The New Cinema and Movie Thread

[Sarex]

11 hours ago, majestic said:

If you mean the talk between Shinji and Gendo at the end in the negative universe, then kind of, yes.

Yes, just with the PoV reversed.

11 hours ago, majestic said:

There's something I haven't mentioned yet, I never could shake the feeling during the entire film that it is somewhat derivative of other concepts. I felt like I've seen all of that before, or read about it, or played games with such plot points. I can't really give any specifics though.

I mean every story that could be written has already been written. I think there are like 12 story archetypes, so not that much basic variations possible.

[Gromnir]

Guillermo Del Toro Presents First Look at ‘Pinocchio’

HA! Good Fun!

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

Jurassic World: Dominion

Well I'll be, I think I've found the worst movie of the year or maybe even the decade. It's hacked together predictable dinosaur jump scares and epic dinosaur wide shots stitched with some **** about unethical scientists and heartfelt moments without the heart. Oh and giant bugs. I don't recommend it at all. Almost anything else would be better than that 2.5 hours.

[Bartimaeus]

5 hours ago, KP wants Blue Velvet said:

Jurassic World: Dominion

Well I'll be, I think I've found the worst movie of the year or maybe even the decade. It's hacked together predictable dinosaur jump scares and epic dinosaur wide shots stitched with some **** about unethical scientists and heartfelt moments without the heart. Oh and giant bugs. I don't recommend it at all. Almost anything else would be better than that 2.5 hours.

RLM only gave it literally about a thirty second review because of how much they didn't care. Probably could've saved yourself some time, .

On 6/16/2022 at 1:02 AM, Gromnir said:

Guillermo Del Toro Presents First Look at ‘Pinocchio’

HA! Good Fun!

It's a little confusing that there are two Pinocchio films literally called "Pinocchio" coming out in 2022 - this del Toro stop-motion one (December) and also the Walt Disney live action one (September). Well, I know which one is bound to at least be a lot more interesting...

Edited June 20, 2022 by Bartimaeus

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

2 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

RLM only gave it literally about a thirty second review because of how much they didn't care. Probably could've saved yourself some time, .

My dad wanted to see it for Father's Day. It was not my first choice.

[majestic]

17 hours ago, Bartimaeus said:

It's a little confusing that there are two Pinocchio films literally called "Pinocchio" coming out in 2022 - this del Toro stop-motion one (December) and also the Walt Disney live action one (September). Well, I know which one is bound to at least be a lot more interesting...

I used to watch ピコリーノの冒険 as a child - which has no real relation to either of the films, just wanted to say that. Anyway, while the 1976 anime wasn't dark or twisted, it was a different take on the story, particularily where the fox and the cat were concerned. They were mischievous if not downright criminal and got the naive puppet into trouble all the time.

Kinda loathe to try rewatching. It was fun as a kid, not sure how that would hold up. Anyway, mildly looking forward to the del Toro version. Big nope on the Disney thing.

[uuuhhii]

the new doctor strange movie feels dangerously like comic

that may not be a good direction to go

[InsaneCommander]

I enjoyed Multiverse of Madness, but there were plenty of stupid decisions by the characters, the main one being
 

Spoiler

Reed Richards telling Wanda exactly how to deal with Black Bolt. The result was hilarious anyway.

Also, how come the 838 Universe's heroes needed the book of Vishanti to defeat Thanos, if they had the Avengers, Fantastic Four, Inhumans and the X-Men? This doesn't make sense, but I suppose with an infinite multiverse anything and everything is possible somewhere...

 

[InsaneCommander]

On 6/12/2022 at 4:43 PM, Bartimaeus said:

I'm pretty sure the Bible said something about we four Horsemen of the Apocalypse all liking the same thing being the ignition for the end times, so I'm personally hoping @majestic hates it. InsaneCommander can probably get by with enjoying it without the apocalypse starting, though.

 

Bad news, I changed my mind and went to watch Racoonatouille and Paddington 2. Oh, I mean:

 

Everything Everywhere at Once

Crazy and silly, but I agree with @KP wants Blue Velvetand @Sarex, it's a pretty good movie, including the moments it was being serious. It was more than two hours, but when it was over that was not my impression.

