The TV and Streaming Thread: Now up for syndication...

[Amentep]

1 minute ago, Bartimaeus said:

I watched this a couple of weeks ago, I think. Don't think it's a real show, just a...short they did, basically. If it became a real show, I'd be pretty interested in checking it out just for the novelty.

My understanding that was a pitch concept trailer.  Cartoon Network has also filed for a trademark on Learning with Pibby: Apocalypse with the subsequent speculation being that Cartoon Network has decided to develop the series.

[HoonDing]

Come to think of it, Wheel of time must have the most laughably incompetent villains in all of fantasy.

[Sarex]

1 minute ago, HoonDing said:

Come to think of it, Wheel of time must have the most laughably incompetent villains in all of fantasy.

The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

22 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

Both Mike and Jay of RLM said a new Netflix show that came out on the same day as Squid Game called Midnight Mass was one of the best things they saw in years, and to go into it blind. I closed the video before they could say anymore and watched the first couple of episodes, and all I got so far are the "eyes wide" emoji. Small town atmosphere and mystery show

Parts of it are a bit too slow or just an overload of information, but overall it's pretty good.

Don't read unless you've seen episode 3

How did this mother****er see that and think "wow that's an angel"? Does this take place in an alternative reality where vampire fiction never existed?

[Bartimaeus]

13 minutes ago, KP Cross Split Attack said:

Parts of it are a bit too slow or just an overload of information, but overall it's pretty good.

Don't read unless you've seen episode 3

 

  Reveal hidden contents

How did this mother****er see that and think "wow that's an angel"? Does this take place in an alternative reality where vampire fiction never existed?

 

Only watched the first two so far, so I'll wait to read that until probably tonight when I watch the next episode. Haven't had any trouble so far, and there's been a ton of little foreshadowing hints for what's occurred thus far - we'll see if they keep it up. I think I have somewhat of a grip on what's happening, but we'll see.

Edited November 18, 2021 by Bartimaeus

[Zoraptor]

1 hour ago, Sarex said:

  Hide contents

It wouldn't be that big of a deal to cut Mat from the Eye of the World (as in the location). Realistically him being there had no impact on anything else in the later books, plus holes in his memory gives the showrunners a lot of wiggle room.

Also Caemlyn not being in makes sense as they are giving Logain a much bigger role, so I image his whole story (or most of it) of being a false dragon is going to be covered.

 

WoT spoilers
 

Spoiler

It would introduce some potential issues. The major change would be that Mat wouldn't (or shouldn't) need to be chasing the dagger in S2 if he's already healed, and him literally dying is his motivation for going (and Perrin's too for that matter). It's a lot lot easier to give Rand an alternative motivation than Mat*, assuming they aren't changing Mat's characterisation. There's also the matter of getting him to Tear for the events at the end of TDR, which was predicated on him being healed in Tar Valon at the start of TDR. That at least is later on though and there's more flexibility.

*Very much speculation on speculation, but if Rand meets Elayne in Caemlyn in S2- and it isn't a flashback- they could get Mat to Falme via replacing her in Liandrin's group or similar. Elayne's main contributions were eavesdropping to get there and stealing apples, both of which actually fit Mat a lot better; and suspicion of aes sedai and a desire to protect the girls provides motivation. You'd potentially then need another reason for Morgase to get peeved at the tower, but we don't even know if that plot line will be retained- and Lord Gaebril is reason enough anyway.

 

[InsaneCommander]

50 minutes ago, Zoraptor said:

WoT spoilers
 

  Reveal hidden contents

It would introduce some potential issues. The major change would be that Mat wouldn't (or shouldn't) need to be chasing the dagger in S2 if he's already healed, and him literally dying is his motivation for going (and Perrin's too for that matter). It's a lot lot easier to give Rand an alternative motivation than Mat*, assuming they aren't changing Mat's characterisation. There's also the matter of getting him to Tear for the events at the end of TDR, which was predicated on him being healed in Tar Valon at the start of TDR. That at least is later on though and there's more flexibility.

