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Things you wish a KOTOR2 character would say......

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HK-47 (Talking to his travel agent): "Statement: I'm interested in the Endor-Safari described in your brochure. Query: Do you know the average running speed of those adorable furry cretaures on the front cover?"


QUICK! Someone get the guy who voices HK and get him to record this! Maybe someone can put it in the game. :lol:

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Disciple: Atton, perhaps I should explain - I see relationships with others in a different light, not as possessive, or carnal. Relationships are something shared between two people and give both strength, whether through struggle or whether through affection.I admire her, perhaps even feel for her. It is difficult to be around her and not have such feelings

Female Exhile: Shut up, already. *Atton is speechless*

Exhile: You going to help me?

Disciple: WHat are you doing?

*Kreia appears, grinning at him.*

Kreia: Come to the quarters with me...

*Disciple yelps and runs away*

Atton *turning to Exhile after Kreia walks away & Disciple is gone*: Huh?!

Female: You'd be amazed at what you can upgrade a droid to do. *walks off*



Carth: Safe journey, exhile.

*Bastila walk on screen*

Bastila: Did she know anything?

*hearing Bastila's voice, Exhile runs back in*

Exhile: Oh my God! Bastila Shan with the Battle Meditation! Can I have your autograph?!



Exhile (after rescuing Vrook): I just save you, you old fart, so you should be lucky there's nobody with a blaster to your head, telling you to just put your arms across your body and slip on the white jacket.



*at the confrentation of Darth Sion on Malachor V*

Exhile: So, how much plastic surgery is keeping you alive? Super glue? Duct tape, perhaps, to explain your greyish color? *pokes*

Sion: I will break you.

Exhile: Just tell me just in case I need to do the same thing.

Sion: Well... you take Circus Peanuts...

Exhile: Those ornage things?! Finally, some use for them...!



*when asking Bartender Droid on Telos about entertainment*

Droid: We have an all-Bith band...

*music stops, cantina is in dismay*

Droid: What are you doing?

Twi'lek : We are Aerosmith!!

Patron: Oh my God, Steven Tyler!

Droid *to Exhile*: Those damn Americans, you can't escape their pop culture.



*when Visas takes off Sion's mask*

Exhile: What did you see?

Visas: Death... destroying

Exhile: No, really, what did you see?

Visas: *hesititant to answer*

Exhile: Just tell me. I've come from Malachor V, remember? I can handle it.

Visas: A clone of Disciple.

Exhile: *faints*



*wandering round Sith Academy*

Atton: Oooh, what's this?! *finds Malak's Jaw metallic thing on the ground*

Bao-Dur: Wow. Such a mechaism.

Exhile: Guys, Sion's here!

Atton: *puts on Jaw* Haha! I'm all metally sounding like a droid.

Bao-Dur: Such good craftsmanship...

*on the Ebon Hawk*

Exhile *crying*: They were amazed by machinery...

Mira: *comforting Exhile* That's what a real man is...



KotOR II: After the Credits Rolled: Read

Force Sight: Read


Gaming Blog: Read

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Darth Nihilus (at the Galactic Eat-O-Rama fly-in): "I would like to order a super-sized Katarr-meal with extra Miraluka. Oh, and make it a large coke!""


Visas: "Do you want me to hold the eyes?"




Lando Calrissian (being choked by Hanharr): "Ha...[ch]..HA...HAN..."


HK-47 (without limbs, hanging between the Wookie's shoulders) "Educated guess: That sounded like 'Hanharr, you little wuss! You fight like a girl. My pedicure has a stronger grip than you.' Provocation: If I were in your place, I would permanently silence the little twit. Need I remind you how often he told me that your mother is mating with Ewoks?"




Exile: "...and then I made my MA in Gibberish."




Atton (to HK): "Pit of Sarlac? Sounds romantic. Lets's go! And I thought you didn't like me..."

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Atton (finally coming to terms with his xenophile nature): "Is it possible to get the bounty dropped but have the Gand still chasing us?"




Atton (standing at the entrance of Vogga's warehouse in a greyish robe, staff and mistletoe in hand): "Ah! Droids only! Got it!"




Exile (looking at the Jedi Masters' bodies):"Hey wait a minute! Shouldn't you guys dissolve or something?"


Jedi Masters (jumping up): "Surpriiiiiise!"


Exile: "Oh Vrook, you old rascal! Guess I got 'punked' again. Where is the camera?"




Exile: "Sorry, I don't speak Spanish."

