The stupidest rpg companions.

[majestic]

4 hours ago, Skarpen said:

You can throw in at least half of Baldurs Gate companions rooster here. Between CON 9 Fighter and WIS 13 Cleric you gotta ask what were the devs thinking? Were they just rolling dice once and whatever dropped had to go in?

Potentially. When you play PnP with dice rolling you often end up with sub-standard stat spreads. Sometimes the results are hilarious. One of the players of our old regular group once rolled an INT 5 barbarian who was barely capable to articulate himself. That was a fun game, but the DM canned the entire campaign after just two sessions. Not because of the barbarian but... eh. Turns out his planned storyline did not play well with a group of players using the attack on their home village to plunder everything and try to run away instead of fighting the attackers off.

The stats of the BG1 NPCs would have been fine if they had just given everyone else rulebook based stats just as well. But no, monsters and enemies have highly optimized, sometimes perfect stats. Sure you wouldn't make a fighter with 9 CON even with a bad roll or a cleric that wouldn't be able to cast more than low level spells intentionally in PnP... guess Bioware figured out that WIS was a mostly useless stat even for clerics even before Gromnir came up with his character to complain about wisdom not doing anything. Heh.
 

1 hour ago, Zoraptor said:

That end bit was kind of the aim, though I'd say not specifically of Carth; given the overt similarities of it to PST which subverted general fantasy tropes and K2 subverting the most persistent SW tropes overtly. The point isn't that he's a gritty Carth, it's more a commentary on the logical end point of the SW stereotype Carth represents. You get a similar commentary on the biggest trope in terms of The Force too, where by any out-of-universe analysis it's outright capricious.

Atton is way more a take on the 'noble smuggler' trope and case study Han Solo than he is a deconstruction of the Anomen/ Carth/ Sky/ Kaiden Biostereotype- which is so cardboard it hardly needs deconstruction. Specifically, the stereotypical noble smuggler in SW kind of appears conflicted and nuanced, but never actually seems to smuggle anything 'bad' and never seems to do anything genuinely 'bad' either, including those in the EU who stay as smugglers with their own personal militia etc even after the rebels win. Can't say that about Atton, he has the facade of the noble smuggler trope but whereas if you dig below the surface of a Han Solo or Talon Karrde you find a heart of gold beneath Atton Rand lurks an outright psychopath who gloried in the pain of others.

It was pretty obvious Avellone had read a lot of the SWEU because apart from the obvious PST links (Atris/ Trias; Sion/ Ignus; Nihlus/ Vhailor; Kreia/ Ravel) you also had a bunch of subversion of its tropes and Kreia's force philosophy was borrowed more or less wholesale from Vergere's.

I seem to recall an interview where MCA stated that he read much - if not all - of the Star Wars EU in preparation for writing for KotOR 2. And yes, he couldn't deny it even if he tried. Kreia wasn't just based on Vergere, her philosophy and ideas regarding pratical skills and how the Jedi are limited by relying on the force too much comes directly from Mara Jade in the NJO books.

As far as annoying NPCs go I seem to have really high tolerance. I don't mind Carth, Kaidan or Alistair. Or even Annoymen. The only NPC that ever really bothered me was Aerie, and to be honest that had more to do with the incredibly terrible timing of her whining-triggers in my first Baldur's Gate 2 playthrough than being straight out annoyed by her whining all the time.

[ComradeYellow]

Companions?  Pshh I'm a lone gunman baby.

[StupidSeal]

13 hours ago, Malcador said:

It was fun to kill Mission in KOTOR

I try to get her furry friend the BIG Z to kill her. Am I a psychopathic seal? 

 

7 hours ago, kanisatha said:

Aren't these entirely subjective?

They are fact. 
 

[StupidSeal]

11 hours ago, bugarup said:

Oi, Seal. That's false advertisin' right there in the title. Like, I expected to see some sort of parade of the hurrest of the durrs, but 'tis just a plain, boring, can-do-it-myself list of "NPC I don't like". Pfffft. Boooring. 'sides, while Kai Leng (ptui!) totally deserves to choke on piss-soaked cornflakes, he is was, fortunately, not a companion.

I'm sorry. I tried to stay true to my values in making this list but I was so overwhelmed by companions who I hated that I had to just include them on this list. Even Kai Leng who wasn't even a valid fit for this list I had to throw in as I just want to bite off his face. **** KAI LENG 

[the_dog_days]

So I'm the only poor bastard who played Mass Effect Andromeda? That whole team. Complete crap. 1) You couldn't direct them to use there powers in combat 2) You can't equip them with the items you want them to use 3) They have dead-end skill tree options 4) They're all annoying as hell 5) You have to have two of these idiots with you at all times. They make the pawns in Dragon's Dogma look thoughtful and fleshed out as personalities.