*Very much speculation on speculation, but if Rand meets Elayne in Caemlyn in S2- and it isn't a flashback- they could get Mat to Falme via replacing her in Liandrin's group or similar. Elayne's main contributions were eavesdropping to get there and stealing apples, both of which actually fit Mat a lot better; and suspicion of aes sedai and a desire to protect the girls provides motivation. You'd potentially then need another reason for Morgase to get peeved at the tower, but we don't even know if that plot line will be retained- and Lord Gaebril is reason enough anyway.

 

Based on the Season 2 information released so far, some people speculate that
 

Spoiler

they will merge books 2 and 3. So there would be no Falme and everyone would go straight to Tear. The Seanchan would have to attack there too, while all the mess in the Stone happened.

As strange as it would be, something like this will eventually happen since they are planning for 8 seasons and even that is not guaranteed.

It will be released in half an hour, but I wonder if that is only in the US.

[Raithe]

And WoT drops the first three episodes on Amazon at the turn of midnight.

Hm, late night binge three episodes to be considered....

[majestic]

Star Dreck: Venal Disease, Season 4, episode one.

Opens with a very helpful reminder of how absolutely balls to the walls dumb the premise of last season was. 700 years in the future, the Federation was unable to find reliable alternatives to the warp drive that have been in use in various "25 years into the future" episodes throughout the entire run of the franchise, several alternatives to warp drives that were already pretty much reliable in the older shows, but hey, never mind. Been there, done that.

IN AN INSTANT, THE BURN FLASHED ACROSS ALL KNOWN SPACE. Sure Michael.

It's 700 years into the future. If you want the Federation to have fallen, then just do that. So many possibilities. Renewed tensions with the Klingons. A second war with the Dominion. A costly Borg invasion. Internal decay.

Out of all the options in the galaxy to reach the point where they wanted to be, the writers sat in their writing room and came up with the dumbest excuse of a plot premise in the history of ever, and that includes Jar Jar Binks putting forth a motion that eventually changed the Republic into the Galactic Empire. Hell, Jar Jar is a better character than any of the people on this ship, and that's...

...

Okay. *steps down from the soapbox*

I'm 36 SECONDS into the episode at this point. 36 SECONDS. Hell.

 

50 seconds in: The reminder that THE BURN was caused by the scream of a uhm, whatshisface race name (I know it's Kelpien) child.

I wonder if I'll get through the "Last season on Star Dreck: Worse than AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIDSSSSSSSSS" without suffering a stroke.

NUMB ARM. NUMB ARM NARM NARM NARMM NARM NARM NARM.

Oh, right, that numb nut Booker is still around too. Great to see Cyborg Whatsherface and the other people of the bridge crew that didn't get names until a couple of episodes back because why bother with worldbuilding.

Spoilers from here on out, don't tell me I didn't warn ya.

Spoiler

Discovery visits Pandora (not actual name of the planet they are at, none given so far - just a planet with floating mountains). Booker's ship leaves from the shuttle bay and demonstrates that it can fall into several pieces that promptly reattach themselves.

Pandora has a jungle and weird glowy insects hanging from a tree. Okay. I have already reached a point where it does not matter what else this show is going to do, I'm going to hate it out of principle, even if it's something interesting.

Well color me orange and call me sunkist, they're actually meeting Na'vi here.

Come sweet death, and release me from my pain...

Guys, Pandora was a little more colorful than that, and it sure had better special effects, and while Avatar wasn't a great film outside of being three hours of stunning special effects, it was still a damn sight better than this trash, and that includes a character played by Sam Worthington.

Short vote, should we keep a "Burnham cries" couter? So far it's zero.

Pandorean antennae-less Andorians having a pyjama party. Looks like all the show's budget went into making Booker's ship fall appart and rearrange itself for no reason.

Who had the idea to make Booker part of a sort of first contact mission? Why is Michael down there alone with Book, out of all people. Ah, never... why bring a diplomat to a first contact (or re-establish contact after 700 years sort) mission when you can bring a renegade Starfleet officer and a known smuggler and eco-terrorist.

Can't believe I have 49 (!) minutes left on this episode.

