Vampires and stuff

[Diogo Ribeiro]

So, yesterday I saw this movie called Stylish Vampire Posse Smacks Down Pasty White Vampire Posse To The Sound Of Rap And Other Music That Already Outlived Its Musical And Cultural Usefulness.

 

I hear some people also call the movie Blade 2.

 

I can't really pinpoint the highlight of the film. No wait, that's not right. I can pinpoint several. Dialogues were cleverly very short and to the point so as not to bore the audience. We wouldn't want them to fall asleep between action sequences. I also enjoyed that said dialogues were filled with profanity. I mean, its not enough nowadays that we get derivative crap or sequels just for the sake of money. They also must have profanity by the metric load, because you know, it really adds to the immershun! thingie. It appeals to all generations and lifestyles, I guess, much like DVD and All in the Family reruns.

 

But what I also find interesting in the movie (aside Leonor Varela's curves) is the excellent script presented to us. I was really excited when I saw things like a guy fighting deadly vampires with nothing more than a shoulder pad, a heavy mace and some tattoos. It not only bodes well for originality, but it makes perfect sense. Kinda like waltzing into a warehouse with an underground rave scene flashing big weapons and having folks keep on dancing despite the fact that a handful of heavilly armed goons happened to carry enough weaponry to destroy the area. I have to find me some raves, they seem to be very relaxing.

 

Equally impressive is how vampires evolved. No longer a secret society of sorts, they're now nestled into their own corporate-looking buildings filled with multiple identity-checking machinery. Not that it matters much, though, given most of the vampires are so stiff in their acting that I'd be surpised that, gender-aside, there was an actual difference. They look like a cross between Keanu Reeves' wooden face and Nicholas Cage's dull voice: wheter they're fighting, dying, bleeding, or cracking jokes ("Can you blush ke ke ke") they will always look the same and keep the same face and monotone, emotionless voices. At least they'll have perfect models for action figurines based on most of the cast's acting, so not all is lost.

 

Speaking of cast you have some very well-crafted characters. I have got to hand it to the writers. You have a very original "yo yo yo wassup dude I speak like an foul-mouthed moron and move like a rapper but I can make bombz0rz!!!"-themed personage. His acting - not all too different from the cinematic tour de force that was Dude, Where's My Car? - is a shining example of how Hollywood can actually bring out the bestest, freshest actors. Kris Kristofferson, as the aged partner of Blade, really shines as well. Well, what little is possible to shine trough that film of filth and grime on his clothes and hair, anyway.

 

The Bloodpack - a curious vampiric mercenary force that was trained to catch Blade but can't stand up to lesser vampires, in a striking resemblance to the prestiged members of Neverwinter's Academy that succumbed at the hands of 1 HP Goblins - is perfect. If you handn't guessed it, the towering behemoth that I mentioned before (the half-naked, mace-wielding prince of harm) is one of them. They are a very diverse and atypical bunch, and some of the best lines in the movie ("Yaaarrgh!!!") are theirs. This was *the* posse that should be in all rap videoclips. They own like no other posse has owned before.

 

Another great thing about this movie is the storyline. It friggin' rocks. You just cannot shake the feeling that, if Blade and the chick actually got it on, you'd cry because of its perfection. There's blood. There's coreographed stunts. CGI ass-kicking powered by WWF moves. Vampires investing in DNA-tampering. Vampiric roadkill. It's got everything. It really is a shame that the main vampire chick (as cool and hot /as Drow chicks) didn't get it on with Blade. I mean come on. Black vampires need loving too. But I think its understandable. In my conspirational expertise, I think the movie was slated to have the main romance happen between Wesley Snipes and Ron Pearlman. Seriously. They flirt with each other like no one else in the movie (except the hot vampire chick and her three-way jaw brother in the end... yes, there's some vampiric inbred innuendo too, for those that like it). The best and most romantic lines belong to them ("Can you blush?" and "**** you" are riveting). Many times they're face to face, and you can't shake the feeling that they're about to lock lips. When Pearlman's raspy, seductive voice tells Snipes that the switch in the bomb is stuck, you can be sure that any gay person in the theatre will just cream themselves with pure extasy.

 

Alas, Blade has to resign himself to just rubbing his leather outfit on himself.

 

 

Seriously, its great. I can't wait for Blade 3.

 

 

 

Yes, this is not meant to be taken seriously.

[Volourn]

So... Did you like the movie? LOLZ

[Diogo Ribeiro]

<3 Blade 2, oh yes.

 

No.

 

I like action movies, but some just feel way too... artificial and uninspired in their end result. Blade 2 just didn't cut it for me (despite all the 'cutting' going on in the movie hur hur hur). I consider it serviceable at best, very forgetable at worst.

