialogue:

So, remember all those memorable quotes I posted in my Conan the Barbarian review? That wasn’t nearly all of them, and they were fantastic lines, I hope you agree. Now in Conan the Destroyer, there are none. There’s not a single line that I can remember that was good and memorable. Some were decent, some were memorable due to being bad, but that’s it. What happened?

 

Instead we get lines like these:

 

 

 

 

 

Jehnna: How do you attract a man? What I mean is, suppose you set your heart on somebody. What would you do to get him?

Zula: Grab him! And take him!

 

 

Jehnna: I suppose nothing hurts you.

Conan: Only pain.

 

Jehnna: Conan! There are six of them against her!

Conan: One, two, three... I think you're right.

 

Malak: Why are they trying to kill us?

Conan: Maybe they want to capture us, and torture us to death.

 

Malak: I think we made the merchant angry.

Conan: Are you surprised?

Malak: But we didn't steal everything he had!

Conan: We didn't have time.

 

 

 

 

The one who wrote the script should seriously have given more thought to it. This is yet another black mark when you compare it to the original.

 

Personal Opinion:

The plot to me feels a little needlessly convoluted for a Conan movie. In Conan the Barbarian he had one task and everything he faced was Thulsa Doom’s henchmen, with a few minor exceptions. The wizard that they fight is completely random. We are told nothing about him, other than he holds the diamond. He could be the protector of the world for all we know. And after they kill him and try to take the horn, some random cultists appear that want to fight Conan again. Then they also fight the cannibals when rescuing Akiro. The worst part about it is that it would probably be alright if the queen turned out to betray him in a shock twist at the end, but no. It’s blatantly obvious to everyone except Conan & Co. that she is evil.

 

Another thing that always bothered me was that when Conan fights the wizard, he finds the wizards weakness purely by accident, which makes the entire scene feel like Conan just got lucky, which is in direct contrast to the earlier movie.

 

All the new side characters just make me wish we had Valeria and Subotai back. Malak is the replacement for Subotai, and he's just an annoying guy who delivers some slapstick quality humour to it. Did they really think Conan needed that? Zula as a character does nothing other than stare menacingly and tries to be strong. Thank the heavens Mako returned with his character Akiro.

 

You may have noticed this review is fairly negative. It’s not really a bad movie. It’s okay. This was the first Conan movie I saw when I was younger and I loved it. I still like it. The only reason it sounds bad is because I really, really liked the first one and this comes across rushed in the first seconds of the movie. However, it’s still a Conan movie at heart. I do recommend it, if you liked the first Conan. If you thought the first Conan was campy and funny, well, this is more of that. Regardless, you should watch it.

 

My god, this turned out longer than expected. Thank you if you managed to read it all.

Edited October 22, 2013 by Lord of Lost Socks

[JFSOCC]

World War Z. What a pile of meh.

[Amentep]

Captain America - The Winter Soldier trailer has been put out - http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/marvel/captainamericathewintersoldier/

[ShadySands]

was that the Falcon?

Edited October 24, 2013 by ShadySands

[Amentep]

was that the Falcon?

 

Yes; he's being played by Anthony Mackie.

[Oerwinde]

I hope Falcon gets his red and white outfit in sequels.

[LadyCrimson]

Does Rikki Tikki Tavi count as a movie, or a TV show? At any rate, I watched this again for the first time in ages and ages. I remember loving it (and the story) as a kid. As I watched it, however, I started to frown because my memory of it and what I was actually seeing did not jibe at all. It's still great, don't get me wrong, but man...I know time blurs things, but it's like even the animation of the cobra fight, and even Rikki's coat color that I remember...it's all wrong.

 

It's weird and makes me slightly sad.