This is too much. They... complain that Booker's fat cat is on the ship, then complain that cats are carnivorous, then Book does his spiel that his cat is a queen, and they think they hold an actual monarch captive. Yeah, sure. This is about as fun as the opening of Star Dreck: Beyond Bad.

Pale blue guy with pale blue eyes puts on his batman costume and becomes very, very angry. His various Robins follow suit:

I'm Batman!

Well...  this is going to be the beginning of a running joke. A criminal, a renegade and Batman the Emperor walk into a forest...

Booker and Burnham run away while being shot at by Batman and his entourage, helpfully forgetting that they all got short range personal transporter systems in the past. Jump down a cliff to get picked up by a mini-shuttle and they fly away fighting over the cat while still being shot at by Emperor Bruce Wayne.

Doesn't look like death will release me from my woes.

Michael figures out that something's wrong with the Na'vi's GPS system (no, I mean that, literally, they have navigation satellites in orbit that no longer work) and send out Discovery's swarm of EVAs from Wall-E to insert dilithium into the inactive GPS satellites because apparently they still haven't figured out that dilithium isn't a power supply. But okay, they helpfully have them in Pandorean technology compatible small battery packs.

Well good thing they came prepared for all eventualities, right?

Burnham drops off a load of dilithium and feels REALLY good about making a mess out of a first contact situation.

I can't. I don't even. 10 minutes. This was only TEN MINUTES. Cue intro.

Saru has become the "Great Elder" of the Kelpiens. I guess he's technically 930 years from the past, but how does that make him a great Elder? He explains that beyond our galaxy lies "space", proving once again that the writing team should really bring back scientific advisors. Booker leaves for his nephew's bar mitzvah.

Michael is giving a speech at the newly opened Starfleet Academy. First order of business should be enlisting as many cadets willing to become actual diplomats as possible. There's 16 (counted) new cadets. *snort* That'll make half a skeleton crew in 5 years.

"Rousing" speech by both Burnham and the new UFP president. They reveal the Archer spacedock. You know, I didn't like most of Enterprise. I hated watching the show back when it aired. I still hate the first two seasons, the third wasn't bad and the fourth even had good episodes, but not even that travesty of a Star Trek show deserves to be referenced in STD.

Tilly... Tilly and Michael have a conversation that is so painful it hurts listening to it. Tilly also looks... a bit unwell. She was pregnant back in season three - the actress, I mean - but now she looks... unwell. Kind of, dunno. Like not very healthy, and I don't mean her weight. Also, boy, is that dialogue bad. Like, bad bad. Not just bad. Terrible. Stilted. The acting is terrible too. This is worse than last season's ultra stupid talk about Adira's pronouns.

President wants to join a dangerous rescue and repair mission and Burnham lectures her on safety protocols. Something something captain of a ship something not going on away missions something or other something, something. I mean, yeah, this is a Kirk era starship, but we're well into the future.

Discovery does a Tribble purr when jumping now, and the new uniforms look terrible.

Weird gravity negative space wedgie seems to have slingshot the station away, and it's tumbling through space at a pretty high velocity. Hey, maybe the Magog brought a point singularily projector to Star Trek. We already visitied Batman on Pandora. Commander of the station tells them their intertial dampeners aren't working so well right now. At that speed and rotation, if that's the case guys, you should be stuck to a wall... possibly mush. Whatever.

Stupid ass dialogue between the bridge crew reminds me of stupid ass shows for teenagers. Please someone shut those retards up. Please. STOP TALKING YOU BUNCH OF JACKASSES. JUST STOP TALKING FOR F*CKS SAKE.

Oh look, Discovery missed that they're drifting into a massive debris field of frozen methane. Michael says it's an Oort Cloud. Sure Michael. How did they miss that? I mean, by talking like stupid teenagers and not paying attention to their computer readouts, but what the hell. Discovery extends shields around the station and starts taking a pounding.

The set this season looks so incredibly cheap, there are flames coming out of the walls that are so clearly gas based pyrotechnics that every pyrotechnics tech does better at a heavy metal concert.

Is this CGI Morn, or does Discovery have an Infinity Stone?

Heavy metal, heavy metal daaaaaaze!

