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The Funny Things Thread.


Rosbjerg

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...story about a night out.

 

Why am i not laughing? :(

"Some men see things as they are and say why?"
"I dream things that never were and say why not?"
- George Bernard Shaw

"Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man."
- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

"The amount of energy necessary to refute bull**** is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it."

- Some guy 

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tumblr_inline_mkhqu1HjiV1qz4rgp.gif

 

She's not saying "wink" any more.

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"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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i-mbkJC8p-950x10000.jpg
 

Found this funny given how I have a similar situation at the back of my PC, of which as of right now USB ports have a mouse, keyboard, Wacom tablet, Logitech flight stick, TrackIR, Codemeter dongle, and Microsoft Xbox 360 controller receiver plugged in.

Quote
“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

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An Intuous tablet or what other model?

 

A dinky Bamboo tablet I'm afraid. That said it serves me well enough for my purposes given that I come from a fine arts background (oil painting) rather than being a full-on digital painter.

Quote
“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

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An Intuous tablet or what other model?

 

A dinky Bamboo tablet I'm afraid. That said it serves me well enough for my purposes given that I come from a fine arts background (oil painting) rather than being a full-on digital painter.

 

Well that's fine if you're a hobbyist.

I'd say the answer to that question is kind of like the answer to "who's the sucker in this poker game?"*

 

*If you can't tell, it's you. ;)

village_idiot.gif

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An Intuous tablet or what other model?

 

A dinky Bamboo tablet I'm afraid. That said it serves me well enough for my purposes given that I come from a fine arts background (oil painting) rather than being a full-on digital painter.

 

Well that's fine if you're a hobbyist.

 

 

Don't knock it - I've got a Cintiq 12WX and an Intuous 4, but they are both consistently blown out of the water in terms of comfort, reliability and ease of use by my ancient Graphire 2, the Bamboo's predecessor. It's a pretty clear case of "it's not the size that matters".

Edited by TrueNeutral
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Perhaps not funny, just adorable and also a lesson that one should never give up, coz this dog certainly keeps his spirit up, and watch how free his balls are, it's an emancipated jingle bells for the great outdoors, no doubt! :)

 

*** "The words of someone who feels ever more the ent among saplings when playing CRPGs" ***

 

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A guy in the Canadian Army posted this on the Steel Beasts forum:

 

(12) Step Program for the Military about to retire

1. Speech:

-Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0530 or 1400; it is 5:30 in the morning (AKA zero-dark-thirty).

-Words like deck, rack, and "PT" will get you weird looks; floor, bed, workout, get used to it.

-"F***" cannot be used to replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um".

-Grunting is not talking.

-It's a phone, not a radio, conversations on a phone do not need an "over" or should end with a "out"

-People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from CTC Gagetown with the support weapons platoon or that you spent a deployment in theatre

2. Style:

- Do not put creases in your jeans.

-Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts.

-A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating.

-A high and tight looks really dumb as well.

-So does a tapered, but not as bad.

-A hat indoors does not make you a bad person, it makes you like the rest of the world.

- You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time.

-3. Women:

-Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls.

- Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first.

- Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard.

4. Personal Accomplishments:

-In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job.

- Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die.

-How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment.

-The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment.

5. Drinking:

- In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you"

-That time you drank a 26er of Jaegermeister and pissed in your closet is not a conversation starter.

- That time you went to the combat medics course and practiced giving vodka iv's will also not be a good conversation starter...unless, of course, you are dating a medic or MO. Then it's called reminiscing.

6. Bodily Functions:

- Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be viewed as "unprofessional".

-The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled.

- You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is VD will also not be funny

7. The Human Body:

- Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true.

8. Spending Habits:

-You will have to pay bills

- Buying a $30,000 car on a $25,000 a year salary is a really bad idea.

-Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool.

- You will need health insurance

9. Interacting with Civilians (AKA YOU):

-Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal.

10. Real Jobs:

- They really can fire you.

- On the flip side you really can quit.

-Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too.

-Taking naps at work will not be acceptable.

- Remember 9-5 not 0630 to 1800 - so it is a good thing.

11.The Law:

-Non-judicial punishment does not exist and will not save you from prison.

-Your workplace, unlike your unit, can't save you and probably won't, in fact most likely you will be fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested

-Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job

-Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won.

12.General knowledge:

-You can in fact really say what you think about the Prime Minister in public.

-Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain.

-They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite.

- Read the contracts before you sign them, remember what happened the first time.

  • Like 8
Quote
“Political philosophers have often pointed out that in wartime, the citizen, the male citizen at least, loses one of his most basic rights, his right to life; and this has been true ever since the French Revolution and the invention of conscription, now an almost universally accepted principle. But these same philosophers have rarely noted that the citizen in question simultaneously loses another right, one just as basic and perhaps even more vital for his conception of himself as a civilized human being: the right not to kill.”
 
-Jonathan Littell <<Les Bienveillantes>>
Quote

"The chancellor, the late chancellor, was only partly correct. He was obsolete. But so is the State, the entity he worshipped. Any state, entity, or ideology becomes obsolete when it stockpiles the wrong weapons: when it captures territories, but not minds; when it enslaves millions, but convinces nobody. When it is naked, yet puts on armor and calls it faith, while in the Eyes of God it has no faith at all. Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of Man...that state is obsolete."

-Rod Serling

 

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Since when was VD not funny?

"It wasn't lies. It was just... bull****"."

             -Elwood Blues

 

tarna's dead; processing... complete. Disappointed by Universe. RIP Hades/Sand/etc. Here's hoping your next alt has a harp.

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