Stupid things you have learned

[Tale]

A studded bra, high heeled boots and a thong provide the same kind of protection that a full suit of armor does.

If you'd ever fought a fit woman dressed like that, you'd realize the difficulty in hitting her.

[Deraldin]

I've learned not to fear the axis of evil. Everyone know that nukes are like the most horrible weapons ever! As long as it detonates at least a block from my house I'm perfectly safe! (C&C)

[Wistrik]

The world revolves around me.

 

(as a male character) Women always find me attractive!

 

(as a female character) Men may or may not pay attention to me, and some will address me as "sir", or "my lord", etc. (BG2, english language)

 

All it takes to get into bed with someone is to select the proper responses for a handful of counseling sess--- er, conversations.

 

I am always able to defeat people and creatures who are much larger/stronger than I am.

 

Dragons are just as easy to kill as knee-high kobolds; all you need is Greater Whirlwind. (BG2:ToB)

 

Animals carry loot. (Maybe all those hunters who go out in Autumn are hoping their kill drops a powerful artifact or valuable gem.)

 

People always store their belongings in (un)locked chests outside their homes.

 

Nobles are always condescending.

 

Children can't possibly be killed. (BG2)

 

Casting Armageddon kills everyone but me. (Ultima VIII)

 

 

That's it for now, brain just shut down. It's safe to say that if I tried to live my life by doing the things I do every day in computer games, I'd be killed or locked up for life (in prison or in a mental institution).

[alanschu]

No doubt Stilletos give a +1 to Attack and +1 to Defense.

[alanschu]

Casting Armageddon kills everyone but me. (Ultima VIII)

 

I think that might be Ultima VII (didn't play much of VIII), but this would sort of make sense. Given a universe where a magic spell can kill everyone on the planet, there's no reason why this same spell would not protect the caster as well.

 

At the same time, it seems odd that such a spell was included, since as far as I know it has no useful purpose in the game.

[Diogo Ribeiro]

If you'd ever fought a fit woman dressed like that, you'd realize the difficulty in hitting her.

 

Don't you mean 'on her'?

[Deraldin]

Children can't possibly be killed. (BG2)

 

I'm pretty sure that I've killed a child with a stray fireball or two. :confused:

[Diogo Ribeiro]

Children can't possibly be killed. (BG2)

 

I'm pretty sure that I've killed a child with a stray fireball or two. :confused:

 

At first I thought he meant Neverwinter Nights but I think there were a couple of instances where a child NPC was flagged as unkillable in BG2.

[Gfted1]

^I thought the "no children killed" thing was only for certain countries that outlawed it.

[Pidesco]

In a post-apocalyptic world the children may be invisible.

[Sand]

Let the children be invisible in those Euro-countries. I want to play my Champion Child-killer.

[Diogo Ribeiro]

It wasn't a European restriction, I think, because I could have my PCs kill children with no problems but ocasionally - probably for story reasons? - an unkillable one cropped up.

[Wistrik]

Casting Armageddon kills everyone but me. (Ultima VIII)

 

I think that might be Ultima VII (didn't play much of VIII), but this would sort of make sense. Given a universe where a magic spell can kill everyone on the planet, there's no reason why this same spell would not protect the caster as well.

 

At the same time, it seems odd that such a spell was included, since as far as I know it has no useful purpose in the game.

It was one of those easter egg things, like killing Lord British, that wasn't part of the plot but was fun when you figured it out or read about it and tried it for yourself.

 

I never got far enough in VII to do it (though I'd read that it existed in the game), but I did study it toward the end of VIII; It's a thaumaturgic spell you can buy from Mythran for 1000 obsidian coins. Nothing too special happens though. The sky rains down fire and whatnot as if you'd angered all the titans, and NPCs are sprawled out wherever they happened to be when you cast the spell.

 

Armageddon is an actual plot element that destroys the Avatar in Ultima IX, though that game is arguably not quite canon, as it twists and perverts many traditional elements of Ultima. Search for Hacki's Ultima page if you want to spend several hours reading Ultima nitpicks. He has nitpicks for all Ultimas (singleplayer), but Ultima IX rules the roost with over 500 nitpicks. (A nitpick item is some portion of the game that doesn't agree with conventions set in past games.)

 

As for killing children... I could never do it after installing ToB and the last official (non-beta) patch. (.26498 I think) You're right that it's probably there for international audiences, or the conservative right. I tried everything I could think of while I was in the Slums district (I'd accidentally turned everyone's circles red with a misplaced AOE spell so I decided to see what else I could do). Even the CTRL-Y cheat couldn't get the job done. (And no, they don't wear MINHP1 items; I checked.)

Edited February 5, 2007 by Wistrik

[Dark_Raven]

Children can't possibly be killed. (BG2)

 

I'm pretty sure that I've killed a child with a stray fireball or two. :confused:

Or by using the Flamer. Fiery dancing kiddies in the Wasteland.

[Krookie]

Shooting someone with a shotgun will almost automatically make their body's implode and rain down on top of you. (gears of war)

[Calax]

getting hit with an arrow near a wall will usually attach you to said wall (Half Life 2, and AvP2)

 

No matter how angry sombody gets at you you can usually become their main man within an hour (gta's and any other system with factional influence)

[Diamond]

getting hit with an arrow near a wall will usually attach you to said wall (Half Life 2, and AvP2)

 

Also,

- you can miss a chest from one meter distance with a crossbow.

- you can break a chest by shooting it with a crossbow.

[Gorth]

Let the children be invisible in those Euro-countries. I want to play my Champion Child-killer.

Discovering the reason for the weird floating text above nobody and the unsolvable quests was the first time I wished for a game publisher to go out of business...

Edited February 6, 2007 by Gorth

[Walsingham]

I am encouraged to kill people who annoy me or who stand in my way ..unless they happen to be in my character party. In which case I may find myself being forced to put up with them. (NWN2)

 

I actually wailed audibly the other night as yet another cretin was forced upon my character party. Sobbing cries of "Why won't you just leave me alone? I hate you more than all the diseases of the Earth! I hate you more than my worst enemy!"

 

EDIT: I just realised I had a very similar situation in real life when I was a at school. In fact two analogous situations, so I withdraw the complaint.

[Dark_Raven]

Ah yes the "people I hate who are forced into your party" thing. GOTO and Bishop.

[@\NightandtheShape/@]

A studded bra, high heeled boots and a thong provide the same kind of protection that a full suit of armor does.

If you'd ever fought a fit woman dressed like that, you'd realize the difficulty in hitting her.

 

Probably the most correct statement ever... Well, what if she was like super fat?

[Tale]

A studded bra, high heeled boots and a thong provide the same kind of protection that a full suit of armor does.

If you'd ever fought a fit woman dressed like that, you'd realize the difficulty in hitting her.

 

Probably the most correct statement ever... Well, what if she was like super fat?

Die laughing or run away in horror.

Edited February 6, 2007 by Tale

[Walsingham]

You younger chaps have clearly never attended any kind of geek convention. Such occurrences are far less rare than you would like.