So mister D. J. play just one for me
You know the one with the crashin' and the screams
'Cause only one thing really sets me free
Heavy metal loud as it can be

 

Michael leaves the ship on a thingmajig they call "worker bee" to fix something on the station so the crew can escape through an escape ship. The worker bee gets hit by debris and she's not apparently exposed to the vacuum of space. Okay. 30 seconds until she should lose consciousness. Wait, an EV suit automatically activates and saves her. Why didn't she have that thing on in the first place if that mission involved the risk of being hit?

Meanwhile the commander of the space station flips out and is talked down by the Federation President who tagged along on Discovery, using, like words, instead of stupid action nonsense while Michael is flying throuh space trying to disloge some ten ton brick of frozen methane so the rescue ship can get away.

Detmer stares at the camera and says:

IF THE SHIELDS GO DOWN, WE COULD BE DESTROYED!

Oh, that gravity distortion is apparently flying at warp speed becaues it just reached Booker's home planet that just happens to be right next someplace to the repair station but would need long enough to reach "by regular warp" to necessitate rescue by Discovery. Book's ship is severely damaged by the gravity space wedgie.

I hate you Alex Kurtzman.

The redshirt commander of the station (who didn't have a red shirt on but was so clearly set up to tug on my heartstrings when he finally bites it) ends up dying. What a surprise. Aww, man. Awww. You know guys, this is a lesson you should have learned in season two, if we don't give a rat's ass about the characters you create, we don't care when they die. Like, at all. Adira and especially Tilly pretend like they're never lost friends or crewmates while being utterly shocked that random guy #4 they met twenty minutes ago died.

Michael is terrible at being the captain of Discovery. The president tells her about leadership.

Can we do away with Michael and keep the president as captain? She's so much better at this.

Wow, Michael is having a moment of pure, unadulterated toxic masculinity by staring down the Federation president and mouthing off in her face after she says that she came on board to evaluate Michael for a potential position of captaining an experimental new star ship, but that she is not ready. Michael, in this episode alone, botched a first contact and almost got everyone killed while still finding the time to argue with the president in the middle of an emergency.

Yeah Michael, sorry, but you suck and she's right. You shouldn't even be captain, let alone the captain of something untested.

Michael is all like I SAVED THE FEDERATION. I FIGURED OUT THE BURN. YOU DARE TELL ME I'M NOT READY! I'M READY FOR ANY COMMAND POSITION.

No, really. Federation president tells her that there's a time and place for Janeway as the captain, and a time and place for Picard, and that this is a time for Picard. Well, to be honest, it's never time for Janeway as a captain, as much as I like Kathryn Mulgrew in the role.

And I used to think that Voyager was the worst Star Trek had to offer. To quote Alexandra Roivas:

Quote

I was once a fool.

Looks like Book's home planet got eaten by the gravity wedgie. At least the crew is acknowledging that it should not have been able to travel as fast as it did. Good thing we can always justify nonsense by lampshading it in this sh*tshow.

Oh noes, Book's home planet didn't get eaten up, it was just thrown out of orbit and it sort of broke apart. Michael looks like she's about to cry but doesn't really, but I'll note that down.

Burnham crying counter = 1.

Can someone put me out of my misery please?

Edited November 19, 2021 by majestic

[Hurlshort]

I think you guys are watching Star Trek wrong.

Star Trek was best for me when I had the family TV to myself as a teenager. I'd turn it on around 7 PM, heat up a quesadilla in the microwave, and watch it on a decent sized screen. I might do my homework while I watched. It didn't matter what season it was or anything like that. It was just easy entertainment. 

[majestic]

24 minutes ago, Hurlsnot said:

I think you guys are watching Star Trek wrong.

Star Trek was best for me when I had the family TV to myself as a teenager. I'd turn it on around 7 PM, heat up a quesadilla in the microwave, and watch it on a decent sized screen. I might do my homework while I watched. It didn't matter what season it was or anything like that. It was just easy entertainment. 

Is that your takeaway here, we can't expect Star Wars movies to be good because they're meant to be silly entertainment and we're not supposed to expect Star Trek to be intelligent because it's... wait, what?

