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Posted
Mira (to Exile): "Before I make out with you, old man, I would rather kiss a Wookie!"

DS Exile: "That can be arranged."

Hanharr: <growl>

 

----------------------------

 

Exile: "Your overconfidence is your weakness Kreia."

Kreia: "Your faith in your friends is yours/"

Exile: "Friends? Do you see any friends here on Malachor V?"

 

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Atton: "Hey Mandalore, that armour doesn't come with a jet pack does it?"

 

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Exile: "Revan was seeking to toughen up the Republic so they could face an enemy from the Unknown Regions? Didn't Timothy Zahn already use this story?"

 

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Darth Sion: Jeeedai!!!

Posted

Exile: *squish* Wha... oh hell, bad Hanharr!

 

- - - - - -

 

Bao-Dur: General, do you have a few moments?

Exile:

1. Certainly, I'm always here for you, you're my favorite party member.

2. Not now, Thorney, I'm meditating.

3. [ignore him.]

4. [Force Choke him.]

 

-Ben

Posted

Situation: The Ebon Hawk is on its way to Telos. Nihilus attacks the Citadel Station and the exile is meditating.

-------

Visas: Since i know you where there, i loved you more then life. Stay. Let me look at you like the handmaiden does.

Exile: Hmmm... acually i wanted to check out your loading ramp... but okay, lets do that 'looking' thing.

 

Situation: Atris is defeated and Exile has to decide her destiny.

------

The romantic ending:

Atris: "You ... will have mercy? But ... Why?"

Exile: "I always loved you, Atris. Come with me. Be mine - now and forever."

 

The Sith ending:

Atris: "Really? You ... love me?"

Exile: "Naw, just joking. I will push you into the next reactor."

Posted

Exile (to Kreia): "You wouldn't have heard of a Sith-Lord called Nietzsche by any chance, now would you?"

 

-------------------

 

HK-47 (singing and dancing in step with the HK-50's):

"We are strong! No one can tell us we’re wrong! Searching our parts for so lohohong! Love is a battlefield..."

 

-----------------

 

LA-spokesman (to the characters): "We're altering the ending. Pray that we do not alter it any further!"

Posted

And a last one from me...

 

Situation: Visas meets Darth Nihilus and falls on her knees in front of him.

Visas: How may I serve you, Master?

Nihilus: ti emusonc ot deen I. ybrean eceneserp a tlef I.

Visas:

Posted

Hk-47: Exterminate! I will exterminate the Doctor!

 

Disiciple: AiiiE!! Protect me! *leaps into Mandalore's arms*

 

Mandalore: Armour...pillock...too...heavy. *collapses*

 

*Mira walks in and raise and eyebrow*

 

Mira (to Exile): I think Mandalore and Disicple hooked up a power conduit again.

 

HK-47: *walks into wall*

Posted

(When Kreia teaches you about reading thoughts and you listen round the ship to the hyperdrive and T3)

Kreia: Listen to them... on the ship...

(Exhile listens)

(Atton is in the front of the Ebon Hawk)

Atton: (thoughts) Good, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue is out. Damn it, we're on Dantooine. I bet this stupid backwater planet doesn't even have a news stand.

(Handmaiden in the cargo hold).

Handmaiden: Fighting naked? Hm gotta try that...

Exhile: Hey!

Kreia: Do not visit her anymore

--- or if you're Female ---

(Disciple inthe Medical Bay)

Disciple: When I get back home, I think I'll pick up that plastic lightsaber and start collecting Twi'lek Dancerz again. They're so pretty...

Kreia: Kick him off, since he obviously does not know if he is a real man or not.

(Visas in the port (?) dormitory)

Visas: Too bad the jargon my old master spoke doesn't have a dictionary... I would really like to know what he said as he saw those Twi'lek dancers through the Force.

(Bao-Dur in the garage)

Bao-Dur: What do you think?

Remote: Beepity!

Bao-Dur: Even droids get lonely. Now you have a girlfriend.

Girl Remote (in a higher, more 'feminine' droid beep): Deep-boop.

(resumes to Kreia/Exhile's lesson)

Kreia: Now you see why I do not approve of so many joining.

Exhile: I now understand you fully.

signature2.jpg

Fanfics:

KotOR II: After the Credits Rolled: Read

Force Sight: Read

Other:

Gaming Blog: Read

Posted

Darth Nithilus : aghhhahha ghaahhaga gghaa gahhhaaa (Get my Dam*ned Oxygen Tank)

 

Darth Sion: So Kreia this cream will clear my skin up?

 

Bao-Dur : I ... I ... I swear im not gay ;) sure........

 

 

 

Disciple & Visas

 

Disciple: Can you see me now

 

Visas: yes

 

Disciple: good, can you see me now

 

Visas: for Exar's sake you've been doing this for the past 10 light years if you ask one more time do you think you'll get a diffrent answer ???

 

 

HK-47 & Exile

 

HK-47: [Lie] Sorry Master, I didnt intend to shoot the meatbag, my systems tell me that the index finger needs re-oiling, the other ten meatbags deaths were due to the weapons malfunction :lol:

 

Exile: Next time dont bring the oil with you, theirs oil covering your abdomen :lol: I probably dont want to know about that.