Just don't ask me about the hot dog universe. Come on, I said above that in an infinite universe, everything should be possible somewhere, but this? This may be too much. And it actually serves a purpose in the story, becoming relevant when Evelyn needs it.

And there are worse offenders, that @majestic mentioned in his post.
 

Spoiler

If you watch this video at 0.25x, you will see universes where she was a statue, a cat and even a bunch of grapes. Not to mention the rock.

Anyway, these things don't bother me if the movie is not supposedly to be serious.

 

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

I enjoyed this one too. It is mostly a comedy, but everything is done well: the action scenes, making fun of Nicholas Cage and the acting too. I could point out some plot holes, but who cares, they are nothing that grabbed my attention for more than a moment.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

Looks like the Apocalypse is back on the menu buckos?

Anyways....Elvis (2022). It's good. Surprisingly so. But it left me feeling very sad.

[majestic]

40 minutes ago, KP wants Blue Velvet said:

Looks like the Apocalypse is back on the menu buckos?

Nah, guess you'll have to wait until I try (and inevitably not like) Samurai Champloo.

[Lexx]

The intro of Samurai Champloo is pretty fire tho.

[Bartimaeus]

5 hours ago, Lexx said:

The intro of Samurai Champloo is pretty fire tho.

I hated it the first time I listened to it, but I liked it by the time I got to the end of the show. The power using something appropriately for something you like, I guess.

Edited June 27, 2022 by Bartimaeus

[Raithe]

 

[Keyrock]

For no reason whatsoever, here's s gif of the worst best CGI ever:

So lifelike!

[Amentep]

6 minutes ago, Keyrock said:

For no reason whatsoever, here's s gif of the worst best CGI ever:

So lifelike!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation would like to have a word....

 

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

8 minutes ago, Keyrock said:

For no reason whatsoever, here's s gif of the worst best CGI ever:

So lifelike!

This looks like every SciFi Channel SyFy original movie and CW show from the aughts.

But anyway....

You can also apply the above to @Amentep's whatever the hell that is.

Edited June 27, 2022 by KP wants Blue Velvet

[Amentep]

6 minutes ago, KP wants Blue Velvet said:

You can also apply the above to @Amentep's whatever the hell that is.

[Keyrock]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation CGI looks like something out of a promotional video for the Riva TNT video card.

[Bartimaeus]

33 minutes ago, Amentep said:

can we replace "" with this instead

[majestic]

Spawn's devil wants to remind you that he exist too.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

1 hour ago, Bartimaeus said:

can we replace "" with this instead

Excuse you.

He even does the same thing with his hands.

[Keyrock]

5 minutes ago, majestic said:

Spawn's devil wants to remind you that he exist too.

I forgot that movie existed. Now I very vaguely remember John Leguizamo was in it and also that it was bad.

[majestic]

Tilda Swinton's Non-Interactive Walking Simulator (2021)

Well, the actual title of the 'film' is Memoria, but why not call it by what it is. It roped me into being watched by having a favorable review in a newspaper I read and Tilda Swinton in the lead, and when isn't Tilda Swinton delightful in what she shows up in? In cases of filmmakers who create walking simulators but forget to make them a video game. The basic premise of the film is rather simple, Jessica, played by Tilda Swinton, is one fine night woken by a strange sound she will later describe as a rumble deep in the earth caused by a small concrete ball hitting a metallic surface.

That sets off a chain of events that's best described as Tilda Swinton walking through various scenes that are with two exceptions filmed in flat angles with perfectly static framing. No, this isn't one of my exaggerations, outside of one scene where she walks down a road with the camera following her and one scene where the camera is mounted inside her car (which promptly stops to make it static again), there is zero camera movement in the film. The shots are either wide when there's no dialogue to be had, or close when there is. That is the entire extent of the film's camera usage, which was described, by the review, as delightful experience for all senses. At best this applies to the sound engineering of the film.

Saying that the pacing of this fabrication of scenes is glacial would be doing an injustice to the speed at which glaciers are currently disappearing. Continental plate drift is pretty quick in comparison, but even that comparison falls flat, because in order to have a pace, one needs a plot that proceeds at it. Which this film doesn't have. For the most part, it really is just a loose collection of incredibly boring, static shots of Tilda Swinton walking through Columbia - which is admittedly a pretty country, all in all.

