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The Community Blog (An Invitation)
New Community Blog (The Unintentional Gatekeeping of Video Games)

The Funny Things Thread.

Rosbjerg
in Way Off-Topic

Featured Replies

Man, thats just dumb. What always puzzles me is how they're not afraid at all, its a natural instinct to wet your pants at such heights to prevent yourself from doing anything stupid that gets you killed. I'm a mountain climber myself but I would never be able to do that......

I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
 

From a nice little anecdote a friend was telling me about:

 

Her 15 yr old daughter wandered into her room to ask something, paused, then did a "Mom, the drawer on that cabinet is open and it looks like your ball gag is about to fall out."

She turned around, fixed her daughter with a stare and promptly asked "How do you know what a ball gag is?"

The daughter said almost at the same time "Mom, why do you have a ball gag?"

She said there was this moment of silence as they looked at each other, and then both pretty much did a version of "This isn't a conversation we want going anywhere, lets just rewind and start over."

"Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

tumblr_msp1us47yW1qdlh1io1_400.gif

 

This is only true way to stop a car :)

I loved the ninja :) where are those cops from? or is it a special effects scene from a movie?(because I doubt that the ninja can repeat the exercise 5 times in a row in real life conditions)

 

That actually kind of brought me down for the day :(

Quote
“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

    • Like 1

    From a nice little anecdote a friend was telling me about:

     

    Her 15 yr old daughter wandered into her room to ask something, paused, then did a "Mom, the drawer on that cabinet is open and it looks like your ball gag is about to fall out."

    She turned around, fixed her daughter with a stare and promptly asked "How do you know what a ball gag is?"

    The daughter said almost at the same time "Mom, why do you have a ball gag?"

    She said there was this moment of silence as they looked at each other, and then both pretty much did a version of "This isn't a conversation we want going anywhere, lets just rewind and start over."

    And the answer to both question is: "50 Shades of Grey"

    I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

     

    *If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

    village_idiot.gif

    There_is_an_I_in_Team_but_its_hidden_in_

    "It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats."

    •
    • Like 6

    Oby, if you want people to like Russia, a good start might be not to post on English forums content in Russian... (besides its not that funny)

    ScienceFairProject_zps4c3b98ab.jpg

    "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

    •
    • Like 3

    http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/09/04/weekinreview/20100905_gilbertson.html?_r=0

     

    <<Une armée marche à son estomac>>

    "An army travels on its stomach."

    Napoleon Bonaparte

     

    At least the French one I think I could keep down. I'd be concerned about suicides in the field with the Scandinavian ones.

    Edited by Agiel

    Quote
    “Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
     
    -Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
    Quote

    "The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

    -Rod Serling

     

    • Like 2
    • Author

    Saw that elsewhere too, love how stereo typical they are haha.. The french with things like duck confit, venison pâté and nougat.

    Fortune favors the bald.

    •
    • Like 1

    At least the French one I think I could keep down. I'd be concerned about suicides in the field with the Scandinavian ones.

     

    What, not enough sweets for you? =P

    Civilization, in fact, grows more and more maudlin and hysterical; especially under democracy it tends to degenerate into a mere combat of crazes; the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary. - H.L. Mencken

    aXbWA3v_460sa.gif

     

    I gazed at the dead, and for one dark moment I saw a banquet. 
     

    •
    • Like 1

    There are places without souls

    xOLE6RN.png

    MzpydUh.gif

    TodaysSpecialFishNChips_zps5856582d.jpg

    "Cuius testiculos habeas, habeas cardia et cerebellum."

    •
    • Like 5
    3iGuk7n.png

    "Akiva Goldsman and Alex Kurtzman run the 21st century version of MK ULTRA." - majestic

    "you're a damned filthy lying robot and you deserve to die and burn in hell." - Bartimaeus

    "Without individual thinking you can't notice the plot holes." - InsaneCommander

    "Just feed off the suffering of gamers." - Malcador

    "You are calling my taste crap." -Hurlshort

    "thankfully it seems like the creators like Hungary less this time around." - Sarex

    "Don't forget the wakame, dumbass" -Keyrock

    "Are you trolling or just being inadvertently nonsensical?' -Pidesco

    "we have already been forced to admit you are at least human" - uuuhhii

    "I refuse to buy from non-woke businesses" - HoonDing

    "feral camels are now considered a pest" - Gorth

    "Melkathi is known to be an overly critical grumpy person" - Melkathi

    "Oddly enough Sanderson was a lot more direct despite being a Mormon" - Zoraptor

    "I found it greatly disturbing to scroll through my cartoon's halfing selection of genitalias." - Wormerine

    "I love cheese despite the pain and carnage." - ShadySands

    Dead rising fandom victim. Sad really. Was the chainsaw at least able to shoot some sort of projectile. 

    Na na  na na  na na  ...

    greg358 from Darksouls 3 PVP is a CHEATER.

    That is all.

     

    While we were shooting the s*** over Skype, a friend of mine came to a rather disturbing conclusion:

     

    "I just realized I prefer eating insects (shrimp) to eating ovulations (chicken eggs)."

    Quote
    “Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
     
    -Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
    Quote

    "The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

    -Rod Serling

     

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    https://forums.obsidian.net/topic/64946-the-funny-things-thread/
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