Edited September 29, 2020 by the_dog_days

[BruceVC]

47 minutes ago, StupidSeal said:

I'm sorry. I tried to stay true to my values in making this list but I was so overwhelmed by companions who I hated that I had to just include them on this list. Even Kai Leng who wasn't even a valid fit for this list I had to throw in as I just want to bite off his face. **** KAI LENG 

Also there is no forum rule that says people have to comment on any topic they feel is repetitive or banal...if you dont like a topic thats okay but other people may want to comment 

[StupidSeal]

16 hours ago, Wormerine said:

Everyone in Kingmaker. 

I have never played Kingmaker but I will avoid it like the plague  

 

46 minutes ago, BruceVC said:

Also there is no forum rule that says people have to comment on any topic they feel is repetitive or banal...if you dont like a topic thats okay but other people may want to comment 

Spot on. 

[BruceVC]

1 hour ago, the_dog_days said:

So I'm the only poor bastard who played Mass Effect Andromeda? That whole team. Complete crap. 1) You couldn't direct them to use there powers in combat 2) You can't equip them with the items you want them to use 3) They have dead-end skill tree options 4) They're all annoying as hell 5) You have to have two of these idiots with you at all times. They make the pawns in Dragon's Dogma look thoughtful and fleshed out as personalities.

You really must use Mods, I am currently playing MEA and that is not my experience at all..my squad plays an effective part in all combat 

Here are some good  " squad  " Mods  that   should address your issues

https://www.nexusmods.com/masseffectandromeda/mods/359

https://www.nexusmods.com/masseffectandromeda/mods/812

 

 

[bugarup]

1 hour ago, the_dog_days said:

So I'm the only poor bastard who played Mass Effect Andromeda? That whole team. Complete crap. 1) You couldn't direct them to use there powers in combat 2) You can't equip them with the items you want them to use 3) They have dead-end skill tree options 4) They're all annoying as hell 5) You have to have two of these idiots with you at all times. They make the pawns in Dragon's Dogma look thoughtful and fleshed out as personalities.

Agreed with all but 4, because I found them so dull and bland that they couldn't even be annoying. It was like everyone on the team was a Kaidan. Yaaaa---aaaAA---awn.  

Oh, and someone mentioned Kingmaker, so...ahem. Tristian, you execrable, despicable, sanctimonious, preachy, hypocritic, cowardly imbecile, go choke on Kai Leng's (ptui!) anime katana.   

 

[the_dog_days]

1 hour ago, BruceVC said:

You really must use Mods, I am currently playing MEA and that is not my experience at all..my squad plays an effective part in all combat 

Here are some good  " squad  " Mods  that   should address your issues

https://www.nexusmods.com/masseffectandromeda/mods/359

https://www.nexusmods.com/masseffectandromeda/mods/812

 

 

Is there one that deletes the rest of the squad, 'cause otherwise the problem still persists.

[BruceVC]

56 minutes ago, the_dog_days said:

Is there one that deletes the rest of the squad, 'cause otherwise the problem still persists.

Im not sure, there is a  Mod that silences there comments and general noise if you find that annoying

https://www.nexusmods.com/masseffectandromeda/mods/745

But I am not sure why you would want to, outside of your criticisms,  remove your squad from planet deployments because sometimes there are quests and missions dependent on a specific squad member being in the squad and commenting ?

And you will undermine any Romance arcs if you didnt have a squad in deployment IMO 

So I would contend your squad is an intrinsic part of the overall Bioware RPG experience ....I doubt I would play any of there games if there wasnt this gaming mechanic 

[Wormerine]

5 hours ago, StupidSeal said:

I have never played Kingmaker but I will avoid it like the plague  

 It's actually not that bad. I just really have a bone to pick with Kingmaker. It's like Dragon Age: Origins, where other peoples love for it completely eludes me, although for different reasons. Writing or storytelling is just not something Kingmaker is concerned about. It makes Icewind Dale games look like narrative driven masterpieces. Companions in Kingmaker aren't great, but tedious design overshadows every other good&bad thing about it. My last Kingmaker session was 3 hours long and all I did was waiting for things to happen, "managing" the kingdom. I "love" how stretch out the quests are (1) kingdom management card - companion currently in your party wants to talk to you in the throne room 2) multiple rests and load screens later: throne room conversation -> could we talk in the tavern? 3) tavern two loadscreens later -> could we go back to where we were when you got initial message as I have business to attend? 4) short event in said location and 5) could we talk in the throne room about what happened? 

I have over 150h in Kingmaker now. I feel it would be closer to 30-40 if all the dead space was removed. It's not like it's systemic or anything. 

[Amentep]

16 hours ago, Skarpen said:

I've never understood the hate for RE5 AI companion whether it was Sheva or Chris never had a problem with them. Never died on me stupidly or did anything infuriating. And I've beat this game to 100% at least thrice.  

Neither did I.  Never had an issue with the AI creating a problem for me by and large in RE5.

Also, I'm not sure Lionheart's companions are bad so much as combat is broken to the point the game is almost unplayable once it becomes a combat centric game post Barcelona.  