 

I just felt like I needed to vent for having lost time in yet another movie that's boring and souless, if such a term can apply to a non-living thing.

[Child of Flame]

So, yesterday I saw this movie called Stylish Vampire Posse Smacks Down Pasty White Vampire Posse To The Sound Of Rap And Other Music That Already Outlived Its Musical And Cultural Usefulness.

 

I hear some people also call the movie Blade 2.

 

I can't really pinpoint the highlight of the film. No wait, that's not right. I can pinpoint several. Dialogues were cleverly very short and to the point so as not to bore the audience. We wouldn't want them to fall asleep between action sequences. I also enjoyed that said dialogues were filled with profanity. I mean, its not enough nowadays that we get derivative crap or sequels just for the sake of money. They also must have profanity by the metric load, because you know, it really adds to the immershun! thingie. It appeals to all generations and lifestyles, I guess, much like DVD and All in the Family reruns.

 

But what I also find interesting in the movie (aside Leonor Varela's curves) is the excellent script presented to us. I was really excited when I saw things like a guy fighting deadly vampires with nothing more than a shoulder pad, a heavy mace and some tattoos. It not only bodes well for originality, but it makes perfect sense. Kinda like waltzing into a warehouse with an underground rave scene flashing big weapons and having folks keep on dancing despite the fact that a handful of heavilly armed goons happened to carry enough weaponry to destroy the area. I have to find me some raves, they seem to be very relaxing.

 

Equally impressive is how vampires evolved. No longer a secret society of sorts, they're now nestled into their own corporate-looking buildings filled with multiple identity-checking machinery. Not that it matters much, though, given most of the vampires are so stiff in their acting that I'd be surpised that, gender-aside, there was an actual difference. They look like a cross between Keanu Reeves' wooden face and Nicholas Cage's dull voice: wheter they're fighting, dying, bleeding, or cracking jokes ("Can you blush ke ke ke") they will always look the same and keep the same face and monotone, emotionless voices. At least they'll have perfect models for action figurines based on most of the cast's acting, so not all is lost.

 

Speaking of cast you have some very well-crafted characters. I have got to hand it to the writers. You have a very original "yo yo yo wassup dude I speak like an foul-mouthed moron and move like a rapper but I can make bombz0rz!!!"-themed personage. His acting - not all too different from the cinematic tour de force that was Dude, Where's My Car? - is a shining example of how Hollywood can actually bring out the bestest, freshest actors. Kris Kristofferson, as the aged partner of Blade, really shines as well. Well, what little is possible to shine trough that film of filth and grime on his clothes and hair, anyway.

 

The Bloodpack - a curious vampiric mercenary force that was trained to catch Blade but can't stand up to lesser vampires, in a striking resemblance to the prestiged members of Neverwinter's Academy that succumbed at the hands of 1 HP Goblins - is perfect. If you handn't guessed it, the towering behemoth that I mentioned before (the half-naked, mace-wielding prince of harm) is one of them. They are a very diverse and atypical bunch, and some of the best lines in the movie ("Yaaarrgh!!!") are theirs. This was *the* posse that should be in all rap videoclips. They own like no other posse has owned before.

 

Another great thing about this movie is the storyline. It friggin' rocks. You just cannot shake the feeling that, if Blade and the chick actually got it on, you'd cry because of its perfection. There's blood. There's coreographed stunts. CGI ass-kicking powered by WWF moves. Vampires investing in DNA-tampering. Vampiric roadkill. It's got everything. It really is a shame that the main vampire chick (as cool and hot /as Drow chicks) didn't get it on with Blade. I mean come on. Black vampires need loving too. But I think its understandable. In my conspirational expertise, I think the movie was slated to have the main romance happen between Wesley Snipes and Ron Pearlman. Seriously. They flirt with each other like no one else in the movie (except the hot vampire chick and her three-way jaw brother in the end... yes, there's some vampiric inbred innuendo too, for those that like it). The best and most romantic lines belong to them ("Can you blush?" and "**** you" are riveting). Many times they're face to face, and you can't shake the feeling that they're about to lock lips. When Pearlman's raspy, seductive voice tells Snipes that the switch in the bomb is stuck, you can be sure that any gay person in the theatre will just cream themselves with pure extasy.

 

Alas, Blade has to resign himself to just rubbing his leather outfit on himself.

 

 

Seriously, its great. I can't wait for Blade 3.

 

 

 

Yes, this is not meant to be taken seriously.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

If it really is that bad, it's a right shame. Blade the comic book hero pwnt. I liked the storyline where he teamed up with Spidey. Oh well, at least Blade 3 will have Jessica Biel for eye candy.