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(The other day on Darth Nihilus' ship, during Visa's introduction sequence)


Darth Nihilus: "Blshrnk Hjhlchshnkrbyrk Ashshpkrtk!"

Visas:"Yes master, I understand. I will see to it that your will is..."




Darth Nihilus: "Glgshnzzrrghg Ashnaz Lo'hrkrtrk Schshshsch'r'prtk!"


[Visas looks directly into the camera]


Visas: "What the..."


[Embarassing silence]


Visas: "WHY am I being subtitled? I speak perfect English. What about HIM? He's prattling gibberish, for god's sake!"


Darth Nihilus: "Hhhhrkrtkzzzl'bnagretzschbm! Ajjal' huh'bdregshlkrtzlm"


[Laughter from the audience]


Visas: "What was so funny? I don't even understand him."


[Audience roaring with laughter]


Visas: "..."


[Audience screaming and slapping their legs]


Visas: "You know what? That's enough. I'm out of here. I'm changing sides. Five years of acting school, two years playing Ophelia, and now stranded in some dreadful sit-com. So long, suckers."


Darth Nihilus: "Grglshk[bLEEP] G'hlwqrz, qu [blEEPblibBLEEEEEEEEEP]!"

[Audience breaks down with laughter]


***Commercial break*****


Snickers spot

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(Mira, Visas, and Exhile are in the area where Visas is in on the Ebon Hawk).

Mira: So, we're going to get the boutny on Jedi?

Exhile: We can't! Goto's with us!

Visas: Maybe we could dump him on Telos's Polar Academy and we could make him a Handmaiden?

Mira: I say we blast him down.

Exhile: Humiliation before blasting down.

Mira: Damn it!

Visas: Someone's coming!

(T3 enters)

T3: Beep-bo-beep.

Mira: Scram you bucket of bolts.

T3: Dwooo.

Exhile: Wait... hang on. Those computer skills come in handy other than for slicing systems...

T3: Beep beepity beep.

Mira: She knows what she's doing, tin can.

Exhile: Hang on T3... okay. We're all set.

(screen fades to black)

(resumes to Atton in the ****pit fixing the what-not and T3 comes up to him)

T3: Beep.

Atton: I'm busy, trash compactor.

T3: Deep beep wee bo beep.

Atton: What?!

(T3 starts to play a clearly modified holovid of Disciple talking)

Holovid Disciple: I am a transparent man with idiocy written all over my prettyboy face. I have no ego whatsoever and shoudl not have made the final product of a game. I will now go to Nar Shadda and try to pick up male Twil'eks in cantinas by using pick-up lines.

Atton: I knew computer skill was good for something...


^ very lame, I know.



Disciple: Exhile, I love you.

Exhile: That's nice.

DIsciple: I am a hero, baby.

Exhile: Sorry, but I don't like gay men.

Disciple: I care for you.

Exhile: I think someone put some skin on a droid.

Disciple: Do you love me?

Exhile: Okay, let's open you up and see who put in the Sappy-Idiot-Romance-Ruiner program in you...



Hk-47: Statement: Master, I desire to kill organic meatbags.

Exhile: Wait, I might have a job for you.

HK-47: Query: What is it you need crushed, Master?

Exhile: Disciple.

HK-47: Objection: That prettyboy? Surely there must be something better for me.

Observation: Maybe if we involved torture, it would be more pleasurable. Or giving him an advantage.

Query: What do you say?

Exhile: No, just kill him.

HK-47: Statement: As you obey, Master.

Obviously Evil Statement: Oh, blonde one, come to me! I need healing!



KotOR II: After the Credits Rolled: Read

Force Sight: Read


Gaming Blog: Read

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Atton: Okay then, so it's settled. Handmaiden gets the cargo hold, Bao-Dur gets the garage, I get the top bunk and-

Disciple: Hey!

Atton: What now, you fruit?

Disciple: I want the top bunk! The player character said I could have it!

Atton: Oh yeah? Well, the 'Exile' is in Iziz right now. So for now, that b*tch is mine.



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Darth Nihilus: "All your base are belong to us"

I'll prove my geekiness all over again by elaborating on this one.


Darth Nihilus: What happen?

Colonel Tobin: Somebody set us up the proton core.

Dark Jedi: We get signal.

Darth Nihilus: What!

Dark Jedi: Bridge door open.

Darth Nihilus: It's you!!

Exile: How are you darksiders!!

Exile: All your essence is belong to me.

Exile: You are on the way to destruction.

(Nihilus tries to drain Exile and fails)

Darth Nihilus: What you say!!