Didn't mind the companions in MSAndromeda.  But I liked that game more than most people, I think.

[ComradeYellow]

1 hour ago, Amentep said:

Didn't mind the companions in MSAndromeda.  But I liked that game more than most people, I think.

I have not played ME:A but most of the harshest criticisms stem from internet edginess more than anything rather than genuine disgust towards a video game.

I mean how often do you see people praising games like Battlefield on the net?

[Hurlshort]

For my money, the Mass Effect Trilogy had the best cast of characters out of these RPG's. I mean the entire 2nd game is really just about developing their storylines, and that is probably the best in the series. Plus Garrus is the best friend I've ever had in a game.

Although Hitman from Jagged Alliance is the best father figure I've ever had in a game, so maybe there is something wrong with me. He called me Ace. 

[PK htiw klaw eriF]

Now that I think of it, the Pawns in Dragons Dogma. It'd be one thing if they were just blank slates, but not being able to get hybrid classes really sucks.

4 hours ago, Wormerine said:

 It's actually not that bad. I just really have a bone to pick with Kingmaker. It's like Dragon Age: Origins, where other peoples love for it completely eludes me, although for different reasons. Writing or storytelling is just not something Kingmaker is concerned about. It makes Icewind Dale games look like narrative driven masterpieces. Companions in Kingmaker aren't great, but tedious design overshadows every other good&bad thing about it. My last Kingmaker session was 3 hours long and all I did was waiting for things to happen, "managing" the kingdom. I "love" how stretch out the quests are (1) kingdom management card - companion currently in your party wants to talk to you in the throne room 2) multiple rests and load screens later: throne room conversation -> could we talk in the tavern? 3) tavern two loadscreens later -> could we go back to where we were when you got initial message as I have business to attend? 4) short event in said location and 5) could we talk in the throne room about what happened? 

I have over 150h in Kingmaker now. I feel it would be closer to 30-40 if all the dead space was removed. It's not like it's systemic or anything. 

I have 250 hr in Kingmaker, of which at least 100 (in all likelihood 200) is having the game running while I do other things.

The game is ok, but the love some folks have for it is headscratching. It's really weird to see people who hate turn-based games praise it, given that it's built on a turn-based ruleset jammed into a real time chasis. I think Deadfire is better in every way, but I guess my taste is weird.

[bugarup]

5 hours ago, Wormerine said:

 It's actually not that bad. I just really have a bone to pick with Kingmaker. It's like Dragon Age: Origins, where other peoples love for it completely eludes me, although for different reasons. Writing or storytelling is just not something Kingmaker is concerned about. It makes Icewind Dale games look like narrative driven masterpieces. Companions in Kingmaker aren't great, but tedious design overshadows every other good&bad thing about it. My last Kingmaker session was 3 hours long and all I did was waiting for things to happen, "managing" the kingdom. I "love" how stretch out the quests are (1) kingdom management card - companion currently in your party wants to talk to you in the throne room 2) multiple rests and load screens later: throne room conversation -> could we talk in the tavern? 3) tavern two loadscreens later -> could we go back to where we were when you got initial message as I have business to attend? 4) short event in said location and 5) could we talk in the throne room about what happened? 

I have over 150h in Kingmaker now. I feel it would be closer to 30-40 if all the dead space was removed. It's not like it's systemic or anything. 

And don't forget slow, sloooooooow crawl from point A to point B both on the world and local maps. And buffing before every fight, good 20% of my Kingmaker time has to be applying buffs alone. This game disrespects player's time as if was some bloody MMO, only without the reason MMOs have (subscription money per time unit).

[Malcador]

5 hours ago, Hurlshot said:

I mean the entire 2nd game is really just about developing their storylines,

You mean their daddy issues ?

[Skazz]

22 hours ago, Malcador said:

I am disappointed I could only shoot him once.  Actually, sort of dumb for Shepard to not make sure he's dead, no need to let him even have a chance of dragging himself to the elevator.

I bought a singing Mordin plushie at PAX West*. I regret nothing.

*This is despite me not being big on merchandise and/or conventions.

[Skarpen]

5 hours ago, Hurlshot said:

I mean the entire 2nd game is really just about developing their storylines

ME2 is basically just one big companion quest. It's an improvement I guess from the first one which was mostly a mining minigame. 

[StupidSeal]

17 hours ago, Skazz said:

I bought a singing Mordin plushie at PAX West*. I regret nothing.

*This is despite me not being big on merchandise and/or conventions.

I thought we were alike. Turns out you are a monster. 

[Amentep]

18 hours ago, Skarpen said:

ME2 is basically just one big companion quest. It's an improvement I guess from the first one which was mostly a mining minigame. 

With the MAKO sections, I thought it was a sequel to Moon Patrol.

[HoonDing]

All of them.

[StupidSeal]

8 hours ago, HoonDing said:

All of them.

Now that I think about it... 

[Skazz]

Now, where's my favorite gif—