There is nothing there for you Jedi, only weakness surrounds the Jedi Order, just Give in

Posted

What happened to the other characters:

 

Darth Sion made a career as the galaxy's most famous goth-pop star. He composed three albums for angst-ridden teenagers, telling them about his broken soul ("Wound in the force") , the emptiness of existence ("Only what you take with you") and the anguishing (yet stimulating) torment of eternal pain ("Pit of Sarlac"). A few years later he got arrested for selling psychedelic salt to a group of Huttish minors (aged only 70) and was sentenced to ten years of social service, working as a counselor for droid prostitutes on Tattoine.

 

Atton Rand rediscovered his taste for torture. He stole the dancing outfit from the Ebon Hawk, opened a bar in Southern Telos and attends on a very selected clientele. He occasionally hires the Handmaiden to satisfy exceptionally resilient customers.

 

Mandalore auditioned for a role in "Battlestar Galactica" but got rejected because he refused to polish his armor.

 

Darth Nihilus started working as a consultant for "weight-watchers"and developed the revolutionary Miraluka-diet. He isn't hungry anymore.

 

Mira finally settled her dispute with Hanharr and married him. They are both working for an insurance company and have three beautiful hairy children.

 

GO-TO runs a bowling alley on Kashyyyk, together with the remote.

 

Visas had worked as a detective in one of Nar Shadaa's biggest casinos, finally putting her force vision to good use by detecting scammers from afar, but unfortunately turned color blind after seven years of active service. She now travels with a freak show and is happily married to the company's Rancor..

Posted

(Approaching Malachor V)

Visas : "I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big grey blur, I see a big red blur."

Exile: "There's nothing to see. I used to fight here, you know."

Visas: "You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient."

Exile: "Just stick close to Atton and Goto. I've taken care of everything."

Visas: "Oh... great!"

Posted

_________________

 

Bao-Dur humming: "I'm... to sexy for my shirt..."

 

_________________

 

 

Mira: "Hanrar will do anything for me - for a Scooby Snack! Won't you now, Hanrar?"

*cracks whip*

Hanrar: "Ruh-Oh."

 

_________________

 

 

Kreia: "The power of the Force is insignificant to Oil of Olaz. Watch and learn..."

 

_________________

 

 

Female Exile to Darth Sion: "No, I hate you - yet, I find you strangely attractive... oh , your helmet is so BIG..."

 

_________________

 

 

Exile to Visas: "I have some questions for you."

Visas: "Ask... and I will answer."

a) You keep bumping into that low-hanging girder above the loading ramp - are you trying to tell me something?

b) Why are you running around the galaxy in your grandmother's curtains?

c) Can you take Kreia out shopping while we go into the refugee sector? I'd like to help out a few people without listening to a freaking sermon every time I give five credits to someone.

d) Can you decapitate the next commoner for me who badmouths the Jedi when I speak to him? I'm kinda low on lightside points as it is.

 

__________________

 

Exile, to the 13th down-on-his-luck NPC beggar: "No, no... don't be silly! I may be trying to save the universe but I always have time to go diving in trash compactors looking for your lost Wookiee doll."

 

__________________

 

Exile, to the 17th poor NPC commoner: "So in summary, I will get you the missing hindparts of your droid, pay off your gambling debts, have you reinstated in your job, talk to the local crime boss about your girlfriend, and in return you will grumble about how Jedis are the worst thing since venereal disease and then offer me a measly reward you don't really expect me to accept?"

 

Atton, exasperated: "For gawd's sake, hire a freaking receptionist for these guys! We need to focus on the big picture here: Sith - Republic - Universe. Sheesh!!"

 

___________________

 

 

 

 

Trumbo

Posted
Exile, to the 17th poor NPC commoner: "So in summary, I will get you the missing hindparts of your droid, pay off your gambling debts, have you reinstated in your job, talk to the local crime boss about your girlfriend, and in return you will grumble about how Jedis are the worst thing since venereal disease and then offer me a measly reward you don't really expect me to accept?"

I vote for 17th poor NPC commoner as the main character in Kotor 3. He's now my official personal hero.

 

I think his response to the above would be:

 

Reward? Actually, the money was for you to get me some Juma Juice from the cantina. But if you're offering to pay yourself ...

"An electric puddle is not what I need right now." (Nina Kalenkov)

Posted

Escaping from Peragus...

 

Exile: Atton! Can't this piece of junk fly any faster?!

Atton: Maybe you prefer to go out and push?!

Exile: .............. *vein appears on forehead*

Posted

Everybody to Kreia: " SHUT DA PHUK UP! "

 

Exile to kreia: " God! I hate you so much" . walks off cliff ...

 

Revan tomb apparition to Exile: " Who'z your daddy?! "

 

Exile to Visas and Handmaiden: 'But i love you both the same! <Mind Trick> And you both love me! (buehehehe)'

Posted

Exile (watching the end game sequence): "I've a bad feeling about this"

 

Exile(female):"Where's Juhani when you need her?"

 

Kreia: "Fascinating"

 

Handmaiden:"Eat my shorts"

Exile(male):"Only the shorts?"

 

HK-47: "A problem has been detected and HK-47 has been shut down to prevent damage to your ship."

Posted

Why HK-47 didn't aski if he could kill a meatbag named Kreia??

And by the light of the moon

He prays for their beauty not doom

Posted

Atton: I saw her first!

Disciple: But I have a British accent. Chicks, dig that!

Atton: But look at your HAIR?!

Dicisple (looking around): Hey, where did she go?

Atton (looking around... finally understanding): I have a better question? Why is Bao-Dur missing, too?

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