daven Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Not sure why i'm posting here. Well i'm pretty drunk... Anyone gone through this? He had cancer for around a year, lung and liver. Chemo/radiotherapy didn't really do anything. He wouldn't answer the phone last week so I went to his apartment, had to get the fire service to break down the door and an ambulance take him. Every day his condition got worse, saw his last breath this morning. It was pretty traumatising. Don't think i've ever felt this way. 58 years old. nowt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfted1 Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 My condolences, daven. That's way too young to go. "I'm your biggest fan, Ill follow you until you love me, Papa" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadySands Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I'm so sorry, man. I also lost a parent to cancer way too soon and sympathize with you. Nothing wrong with wanting to talk about it, it helped me. Free games updated 3/4/21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guard Dog Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Deepest condolences daven. That truly sucks. "While it is true you learn with age, the down side is what you often learn is what a damn fool you were before" Thomas Sowell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daven Posted August 6, 2019 Author Share Posted August 6, 2019 Cheers guys. He didn't say how bad it was, claimed the chemo was working and that... but he'd started avoiding his appointments I found out later. The cancer spread to his spine, bone marrow, possibly brain. Suppose I just need time now. It's over. nowt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algroth Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 I had a roommate who lived with me around the time his father was suffering from a brain tumour. I'm sorry to hear this, it's really tough. My Twitch channel: https://www.twitch.tv/alephg Currently playing: Roadwarden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyCrimson Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 Not my father, but one of my best friends. Condolences. “Things are as they are. Looking out into the universe at night, we make no comparisons between right and wrong stars, nor between well and badly arranged constellations.” – Alan Watts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleArmadillo0 Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 My uncle passed from cancer several years ago and it is quite painful for him near the end. You have my condolences daven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bartimaeus Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 (edited) Sorry man, . A couple years back, my grandpa finally got diagnosed with lung cancer after having suffered coughing fits for years while the VA kept telling him that everything checked out fine. Until he went to a non-VA clinic and they found that he had metastasized lung cancer that was much too advanced to have any realistic chance of making it go into remission. He started chemo pretty soon after in a "prolong life as much as possible" sort of treatment, but his body was just too far gone already and he died within like a month and a half. I saw him in person right before they sent him home for hospice care (i.e. to die, for anyone that doesn't know what this term means exactly - I only mention it because I actually didn't before my own experience here). It was a little shocking to see his physical state - was looking pretty close to an Auschwitz victim at that point, and it was especially bad because he could just ever so barely talk...but I'm still glad that I saw him. Hope you had plenty of chances to see your dad before he went. When these things start going south, there seems like a lot of time to do these things but unless you very conveniently live in the same area, you can easily end up taking more time than a person's got - that was nearly my case, and I think I would've regretted it for the rest of my life if I hadn't seen him. Edited August 7, 2019 by Bartimaeus Quote How I have existed fills me with horror. For I have failed in everything - spelling, arithmetic, riding, tennis, golf; dancing, singing, acting; wife, mistress, whore, friend. Even cooking. And I do not excuse myself with the usual escape of 'not trying'. I tried with all my heart. In my dreams, I am not crippled. In my dreams, I dance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teknoman2 Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 i know the feel. back in university i had found my soulmate, the only girl ever for whom i felt more than just lust. 6 months in our relationship she got hit by a drunk driver at a bus stop. the only thing you can do is wait it out until you become accustomed to your loved one not being there. 1 The words freedom and liberty, are diminishing the true meaning of the abstract concept they try to explain. The true nature of freedom is such, that the human mind is unable to comprehend it, so we make a cage and name it freedom in order to give a tangible meaning to what we dont understand, just as our ancestors made gods like Thor or Zeus to explain thunder. -Teknoman2- What? You thought it was a quote from some well known wise guy from the past? Stupidity leads to willful ignorance - willful ignorance leads to hope - hope leads to sex - and that is how a new generation of fools is born! We are hardcore role players... When we go to bed with a girl, we roll a D20 to see if we hit the target and a D6 to see how much penetration damage we did. Modern democracy is: the sheep voting for which dog will be the shepherd's right hand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chilloutman Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Mother died from cancer few years back, honestly as much as it hurt to lost her, after seeing her suffer for so long it was relief for all of us, including her when she left (on Christmas eve) I'm the enemy, 'cause I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, and freedom of choice. I'm the kinda guy that likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder, "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecue ribs with the side-order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol! I wanna eat bacon, and butter, and buckets of cheese, okay?! I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section! I wanna run naked through the street, with green Jell-O all over my body, reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly may feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiene" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyrock Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 My condolences to you, it's gotta be really rough. RFK Jr 2024 "Any organization created out of fear must create fear to survive." - Bill Hicks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hurlshort Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 My condolences daven. He is lucky he had someone like you checking on him and with him in the last moments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WDeranged Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Sorry Daven. My father died six years ago. The cancer was killing him but luckily a burst aortic aneurysm took him quickly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smjjames Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Haven't had that specific experience, but yeah, my condolences to you daven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daven Posted August 9, 2019 Author Share Posted August 9, 2019 Thanks all. Sometimes it's just helpful to share this sort of stuff. nowt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wormerine Posted August 9, 2019 Share Posted August 9, 2019 I am so sorry Daven. My condolences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InsaneCommander Posted August 9, 2019 Share Posted August 9, 2019 My condolences Daven. I have a relative that passed from cancer last year. I was not very close to him, but it was bad enough. Losing a father must be much worse. I'm really sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daven Posted August 19, 2019 Author Share Posted August 19, 2019 Just for closure I will post one more time here. Had the funeral today, I wrote the tribute/eulogy. tried to make it light hearted and people laughed a bit and also read a poem at the end. I was shocked at how many people appeared, turns out my dad had a lot of friends. Around 15 family and 35 friends came. It was quite sad as the last time I saw most of them family members was my Grandmothers funeral. Feels like that is the only time we meet. I should remedy that. I also realised that Funerals are much more honest than Weddings. Everyone is very genuine and upset and honest, Weddings however there is a lot of taling behind backs and bitching. 2 nowt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Corcoran Posted August 26, 2019 Share Posted August 26, 2019 "Anyone gone through this?" My dad, my mom, and my biological father all died. Biological father died of cirrhosis when I was ~12. Dad died about 5 years ago. Mom died 2 years ago. I haven't talked to anyone in my family for over a decade at this point, although some of them tried to contact me for a while. I'm a hard guy, but not a malicious one. "Had the funeral today, I wrote the tribute/eulogy. tried to make it light hearted and people laughed a bit and also read a poem at the end." Good for you, daven. Sometimes levity is our only weapon against despair. Better to be strong enough to carry others than need to be carried by them. 1 The woodwork beckons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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