Every now and then she interacts with another character. One called Juan, and one called Hernan, because apparently the director and script writer could not come up with any other Spanish sounding names. There's a doctor who gives Jessica a Jesus loves you brochure to help her with the insomnia she's struggling with.

Spoiler

She eventually meets the cause of the sounds when visiting a friend who is overseeing an excavation where a construction site unearthed several thousand year old graves. After a curious talk, it turns out that there's an alien space ship in Columbia that promptly leaves, the sound she's hearing being the misfiring of its engine. No, really, that's about the gist of it. Hernan, whom she interacts with in a young and aged version - and no, that doesn't make sense in the context of the film either - either is at least in part an alien or he acts as spokesperson for them, with Jessica as someone who can read their thoughts. Erm, interact with them. Whatever, it doesn't matter.

 

Ironically, if you're looking for a cure for insomnia, this might be it. I don't have any issues with films that don't readily make sense, or that are slow paced, but in such cases they need to be visually interesting - they're films, after all, and this is a masterful showcase of how to not achieve that. For those of you that played Furi, imagine watching roughly two hours and fifteen minutes of the game's 'storyline' unfold between the fights, just with a lot less talking. Eh, and no strange worlds, just Columbia, with people walking about.

Or, if you want, imagine a film that is basically a point and click adventure let's play. Just without puzzles, or jokes, or anything that makes point and click adventures interesting.

One of the reviews really stand out:

Quote

Designed and deserving to be seen big and loud, Memoria is a hypnotic, unquantifiable, occasionally inpenetrable sonic odyssey from a unique cinematic voice. 

Emphasis added by me. That may very well be the case, but at the end of the day, it is a film, not an audio drama or a collection of meditative audio tracks you put on to relax. Actually, if you removed the film part, and just let everything play without visuals on the screen, the experience would probably be worthwhile. Alas, once more, I don't understand the raving reviews. Looking at an experimental film that says nothing and tries to be contemplative is all nice if it works, but it just doesn't.

I don't even know how I should rate this. Tilda Swinton gives a good performance that simply doesn't work and does not evoke the slightest reaction. Guess I'm not one for meditative experiences. Who would have thunk?

If I had not watched Sailor Moon Crystal I'd rate this travesty as the worst piece of dreck I've ever had the misfortune to sit through, and I'm not sure Sailor Moon Crystal, in a vaccuum, is worse - it is just really bad next to the older version. Hell, I'd rather watch The Last Jedi again, and that is a film that made me appreciate Attack of the Clones.

Now, if you feel the need to call me an uneducated gonk with no appreciation for art, go ahead, but at least try to explain to me how a film consisting of next to zero visually interesting shots is supposed to be a masterpiece of filmmaking and cinematography.

Edit: I want to take this opportunity to apologize to @David Lynch who most likely isn't reading this forum anway that I called Mulholland Drive pretentious cow droppings. I profusely apologize and repent, I have seen the light. Yep.

Edited June 27, 2022 by majestic
Bits and pieces, should really proof-read before pressing post.

[Bartimaeus]

This brings back to mind a film I've mentioned a few times over the years, Jeanne Dielman (1975), which based on your description of and subsequent reaction to Memoria, I don't think I could recommend to you. Jeanne Dielman is a 3 hour and 22 minute Belgian-French film about a lady that speaks to no-one and does chores. I thought it was neat and interesting, but also that it would be the most painfully long and boring film in the entire history of cinema for the vast majority of movie-watchers. Just imagine: a minute longer than the theatrical version of The Return of the King (and really, more than that because of how much time is taken up by the credits of TRotK!), but almost literally nothing of note happens the entire length of the film. So I'm going to watch Memoria to see how it compares to that.

Right, the first 45 seconds of the film (I actually checked) are taken up by this frame:

A bit indulgent already for my tastes. The next three and a half minutes are Tilda Swanson comically shambling out of bed. Somehow, this already feels much worse right off the bat than Jeanne Dielman did to me. ...Alright, I'm twenty minutes in, and I think I have to call it quits. This is deathly boring. I don't know what Jeanne Dielman did exactly that made it feel a little different and more interesting than this, but this just isn't working for me. Maybe it's because I felt some sort of human connection to the character in Jeanne Dielman and I very much don't to Tilda Swanson here.

Edited June 28, 2022 by Bartimaeus
I can't into spell Jeanne