1 minute ago, Malcador said:

Well damn, was hoping he'd say it'd be worse dreck than Highlander : The Source or even that Highlander sequel people said existed.

How dare you sir...how dare you... Throws imaginary glove

1 minute ago, Sarex said:

How dare you sir...how dare you... Throws imaginary glove

Watch this whenever you feel bad at your job, know that people worked on and were paid for this.

 

15 minutes ago, Malcador said:

Video

Watch this whenever you feel bad at your job, know that people worked on and were paid for this.

That scene was so good I downloaded the video. Just kidding it was region locked so I had too, now to purge my hard drive.

Ah, to be a fly on that editors shoulder. Either the choreography was so bad he decided to fast forward it, or he was bad and decided that was a cool thing to do. Then again the John Wick 3 scene in the glass room could have used some of that fast forward...

3 hours ago, Malcador said:

 

Wait, is that a "real" "movie"? This isn't some sort of belated April Fools joke? Holy crap, that's significantly worse than the already hilariously awful Resident Evil: Afterlife ending.

 

On 5/11/2021 at 4:03 PM, Keyrock said:

Is this meant to be a comedy?

Comedy doesn't exist in 2021.

Well it was a "SyFy" movie, so no theatrical release.  Doesn't make it any less offensive to God and Man.   Has an, uh, interesting cover of Princes of the Universe in its soundtrack too

Edited May 24, 20214 yr by Malcador

I made it 1:42 into the RE review and wanted to choke the guy on the left with my bare hands.

16 minutes ago, Gfted1 said:

I made it 1:42 into the RE review and wanted to choke the guy on the left with my bare hands.

Rich Evans has the voice of an angel. 

I considered putting up a Rich Evans Laugh Trigger Warning, but I didn't; not because I'm lazy, but because I wanted those uninitiated and unsuspecting to not have any warning. 

Edited May 24, 20214 yr by Keyrock

Hating on D1ck the birthday boy, what has this world come to?

They're  making a Willy Wonka prequel starring Timothée Chalamet. If they follow the gritty origin story trend they could call it Dark Chocolate. 

Edited May 25, 20214 yr by Keyrock

I can't say this is the worst movie trailer I've ever seen since it didn't make me want to actively avoid a movie, like the godawful trailer for Ghostbusters (2016), for example. I don't, however, think apathy is the emotion a movie studio is targeting when putting out a trailer.

Back when I read comics I mainly read X-Men, Spiderman, Spawn, and dabbled in Lobo. Still, I knew who Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Thor, Doctor Strange, Black Widow, and so on, were. I have no clue who the Eternals are. I can only assume the comics and/or graphic novels this is sourced from are either recent or obscure. 

The 2 minutes of pure, unadulterated boredom in that trailer did nothing to make me want to find out about Eternals.

The comics are from the 70s, with additional runs in the 80s and then a few revivals (including one by Neil Gaiman) starting in the late 2000s.

In the comics, Mentor (the father of Starfox and Thanos), is a second generation Eternal, and the Celestials (briefly seen in the Guardians of the Galaxy film) are tied to the Eternals (essentially, the Eternals are experiments of the Celestials in the same way the Inhumans were experiments of the Kree (and the Kree were also experiments of the Celestials).

This teaser trailer, IMO, is pretty tepid, there's no character beats to grab onto, and so there is no real tease about things that the viewer might like, like an interesting character or story point.  There seems to be an emphasis on possibly a romance, but even that is so under represented that I'm not 100% sure that's the case.  It is just a teaser, so maybe a full trailer will make me feel more interested.  

Prior to that comic run in the 70's, they'd been background "mystery" characters. The occasional deus ex machina for advice or plot mcgubbins.

That 70's comic run was Kirby pulling it all together into a more consistent thing and reasons for their existence.

Basically the immortal supermen created by the Celestials back millenia ago when mankind was still coming out of the trees.  They grabbed assorted proto-humans, examined the genome, evolved, genespliced, played pattycake with the dna, and created them for certain purposes (which change, depending on which Marvel Universe you happen to be looking at).

The Eternals lurked in the background, became the wise Merlin types mostly to offer advice and guidance, with some wandering the villainy line, and others turning into looking for the next adrenaline high to stave off the boredom of eternity.  Generally self-policing to not have too much of a splashy effect on humanity.

 

So they are the Anunnaki, basically.

Edited May 25, 20214 yr by Keyrock

 

5 hours ago, Keyrock said:

I can't say this is the worst movie trailer I've ever seen since it didn't make me want to actively avoid a movie, like the godawful trailer for Ghostbusters (2016), for example. I don't, however, think apathy is the emotion a movie studio is targeting when putting out a trailer.

Back when I read comics I mainly read X-Men, Spiderman, Spawn, and dabbled in Lobo. Still, I knew who Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Thor, Doctor Strange, Black Widow, and so on, were. I have no clue who the Eternals are. I can only assume the comics and/or graphic novels this is sourced from are either recent or obscure. 

The 2 minutes of pure, unadulterated boredom in that trailer did nothing to make me want to find out about Eternals.

looks woke

Looks like Inhumans: The Movie, right down to having a GoT actor.

58 minutes ago, Zoraptor said:

Looks like Inhumans: The Movie, right down to having a GoT actor.

It actually has two. And Emilia Clarke will be in Secret Invasion. Maybe she will be a Skrull queen or something and Kit Harrington's Black Knight will say: "She is my queen!"

58 minutes ago, Zoraptor said:

Looks like Inhumans: The Movie, right down to having a GoT actor.

Marvel comics side was pushing Inhumans (to spite Fox over X-Men) and Perlmuter forced Marvel films to add Inhumans. When Feige got pulled from reporting to Perlmuter, they allegedly dropped Inhumans in favor of Eternals.

Marvel TV, still under Perlmuter's control, then announced the Inhumans-IMAX deal, where the pilot for the TV show would be shot for IMAX and premire theatrically, since Perlmuter felt they'd promised an Inhumans movie (naturally, it bombed in all formats, and I say that as someone who likes the Inhumans, comic book version).

 

am not a fan o' the eternals in comics. kirby brought his dc new gods to marvel and the resulting story just kinda died. 

we did read the gaiman update, which made the eternals mess coherent if not particular interesting or enjoyable. kinda weird as am a fan o' gaiman, but were never all that whelmed with john romita jr. however, for eternals we thought j romita jr did excellent work while it were the gaiman story which left us unimpressed. go figure. 

kinda vague and unspecific generalizations? *shrug* don't wanna spoil.

is an ensemble cast o' demigods who is themselves little more than minor custodians for the celestials, which is fine if you are trying to make a comic version o' d'aulaires' book of greek myths or perhaps something like the prose edda, but am not envying the writers trying to do a movie-length story with the requisite compelling character stories while simultaneous needing deal with keyrock's fundamental questions as to who and what is the eternals and why he should give a damn 'bout them. 

alternative: make a forgotten one movie. introduce the forgotten one as a member o' the avengers in some other marvel movie or show. next, do a forgotten one movie, and if that works, then do eternals. 

HA! Good Fun!

 

 

^  From the title "Old" I thought it might be some documentary re: aging, retirement, something like that.  I guess it's not a documentary, but it's still seems to be a film about the horrors of how fast we grow up and how quickly time accelerates as we age. 

Plot twist, they were old the whole time.