It is also hard if you have to analyze people actively, instead of intuitively knowing body language and the subtleties of verbal communication. That takes a lot of effort, really, and it will only get harder with age. You really should examine yourself and answer these questions: is ist actually hard to make the effort to attend social gatherings, is it actually exhausting to be there, or is it really just exhausting to agonize over what has happened and what you have missed? From that answer, you can begin to deduce a number of things. You aren't very likely to be able to solve the first two just by accepting yourself. That much I can tell you from experience. If it is just the latter, then you really need to follow the advice I gave her a long time ago: feel a little more, think a little less. :) I'll give you two models to work with here. Or maybe three, depending on your point of view. First is going all nerd-metaphysical and quoting Stargate: If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago. Second is what she would do, assuming for a moment that she would care enough. She'd say something like: Look for someone if you want someone. Don't look for nobody just so you can congratulate yourself when you find them, doofus. :P and then proceed to bat you over the head with a mallet and kick you when you're down, because you're combining a foregone conclusion with the idea that someone can do all the emotional work for you. Reality doesn't smell of sunshine dust, dear. Third, well, the more explicit telling: if you already expect to find no one, then you will not. However, you're not going to find anyone that will make putting in the effort not feel like putting in the effort. You can find someone who makes you feel that it is worth putting in the effort, yes? That is not the same as finding someone who makes it easy to put in the effort. If that is actually the block, then you need to identify and remove it - and that is also something you really need to put your back into. Because, in the end, at the moment you simply don't have anyone to hit you over the head with a mallet, or else someone who is patient enough to tell you what you already know, for like, the seventh time. I realize half of that makes no sense without context. I'm sorry. But not really. :P It's been a wild three days now.