Exile: You have no chance to survive make your time.

Exile: Ha ha ha ha ....

SODOFF Steam group.

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Aboard the Hawk, just after repairing HK.


HK-47:"Query: Is there someone you need killed, Master?"

Exile:(not paying attention, trying to practice Beast Trick to no effect). "****, I can't do this. I need guidance... KREIA!!!

HK-47:"Thankful acgnowledgement: Done,Master!"

Exile:"Errr, what are you talking about?"

(Sounds of blaster fire and flamethrower shooshing aut of the starboard dormitory)

Exile:"What's going on in there???"

HK-47:"Gratifying statement: The meatbag is terminated, Master. Ahhh, my photoreceptors had not witnessed such acts of true love ever since that wonderful event on Malachor V!"

Atton:"That is one SICK droid!"

Exile:"You..what??? You flamed Kreia??? You idiotic piece of junk, wasn't it enough already that this game ghad a half-ass ending,now what are we gonna do??? Who'll be the final boss,now???"( Picking up his cell phone) "Yeah,Obsidian there. Looks like we have to go with plan B. Get Vrook a Vader mask, give him a fleet, and have him come to Iziz... Yes , he has the adress.... Man, after this, my agent is SOOOOO.. fired!"

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Exile (to that guy on Nar Shadaa) : "No way, geek! You knowing some technical stuff about the Ebon Hawk is not a proof of ownership! You'll have to do better than that."




The Onderon spaceport guard: "Forget it, pal. We are not letting you through. You had a visa, you gave it away. You found another one and felt charitable again . What do you expect us to do? Pretend that you still have a visa?"




Exile (to Visas on Dxun): "Quick! Steal another shuttle from the Mandalorians and come to Onderon! Everybody is looking for Visas here! We'll make a fortune!"




HK-47: "Ah, thank the maker! This bloodbath is going to feel so good."

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(Ebon Hawk crew is in the central place of the ship)

Atton: Explain this again?

Exhile: The Ebon Hawk needs repairs since *someone* blew up T3 to bits pratically.

Bao-Dur: But luckily he can be fixed. It will take more time since I lost my Remote too.

(everyone stares at G0-T0)

Goto: What?!

(turns back to Exhile)

Exhile: Anyways, after that Iziz incident and Atton's lack of skill --

Atton: Hey, that old witch put some sort of mind trick on me!

Keria: (not-so-loudly) It was so you'd stop raidiing the food supply.

Exhile: ...so we need to raise some money to fix the ship.

HK-47: Suggestion: Master, how about I termanite organic meatbags?

Mira: Hey, if anybody does the bounty hunting, it'll be me.

HK-47: Arguing Statement: But I can taunt them in their own langugage.

Mira: But can you blast them with rockets?

HK-47: Query: May I terminate this organic meatbag now, Master?

Exhile: No. She saved my skin on Nar Shadda.

Disciple: I think we should hold a meditation content.

Atton: Not you, again. I thought we lost you on Nar Shadda.

Disciple: Ah, but I found you on Telos.

Atton: He's obviously spying on you for the Republic.

Exhile: Really?

Disciple: (silent)

Exhile (turing from Disciple/Atton to the rest of the group): Any suggestions other than bounty hunting?

Kreia: We *might* have enough money if you weren't so charitable.

Exhile: Excuse me, I'm playing Light Side. I will play Dark Side next game so just keep your robes on.

Kreia: We're going to be stuck in this game forever if you don't stop rejecting rewards.

Bao-Dur: We could always sell some equpitment.

Atton: Yeah, and if we wanted a free show, we could sell all the clothing and armor, too.

Disciple: See?! That's exactly the kind of thing we'd expect from you.

Kreia: Just because he has a past doesn't mean you need to insult him, you ignorant prettyboy.

Disciple: I will be meditatiing.

Exhile: Good. Hey, HK-47?

HK-47: Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve, and is also ready to terminate a meatbag, at your pleasre, Master.

Exhile: Good, go torment Disciple by stealing his doll collection he keeps underneath his robes.

Exhile (after HK leaves): So do we have any ideas other than bounty hunting and having a strip club?

(Atton looks disappointed)

Exhile: Anybody?

Visas: Maybe we could offer a shuttle service after the ship is repaired so we could pay off the debts then?

Exhile: They want an up-front fee.

Atton: Then they'll take a blaster to the head.

Exhle: Sounds good. Let's go



KotOR II: After the Credits Rolled: Read

Force Sight: Read


Gaming Blog: Read

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