I'm sorry, I normally ignore you when you're pulling off a Hurlshot-defense of something, but:

 

Edited November 19, 2021 by majestic

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

47 minutes ago, majestic said:

Can someone put me out of my misery please?

There is only one way out.....

Unsubscribe from the service streaming Star Trek binge watch something so strange that it reveals to you that Stat Trek Discovery was an elaborate hoax by RLM to get viewers. It's what I did.

Edited November 19, 2021 by KP Cross Split Attack

[majestic]

1 minute ago, KP Cross Split Attack said:

Unsubscribe from the service streaming Star Trek binge watch something so strange that it reveals to you that Stat Trek Discovery was an elaborate hoax by RLM to get viewers. It's what I did.

If that is true, why is there no season three discussion by them? Something doesn't add up here.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

2 minutes ago, majestic said:

If that is true, why is there no season three discussion by them? Something doesn't add up here.

They backed out after getting viewers. Unfortunately the hoax took on a life of it's own, like Qanon.

[Bartimaeus]

47 minutes ago, majestic said:

Hurlsnot-defense

For this very specific context, for this very specific phrase, I have fixed that for you, . I'm sorry, Hurlshot, but these constant "IT'S FOR THE KEEDS" defenses of stuff...there are things that are made for teens or even children older than 5 that we watch as adults for the first time and hold up well, or that we even unabashedly love. I'm pretty sure Discovery isn't even made for children or teens, it's just dog crap, that's all, and it's O.K. to call it like it is. Well, it's not okay for majestic who has OCD that forces him to continue looking at, smelling, and tasting the dog crap, but for the rest of us, it's O.K. Pour one out for @majestic, he's the real victim here.

Edited November 19, 2021 by Bartimaeus

[Zoraptor]

I gave up before the STD S3 finale, and you just feel so much better for it. I certainly can appreciate the, er, dedication that goes into continuing, and the fact that that post has more care and thought put into it than the writers and producers put into the actual product. Indeed, probably more than they put into the entire season of product if not the entire series.

Gotta admit I outright loled at that bridge scene pic. Looks like a screen capture from a 2009 video game done in the style of the Wing Commander 2/ Privateer cinematics. Forum software must be paid by Paramount since it won't let me quote it and it won't even do a fresh embed (unless it's the wysiwyg going bonkers), and that's a terrible shame.

https://imgur.com/OTEAXrh

[Bartimaeus]

26 minutes ago, Zoraptor said:

I gave up before the STD S3 finale, and you just feel so much better for it. I certainly can appreciate the, er, dedication that goes into continuing, and the fact that that post has more care and thought put into it than the writers and producers put into the actual product. Indeed, probably more than they put into the entire season of product if not the entire series.

Gotta admit I outright loled at that bridge scene pic. Looks like a screen capture from a 2009 video game done in the style of the Wing Commander 2/ Privateer cinematics. Forum software must be paid by Paramount since it won't let me quote it and it won't even do a fresh embed (unless it's the wysiwyg going bonkers), and that's a terrible shame.

https://imgur.com/OTEAXrh

Have to do it by the direct image link, not its presentation page (or whatever you want to call it), like so:

https://i.imgur.com/OTEAXrh.png

[Zoraptor]

Yep, that's how I usually do it if a quote doesn't work, but it isn't working. The straight link was the last thing I tried.

(Firefox has a pending update and hasn't been shut down for ages, that's probably the reason for it. Can't discount Kurzman having shares in xenforo and messing with me though)

[Bartimaeus]

24 minutes ago, Zoraptor said:

Yep, that's how I usually do it if a quote doesn't work, but it isn't working. The straight link was the last thing I tried.

(Firefox has a pending update and hasn't been shut down for ages, that's probably the reason for it. Can't discount Kurzman having shares in xenforo and messing with me though)

I'm still on 88.0.1, which was the last version before the UI went to absolute garbage. Apparently it's up to version 95 now? They sure went through those quickly, considering 88 came out in March of this year.

Edited November 19, 2021 by Bartimaeus

[Hurlshort]

I suppose karma has reared its ugly head my way after my Star Trek comments.