[Janmanden]

Modern vampire movies are really amazing. Gone are the bat wings, coffins and the bug eating minions. The magic and the mystery is now replaced by the latest and the greatest high tech weaponry. When I read through the above I had Blade and Underworld mixed up for a time. Funny how these immortals seems to be very shortlived creatures bend on their own destruction with superpowers to ensure the max action-bang for the buck. No need to tire us with purpose, overly complexity or depth. Very commendable indeed.

[Sugrob]

Umm, I thought Blade Too was meant to be a comedy... Or at least a parody of some sort...

 

Seriously, I did. No kidding. If you watch it as a comedy/parody than it all makes sense and even becomes enjoyable to watch... But it should really be watched with a bunch of friends and a fridge of beer, commenting and laughing all along.

 

I stopped taking Hollywood seriously when... well, I can't remember whether I've ever been taking it seriously, actually...

 

So naah, don't bash that movie. They simply classified it wrong.

[Oerwinde]

I'd like to see a movie based on Vampire: The Masquerade. The lame TV show didn't do the world justice at all, what with the Vampires unaffected by sunlight and all.

[Kitch]

That was weird. I took a break from reading Interview With The Vampire, and I come here and see a vampire thread. Creepy.

[Diogo Ribeiro]

I'd like to see a movie based on Vampire: The Masquerade. The lame TV show didn't do the world justice at all, what with the Vampires unaffected by sunlight and all.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

*ahem*.

[Oerwinde]

I'd like to see a movie based on Vampire: The Masquerade. The lame TV show didn't do the world justice at all, what with the Vampires unaffected by sunlight and all.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

*ahem*.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Damn, how did I miss that....

[Monte Carlo]

Blade 2 was, like, an ultra-violent screen saver. Ron Perlman was the best thing in it, really. I like Snipes as an actor and an action movie hero, actually, but this wasn't his finest hour.

 

What bothered me was that the Bloodpack was this ill-disciplined bag o' ****. If the vamps have become this ultra-slick corporate entity, wouldn't their covert warrior elite be more like some sort of glam special forces outfit? Not a bunch of scruffy goths/ Marilyn Manson fans armed with melee weapons?

 

So, yeah, half an hour into it the torpor set in. It's as if they have a "please the kids" flow chart of stuff they have to have.

 

BTW, I haven't seen Hellboy yet. Is it any good?

 

Cheers

MC

[Phosphor]

BTW, I haven't seen Hellboy yet. Is it any good?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I liked it, but then I'm not familiar with the comic book. It was a much slower film than I was expecting, so I was nicely surprised there. The dialogue was a bit shoddy and there was too much filler at the expense of a proper ending (ie the ending seemed rushed and unbelieveable, while it could have been made better at the expense of cutting some previous content).

Visually it was great, Ron Perlman was excellent and the story was nicely pulp/weird fiction.

[Whitemithrandir]

Underworld was fun

A decent vampire flick

If a bit "Gothy".

[Diogo Ribeiro]

I haven't seen Hellboy yet, but I've been told its good. I'll believe it when I see it.

['JN]

Could you have wasted any more time making a completely moot point? The movie doesn't try to fit into the same niche that its predecessor did. I figured that out about ten minutes in and had no trouble enjoying it after that. It's a semi-intelligent Hollywood action flick, and an entertaining one at that.

[Diogo Ribeiro]

Could you have wasted any more time making a completely moot point?

 

Yes, but I didn't felt quite like it.

 

The movie doesn't try to fit into the same niche that its predecessor did.

 

Good for... it?

 

I figured that out about ten minutes in and had no trouble enjoy it after that.

 

Good for... you?

 

It's a semi-intelligent Hollywood action flick, and an entertaining one at that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Yay.

[Kaftan Barlast]

Why even bother with all this pointless..whats it called, that thing that is used to fill up the space between action sequences? ..oh, story its called I think. Anyway it'd be alot better if we just got an hour of nonstop explosions, violence, ruckus, mutilation, nudity and explicit gore?

 

 

I mean, why eat the whole sandwich when all you want is the cheese?

[tripleRRR]

Am I the only one who liked this movie?

 

 

TripleRRR

[Hell Kitty]

Am I the only one who liked this movie?

 

 

TripleRRR

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I liked it, but then, I'm easily pleased.

[Majek]

Am I the only one who liked this movie?

 

 

TripleRRR

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

no. i liked it too. i liked the first one more though.

[tripleRRR]

Well thats a relief.

 

 

TripleRRR