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The Funny Things Thread


Rosbjerg

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"I have this terrible scenario playing in my head where a guy is holding his dog and officers tell him to drop the gun, but if he does his dog will probably get shot for running loose. "

 

Eh. Cops have shot dogs tied up in the backyard because they barked 'too loud'. L0L

DWARVES IN PROJECT ETERNITY = VOLOURN HAS PLEDGED $250.

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20141209.gif

 

I can only assume whoever drew this has woefully crap associates.

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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Old but too good to pass up

 

Oral sex 'assassination plot': Woman accused of putting poison in her privates in bid to kill husband

 

Brazilian wife accused of planting toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed

 
A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals and then asking him to perform oral sex.
 
The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed. Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell. The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour. The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

 

How that wouldn't also kill her I have no idea

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Free games updated 3/4/21

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Brazilian wife accused of planting toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed

 
A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals and then asking him to perform oral sex.
 
The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed. Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell. The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour. The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

 

How that wouldn't also kill her I have no idea

There are worse ways to die.

"Good thing I don't heal my characters or they'd be really hurt." Is not something I should ever be thinking.

 

I use blue text when I'm being sarcastic.

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Former Batman actor Christian Bale recently gave a quote that he would be jealous to see Ben Affleck take up the cape and cowl in Batman V. Superman. But when Michael Keaton was asked the same thing, he demonstrated once and for all that he truly is Batman.

 

In an interview with the Short List Keaton was asked, "Christian Bale recently said he felt jealous to see Ben Affleck wearing the cape and cowl – do you ever get that?" His response:

No. Do you know why? Because I'm Batman. I'm very secure in that.

 

*Insert every single mic drop gif ever made here*

 

The end.

 

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

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Old but too good to pass up

 

Oral sex 'assassination plot': Woman accused of putting poison in her privates in bid to kill husband

Brazilian wife accused of planting toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed

 

A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals and then asking him to perform oral sex.

 

The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed. Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell. The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour. The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

 

How that wouldn't also kill her I have no idea

 

Reads like one of those email chain stories/urban legends.

 

No name of any person involved, no name of the poison/toxic substance, nor the name the hospital. Only a city is stated. I call fake until further documentation can be provided.

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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Old but too good to pass up

 

Oral sex 'assassination plot': Woman accused of putting poison in her privates in bid to kill husband

Brazilian wife accused of planting toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed

 

A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals and then asking him to perform oral sex.

 

The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed. Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell. The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour. The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

 

How that wouldn't also kill her I have no idea

 

Reads like one of those email chain stories/urban legends.

 

No name of any person involved, no name of the poison/toxic substance, nor the name the hospital. Only a city is stated. I call fake until further documentation can be provided.

 

 

Possibly a fake story but these articles have a couple more details

 

http://www.theweek.co.uk/crime/51287/brazilian-woman-laced-vagina-poison-kill-husband

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/01/29/vagina-murder-plot-brazilian-man-wife-poisoning-_n_2572836.html

http://www.regiaonoroeste.com/portal/materias.php?id=29854

 

but still none of the things you've mentioned other than an officer's name

Free games updated 3/4/21

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Still seems dodgy; the original Brazilian site only seems to name a police officer. Typically you'd expect some other identifying details (when the arrest happened for example), the hospital involved (listed in the earliers report I can find as "City Hospital").

I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot! ~ Ro-Man

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