I sat down with the whole flippin' family to watch Wheel of Time. I just re-read the first book. I was hoping for a Lord of the Rings feel. Instead I got a teenage soap opera with some silly looking Trollocs. They reminded me of the Kilrathi in the Wind Commander movie.

Spoiler

Why is Perrin married? Why are Egwene and Rand humping? Why are Moraine and Lan naked in a tub? Why is the innkeeper skinny? Why is it so gory?

I'm so upset. 25 years of waiting and this is what we get. My family is out and I don't know if I will watch another episode. 

[Bartimaeus]

30 minutes ago, Hurlsnot said:

I suppose karma has reared its ugly head my way after my Star Trek comments.

I sat down with the whole flippin' family to watch Wheel of Time. I just re-read the first book. I was hoping for a Lord of the Rings feel. Instead I got a teenage soap opera with some silly looking Trollocs. They reminded me of the Kilrathi in the Wind Commander movie.

  Reveal hidden contents

Why is Perrin married? Why are Egwene and Rand humping? Why are Moraine and Lan naked in a tub? Why is the innkeeper skinny? Why is it so gory?

I'm so upset. 25 years of waiting and this is what we get. My family is out and I don't know if I will watch another episode. 

If you're saying it wasn't good, it must be apocalyptically bad, and for that reason, I am out.

...Isn't the innkeeper supposed to be skinny? Wait, maybe it depends on which innkeeper it is. Maybe the one I'm thinking of is much later, I remember Rand and...Perrin or Mat having a run-in with a not so great skinny innkeeper...never trust a skinny innkeeper, I recall.

Edited November 19, 2021 by Bartimaeus

[Hurlshort]

Egwene's father is a skinny innkeeper. You are correct, there is a fairly interesting moment in the book later on that is no longer possible in the show. 

Also Matt is a thief in a small town. Where, like, everyone knows him. So...no idea what they are doing with that character, but I guess it doesn't matter since they will replace him. I don't know. I'm at a loss.

The whole show could have used a lot more foreshadowing and a lot less showing. I read an article about how sometimes these shows are helped by a limited budget. They need to rely on your imagination instead of special effects. I get that now.

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

1 hour ago, Hurlsnot said:

I was hoping for a Lord of the Rings feel. Instead I got a teenage soap opera with some silly looking Trollocs. They reminded me of the Kilrathi in the Wind Commander movie.

This is why I try to not care about adaptations, there is a very good chance they will be massive disappointments and massive disappointment is bad. Between majestic taking weekly psychic damage and you getting a disappointment 25 years in the making, apathy seems vindicated. But watch me come in here tomorrow to rage over Cowboy Bebop lmao.

47 minutes ago, Bartimaeus said:

If you're saying it wasn't good, it must be apocalyptically bad, and for that reason, I am out.

Maybe this is Hurlsnot hating something that is good? Thus proving his taste is an inversion of yours.

[the_dog_days]

Watched the 1st episode of the Wheel of Time. It sucks. They added way too many Hollywood-isms.

[Bartimaeus]

1 hour ago, KP Cross Split Attack said:

Maybe this is Hurlsnot hating something that is good? Thus proving his taste is an inversion of yours.

The thought did cross my mind, but from previous discussions we had on favorite movies and such, I think the proper conclusion was that Hurlshot is simply infinitely more forgiving of everything that I cannot stand...that, and my favorite movies were generally way too dark and stressful for him, as he tends to prefer more fun and carefree stuff. And so if he cannot stand it for reasons outside of that, well...well, I certainly don't think I could, that's for sure. The good news is I was not invested in enjoying the show at all to begin with - while I did enjoy the books way back when I read them, I have such an extreme skepticism for adaptations in general combined with a specific distaste for all the promotional materials that I saw for this show, so I am not phased at all if it does indeed stink. If nothing else, I now share the same extreme skepticism of anything half-decent coming out of Amazon's Lord of the Rings.

By the way, I did watch the next episode of Midnight Mass. Uh...yeah, that was pretty wack.

Edited November 19, 2021 by Bartimaeus